This exercise is called Soften,
Soothe,
And Allow.
It's narrated by me,
Regina Lazarevich,
And it is adapted from Kristin Neff.
So this exercise is intended to help you deal with something that's feeling really difficult or uncomfortable right now.
So,
To begin with,
I want you to sit down or lay down in a comfortable position and just call upon something that feels difficult for you right now.
Something specific.
It could be a situation that you're facing in your life that's feeling really difficult or some conflict or just something going on in your environment that's just feeling really hard.
So the first thing that we're going to do is just take a few deep breaths.
So,
Breathing in,
And another deep breath in,
And another breath in,
And slowly releasing.
And now just breathe at whatever pace feels good to you right now.
You don't need to control your breath.
Notice where in your body the breath is most noticeable.
Is it in your stomach,
In your chest,
In your throat?
Just be with the breath for a moment.
And now I want you to,
Again,
Recall the details of this difficult situation.
All the specifics,
What's hard about it.
And now,
Without going too much further into the storyline,
I want you to notice what emotions are coming up.
Is it fear?
Is it anger?
Sadness?
What are the emotions?
What emotions are strongest?
What's the strongest emotion?
And now notice where in your body are you feeling this emotion?
Is it a clenching in your stomach,
A tightness in your chest,
A lump in your throat,
Tension in your forehead?
Just notice where is the emotion physically felt in your body.
Now we just want to make space for that emotion.
So bring a little softness to it.
So with each inhale and each exhale,
I want you to just breathe in and out of that body part,
Creating softness around it,
Softening to it,
Softening around the edges of the emotion.
Just creating more spaciousness around the sensations.
And it's natural when we're feeling something so painful to want to push against it,
To not want to experience it,
To want to make it go away.
The unfortunate reality is that the more that we try to push against the pain,
The more that we have it,
The more intense that it gets.
So we really need to focus on letting it be there in a soft way,
Without judgment,
And bringing some soothing to the emotion.
And so I want you to take your hand and place it on the part of your body where you are feeling the emotion most intensely.
And I want you to caress and bring some tenderness to the emotion,
To yourself.
And I want you to validate your experience.
Everyone experiences difficult emotions.
Everyone goes through difficult things.
And so I want you to bring some compassion to yourself right now.
You might want to say something like,
I'm so sorry it's so hard for you right now.
I'm here.
It's okay.
Soothing yourself for this painful experience.
Now I want you to just become aware of what this feels like in your body.
Just allowing yourself to be with this emotion.
It's okay.
You're safe right now.
Everyone experiences painful,
Difficult emotions from time to time.
This is just an emotion moving through you.
It's okay.
Letting it be there.
And noticing what the sensations feel like.
Are they still the same or are they changing?
Whatever it feels like,
It's okay.
Just notice.
And for the next couple of minutes,
I just want you to be with yourself in this way.
So noticing whatever difficult emotions come up.
Softening around them.
Noting the emotion in your body and just creating spaciousness and softness around those sensations.
Just being with them.
And then soothing and validating and bringing a kind,
Compassionate stance to yourself.
And then allowing it to be as it is.
Allowing it to feel as it does.
It's okay.
You are safe.
The emotion can't hurt you.
And go through that process as many times as you need to.
If you notice that you get pulled into the storyline,
That's alright.
Just drop that and come back to what the emotion physically feels like.
And softening,
Soothing and allowing it to be there.
Just coming back to the physical sensations and bringing yourself softness and soothing.
And now I want you to drop the exercise and just notice what your intention is.
What your entire body feels like.
And whatever it feels like,
Just letting it be so.
Letting yourself be as you are right now.
So just notice what does your physical body feel like.
Is there tension,
Pulsing,
Whatever the sensations are.
Notice the aliveness that is in you.
And also notice if there's any kind of tenderness or spaciousness that's also present here.
It's okay if there is.
It's okay if there isn't.
Just notice.
And congratulate yourself for meeting yourself in this way when it's so difficult.
We are all imperfect and life is imperfect.
We all face difficulties.
And we are capable of being with what is difficult.
And it helps if we can meet ourselves in a compassionate,
Kind manner.
And now I want you to just carry this compassionate attitude with you as you go on with your day.
