The Happiness Equation

This is a special podcast where we interview Kishore, an engineer, ex-Googler and a seeker. His attempt at demystifying Vedanta and presenting Happiness and the quest for it in a 'scientific' /mathematical way is a series of articles – the first one is called The Happiness Equation found on Medium.

Transcript

Namaste,

Friends,

And welcome to this special podcast today.

Today we have Kishore Subramanian,

Who is VP of Engineering at a startup,

At an exciting startup.

He's an ex-Googler.

And the reason why I have invited Kishore for this podcast is that he's recently written a very interesting article.

And I'll let him talk about that.

But first of all,

Welcome,

Kishore,

To this podcast.

Thank you very much,

Rajesh.

And namaste,

Everyone.

I'm very happy to be here and share my thoughts and about the topic that I have written.

So it's interesting what I am intrigued by your article title.

Why did you call it the happiness equation?

Yeah.

Happiness,

If you see,

Is a very universal subject.

So even to the point that if we were to ask people to distill their entire life's purpose in one word,

I would say many of us would probably reply that to be,

I want to be happy.

So it is very important.

It is something that's so fundamental.

But yet,

We find ourselves in a situation where life is actually not always happy.

It's mostly,

In fact,

Dissatisfaction.

I wouldn't say unhappy,

But it is dissatisfaction.

So I set out to frame this problem,

Wearing my engineering hat on,

At least for the part of it,

Saying,

OK,

So when we look at happiness,

We always relate happiness to something along with the condition.

So I'm happy when something happens,

When I'm with somebody,

Or when a condition is met.

So I eventually go through and see,

Hey,

Is this equation good?

Is it true?

And then we see that over the period of the article,

The equation changes.

And finally,

I end up with the equation actually disappears.

And it ends up with,

I am happy.

So that's the whole story,

In short,

About the article.

Interesting.

I'm excited to learn more.

But tell me one thing.

Why did you choose this subject?

You were with Google,

And you have a strong pedigree in engineering.

And happiness has got nothing to do with engineering,

I thought.

But why did you choose this subject?

And for whom did you write this article for?

Right,

Good question there.

So I started going down the path of spirituality a few years ago,

I would say around four years ago.

And I realized that I'd gone in with a very open mind.

And as I went through it,

I realized that it's not what I had thought it to be.

Many of my preconceived notions about spirituality being a very dry subject,

May or may not be relevant,

And so on,

Actually got busted.

So it is a very vast subject.

It is true.

But if you look at it at the core,

It is about achieving lasting happiness.

And that's one way we could all make it relevant to us.

So I wanted to present spirituality in a different way,

In a more friendlier way than what it seems like.

It seems very daunting.

It seems like something.

It is not mainstream,

If you will.

So I wanted to see how can I connect what I'm learning to what is relevant to many of us.

If I may,

So I started looking at,

If you look at the popularity of apps like Calm and Headspace and all these meditation-related apps,

For instance,

I think that people are realizing that there is a need to pull away from all that stress that's happening today and to seek something else.

So I wanted to see how can we make this very relevant and in the same way.

And also to a younger audience,

Typically an audience,

They're not looking at spirituality as a way.

But at the same time,

There's a lot of suffering.

So is there a way to bridge the gap?

That's interesting.

So I heard you say that it is possible to achieve lasting happiness.

So is it really possible to achieve lasting happiness?

Yes,

And that's exactly what I am seeing.

So as I progress in my own small way in spirituality,

This is exactly what I am seeing.

So if you,

And the purpose of the article is also to share some of these insights.

So as we look at happiness,

We realize that the few moments we are happy,

When we acquire something and we have little or when we visit something,

When there is a situation,

Achieve something and whatnot,

We realize that it is not that exact thing that's causing that external object or situation that's actually giving us the happiness.

Those things don't have the power to give us happiness.

But it is what happens in our own mind when these things happen.

When we look at it very,

Very carefully and analyze it,

We realize that our mind becomes very fulfilled.

It becomes very satisfied.

And it is still,

At least for a certain period of time,

And that's when we experience happiness.

So as we go down that path,

There is a way in which we can achieve that lasting happiness and something that we can carry with us for the rest of our lives.

Interesting.

So when does this equation change?

And what exactly is the equation?

Right.

And we start with the equation being,

I'm happy when conditions are met.

As we analyze it,

We realize slowly that those conditions are not exactly the ones giving us happiness.

For instance,

If I get promoted,

I'm obviously going to be very happy,

Ecstatic,

In fact,

For a period of time.

But somebody else who may have been trying for the same promotion or the same role may be completely unhappy,

Devastated by the same action,

Same thing that has happened.

So it is not the promotion that is the reason for the happiness.

It is how I relate to it,

How I relate to it,

Isn't it?

So as we start analyzing it from that angle,

We realize that,

Hey,

Happiness is in my own hands.

It's in my mind.

So that's how the first part of the equation changes.

And then as we slowly go further,

We realize that,

Hey,

It's actually my own nature.

It's my own nature.

And that's what is reflecting in the happiness that I experience.

That's very interesting.

