Managing Anxiety With Metta

Learning how to skillfully respond to the arising of feelings of anxiety in the heart.

The various benefits of the cultivation of Metta in this life and following lives.

Reading the words of the Buddha about consciously undertake things that are conducive to establishing and maintaining wellbeing, which will produce protective merit.

Navigating painful experiences with patient endurance and loving kindness to support the sharpening and development of mindfulness and samadhi.

Ajahn Achalo reflects on the fruits of practicing metta for decades.

Transcript

Greetings,

Everybody.

Nice to see you.

Some of your faces are familiar.

Some of you look new.

Nice to meet you.

I thought I would talk today on the subject of cultivation of metta,

Loving kindness.

I'm sure you've noticed that it seems that we are living in a geopolitically volatile time.

In recent weeks,

We've had the Chinese government showing us how many fabulous weapons they have.

And with a very beautiful and terrifying march with intercontinental ballistic missiles,

Atomic bombs that can be dropped from planes and underwater drones and lasers and any number of other things.

And unfortunately,

These days,

In the Middle East,

Also,

We never quite know who will be dropping bombs on who next.

And so we do hear this kind of news.

And with the geopolitical turbulence or volatility,

Of course,

Is the possibility of great economic shocks.

So we're living in a time of I think a lot of people probably feel anxious if they we also live in a time where we hear more news and see more news.

So this does affect us.

Generations ago,

People living in remote valleys in Chengdu,

For example,

Or in Tibet,

Might not hear about what happened in the other province until next year after winter.

These days,

We tend to hear about all of the worst things that happen in the world,

Moments after they happen.

And so this does affect us.

And I think it's important to be mindful that when we hear a lot of bad news,

It affects our well being.

So that can manifest just as a feeling of anxiety.

One of the things people can do when feeling anxious is then to dive into distraction.

They kind of don't look at that.

So binge on Netflix or YouTube scrolling or whatever,

Whatever people do these days to distract themselves.

And I think since we have our precious human opportunity,

And we've met the Buddha Dhamma,

We will be much more wise if we took our opportunity,

Used our spare time to do something skillful.

And so when we come to be aware of the breath,

If there is worry or anxiety in the mind,

The experience of trying to be with the breath can actually be a little bit unpleasant.

Come to sit,

And there's some unpleasant feelings there,

Some fear,

Some worry.

So this is when it's skillful to actually pick up a wholesome mind state and establish well being.

We pick up a wholesome mind state and establish well being,

You'll find that in general,

It's then much easier to be with the breath when the mind is happy.

So Lord Buddha did recommend cultivating loving kindness,

He praised it.

And I will read an excerpt from a sutra a bit later.

In one sutra he said,

He knew of no condition more conducive to heavenly rebirth than the cultivation of loving kindness.

Now that might not be everybody's aspiration to be reborn in heaven.

But the point is,

It makes very potent,

Very powerful good karma.

And if you don't want to be born in heaven,

If you do want to be born as a human being,

Again,

You probably want to be born in a part of the human realm,

Which is closer to heaven,

Than part of the human realm,

Which is closer to the demonic realms.

Because as we know,

The human world has a lot of different realities in it,

Somewhere between heaven and hell,

Depending,

Depending on how much merit you have.

So Lord Buddha encourages people to make merit.

And he also said,

Don't criticize people for making merit,

Because it is synonymous with happiness.

Whatever blessings,

Whatever abundance,

Whatever opportunity you have in your life,

Your current life,

That is the result of skillful things that you did in previous lives,

Or earlier in this life.

And that is the result of your so it's good to consciously undertake things that are conducive to establishing and maintaining well-being.

And also that will produce merit,

Because merit is protective.

Also,

Loving kindness is also protective.

So I think I'll just read,

Read the back these statements up with words of the Buddha,

Help you to have confidence in these things.

This is from the Ma Punyabai,

Ma Punyabai Sutta in the Itthivuttaka.

Thus have I heard,

Monks,

Don't be afraid to do deeds of merit.

This is a synonym for happiness,

That is desirable,

Pleasing,

Charming,

Dear,

And agreeable,

That is meritorious deeds.

Monks,

For I know well that for a long time,

I experienced desirable,

Pleasing,

Charming,

Dear and agreeable results from long performed meritorious deeds,

As a result of developing a mind of loving kindness for seven years.

I did not return to this world for seven eons of world destruction and forming.

Monks,

When the eon was ending,

I entered the Abhashara Brahma world.

And when the eon was forming,

I was born in an empty Brahma mansion.

There I was the Brahma,

The great Brahma,

The unconquered victor,

The all seeing one,

And the wielder of power.

36 times I was Saka,

Lord of the gods.

For many hundreds of times,

I was a wheel turning monarch,

A righteous king of Dhamma,

Conqueror of the four quarters of the earth,

Maintaining stable control over every kingdom,

And endowed with the seven treasures.

What need is there to speak of times when I was a local king?

Monks,

It occurred to me,

What actions of mine result in the fruit,

Result in now having such great power and might.

And monks,

It occurred to me,

This is the fruit of three types of actions.

The result of three types of actions that I now have such great power and might,

Giving self control and merit.

This is the meaning of what the Blessed One said.

So with regard to this,

It was said,

The one who wishes one's own long lasting happiness should develop deeds of merit,

Giving a balanced life,

And a mind of loving kindness.

Developing these three things,

That brings about great happiness.

The wise person is reborn in an untroubled,

Happy world.

So probably it was the case when the Buddha is talking about his past life as a Bodhisattva,

When he was abiding in loving kindness for much of seven years,

That would have been to the level of jhana,

He would have had metta absorption,

Most likely.

