At Work: When Kindness Isn't There

Sometimes the hardest moments at work aren’t about deadlines or pressure — they’re about how it feels to be treated. When warmth is missing, our nervous system notices.

This short practice invites you to return to your breath, offer yourself gentle compassion, and create the warmth you crave from within. Even in cold spaces, kindness can begin with you — steady, quiet, and real.

Transcript

When kindness feels missing.

So this strategy that we'll use today is going to include mindfulness of the breath with a phrase of self-compassion.

This is shown to help us with an emotional resilience.

Help us with getting more grounded and connected.

Workplaces can feel cold at times.

Brushed off,

We can feel dismissed or met with sarcasm or malice.

That hurts because humans are wired for warmth and co-regulation.

When kindness feels missing,

Our nervous system is alerting us to what matters.

Safety.

Affirmation.

Take a moment to feel your breath as a point of connection,

An anchor,

A soothing anchor.

As you connect to the breath,

As you become intimate with the breath,

The gentleness of the breath starts to become this soothing,

Rhythmic flow.

Everything is within the breath in this moment.

This is all we need right now.

Notice the air moving in.

Notice the air moving out.

In-breath and out-breath.

What might it be like as you get more and more familiar with your breathing?

The mind coming in,

Distracting,

And you gently coming back again each time.

What might it be like with each in-breath?

To just gently bring a phrase to mind to do with self-care or kindness.

I deserve kindness.

May I meet myself with care.

Now,

As your body continues to breathe,

If you intuitively feel this is right for you,

You could even place a hand and put it on your heart.

Or another soothing place on your body.

Maybe even noticing how you put your hand upon this part of your body and feeling what that's like.

Imagining the warmth from your hand coming into this part of your body.

As your body breathes,

What phrase do you choose?

Even though our minds might try and hijack this,

You have the capacity for gentle care to come back to the breath,

To use this statement,

Regardless of how you feel right now,

This is a practice.

And if you prefer,

Placing your hand on a part of your body just for the last part of this little practice.

Staying with the breath for a few more cycles.

Repeating your chosen phrase.

In-breath,

Kindness happens whilst we connect with the breath.

The moment we connect with the breath is a moment of self-care.

Kindness begins here and now,

With you.

Even if we don't feel like it,

We can practice it,

Just like this,

Just like right now.

Thank you for taking part in this.

This meditation has come to an end.

Reviews

Thank you Reuben for another supportive way to handle what life throws at us. Wishing you and yours a very happy holiday and all the best in the new year 🙏🏻

"I love and approve of myself.
I give to myself what this person cannot give me."

Like the shorter version I have listened to this many times.
Practising being with the breathe is so important, so that when we find ourselves in an unkind situation anywhere, at work, at home or in the community., we are already forearmed, we have already put on our amour.
My phrase “ this is you” sums up to me that I am not at fault if someone is unkind and also it is an acceptance that the way the person acts is part of them, I can either accept that or decide not to.
I love that you teach that the breathe is so important and find it is slowly becoming a routine response to unkindness. It is self care as you say and protects me from being hurt.
Christmas can be a toxic time for many reasons and preparing, practising the breathe can make the difference between happiness and unhappiness.
Thank you Reuben
🙏

I loved it Reuben! Every bit of it gently bringing my focus to my breath and repeating the affirmation silently even once because it simply stayed in my mind. It was lovely Reuben so simple and soothing as you always do with all your offerings. Forever, Tanusree ❤️💕