Today's thought exercise is meant to help you reframe the way you approach your journey forward with your child.
It'll ease any exhaustion toward being in constant control of your child's daily life,
And it'll ease any self-doubt about whether you're doing enough or maybe too much.
This exercise can help to manage anxiety and to realize where you need to find balance in your parenting approach.
It will also help you to learn to release control in the areas of your parenting that you desire.
I'd like to start first by acknowledging the emotions swirling within you.
It's okay if you're feeling overwhelmed at the moment.
Just let these emotions rise to the surface and gently release them with each breath.
Allow each exhale to ease the intensity of what you're feeling.
If it is comfortable to do so,
Straighten your back and get your feet on the ground so that you can allow for deep inhales into the belly.
Inhale deeply,
And exhale through the mouth.
Inhale deep into the belly,
And exhale through the mouth.
One more time,
Inhale deeply into the belly,
And exhale through the mouth.
Good.
Gaining trust in your own parenting and learning to release some control may not all come at once or in large doses.
It can be very difficult to detach from feelings of fear and anxiety toward your parenting.
This is normal.
So,
I'd like to use an analogy that can help us see things differently.
And the analogy is of a bike with training wheels.
On a bike with training wheels,
There are smaller wheels on the side of the bike that don't quite touch the ground,
But that are always there for support.
So,
I like to think about it like this.
Imagine your child is riding a bike with training wheels.
You control the pedals,
The speed,
And the direction of the bike.
You are the training wheels on each side of their bike.
Those little wheels on each side that gently float above the ground alongside the main wheels.
You are always present,
Yet you are not fully supporting the bike at all times.
When your child loses balance slightly,
You are right there to get them back up on two wheels.
They'll fall on you when they can't do it alone,
And you get them right back up again and on two wheels when they're ready.
As they are back up again on two wheels,
You trust that they will stay on track,
But you are right there if they fall again.
This is letting go of full control and having confidence that they will get better with each time you help them up again.
Sometimes,
Your child may ride on three wheels much longer than other times,
Until they can regain their balance alone.
Every situation is different.
Sometimes,
They'll lean on you for merely a moment.
Other times,
It's a few moments longer.
What's important to know is that you are a tool for their success in riding alone on two wheels.
You are not the whole reason they can ride alone,
Because they do have some skills and autonomy to be riding the bike.
You can also be the helmet,
The knee pads,
And the elbow pads,
But you can't always be the whole bike.
And if right now,
You are realizing that you are the whole bike,
That's okay.
We all need to start somewhere.
Eventually,
You will want to become the accessories,
And not the two main wheels.
It's okay to be the helmet,
The elbow pads,
The knee pads,
And the training wheels.
And if one day,
The training wheels can come off,
And even if that's only on one type of terrain,
That would be a great outcome.
So your power now lies in your ability to recognize when you are being the whole bike,
And when you are being the training accessories.
On some terrain,
You may need to be the whole bike.
And on other terrain,
Where your child is more comfortable,
You may only need to be the training wheels.
With this in mind,
You can start to release some control,
And have more trust in the process,
With confidence that things will be okay.
Now,
In the future,
When something becomes too much for you to handle,
I want you to ask yourself if you are being the whole bike in this moment,
And if you need to be the whole bike.
If you don't need to be the whole bike in this moment,
How can you release some control,
So that you can become the training wheels instead?
I want to thank you for experiencing this thought exercise with me,
And I want to wish you all the best on your journey forward.