And he's,

Because the Bodhisattva has cultivated for a lot longer than most beings,

His loving kindness also would have had a lot of vast power,

Would have been very potent and powerful merit.

And then when he said that he cultivated for seven years,

He probably was for much of that seven years abiding in that,

In that state,

Many hours a day.

But even so,

Most people don't want to be Mahabrahma.

Most people don't want to be Sakka for 500 lives or whatever it was.

But the point is,

The point is to notice,

Lord Buddha is explaining that this particular cultivation,

This mind state,

Leads to the upper echelon of samsara.

It leads to the most pleasant,

Most safe places with the least coarse dukkha.

So I think we're all interested in being somewhere which is relatively safe,

And being somewhere that we have opportunities,

And being somewhere where we don't experience too much coarse sense impingement.

So this is where loving kindness is very useful.

There's another sutta,

The eight benefits of loving kindness.

And one of the benefits is for those who cultivate loving kindness,

The mind concentrates easily.

So most of us would like a peaceful mind.

Most of us would like when we come to sit,

To not have too much struggle.

So here Lord Buddha says plainly,

If you cultivate loving kindness,

Your mind will become concentrated easily.

So it's valuable,

Very valuable.

I will talk,

Recently I've been doing some writing.

Some of my students in Southeast Asia,

Some of my Malaysian students asked me to write a biography in English.

And in doing this,

Excuse me,

Recollecting the earlier parts of my monk life,

I was actually glad to do it,

Because it was a nice way of recollecting what my teachers taught me.

And it's kind of like sanghanusati,

But in a more kind of personal and intimate way.

Who were my teachers?

What did they teach me?

And there were a couple of occasions that I remembered with Tanajana nun in particular.

On one occasion,

I was staying in the jungle,

On the border of Burma.

I was going to be there for a three month period.

And something kind of painful was occurring in my meditation,

Very painful.

And this was giving rise to anxiety in my mind.

I didn't know it at the time,

But it was actually a positive development.

And,

But this is one of the things as Buddhist practitioners,

I want to talk about this a little bit more because it's not talked about very often.

Sometimes there can be an assumption that the more we meditate,

The happier we'll feel.

As if it's going to be just an upward trajectory,

Getting better and better and better,

Where we feel happier and happier and happier.

That's not always the case.

And if we're meditating correctly,

It can be the case that we notice dukkha more.

So if you have a mind which has become sensitized because of meditation,

And actually has more truth discerning awareness functioning in it,

There will be less delusion,

There'll be less dust in the eyes,

There'll be less ignorance.

And what will you see?

You'll see conditions according to their characteristics.

And what does Lord Buddha say about conditions?

Sabbe Sankara Dukkha.

All conditions are unsatisfactory,

Bound up with pain.

So I was having this experience when I was meditating in the jungle.

And I was quite confused because Ajahn Chah said,

Based on what Lord Buddha said,

If you want success in meditation,

Eat little,

Sleep little,

Talk little,

Meditate a lot.

I was doing that.

I was spending about 23 hours a day alone.

There was just one simple meal.

There was no one to talk to when I was there for those 22 hours.

But my mind had more and more pain in it.

It was my tremendous good fortune that Ajahn Anand came to that jungle on that occasion.

Luangpor Anand came into Samlak Songdao Dam.

This is 27 years ago.

At that time,

Luangpor was about 44.

And he was visiting his abbot in Kanchanaburi province.

And he decided to come into this hermitage in the jungle on the border of Burma.

It's about five hours drive from Kanchanaburi.

And he walked up the mountain,

Stayed in a kind of a tent,

Umbrella tent we call,

Glot,

With the forest monks staying on a bamboo bed.

And he came with five other monks.

And he said he would practice with these Thai monks for the first three days,

And then he would talk to the Western monks.

And there were three of them there at the time.

Three monks had come in earlier than the group from Wat Nanachat.

Often a group goes into that forest jungle area in March and April.

I'd gone in in February,

Along with Ajahn Sudanto.

And I was able to ask Tanah Jan,

What's going wrong?

Because I was wondering,

Is something wrong with my hardware?

How come when I meditate,

It doesn't work?

How come Ajahn Chah says,

If you do this,

This and this,

You'll be happy?

How come when I do it,

It's just pain?

And so what I was doing was,

Because I studied with Ajahn Sumedho in Amrawati,

Studied with him.

And I'd learned through practicing with Ajahn Sumedho,

How to make the awareness more vast,

More spacious,

Not be not be too willful,

Practicing with the sound of silence and more spacious awareness.

And so when this pain arose,

I just tried to make my mind more spacious.

And what happened was the pain then filled the space.

I made my mind more spacious,

And then the pain filled that space.

And no matter how spacious I could make my mind,

It was just pain.

And this was very confusing because,

Well,

First of all,

I was wondering where the peacefulness was.

But also,

Yeah,

Just what's going wrong?

How come for other people,

It seems to work?

But for me,

The more I meditate,

The more painful it gets.

And so the other thing that was confusing about it was I couldn't discern if it was an emotion,

If it was the ripening of a bad karma I'd done in the past,

That was just manifesting in the mind as painful feelings.

I didn't know what it was.

But it didn't feel like an emotion.

There were no thoughts associated with it.

But it was just pain and very painful.

So anyway,

Than Ajahn Anand came to the jungle,

And it was my good fortune that I was able to ask him what's going on.

And he said,

He said,

Actually,

Nothing is wrong.

This is probably progress.