So you're saying the keys to the kingdom is within us.

Exactly.

Thank you.

That's a good way of putting it.

So tell me another thing,

Kishore.

How do you explain the fact that we do feel happy at times when we achieve something,

Or let's say our kids achieve something?

And you seem to say that the keys to the kingdom is within us.

Isn't that a contradiction?

No.

So the way we can see this in ourselves,

And we can see it play out in our own situations that we encounter,

When we experience happiness,

Our mind is in a state of complete satisfaction.

It is fulfilled.

So it's like a good example there is when we have eaten a good dinner.

We have eaten.

We were hungry earlier.

So we desired food.

We had that food.

And at the end of it,

We are very happy.

We feel very contented.

We don't want any more.

So even if somebody were to offer second servings and invites you for another dinner,

We're not going to do that.

Because we are very happy at that state.

So in the same way,

At the time when we achieve things or when these moments of happiness happens,

We feel fulfilled.

And in those times,

It is that fulfillment that is giving us that happiness.

OK.

So you're saying it's not the object or the experience,

But the fulfillment,

What we perceive in our mind uses the happiness.

Exactly.

So which means,

Can I be fulfilled even otherwise?

Does it have to depend on the external object?

Maybe not,

Right?

Can I disconnect that?

Can I feel fulfilled at all times?

I think the answer is yes.

And hence,

I can be happy or remain in the state of happiness for a lasting time.

This sounds very interesting,

Kishore.

But can you tell me,

What does the Bhagavad Gita say about this topic?

Bhagavad Gita,

Absolutely wonderful book,

Right?

There are so many things that we can take away from there.

And each time we learn,

We take away more and more things.

But that is one metaphor or a comparison that stood out for me in this particular case.

So think of a lake,

Right?

The comparison is that of a lake.

If the lake is muddy and dirty,

And there is a lot of wind,

And the surface is very wavy,

Right?

Imagine this lake,

And it's a full moon night,

Right?

Absolutely darkness,

And there's full moon night.

In spite of the moon being so beautiful,

It cannot reflect that moon.

It is distorted in the water because the surface is wavy,

And it's very dirty.

Now,

If the lake is pure,

Right?

The water is very pure,

And the surface is perfectly still.

The full moon is reflected on the surface in its full glory,

Right?

Bhagavad Gita says our happiness is in the same way,

Where the happiness,

Which is our real self,

Is able to reflect itself without distortion in our minds if our mind is very still and devoid of the impurities that we normally see.

OK.

So first,

You said the keys to the kingdom are within us,

And now you're saying that stillness is connected to the happiness,

The stillness of the mind.

Correct.

OK.

That's interesting.

And I encourage the readers to go and read the article to understand this concept a little better.

And I can tell you that you guys will be really impressed with what Kishore has written.

So Kishore,

A couple of more questions on the article that you wrote.

Does it mean that I shouldn't desire anything?

Because if the happiness is within me,

Can I not desire for a better life,

A better promotion,

Luxuries,

Like a great car,

Or whatever?

On the contrary,

On the contrary,

Once you go through this type of change and the change in attitude with which you will be working,

You will realize that you will be working out of that happiness,

Not for happiness anymore.

So you are already happy,

And the work that comes out is going to be of the highest or best in class,

If you will,

Rather than you working because you want to be happy.

You're already happy.

So I'm not saying that you shouldn't have desires.

You absolutely are welcome to do that.

But there is a change in attitude.

There's a change in certain things that you do and continue to pursue that.

And that's actually the subject of my next couple of parts,

Next two parts in the series.

Oh,

That's interesting.

So we should expect a sequel to this article.

And I'm pretty sure that you will be explaining it in an equation kind of a way so that we can unlock the key and unlock the key and enter the kingdom of happiness.

You can very much expect that.

I'm an engineer at heart and a very analytical mind.

So you can expect definitely a lot more analysis and looking at it from an engineering perspective as well.

Oh,

That would be wonderful.

So Kishore,

I think we're coming to the top of the hour in the interview.

Any concluding thoughts for the readers,

For the listeners?

Yeah.

I would also like to encourage the readers to take a good read at what Rajesh,

In fact,

Has written.

He's written a beautiful book called The Happiness Beyond Mind.

Very,

Very similar.

I and Rajesh have spoken about this topic.

And it's very beautifully written,

Very well-researched,

And based on a lot of experience.

So I would like you and encourage you to read that and get a copy of that book as well.

And analyze this.

Analyze this and see for ourselves,

Why can't we be happy all the time?

So I think the answer is there.

It is for us to spend that time and do that favor to ourselves.

So thank you so much for inviting.

Thank you,

Kishore.

Thank you,

Readers.

That was a soft plug for the book that I have written.

And thank you so much,

Kishore,

For taking time to talk to us,

To our readers.

And we are really looking forward to your part,

Too.

And I hope that you're going to publish it pretty soon.

Very soon.

Yeah.

Thank you so much again,

Rajesh.

It was my pleasure.

And thank you,

Audience.

Thank you so much.

OK.

Bye bye.

Reviews

Very interesting and thought provoking. Thank you.