Advanced Parts Work: Space and Parts Class and Practice

Ralph De La Rosa begins by offering an 11 minute talk on how we can, at the somatic level, open to the space of the present moment. The class is followed by an advanced 26 minute parts work meditation.

Important: Listeners are urged to *not* work with their most extreme emotional states here and this material should only be consumed when someone is not already emotionally activated and definitely not when in crisis. Rather, you are invited to engage with the powerful material in this recording when somewhat regulated so that you can begin integrating new tools that might help you the next time you are activated.

Transcript

I'm doing this practice right now with a sensory motor coach on how to get into the parasympathetic nervous system.

And all we're doing is things like,

Pay attention to the occipital bone in the back of the head and the tip of one ear,

And then the wall right next to you.

Know that your body is in space in relationship to that wall and feel the body in space.

And what starts to happen is the body starts to go,

And this is fascinating,

Starts to go from sympathetic nervous system response,

Fight,

Flight,

Which we live in actually,

I'm realizing 90% of the time,

At least,

Everybody,

Even if you think that you don't,

It's real subtle,

The difference between parasympathetic nervous system state and sympathetic nervous system state.

So what starts to happen is just with awareness of the body in space,

What starts to happen is the body starts to recognize,

I'm in the present moment,

When the body ordinarily left to its own devices is keeping the score and is running scripts and running on maps,

Nervous system maps that were built by,

Most,

That were built by the past and mostly by traumatic experiences,

The intense ones that the body feels like it has to hold on to.

So the body itself runs maps of our trauma history and is very,

Very likely to be thinking that one of these past horrible situations that we've been in is happening now.

So we start to open to the space that's around us,

And the body starts to write a map of the present moment wherein we are safe.

Aren't you safe right now in the room that you're in?

Isn't the room that you're in radically different than the room that you were in when you were a kid?

This is not unlike when we ask parts of us,

How old do you think I am?

And then we hear seven or 14 or whatever,

And we get to say,

Ah,

Did you know that I'm actually an old fogey now?

I am actually,

These bones are basically about to be dust.

I got back problems now,

You know,

And I've got a bank account and I've got a partner and I've got this home or I live 3,

000 miles away from wherever that happened.

However your situation is different from the time you were seven or you were 14,

You get to tell your parts inside,

Hey,

We're resourced now.

We get to make our own choices now.

That shit's been over for a long time.

It's literally over.

We never have to go back there if we don't want to.

Never ever.

We get to say that to our parts.

Very similar.

When we open to space,

It's doing a very similar thing at the somatic level,

Which I would argue is kind of a substratum to our parts,

That the soma kind of underlies our parts,

Which are psychological in nature.

Richard Schwartz might debate me on this.

In fact,

He probably would.

But we're kind of getting underneath the parts and we're communicating to them in a different way when we open to space.

So space and the awareness of space has something for us.

So Locke Kelly,

Who's a fascinating individual and also teaches side by side with Richard Schwartz and uses IFS to now to break down something that he realized and came up with and began teaching long before he discovered IFS,

Says that space itself has what he calls self-essence,

That it basically carries the subtle layers of self-energy.

For my money,

We could just say that space itself actually has self-energy.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

It's a self-energy that we can't get rid of.

That is the basic message.

One way of interpreting that is that is the Dharma itself.

That's the message,

The gospel,

If you will,

Of the Buddha.

That there's something about the whole of the Dharma could be distilled down to the existence of space,

Which how long has space been here,

By the way?

Space itself.

Not the material cosmos.

That which preceded the material cosmos.

If the Big Bang,

Which is being debunked now,

But if it were true,

What did the Big Bang explode into?

So we're talking about something primordial.

If not,

I don't know if we want to use the word eternal.

Some of us have too much scarring around these antiquated terms,

But we're talking about something special,

And we're talking about something that is hard to get our heads around,

But that's okay.

We're going to put this into an experience in just a moment.

But that is the basic message.

And what I think is that the space around us is actually allowing for our lives to be lived.

It is what in the Radian Sutras,

A Tantric text from the Hindu side of the coin,

That's about 1200 years old,

It says space is permission to exist.