What's happening is the sensitivity of the mind has increased before the equanimity.

It's as though you are in a house that's on fire.

And you're burning with it.

And then he said,

But it is true.

The house is on fire.

And now if we look at the fire sermon,

We can see what Lord Buddha says about this.

You know,

The eyes are burning,

The ears are burning,

The nose is burning,

The tongue is burning,

The body is burning,

The mind is burning,

With feelings that arise,

Say for some time and cease,

Burning with birth,

Aging and death,

Burning with association with the disliked separation from the light,

Etc.

But what Luang Por said was,

He felt similarly when he was a young monk.

And he said,

The only thing you can do now is patiently endure.

Don't make less effort,

Keep doing it,

Keep doing what you're doing and patiently endure.

Because by patiently enduring,

That's what's going to make the mindfulness sharper,

Stronger,

And the samadhi will develop.

So that in the future,

You'll be able to observe the house burning without burning with it.

And then he said,

But to support yourself in the process,

I recommend that you cultivate loving kindness.

Because in doing that,

You pick up a pleasant emotion.

And so I probably like a lot of modern people,

In the beginning,

Had quite a bit of resistance to cultivating metta.

Because you have to start with yourself.

And I think a lot of people have a kind of a withholding,

Some issues with judgment of self,

Some self loathing.

So it's not like something we want to do.

So a lot of modern people don't want to place their awareness there,

And aim goodwill inwards.

Because we have other habits quite deeply established,

We'd rather find faults with ourselves,

And find faults with the world,

And find faults with everyone else.

But that is painful.

And so Luangpor Nan said,

For the first five or 10 minutes of every single meditation,

Cultivate loving kindness to yourself.

Hold it in your heart area.

Just bring that warm pleasant feeling and keeping in mind that Lord Buddha calls it a divine abiding,

A sublime abiding,

A Brahma vihara.

So when Lord Buddha recommends something,

When a wonderful monk like Ajahn Anan recommends something,

Then we should pay attention.

Luangpor Nan said,

After you spread loving,

Once you establish loving kindness in your own heart area for yourself,

Then he said,

You can spread loving kindness to me,

If you want to spread loving kindness to your teacher.

And I'm kind of like,

Ajahn Anan doesn't need my metta,

My kind of puny,

What does he want?

My puny metta when he's got vast boundless metta already.

But the point is,

It's like,

How do you get your metta to really flow?

Is that you bring to mind someone who has a lot.

And you bring to mind someone for whom it's easy to feel metta for.

It's like a tuning fork.

So bring to mind your teacher,

Someone who has a lot of metta,

Someone who you do love.

May they,

Breathing in me,

I be well,

May breathing out me,

May this monk be.

And the other thing is,

When you have loving kindness for one of your teachers,

It actually makes you more receptive to their blessings when they share merit.

And when they share metta,

When they spread their metta,

It makes you more receptive.

If you've inclined your mind with loving kindness towards them,

You're kind of making yourself receptive to their blessings.

And then of course,

We move on to neutral beings,

And eventually difficult beings,

And eventually all beings.

But this was extremely helpful.

At that time,

I was going to have to be in the jungle for 10 more weeks,

Spending 23 hours alone.

And so Ajahn Anan turned up just at the right time to give me this advice that helped me get through,

And supported me in the process of,

You know,

Bringing a little bit of coolness into your heart,

While you're patiently enduring with being in a burning house.

I asked Tanah Jan at that time,

If I could come and train with him.

It was the tradition at Wat Forest Monastery,

For our second rainy season retreat,

To spend it in a Thai monastery,

Go and practice some Thai,

And meet some Thai Ajahns.

So I'd met Tanah Jan already,

He gave me advice that seemed to make very good sense,

And was very helpful.

So then I thought,

Okay,

I'm going to go and stay with Tanah Jan.

But then,

In those days,

Tanah Jan's monastery,

There was one other Western monk,

Tanah Jan Kalyanu.

At the time,

Ajahn Kalyanu was studying the Abhidhamma,

He was going to sit the test,

The exam,

So he was keeping to himself.

So,

But no one else spoke any English,

And I didn't speak much Thai.

So then I ended up with a different kind of a challenge.

And,

You know,

Even our teachers give good advice,

They have to keep giving the good advice,

Because we can forget.

So I remember I was particularly frustrated at the chore times.

In those days,

The cloths,

At those days,

We'd do the chores as a group.

And there was a different cloth for the floor,

For the windows,

For the furniture,

For the shrine,

And it was all written in Thai.

And the Thai monks wouldn't tell me which cloth.

But what would happen is I'd take the take a cloth and start doing some,

And then someone tell me it was the wrong one.

And then I'm like,

Okay,

They wait for me to get it wrong,

And then scold me,

But they weren't saying,

Nobody helped me get the right one.

And the other thing that used to really annoy me was the way they sweep leaves.

So we'd sweep the leaves as a group around an area called the Sala Bodhinyana,

And then all the way down the road,

And then around the Sala Ho Chan,

The eating Sala.

They sweep the leaves in a manner where there couldn't be a single leaf left.

So sweep,

Sweep,

Sweep,

Sweep,

Sweep,

Sweep,

Sweep.

And my frustration with this was that if we swept the leaves in a manner so that there were just a few left,

It would take half the time.

But when you sweep it so that there's not a single leaf left,

It takes twice as long.

Now understand that the monastery is in a forest.

So as soon as you get to the other side of the hall where you've swept,

The leaves are falling anyway.

