Hello and welcome.
This is a meditation about being with backdraft.
Backdraft is the experiencing of release and sometimes emotional,
Physical,
Or mental overwhelmment that can occur when we practice mindfulness and begin facing our inner experiences.
My intention is to invite you to navigate your relationship with this experience and through this guided meditation,
Learning to allow yourself to remain open to what is coming up.
When you're ready,
I welcome you to find a comfortable position.
Allow your body to settle exactly where it is,
Taking a deep breath in through your nose,
Feeling your belly expand,
And then exhale slowly through your mouth,
Releasing it all out.
If it feels safe to do so,
Feel free to close your eyes or soften your gaze.
If this doesn't feel good to you,
See if there's an object or place in the space that you're in where you can focus your gaze during the meditation.
For this particular practice,
Focusing on a doorway may be helpful.
As you settle into this space,
Feel the surface beneath you.
Feel your weight,
Solid,
Steady,
Grounding you and providing stability.
With each inhale,
Draw up energy and support from the ground,
Knowing that it's okay to shift your position or open your eyes.
You are your own expert and in control of your experience.
Bring your attention to your breath.
Notice the natural rhythm and allow your breath to become a gentle anchor in the present moment.
If thoughts arise,
Acknowledge them and then return your focus to your breath.
This is the foundation of meditation,
Allowing whatever needs to to surface and releasing them without attachment or judgment.
Now see if you can shift your attention inward.
Reflect on any emotions or experiences that may feel overwhelming or intense since you've begun your journey with mindfulness and self-compassion.
When we begin to explore our inner world,
It can feel like a backdraft,
Like a rush of energy when you open a door to what's been held inside.
I'm going to invite you to welcome change in your relationship with this experience.
I hope you can bring curiosity into this space,
Knowing that you can exit at any time.
Wherever you are,
Whether in your mind or in this room,
Can you see a door?
If visualizing doesn't work for you,
Let any judgment around that go.
Simply be present with what it feels like to be standing in front of a door that you've opened.
As you become aware of the thoughts,
Memories,
Sensations,
Or emotions that have started pouring through the door you've opened,
Rather than forcing the door shut,
Can you imagine each of them as different forms of wind moving through the doorway,
Coming through for you to witness and to feel?
One might feel like a gale force wind or a tornado.
Others might feel like a soft warm breeze,
A heat wave,
Or a sharp cold draft.
See if you can observe them without trying to change or suppress them.
Can you allow them to flow around you,
Noticing what each one feels like on the surface,
And what response you feel in your body and your mind?
Can we go one step further,
And can you allow them to flow through you?
What do they feel like as you let them pass through?
Do the responses in your body and your mind change,
Or do they stay the same?
Knowing that just like the different winds we experience while walking through the streets,
Out in the forest,
Or standing by the ocean,
These gales,
Winds,
And breezes are temporary,
Just passing through.
Allow yourself to feel whatever arises,
Knowing that it's safe to experience these winds,
These emotions,
Sensations,
Thoughts,
And memories.
Each of them have purpose.
On these winds,
Wisdom is carried.
Some are so strong that they create tidal waves,
Yet others feel like a gentle caress,
Barely making a ripple.
Each is simply a message for you,
To be acknowledged,
Felt,
Understood,
Loved,
And released,
One by one.
With each inhale,
Invite this clarity into your body and your mind.
Feel and watch the wind move around you and through you.
Each emotion,
Sensation,
Thought,
Memory,
Moving through.
With each exhale,
Relaxing your muscles,
Relaxing your body,
Releasing any heaviness or resistance to these emotions,
Sensations,
Thoughts,
Or memories.
These unique and interesting winds.
Imagine your breath creating space within you,
Allowing them to flow freely through and out.
Know that as each of these move through,
You are absorbing their wisdom.
That each wind brings with it chances for healing and change.
You might even silently say to yourself,
Welcome winds,
Welcome wisdom.
When you feel as though those winds have relaxed,
Or a pause between storms,
Consider what you would like to do,
Knowing it is your choice what you do with this door.
Maybe you leave it wide open,
Or maybe open just a crack.
You may also feel like for today,
You want to close the door and drag some heavy furniture in front of it.
Remember you are in control of how open you leave this door.
Know that you can always return to this inner space to change it.
As you begin to depart from the door,
Coming out of your inner world,
Wiggling your toes,
Your fingers,
Maybe stretching or shifting in your seat,
Take a moment to reflect on any shifts in awareness,
Feelings of safety,
Or clarity that you've cultivated.
Thank yourself for being present and open to your experiences,
Your internal winds,
And your innate wisdom.
When you feel ready,
Gently bring your awareness back to the room,
The feeling of the air on your skin,
Your breath moving in and out and through.
And when you're ready,
Open your eyes.