And it's not unlike the element of earth in that the earth provided literally all the food that you ate,

The clothes on your back,

The materials of your home,

The materials that made your computer that you're watching this on.

It's literally the earth is offering you the opportunity,

It's offering you permission to exist and have all these experiences that you're having.

Space,

It's even more fundamental than that.

But space is a healer.

And so I believe that it's expressing something to us.

And what I'm going to just put out there for tonight is that,

Like watching a movie,

Right,

Where you suspend all belief and disbelief.

And there's things that don't like add up in your rational mind,

But you're like,

I'm enjoying this story,

I'm going to let,

I'm going to let it go that the characters just like flash forward with like three things left unexplained.

And like,

How did they do that?

Or he just fell from a building,

But his hat didn't come off.

How did that happen?

Right?

You suspend disbelief when you watch a movie because you want to enjoy the story.

And you want to see if things check out and turn out in a good way.

I'm going to,

What I'm going to ask us to do tonight is to entertain the notion,

Suspend disbelief,

That maybe self-energy is actually the fundamental,

Most fundamental building block of the universe.

And that when we open to it,

Something begins to happen.

Something begins to happen.

That message can be heard in a sense.

Space and the awareness of space.

So if that's true,

If we accept my wild sounding,

Hippy-dippy,

Way too boo-woo hypothesis,

Maybe confusing hypothesis,

Then that would actually mean that self-energy,

Love and compassion itself,

Surrounds us at all times.

And we don't actually have to want for self-energy inside.

We can actually open to the space and allow it to maybe come in a little bit,

Come into the space of the body.

Quick question.

How many of you all feel like you grasp setting the breath in its natural rhythm?

The other thing I talk about too much,

Right?

Yeah.

And those of you with your hands up,

How many of you all feel a pretty instantaneous,

If not like,

Takes a couple breaths,

But like pretty fast relief from that breath?

Yeah.

Cool.

That's the other part of our practice tonight.

What makes that breath so special?

Space.

Space between breaths.

So,

Very curious thing going on here.

The breath has the essence of self-energy as well.

The breath has the essence of self-energy as well.

It's the nexus of the body-mind complex.

It's the nexus between the autonomic and voluntary nervous systems.

The breath will regulate you.

It's literally keeping you alive.

It has a lot of qualities,

A lot of sensations that are very similar to what secure attachment feels like,

In its simplicity,

In its availability,

In its smoothness,

Right?

When we regulate the breath through natural rhythm practice,

And if you don't know what that is,

Don't worry.

Very interesting that there's a lot of healing propensities,

Properties,

Already there.

So,

That's my setup,

And I just wanted to unpack this a little bit.

Don't worry if you don't get it,

But there's something here for us that is super mysterious,

That is super confounding,

And is directly related to self-energy,

And if we can begin to glimpse it,

You and your parts will never,

Ever be lost in terms of how to access it,

That there is love and compassion all around you at all times.

All right,

So,

Enough,

Enough,

Enough diatribe,

Enough soapboxing space.

Let's get into our practice.

So,

Please find a good posture.

Let your pelvis be so heavy.

Let it really rest and trust the support you're receiving from below.

Sense of energy moving up the spine.

The collarbones are a little wider than we might think that they need to be.

So,

That the shoulders are balanced,

Neither falling forward nor back,

Hands placed well.

Undoing the cell phone scrunch in the neck by lifting from the crown,

Maybe even stretching the neck a little bit.

I think like you could bring a sense of space between the vertebrae,

And then forehead tilts forward just a little bit,

Chin moves in just a little bit.

The eyes are so soft,

All around the eyes and behind the eyes,

So soft.

Please allow your tongue to relax,

The roof of the mouth,

The back of the mouth,

The roof of the mouth,

The back of the mouth and the jawline,

So soft.

So,

As you feel your body here,

This breathing body of yours,

And if you want to,

For right now,

You could take deep belly breaths,

To send signals of safety to your nervous system.

But as you feel and know that you are in this body,

You know that you are breathing,

You know that you are breathing,

Know that there are walls around you,

To your left,

To your right,

In front of you,

Behind you.

There's a floor,

There's a ceiling.

