Reparenting - Feeling Deeply Seen By IPFs + Romantic Partner

In this meditation, you'll experience feeling deeply, deeply seen by the Ideal Parent Figures, then bring this feeling into a scene of yourself as an adult, feeling seen and transparent with a secure intimate partner.

Transcript

Finding your way into a comfortable position.

Wherever you feel comfortable,

You can be lying down,

Curled up in a bed,

Or seated cross-legged on the floor,

The meditation position,

Or seated in the chair,

Wherever's comfortable for you.

And there's no need to force yourself into stillness here.

You can let your body be relaxed and allow any of the subtle movements it may want to make.

And just bring your attention to your breath here.

Noticing the sensations on the nostrils as you inhale and exhale through your nose.

Even as you feel the breath,

Bringing your attention to the bottoms of your feet,

And the sensations that are there.

The temperature of the room,

Or the texture of socks,

Or the floor,

Or the air,

Whatever the feet are making contact with.

Noticing the sensations on the toes,

Even in between each of the toes.

And the arches of the feet and your heels.

And letting your mental life settle down towards the feet.

And your emotional life can settle to this foundation of your feet and the ground beneath you.

And feel that you're sitting inside of your body,

Looking out.

Rather than trying to observe the body from the outside in and looking into the body,

Just feeling yourself sitting inside of the body.

And you can let each exhale become a little bit longer than the exhale before it.

So the breath becomes slower and slower with each exhale.

And if your eyes are open,

You can close the eyes.

If they're closed,

You can keep them closed.

And as the breath slows down,

You become more and more calm and relaxed.

Alert and focused,

But calm and relaxed.

Relax.

Letting go of tension on the exhale.

Even 10% more calm and relaxed,

The slow breath.

Now you can let the breath just go to normal.

And instead of focusing so much on the breath,

You can imagine this light floating sensation.

Like you're floating on a soft,

Warm cloud.

And this cloud supports you in just the right way.

You can feel the way it just snugly supports your legs.

And your back,

The back of your head.

So you have support that you can release into.

And this cloud holds you just the right way that you feel safe and secure.

And I'm going to count from five to one.

When I reach one,

You'll be in a safe place.

A safe place that's just right for you to feel even a little more safe and secure.

And this cloud will carry you off to that safe place as I count from five to one.

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Three,

Landing in your safe place where you feel especially safe and secure.

Just taking in how that feels.

The inside your body,

The living from the inside out in this safe place.

Now,

Change the scene.

And imagine that you're a young child around two or three years of age.

And you're somewhere that makes you feel safe and secure just in the environment.

Can be the same safe place or it can be a new one.

You're in this safe place as a young child.

And into the scene walk one or both of your ideal parent figures.

Not your actual parents,

But a set of ideal parent figures who are ideally suited to you and your nature.

And they enter into the scene and just from their energy as they approach,

Just their way of being,

You feel safe.

They're very relaxed in their own bodies.

They have this sense of ease about them.

And you can feel their warmth and their friendliness just from their way of being,

From the way that they look at you,

The way that they approach you.

And these ideal parent figures give you exactly what you need in this moment to feel really safe with them.

They know you so well.

They know exactly what you need to feel safe and secure in this attachment relationship with them.

And this can be physical touch.

Could be no physical touch and just being present with you.

It could be playing with you in a certain way that makes you feel really safe with them.

Or just being near you and being present with you.

And the sense of ease that they have in their own bodies and their own sense of self really helps you to relax.

There's nothing to manage.

There's nothing to do.

You're the child and they're the adults.

They're here to take care of you.

Anything that you need.

And they're very attuned to you.

They really notice everything that is happening for you,

Your emotions,

Your thoughts,

Your experience,

Your needs.

They're really paying attention in a way that's not at all invasive.

And there's a boundary that you're your own person and they're their own person,

But they're there and they're present with you.

They're not at all worried about you attending to their state of mind or needing to manage their emotions or their experience.

No,

That's not your job in this scenario.

They're here for you.

And they're so present with you that you recognize you don't need to attend to their state of mind.

And instead you can focus on your own internal experience.

Sit inside your body as this child.

And look at your ideal parents and the world around you from the inside out.

So you have this inside out orientation.