So my Western mind,

Wanting to be practical,

Wanting to be sensible,

Wanting to be efficient with time,

Was like,

Let's just do a rough sweep,

Get 95% of the leaves,

It'll take half the time.

And no,

We had to sweep,

Sweep,

Sweep,

Poking away at this,

These little stones and sweeping up every single leaf.

And by the time at the end of the chores,

Sometimes I could get really angry,

Like stabbing away at these leaves.

And one day I was just like,

Ah,

Sick of it.

And so I decided not to have tea.

And I was kind of stomping up the mountain to go and meditate.

And Tanuja Nan,

Interestingly enough,

Now Wat Map Chani in those days only had about 18 monks.

And the Uposatha Hall wasn't built,

The Chedi wasn't built.

And so I was stomping up the mountain by myself.

And Arjuna Nan was waiting in the middle of the road,

Interestingly enough.

And I fell to my knees.

And I should mention that I'd been practicing very hard,

And I had been getting some good results.

But what was happening was the next day,

I could get this quite grumpy.

So again,

I was confused.

How come I'm peaceful last night?

And then today,

I have this dark mood,

And there's a lot of fault finding.

And so I was confused about that.

But basically,

I was as a two panca monk,

I wanted jhanas by the end of the week,

You know,

Maybe next week.

Because I was practicing very hard and already been to the jungle,

Been to the jungle twice,

Done my novice panca,

First bhikkhu panca,

Second bhikkhu panca,

Wanted to be like Arjuna Nan,

You know,

One of the amazing samadhi.

I wanted to see devas,

I wanted to see past lives,

I was going to get it all together.

But you're going to get it together with a lot of willfulness and a big sense of self,

Right?

Because that's what we start with.

And so I fell to my knees,

And I said,

Dhananjan,

When will it ever get any better?

And he was supposed to say,

Yeah,

Next week,

Maybe two weeks,

You'll have a breakthrough.

That's not what he said.

What he said was,

In five years,

It'll be a little bit better.

And I was kind of,

I kind of felt like this balloon that kind of went,

Like,

What?

And then he said,

In seven years,

It'll be even better.

I'm like,

Oh,

Dear.

And I'm looking back at that when I was writing about it and recollecting this occasion.

And it's a,

It's a,

It's a perfect teaching.

And it's like,

It is going to get better.

But not,

Not in your timeframe.

And you need to adjust your level of expectation and work on a bit more patience.

So that's the kind of teaching is like,

And then he said,

You're actually trying too hard,

Achalo.

You rather than be this willful,

And this determined in Thai,

The saying is,

Rather than practicing,

You have to practice,

You have to practice the right amount,

Consistently,

For a long period of time.

That's what will get the results.

And then he said,

Again,

Don't forget the first five to 10 minutes of every meditation,

Loving kindness for you,

And then for your Ajahn,

And then for your teachers,

And then for all beings,

Every single meditation,

Achalo,

Five to 10 minutes of metta.

And I could see why,

Because I was falling into these very spacious,

Peaceful mind states sometimes.

But then when the mind fell into a dark mood,

There was a lot of energy there.

Than Ajahn said,

It's as though there's this big bucket of water with some silt at the bottom.

Normally,

The water is quite clear.

But when you practice with this much determination,

And this much willfulness,

And this much impatience,

It's like you take a really big stick,

And you whack the bucket to the side.

And you can get some short term peaceful results.

But you stir up all this silt from the bottom.

And your determination,

Your willfulness,

Then goes into aversion and irritation.

So make sure you establish the tuning fork of metta first.

Make sure you're coming from a warm,

Loving.

Because part of it is,

When we start with a lot of willfulness,

Part of it is,

We hate our suffering.

And we want to blame others for our suffering.

And so,

And this is just a normal habit of worldly beings.

And so we have to put something else in there.

We have to put loving kindness,

Loving acceptance,

Patience,

Tolerance,

Keep dropping this in the mind,

So that that becomes the attitude that we meditate with.

And so once again,

I was just looking back on those two occasions where Than Ajahn reminded me,

Five to ten minutes every sit.

And the thing is,

It did work.

The first time it worked in helping me to just be with that pain.

The other thing that was interesting is,

When I was meditating on aware of dukkha characteristic,

And just seeing a lot of pain,

When I stopped judging it,

And not wanting it to be something else,

As Luang Por Nan said,

Patiently endure with it.

To be patient.

And when Luang Por Nan explained that,

By being patient,

The mindfulness will get stronger.

So then you say,

Okay,

There's a value to being patient.

I don't have to be contentious with this.

I don't have to have aversion to this.

I don't have to worry about this.

I just have to be with this.

And if I keep doing that,

It'll get better.

And it really did help to kind of drop the worry,

The doubt,

The aversion,

The contentiousness.

Similarly,

When living in community,

If you really do meditate for five or ten minutes at the beginning of every session,

If someone around you does something that you might normally perceive as irritating or annoying,

Hurtful,

If you keep on generating this metta,

Then there's some kind of space between the perception and the reactivity,

Because you're cultivating a new habit.

You're being loving,

Patient,

And accepting of your own painful mind states.

So when someone else does something annoying,

You can be loving,

Patient,

And with them as well.

And so,

Over a period of years,

I can really see that that advice became something quite powerful.

That five or ten minutes of metta,

Four or five times a day for 20-30 years,

Becomes some pretty powerful metta.

It becomes like that's the normal,

Habitual,

Automatic response now,

Is to have metta.

And someone would have to go out of their way to do something quite irritating or annoying to make me get upset.

So I can see,

It's like drops in a bucket.

