Change Your Life Story Session 3

We all hold various stories about ourselves that we more or less believe. These narratives from the past have the power to define your present, thus creating ground for your future. In session 3 of 6 you will discuss your future plans and how to achieve them.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the third session of What's Your Story course.

And let's go straight to number one.

With this jingle I'd like to throw us directly into a practical session today.

Today is about creating a future,

A better future,

A future as you would like it to be.

And there's no one else but you who can do that and I would like to ask you if you're up for a short game to ask your question.

How would you like your future to be?

How would you like your future to be?

You can answer for yourself,

You can answer loud.

You're also very much welcome to write some insights about how you'd like your future to be into the comments to this course for us others to be able to read through that and maybe get inspired.

But take a little bit of time now if you want to use your pen you can do that or type it into your telephone on your laptop or whatever.

If you need more time than what you've been given now you can also pause this recording and when you're done with thinking about how you'd like your future to be you can just resume listening by pressing on play.

And now that you have reflected about how you'd like your future to be can you also reflect about how much of how your future will be is within your control?

How much of how your future will be is within your control?

No right or wrongs?

You can share your reflections with us in the comments section to the course if you want to.

Just keep the answer for yourself.

Question number three of this little workshop that we're having together.

What expectations regarding your future are you putting on yourself?

What expectations regarding your future are you putting on yourself?

Pause and play the recording if you want to if you need more time.

And the last question our crash course workshop is is there a difference between or a discrepancy let's say between the expectations that you're putting on yourself regarding your future and how much control you have of your future?

Is there a discrepancy between how much control you have over your future and the expectations that you're putting on yourself regarding your future?

Okay so you're very much welcome to share your reflections with us in the comments section of this course.

Once you're added you might also want to hit the donation button and maybe make a donation for the teacher of the course and also for the Insight Timer community.

Both being very grateful for the opportunity to develop both personally and as part of the community to provide a better new content in a better environment online environment in that case.

I think you might have already got a sense of how the attitude that you have towards the content that is coming to you that is being streamed to you from this course is kind of what attitude is is is making you more open for that and how to get in there and I think that if you feel for that we can together maybe just like take a few deep breaths now.

In through your nose and out through your mouth and again and the last one feel like you're releasing tension with your out breath so in through your nose out through your mouth.

If it feels good for you you're welcome to close your eyes for a moment get yourself into a position which is comfortable for you.

Might be sitting in your meditation posture sitting in a chair or an armchair.

I'd strongly encourage you not to lean backwards into the chair but more sit on the front edge of the chair so that you have to like support your spine yourself which keeps you alert open for new learnings insights so that you don't fall asleep you know you're not like slouching.

Let your breath do whatever it wants to do you don't have to control your breathing just let it take care of itself.

Yeah future if only we could know what the future holds for us.

If only we could know how to change the future or how to get ready for the future we want.

What we maybe don't think about that often is that the future is a result of what we're doing now.

So thinking about how you would like your future to be and what control you have over your future very often we would place our thoughts into the future and think about okay I'd like to earn more money let's say in a year's time so what do I do for that I need to probably take a course to increase my competence and maybe change a job.

So it's like thinking very much forward or like I'd like to you know have this great relationship which means that I'll probably have to get out of my comfort zone and go and like go into places I normally wouldn't go so like if you're not a party person maybe go to a party for a change and see if there's someone you can meet.

Which necessarily is not wrong but not much in the future will change without actually being able to see and discern but in a way what is happening right now.

And what is happening right now is of course a result of what happened in the past.

So now is a kind of aggregate of the past experiences we've done in our lives that in some way create our present what is happening now in the present moment which in its own turn is actually directly influencing what will happen in the future.

So how does that tie back to the topic of this course?

What's your story?

Well two times already we've spent the time together looking at how our experience in the moment is leading how we can like trace back to some stories and narratives experiences that we've made in the past which in its turn actually in their turn actually very much influence the experience in the moment.

And the two practical sessions that we've done about how the body sensations are related to the stories and narratives about ourselves and the world and then also the thoughts and feelings you remember the triangle thoughts feelings bodily sensations and these stories that you hold about yourself and the world are actually stories created from past experience but you are holding them now and the stories that you are holding about yourself and the world right now are actually contributing to how your future will be.

So it's like this story of you know we talked about maybe meeting someone interesting in the future that you might want to you know see or maybe like start dating or something but how do you change that in the future if your story now for example is I've always been lonely and I will most likely never change.

So now you know sitting standing or whatever you're doing just like and I'm not saying that this is your case but I'm just trying to offer an opportunity to identify the mechanics behind the stories and their influence on our lives so just drop this sentence into your body let it like dissolve in your body maybe through your head down to the body or like to your heart directly or stomach wherever it lands.

I've always been lonely.

I've always been lonely.

I've always been lonely.

How does it feel in your body?

What body sensations are coming up for you?

What feelings?

Sadness?

Solitude?

What thoughts?

Oh my god I'm a tragic person I'm a tragic case.

Now check it off and we'll try another sentence and let it let it land in your body I'll just drop it.

I feel lonely now.

I feel lonely now.

I feel lonely now.

How did this one feel?

Where did it land in your body?

Are there any body sensations?

Feelings?

Thoughts?

For me there is a huge difference in perceiving these two stories.

The story of I've always been lonely is actually putting me into this category of like really really tragic theatre pieces you know like this lost case.

I've always been lonely and it just like feels so difficult now and I will most probably never be able to get out of that loneliness.

It's kind of lost for me.

While I feel lonely now has a different vibe to it in my experience.

I'm not describing loneliness as a kind of part of my character as something that is inherent to me but it is an experience that I have now in this moment but it's not saying that I've always been like that and most importantly it's not saying that I will always be like that in the future.

Because experiencing this right now I feel lonely is also giving me the opportunity to just directly open my eyes and do something about it.

Are you getting this feeling of how the stories that we have created about ourselves the story that you are holding about yourself is influencing what will happen to you in the near and far future?

Because who knows if this small difference in the narrative I feel lonely now opening my eyes and texting a friend.

How that very very small difference in my behavior will have impacted my life in five years time.

I think I'll leave you with this until next time.

Please feel free to share your reflections about today's session in the comments to the course.

If you wish you might hit the donate button and send a donation to the teacher and the Insight Time community,

Developers and so on who make all this magic possible to happen.

You might as well want to go to my profile and click on that little bell icon to follow all the new updates that I'm posting on my profile including live sessions and I'm looking forward to meeting you in session number four which will again be about your story but I will ask a question of do you really need it in order to live your life.

Thank you and bye!