You knew that before I pointed it out,

But now that I've pointed it out,

You're aware.

You know that you are in this breathing body,

And that body is in space,

In relationship to other objects in this room you're in.

And I want you to just stay there with that simple awareness as you breathe,

For about 90 seconds here.

What you will start to feel are little micro adjustments happening in the body,

That are probably your bones actually adjusting.

So,

Just keep feeling your body in relationship to the walls and the ceiling.

And is the space around you your friend?

Is the space around you safe?

Is the space not necessarily helping you to feel better,

But helping you to regulate?

So,

From here,

We'll take a few more deep breaths.

Maybe make them even deeper than they were before.

Let them go down to the belly and up all the way to the top of the chest.

And we'll set the breath in its natural rhythm.

So,

Exhales flowing out of the body,

Just sort of dropping really.

And then don't breathe in right away,

Let there be space.

For just a moment or two.

And then the inhale is a gliding kind of smooth,

Soft inhale.

And every exhale now,

You don't have to wait for my words,

But every exhale now,

We just want that exhale to fall out.

In for there to be space.

And then the inhale comes and we're very gentle with that inhale,

Not pulling the inhale or forcing it to be some kind of way.

And over the next several breath cycles,

Maybe the next couple days,

We're going to be able to relax in the space.

And then we're going to be able to relax in the space.

And then we're going to be able to relax in the space.

And then we're going to be able to relax in the space.

And then we're going to be able to relax in the space.

And then we're going to be able to relax in the space.

And then over the next couple dozen breath cycles,

The breath is going to begin to regulate itself,

Which will exert an influence in the whole system inside.

Exhale flows into an open,

Still moment.

Inhale is almost a surprise.

And if none of this is a relief to you so far,

You might want to ask inside if your parts are open to relief right now.

Are they open to feeling better?

Maybe they're not,

But wouldn't they like to feel good?

And then the final preparation is to bring the breath into the heart space.

All right,

We come through the sternum,

We come through the center of the chest,

Acting as if there's a nose in the spine.

That's breathing,

Pulling the breath in,

Letting the breath glide out.

So we're going all the way into the body,

All the way back.

And it's another space to explore inside.

Space of the heart.

Warm is emptiness,

Emptiness is form.

So check to see if there's even one percent self-energy on the scene now.

A little more calm,

Possibility of getting curious,

The space to be friendly.

If that's true,

We must concede that the breath in space has helped us,

Has ushered us into that place.

But it's high time we start noticing if there's parts,

Perhaps wanting this to be over,

Perhaps feeling alienated,

Perhaps laundry listing,

Or maybe there's anxiety coming up.

Just notice who's talking to you through thought,

Feeling,

And sensation inside.

And then if there's a lot going on inside,

Then you can select one voice,

One part that's making themselves known.

And focus on them.

Notice what they're like.

And can you find a way to help them feel heard and seen?

Maybe by just letting them know,

I'm noticing that you're tight in the chest,

Or you're saying this or that.

Let them know.

And do you have room to be curious about this part,

To be kind to this part?

If yes,

And you have lots of options,

Right?

One of them might be just allowing this part to express themselves for a few minutes here,

Inviting them to really let it out to you.

And if not,

If there's no self-energy inside,

One thing you could say to this part right now is,

Look at all of the space around us.

Right now you have room to play,

My friend.

You have room to dance.

You have room to scream into the void,

If that's what you need.

You have so much permission to exist.

Okay,

So we'll be here a few more minutes.

But just help give your part,

Either the self-energy around you or the self-energy in you,

To be witnessed.

To be witnessed.

And then the very last thing here is,

What do you want this part to know?

What does love itself want this part to know?

How do you respond to them?

All right,

We're going to take a few deep breaths here.

Let these be cleansing breaths.

Breathe as big as any of the feelings that have been here,

At least,

If not bigger.

So just start taking those deep breaths now to calm down.

Turn the page.

Maybe a real or fake smile here at the end.

At least an inner one,

Not because of how it looks.

We all have our eyes closed,

But because it induces serotonin from the brain,

Helps us reset.

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🤯 Space the final frontier

Thank 🙏 you
💫Jesse