And later in my life,

When I went to practice under the Bodhi tree in Bodh Gaya,

For many hours a day,

Many weeks at a time,

There's any number of potentially irritating phenomenon.

People having arguments behind you,

Fake monks selling Bodhi trees,

Giving precepts to people who didn't ask for them,

All sorts of things.

But because I'd already worked for 10 years on cultivating metta,

It's possible to be near someone or right next to something that one could be justified in being irritated or displeased.

But one has a choice.

You don't have to be irritated.

You don't have to be displeased.

Spread loving kindness to yourself and to this person,

Rather than being irritated or annoyed.

And just kind of also reviewing kind of the decades of my practice,

See that some of the things that were really difficult,

When I look back on now,

I can see the way I benefited.

So practicing in the jungle.

So I went back to that jungle retreat area another six times.

I did seven,

Two to three month retreats in this jungle.

What people don't realize is that jungles,

We have this idea of practicing in the forest,

Meditation monk,

You think it's peaceful,

Like a redwood forest in North America or pine forest in the Himalayas.

Jungles in Southeast Asia are noisy places.

So you have these cicadas all throughout the day,

Gibbons in the morning,

Hornbills flapping their prehistoric wings into trees,

Giant bamboo that makes big exploding noises when the temperature changes,

Branches falling and particular birds that will cry out.

Every time a branch fall,

There's a particular bird that will make a particular noise when the branch falls.

And at night,

They change shifts.

At night,

It's like the crickets and the nighttime birds.

That's all throughout the day.

There's this orchestra of forest noises.

But then practicing with noise,

When again,

When I went to practice in India,

This group chanting Vietnamese,

This group chanting Burmese,

This group chanting Cambodian,

This group chanting Thai,

All at the same time.

It's like when irritation starts to come up,

I could say to myself,

Well,

What's the difference between that and a cricket and a cicada and a bird?

It's like,

Similarly,

When I was practicing at Wat Marjana Jananan Monastery,

The whole time I have known him,

His monastery has been expanding and being built.

So practicing in the forest monastery in the 2000s means the sound of delivery trucks,

The sound of grinding ceramic tiles,

The sound of grinding metal bars.

That's the backdrop sound in the forest monasteries.

There's been periods,

Plenty of periods in my own monastery where building noise has been the backdrop.

And so training to be meditating,

Lompocha says,

People,

Somebody came to complain to Lompocha,

There's a lot of noise,

It's annoying.

Lompocha said,

Don't annoy the noise.

It's a,

We,

We go and pick it up and we,

We,

But we get bothered about it.

It doesn't bother us.

And so by the time I started doing intensive meditation retreats under the Bodhi tree,

I'd already meditated with cicadas,

Crickets,

Birds,

Gibbons,

Grinding ceramics,

Grinding metal delivery trucks.

And so it was like,

Okay,

I can do this.

I can do this.

It's just hearing,

Hearing.

And,

But the metta gives you something to do.

If the mind does start to go into irritation,

Breathing in,

May I be well,

Breathing out,

May I be happy.

We just get skilled at picking it up more quickly.

As soon as you notice,

Okay,

There's a potential to be irritated.

It's a potential to get upset.

Breathing in,

May I be well,

Breathing out,

May I be happy.

And you put something pleasant in there and it skillfully distracts the mind from picking up the irritation and aversion.

So it becomes like a walking staff that supports you in your cultivation.

So Ajahn Anand has said that cultivating loving kindness is a tremendous support to the cultivation of,

Of mindfulness.

And as Lord Buddha says,

Those who have loving kindness,

Their mind becomes peaceful easily.

In a time when,

As I was mentioning,

The world is volatile,

The potential for there being bad news every day is there.

So then the question is,

What do we do to support ourselves through that?

What do we do so that it doesn't cause excessive anxiety?

What do we do that we,

So that we have well-being?

And then that's what I just wanted to mention,

That in my doing five to 10 minutes of Metta loving kindness meditation in every single meditation set,

Then there is a fairly resilient well-being that does manifest in the mind.

And the awareness,

Loving kindness meditation will make you a bit more sensitive in your heart,

And that can have pros and cons.

One of the benefits is when you notice that you're about to suffer,

You notice that you are suffering,

You notice it quicker,

And then you can go to your Metta Bhavana straight away.

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be well,

May I be happy.

If you come to sit and you are upset about something,

Once you're skilled at Metta,

You can use the Metta to wash out whatever the suffering is,

Whatever the sad emotion,

Whatever the reaction,

You use that Metta to just wash it out of the mind.

If you're upset about something,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

Until all that is in the mind is the Metta well-being,

Pleasant feelings,

Divine abiding.

And then once you've established that,

Giving the attention to the breath,

Knowing the breath in more clear detail,

More refined detail,

And then the mind can become peaceful.

So I wanted to speak of the benefits of loving kindness meditation,

Give some examples from my own life,

And encourage you that it is possible,

Even in trying times,

That you can support yourself and continue to grow.

We have this very powerful tool recommended to us by the Buddha and the Arahants.

So I wish you every success in your cultivation.

I hope something I said was helpful to you.

Thank you so much,

Tana-Chan.

You're welcome.

Thank you,

Tana-Chan.

That was really very beautiful.

We'd like to now open up the floor for questions and answers.

For those who are here in this Zoom session,

Feel free to click on the raise hand button.

It is a button under the reactions button that you see on the panel.

And then we'll invite you to unmute.

I'll kick off with the first question first,

Tana-Chan.

Okay.

So Tana-Chan,

In your experience,

How can we cultivate compassion that is steady and wise?

