14 words to finding your power.
How I relate to myself when I go through the issue is the issue.
How I relate to myself when I go through the issue is the issue.
I came across a post this week from someone listing the painful and insane actions of a politician in the United States.
The more I went down the list of the things that this person had said and done,
The more I felt angry and sad,
Powerless and victimized.
By the end,
My feelings of hopelessness were so intense,
Ending it all really looked good.
Mercifully,
A higher version of myself stepped in and said,
Whoa,
Whoa,
Step back from the edge,
My dear.
The solution is not down there.
I realized I had just had another experience of my thoughts creating reality,
A reality in which I was a victim.
When the going gets tough,
Victimhood can be a persona that's very easy to take on.
Victimhood is a powerful attractor.
It seems to trigger a primal response in those we come in contact with.
People are wired to rush toward a scene with victims.
Now,
I'm not being critical of that.
Genuine compassion and a desire to help those in need is a gift for all concerned.
But let's return to those 14 words.
How I relate to myself when I go through the issue is the issue.
So if I'm going through a crisis and relating to myself as a victim,
I keep reinforcing an inner picture of me as weak,
Ineffective,
Powerless,
The very qualities I associate with being victimized.
That self-image can take me down a rabbit hole while the problem that triggered me goes unsolved.
Here are the steps that I take when I need to move past victimhood and regain power.
Number one,
Name the feelings.
And language matters here.
I feel victimized,
Or victimhood is paying me a visit,
Not I am a victim.
That's an important distinction.
Number two,
Regulate my nervous system,
Breathe deeply,
Hold a pillow to my face and scream,
Move my body,
Purge right.
Be with someone who will listen with compassion,
Acknowledge my feelings without,
And this is crucial,
Without taking on the mantle of victimhood themselves.
Number three,
Get real,
Acknowledge the harm and recognize my power to take action.
Recognize that my attitude is my choice,
See that this is not okay,
And I choose how I show up now.
Number four,
Get specific,
Replace the global doom,
Everything's against me,
With a specific inventory.
Okay,
What's happened?
What's the impact it's had on me?
What do I need?
As soon as I get specific,
Problems become solvable.
Number five,
Connect with my higher self or my higher power,
Hand on heart,
Ask,
Okay,
How can I make a difference?
What is my role in fixing this?
And then number six,
Take one small step,
Taking action,
No matter how small,
Breaks the pose of powerlessness.
Having the deepest and most powerful experience of being alive is not easy,
If we'd only been given an instruction manual on day one.
In my journey of careening toward enlightenment,
A journey that never seems to end,
By the way,
A large part of the work has been recognizing my unconscious patterns of thinking and reacting that have caused me to play small,
That have kept me from having the deepest and most powerful experience of being alive.
I've just completed a course here on Insight Timer,
In which I share stories from my journey.
It's called Finding Serenity,
A journey into the heart of change,
Acceptance,
Courage and wisdom.
I invite you to check it out.
I'll see you there.
