Confidence Versus Self-Worth

You can be the most confident person in the world, yet still struggle with low self-worth. How can that be? Low self-worth has deep roots and like weeds deeply rooted in the earth, it requires committed digging. Listen to this episode to learn about:

1. How low self-worth has nothing to do with self-confidence
2. The difference between low self-confidence and low self-worth
3. The origins and main causes of low self-worth
4. The key to building self-worth

Transcript

Hey everyone and welcome to the Reclaim Your Worth podcast.

I'm your host Patricia Pisano and I'm so excited to guide and support you on this incredible journey to reclaiming your self-worth.

Your self-worth is a really big deal.

It plays a crucial role in almost every aspect of your life and is the most valuable thing you can possess.

It's the one thing that will have a lifelong effect on everything you think,

Everything you feel and everything you do.

So on this podcast each week I'll be sharing powerful insights as well as actionable steps,

Tools and practices which you can implement in your everyday life to overcome self-doubt,

Confusion,

Overwhelm and the general feeling of being stuck that comes with having low self-worth.

By connecting and strengthening the relationship you have with yourself you become empowered to show up as the amazing person you are and attract healthier relationships,

A better career,

More money and an overall increase in your well-being.

Because self-worth is so incredibly important and because I believe the world is a better place when everyone has enough self-worth to play full out and contribute their gifts,

I've created a free guide to jumpstart your journey.

Click the link in the show notes to grab your free guide Powerful Tools and Practices to Boost Your Self-Worth and remember you are enough just the way you are.

I can't wait to support you on this journey.

Hi everyone and welcome to episode two of the Reclaim Your Worth podcast.

This week I'm going to be talking about the inconvenient truth about low self-worth.

For as long as I can remember the people in my life both at work and personally who always commented on how confident I appeared and maybe on the surface I did come across and do come across as self-confident but deep down I believed I just wasn't as good as other people.

You see on the surface I seemed to have a relatively good life.

I loved school and did pretty well at it.

I was good at sports,

I went to university,

I had a whole line up of education and professional qualifications under my belt.

I've always had a decent career,

First in media then in education but I always felt like I wasn't as good as others and constantly doubted my abilities.

I always pushed myself to try new things but nothing seemed to work.

I certainly suffered from imposter syndrome in everything I did.

So after years of trying to work out if there was something inherently wrong with me and after thousands of hours spent reading tons and tons of books and taking trainings and courses on how changing my thoughts about myself would make me feel more confident I finally understood that you can actually appear confident but still have low self-worth.

Self-confidence and self-worth are certainly worlds apart.

You see in simple terms self-worth lies at the core of our being.

Self-worth is recognizing that you matter,

That you're a valuable human being,

That you deserve to be treated with respect and that you're worthy of love.

Essentially self-worth is how you view yourself,

What you think about yourself and what you believe about yourself.

It's about the opinion you have of yourself regardless of what anyone else says or thinks.

On the flip side self-confidence is tied to your capability to do something successfully and how much you trust yourself and your ability to deal with challenges,

Solve problems and engage successfully with the world.

So let's take a look at low self-confidence versus low self-worth.

So if we look at self-confidence it stems from challenges either past or present.

Just to give an example maybe you didn't get the job you wanted because you didn't have the right skill set for it yet or maybe you messed up at work in delivering a presentation and you're worried that you'll mess up again.

So these types of things they can knock your self-confidence.

But here's the secret I've only recently discovered.

Low self-confidence is rational and so you can find rational ways to navigate it.

So if we think about the examples I just gave you know you can receive mentoring on how to deliver a presentation or in the case of the unsuccessful job application you can get specific training to develop your professional skill set.

Low self-worth on the other hand isn't rational.

You can have the most amazing job,

Be blessed with good health,

Have an abundance of money and still feel worthless and let me tell you it's not based on challenges.

You see low self-worth has its origins in unresolved past experiences and emotions.

So rather than being a simple thought low self-worth is a belief and a belief that was formed from past experiences which led to negative beliefs about yourself and the world.

And you want to know the biggest emotion that triggers and drives low self-worth?

Shame.

So let's just take a quick look at the main causes of low self-worth.

So number one childhood abuse.

So any childhood physical or sexual abuse is one of the most common reasons for low self-worth.

As children what we do you know in an attempt to understand what's happening you know a child blames herself or himself.

Number two childhood trauma.

So anything that affected your sense of identity or safety as a child falls into the trauma bucket.

So anything from experiencing parental loss through death or abandonment to being bullied at home or at school any of these can constitute trauma.

Three adverse childhood experiences.

So this includes difficult experiences children live through like neglect or growing up with an alcoholic or sick parent witnessing angry and violent behavior in the home growing up in poverty or parents divorcing all these are classified as adverse childhood experiences.

Number four poor parenting.

I know as parents you know we often do the best we can but what I'm referring to here is frequent punishments and criticisms and ridiculously high standards or not being given enough affection enough attention or acknowledgement the three things that all children need.

So this type of poor parenting is undoubtedly connected to low self-worth.

Five poor attachment.

To grow up to be an adult who can have healthy trusting relationships attachment theory suggests that you need a parent or a caregiver in your early years who you can trust to always be there for you and accept you just as you are.

And six negative core belief system.

So negative core beliefs created by experiences like the ones I've just mentioned sound like I'm unlovable everyone else is better than me I'm not smart enough I'm not good enough and the one that really got me and the one that I hear from the many women I've coached is I was so confident until that narcissist stripped me of everything does that resonate with you.

I've learned that this way of thinking is so typical in people with low self-worth but the truth is that for me it wasn't a toxic relationship that strict me of everything the abusive relationship was the icing on the cake the truth is that I had a long history of inner pain and struggled to feel good most of my life.

Toxic relationship brought to light something I needed to know about myself I finally realized and admitted that deep down I didn't really like myself.

So through my own experiences and my own healing journey I can honestly put my hand on my heart and reveal that until you deal with your past head on however painful that may be you'll always be running from yourself creating the same pattern over and over again and then wondering for example why you experience difficulties with intimacy and relationships both personal and professional positive thinking alone pushing yourself harder ignoring how you feel and hoping it would just go away all the things that I did just won't help.

The good news is there are several different practices you can do to work through what's hiding behind your low self-worth.

So low self-worth has deep roots and unlike weeds deeply rooted in the earth requires committed digging.

So if you're serious about moving forward and discovering new ways of relating and being that gently raise your self-worth you can start by getting my free guide that I've created powerful tools to boost your self-worth I'll include the link in the show notes.

If you enjoyed this episode please leave a review so I can continue to bring you great content and if you found this episode helpful and you know someone who might benefit from hearing it please share it.

So until next week take care and remember you are enough.

Reviews

Thank you! So needed !! will listen to your podcast 🙏🏻

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I would like to listen to more episodes