A compassionate cultivation is slightly different from a metta cultivation.

And how do we care deeply,

Even though we're very overwhelmed by the suffering?

Yeah,

So good question.

Thank you.

So I think this is where the metta,

I think the four brahmaviharas,

They're like a package.

For them to really be strong,

We need all of them.

So I think this thing about the metta,

If you have strong capacity to hold loving kindness in your mind,

Then that's going to help you be okay when you open your heart with compassion.

So the near enemy to compassion is feeling affected by the pain,

Like personal distress.

So if when you cultivate compassion,

You feel personal distress,

That's not yet pure compassion.

Pure compassion is just this beautiful,

Cool energy that really wishes freedom from suffering.

And if we're possible,

Capable of doing something to help somebody not have suffering,

We will do it.

But feeling personal distress is not compassion.

So compassion is aware of the suffering,

Wants to do something about it,

But it doesn't take it on in personally.

It radiates compassion outwards.

So if we find that the mind is going into a somewhat traumatized state or distressed,

Then we need to pick up the metta meditation for ourself and make sure the metta is really strong before we move on to cultivating compassion again.

That's linked also to equanimity.

And one of the most important things that makes equanimity possible is understanding the law of karma.

So a lot of the things that can affect our compassion and make us not have pure compassion is when we start having opinions like,

They shouldn't have done that,

It shouldn't be like this,

This isn't right.

When there's commentary and aversion in the commentary,

That's also not pure compassion.

We get self-righteousness,

Big self.

So that's not compassion.

So compassion is caring.

Compassion is doing something if you can.

But if you find the mind starts to fall into a negative state,

Then you have to come back to,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be well,

May I be happy.

And then you re-establish that goodwill.

And then for pure compassion,

We also don't pick sides.

This is hard.

We tend to think in terms of innocent victims and terrible perpetrators.

And actually that's not true either,

If we really understand compassion.

And if we really understand the nature of a mind that is defiled,

That is acting on its defilements,

That mind in that moment.

So the person who we might see as a perpetrator,

A horrible person,

That person is suffering in that moment while they're causing harm to somebody.

And so we have to,

In pure compassion,

We understand the person whose mind is affected by negative qualities,

Who's acting on that,

Is suffering in that moment,

Even as they cause the other person emotional and physical distress.

We also have to understand that the person experiencing emotional and physical distress probably treated other beings just like they're being treated.

And now it's coming around again.

So it's like,

You know,

Wisdom,

We have to have wisdom,

We have to have skillful view,

To truly cultivate pure compassion,

And understanding the law of karma.

Of course,

A certain amount of Samadhi is very important.

This is why we need to have good breath meditation,

Good metta meditation,

Because Samadhi is also an important component of equanimity,

Being able to hold some equilibrium,

Being able,

Tanhajan says all the time,

Keep the mind in the middle,

Not falling into liking and disliking,

Keep the mind in the middle.

And so being with our breath meditation,

Making sure there's some stability,

And then making sure we have the intention of loving kindness.

And then we try to cultivate compassion for all beings,

Not choosing,

We try to aim for impartial compassion.

But it is recommended that we that we kind of go in baby steps.

So we have compassion for the person for whom it's easy to have compassion for first.

And then once we really get a sense for what real compassion is,

What pure compassion is,

We include more beings.

Yeah,

So how do we have consistent and stable compassion?

Well,

That's the result of,

I don't know,

A decade of practice.

But we just we go at our own pace,

And we do the best we can.

Thank you so much,

Tanhajan.

So there are a few typewritten questions here.

Please allow me to read it out to you.

Okay.

One of them is from Lai San.

Tanhajan,

Just now when I was wishing someone who is a family member who is suffering,

Well and happy,

My heart felt heavy.

Is this normal?

I admit.

Tell me again,

Please.

The heart felt what?

The heart felt heavy.

Yes.

Okay.

It's just normal.

I admit I'm rather sensitive to the person's suffering.

Thank you.

So one of the things I've learned over the years is try not to send the mind to the person.

Don't send the mind out.

What you want to do is visualize them in front of you.

And you're still aware of your in-breath,

And you're still aware of your out-breath.

So you still have this body-based mindfulness.

And then you spread loving-kindness to that person.

You bring them to you,

But you stay within the parameters of your body and see them smiling in front of you.

I had that experience in the past.

I used to spread loving-kindness,

Send my mind out to the person,

And it would pick up the emotion and come back with the person's emotions.

And that's not actually helpful.

If a person's got really powerful metta,

Really powerful compassion,

They can just,

Okay,

Take on a bit of someone else's suffering and wash it out of their mind quickly.

For people in the beginning or intermediate stages,

You can pick up a person's emotion and take it on.

And then that can slow you down.

I'll give another example that illustrates this.

Another occasion when I was sweeping leaves and I was upset,

And I remember I was like,

Why is it like this?

And I was really hot.

And I noticed that my face was smiling involuntarily,

And that my body and mind felt light and bright,

And there was just no suffering.

And then I saw Arjuna Nun walking by the corner of my eye.

And I asked him the next day,

Did you do something at leaf sweeping time yesterday?

You see,

I did.

And he showed,

He did body language,

He did this.

He said,

I knocked your mind state out of your mind with my loving-kindness,

Because I wanted you to see that it is actually possible to sweep leaves and not be miserable.

Then I asked him,

Could you do that every day,

Please?

And he said,

No,

No,

You have to learn to do it yourself.

But I did it for you once,

So that you could see that it's possible to be in that body and sweeping those leaves and not be suffering that much.