It brings you back to yourself.

This attunement from the ideal parents.

As you come into this experience of your own body and your own world,

You can come into contact with this secret of your inner world.

Your inner world is a secret that is your own experience.

It's your own sense of self.

It's your own way of seeing the world.

That what happens inside of you is your own.

Take a moment to notice how that feels.

To have this secret of your own inner world,

Your own experience.

That the rest of the world is not in on.

Now you can feel that the ideal parent figures are in on the secret.

There's this sense of shared knowing between you and your ideal parents.

The shared knowing of your inner world.

All of you together in on this secret.

There's this transparency that there's nothing to hide.

And this is in a way that's not at all invasive.

They're not penetrating your boundaries in any way.

And you're not sharing something that's not to be shared.

There's just this really safe transparency of experience and this intimacy that your world is something that is a part of them as well.

It feels really good to be seen and known by these people that you trust so much.

They really have your back.

And it feels safe for them to be in on the secret because they're so supportive of everything that they see.

Everything that they see in you,

They deeply love and support.

And it brings them so much joy to support you in this way.

And now,

Changing the scene and now imagining yourself as an adult in your adult life.

And you're the adult who has been raised with this sense of intimacy,

This trust with these ideal parent figures.

And you can have the ideal parent figures here with you as the adult to support you and have your back if you need.

Or you can just reflect back on being the person who has received this your whole life.

This trusting,

Safe,

Intimate connection with your ideal parent figures.

Means that here as an adult,

You're the kind of person who can really trust people and share yourself.

That with the right people,

People you want to be close with,

You don't need to hide.

There's this sense of confidence in who you are and your own self-definition.

That you have this secret of your own inner world as the adult.

And you can also choose to let people in on the secret.

When you want to.

And imagine that you're here with a secure,

Intimate,

Romantic partner who is really just right for you.

This is someone who's really well-suited to you.

It's extremely compatible.

And in this scene with this secure,

Intimate partner,

You two are equals.

There's not this hierarchy like there is with the ideal parent figures where they're taking care of you.

And instead,

You're two independent people with your own independent secrets of your inner world.

And you care for yourselves and you also care for each other.

And your sense of self,

Your strong sense of self is in contact with their strong sense of self in a way that really feels safe and grounded and secure.

Now,

Taking a moment to be with this romantic partner in a way where you really feel safe.

You really feel safe with them.

And this might be through physical touch.

Might just be through eye contact,

Being with each other.

Whatever it is that you need to feel really safe as equals.

Sitting inside your body,

Experiencing from the inside out as you let in this sense of safety with this romantic partner.

And as you're here with them,

Again,

Feel that sense of your own secret inner world,

The boundaries of yourself and your body.

And feel that this partner also has their own secret,

Their own inner world.

And feel that they're in on the secret of your inner world.

And you're in on the secret of theirs.

You really see them with this sense of depth and support and joy in who they are.

You feel that they see you with the same depth,

Same safety and support for exactly who you are.

But there's nothing to hide.

And again,

Your worlds are not becoming one world.

You each have your own sense of self.

You're two independent people.

But you can really share this transparency.

You can feel that it brings them so much joy to see this inner world of yours.

Maybe even the edges of yourself that you feel uncomfortable with.

They take interest in those as well,

The curiosity and support.

You feel the warmth and compassion of intimacy that hugs the two of you,

That wraps the two of you in this warmth of intimate connection,

All in a way that feels really extremely safe and secure.

Feel your breath as you let it out.

Let this in.

Lean into whatever you need to feel even more safe and secure and comfortable so that this can feel good.

Really letting that in.

Letting that in to your body.

Using the breath to support you and being willing to experience this intimacy,

This safety.

The breath is centered and helps you feel a little more willing to experience this connection.

Letting that in.

And as I count from five to one,

You'll carry this experience into the present room,

Into the present moment.

When I reach one,

Your eyes will be open and you'll be awake and present in the room,

Settling in the experience.

Five,

Four,

Three,

Two,

One.

Awake and present in the room.

Settling in the experience.

Again,

Noticing your breath.

Noticing the shapes and sounds in the room around you as you look around.

Take a stretch,

Take a big breath.

Shake it out if you need to,

To reawaken the body.