But his point was,

If your mentor is,

Or your compassion is powerful enough,

It can knock the suffering out of a person's mind.

Don't have to take it on.

And he said,

This is a more efficient way than,

I know there is a Tibetan teaching of Tonglen,

Where people breathe in the suffering of another and give away their happiness.

But to my understanding,

That was a teaching that was taught traditionally to very developed practitioners who were ready to do that.

They had the Samadhi,

They were capable of like burning it up in an instant in their own,

The purity of their own Samadhi.

For people who don't have that,

If a sensitive mind with some compassion,

You send it out to someone,

You can actually pick up their suffering,

But you're not yet skilled enough to drop it straight away or transform it into something else.

So Lomponan says it's more efficient to have a lot of metta here and radiate that out.

And then that will ameliorate their suffering to some degree.

So.

Thank you.

I'd like to invite Alan from the UK to please unmute yourself.

Yeah,

Thank you.

Can you hear me OK?

I can hear Alan.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Thanks Sajan for the talk.

It's really insightful.

I'll just share a little bit of context and then I'll ask the question if that's OK.

So just to be just to be honest,

I have practiced the metta practice that you described,

You know,

Love and kindness to yourself and others and neutral people in the past.

And I've tended to find it quite mechanical.

And and therefore I haven't practiced it much over the years.

And you described it in your own experience,

You know,

When you were in Burma about feeling difficult sensations,

Et cetera.

So what I've tended to do is if I if I'm,

You know,

Throughout the day or informal meditation practice,

If I'm if I sense a difficult emotion,

Maybe something like fear or anxiety comes up or anger is I tend to just,

You know,

I'll feel that sensation in the body,

Allow it,

Be with it,

Just sit with it.

And then obviously sometimes,

You know,

As in relation to impermanence,

It arises,

It falls,

And sometimes it stays a while and then sometimes it will just go.

And then because so that's in essence how I've sort of it's like an acceptance.

It's a metta in itself of being with or being having compassion to what's arising.

Is is that in its in its essence similar to a metta style of practice?

And when when would you would is that in itself useful or skillful as an alternative to the practice that you described in today's talk of,

You know?

Yeah.

So I understand what you're saying.

Yeah.

So the context that I was talking about is in a world where the likelihood of hearing bad news that gives rise to a sense of anxiety is increasing,

Then loving kindness is going to become more important to a lot of people.

If if in your in your life,

That practice is working for you,

Just the mindful awareness of being mindful of things allowing to arise,

Stay for some time and cease,

According to its nature,

That's fine.

And it's probably a bit more of the equanimity Brahmavihara,

Which is a divine abiding.

So it's like,

We're working more with not contending with it,

Not trying to do anything with it,

Just knowing its nature,

Allowing it to arise,

Stay for some time and see.

So these,

These Brahmaviharas balance each other.

The point is,

However,

Though,

If there's a particular sticky mind state or a heavy mind state that's kind of not going away,

And a challenge,

Then the point is,

We do have this skillful means that we can pick up,

That will speed up the process of helping the mind to let go of it.

It's actually called replacing by opposites.

So if there is anxiety,

If there is anger,

If there is worry,

Anything that falls in the five hindrances,

Then you pick up metta,

And it naturally falls away.

Some and sometimes,

Sometimes you do five or 10 minutes of metta and that,

That stuff will still be there,

But not as powerful.

It's,

It's,

It's because you haven't been feeding it,

You've been thinking about something else,

You've been doing something else,

It doesn't have the same power that it might have had if you didn't do the metta.

But yeah,

I do think there's a lot of value to just that broad,

Clear,

Knowing that those things,

The nature,

The feeling and allows it to cease of its own accord.

But you can also do that after five minutes of metta,

Right?

So whatever,

Whatever's there after that,

If anything lingering mind states any hindrances,

Then we that's what we do after the metta as well.

Okay.

Many facts.

That's really helpful.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Malika Malika,

You have your hand up.

Malika?

Yes.

Oh,

Nice to meet you,

Ajahn.

I'm a friend.

Yeah.

I'm a friend of Mechi Emily.

Oh,

Good.

And today,

Two of your friends came,

Anton and Sonia to Dhamma Giri today.

Okay.

You met them,

My good Dhamma friends?

Yes,

Yes.

That's how they told,

You know,

They know you very well.

Ajahn,

My question is like with all these wars and things going around,

How is it,

How can we,

We think that we have equanimity towards what's happening,

But then at the same time,

You would think,

Oh,

Is it indifference when you don't want to watch all these news and then,

But I just feel the only thing you can do is send metta to them.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So indifference is the near enemy to equanimity.

And so,

Yeah,

But it's,

I just think,

Yeah,

I agree.

Largely,

I agree that making your mind as peaceful and bright and wholesome as you can and then sharing merit is actually a really skillful thing to do.

And if enough people do that,

It actually lessens the chances of there being wars,

Where it makes them less horrible,

Because the amount of merit in the world is more.

So the amount of merit in the world is what protects the world from wars,

Famines and things.

And we have a kind of an individual karma and then there's also a group karma.

So it is skillful to,

Rather than watch the news,

Go and meditate and share merit with,

But we can be specific,

You know,

Share merit with all human beings now,

Share merit with those beings in that war zone.

We can make wishes that the war doesn't get worse or that it is over quickly.

But yeah,

We have to be mindful of how much news we consume and,

You know,

I'm a monk in the forest and any big drama happening in the world,

I still hear about it.

I mean,

I do check news for a few minutes each day,

But if I don't,

If something horrible happens,

Someone else will tell me about it.

So it's not like if you don't watch the evening news,

You won't know about it.

Someone will tell you.

But a little bit of indifference is probably better than feeling overwhelmed.

So kind of protecting your well-being and not giving a lot of attention to things that cause distress,

I think is okay.

In a way,

We have to be mindful.

If we're born in a situation that's relatively safe and we have good opportunities,

But then we watch something and then we get really,

Really upset.

It's like we're taking on the karma of those other beings,

Which isn't,

It's an optional thing.

We don't have to be upset about that thing,

But we're choosing to be.

And so we have to be honest about how much time and energy that wastes and if it's useful.

So if you watch every bad story and you get upset about everything,

Then you're not actually using your current human opportunity to make your mind bright and happy and produce merit and then share that merit.

It's kind of an obstacle,

Potentially.

So I think monitoring and keeping the news to a digestible,

Sensible amount and really using your opportunity that you have now,

Really making sure you benefit yourself as much as you can,

Because we don't know how bad it's going to get.

And we don't know what day it knocks on our door,

If it gets really bad.

So we need to do whatever we can to buoy our mind and cultivate resilience and maintain wellbeing.

And,

But that also does help all beings.

It helps the,

The overall kind of humans group karma.

When we make our mind bright and we share merit with all beings that also,

It does contribute something.

Yeah.

Thank you,

Ajahn.

And then I'm so grateful that during COVID time,

I made pledges with you for during Vassa and I kept it up to,

Still I'm keeping that.

Thank you,

Malita.

Thank you,

Bita.

Thank you.

We have friends from India,

Nita and Saket.

Could you unmute yourself?

Yes.

Great.

Good evening,

Ajahn.

Thank you so much for this wonderful talk.

Nice to meet you.

Likewise,

Ajahn.

Nice to meet you too.

Am I audible?

I can hear you.

Yes.

Okay.

Well,

This is my favorite topic of loving kindness.

So I'm so glad that I'm attending this Zoom session.

Thank you so much.

I have one question.

So regarding,

You know,

When somebody,

Somebody's action upsets me and I'm like having ill will towards that person or whatever,

Maybe towards myself also.

At that time,

Who should I give loving kindness?

Should I just give it to myself,

To that person,

Alternate between the two?

How should I go about it?

Yeah.

So start with yourself.

The one of the one.

So what I think is really helpful is go directly to the feeling,

Go to the heart and train yourself that when you're having an irritated or angry,

Aversive response,

You're suffering.

And so when you notice that this reaction is causing you suffering in that moment,

You're among sentient beings,

A being that has suffering.

So at that point,

May I be well,

May I be happy,

May I be well,

May I be happy.

And something that can be helpful,

Something that I do,

Because if you think of the person and they've done something that,

That you had a reaction to,

You're upset by,

If you then go and think of that person again,

Then you can think about what they did and it can trigger another reaction.

So one thing that I find is quite efficient is that at the end of my metta meditation,

If I've reestablished loving kindness for myself,

Then I dedicate merit to them just for a couple of seconds.

I share the merit of this practice to so-and-so,

But then don't think about,

Don't think about them much,

Just kind of like throw that merit at them.

Here,

You take this and then,

And it's like,

It's something that isn't contentiousness and reactivity and grudge,

You know,

It's a little bit of bright light that you're throwing in that direction.

And then go and do something else.

Try not to think of it because,

And then,

You know,

Probably if you have to see them again,

You know,

You're going to have to bring some mindfulness to the situation.

But yeah,

I think establishing metta for oneself and sharing merit with that person,

Because that's like,

You're not closing the heart off to the person,

You're still,

You're still trying to benefit them,

But you don't have to think about them for too long.

It's just a couple of moments,

Send the merit their way,

And then,

Then go and do something else.

I find that quite helpful.

And then when you see them,

There's this kind of awareness that you shared merit with them last night,

You know,

It's like 10 times since the last time you saw them,

It actually is bringing something else into the relationship as well.

So,

And it,

You know,

It might affect the dynamic,

If the,

If the merit is potent enough.

This is a good practice,

I'm definitely going to try this.

Thank you so much.

Yes,

You come with a good review by Mr.

Jacinto.

I mean,

Today we booked our tickets to broadcast,

So we are really looking forward to that.

Okay,

Looks forward to seeing you.

Medha Jan,

We have a couple of questions that typewritten,

Do we still have some time?

Unfortunately,

I actually have to go,

You know,

I've come,

It's actually Lompo Ophath's,

What they call Why Crew Day,

A day that you pay respects to the teacher.

Teacher's Day,

Right.

And so Lompo Anan called me yesterday and instructed me that I should come.

So I'm,

I'm here.

And yeah,

We have a ceremony that we need to go to.

Okay,

So I'll be meeting Lompo Anan in a few minutes.

Okay,

We shall end now.

Oh,

Thank you.

Lovely to spend time with you.

I rejoice in your practice.

I wish you every success in your

Reviews

I get so much from your talks… Thank you. At the beginning of your talk, you mentioned that there are many things going on in our world, and you also mentioned how we didn’t used to have access to instant news relating information about every corner of the world

as a student of history, there has always been challenging events happening in our world, whether it was war, natural, disasters, or heartbreaking loss of life. And at least in the US, the news is geared for fear. My nervous system isn’t supposed to know about every problem on planet Earth. I appreciate how watching less news and more loving kindness meditations, bring balance to my nervous system, which is already very sensitive. Namaste.🙏🦋🩵🙏🦋🩵

Thank you so much, very helpful ✨