How Empaths Can Protect Their Energy

Join Dr Traci and Pasquale as they discuss how an Empath can protect their energy and also manage their gifts. Being an Empath means having an intuitive gift of being able to feel the emotions of others. If not managed appropriately, this gift can be a curse when we aren’t able to separate our emotions from the emotions of others. It can be overwhelming and feel like we’re carrying the weight of the world, as it feels like everything we are feeling is ours. In this episode, learn how to protect your energy and use this ability as the gift it was meant to be.

Transcript

Hi,

Everyone.

I'm Dr.

Tracy.

Hey,

It's Pasquale.

So today,

We're going to talk about empaths and how they can protect their energy.

Empaths and energy.

Yes.

Perfect.

Right up your alley.

Love the topics.

Love it.

Love it.

It's actually a perfect spiritual psychology topic because there's energetic ways to protect your energy and then there's also psychological ways and we're both going to go through those with you.

Do you want to start?

I would love to start.

So as we talked about before.

.

.

Age before beauty.

Well,

Then it's not me.

Sorry.

Sorry.

So as we,

I think we should just like redefine what an empath is.

Because I think if you're watching this for the first time,

It's good to know.

But an empath is someone who picks up the energy of others and then brings it into themselves and it creates an emotional response.

It's not always the emotion of the person.

It's sometimes the feelings that become your emotions,

Right?

Well,

We confuse it and feel like it is our emotion.

Correct.

And it becomes ours.

And that's partly why we want to protect ourselves.

And it can become very overwhelming.

It makes us,

You know,

Feel a little cuckoo at times because we don't understand why we're feeling this stuff,

Not realizing that it wasn't ours originally.

So we kind of,

We felt it from others,

Picked it up from others and then took ownership of it.

Correct.

Yes.

And so that's truly what an empath is,

Right?

We start to pick up the information or energy of other people.

And so when you protect yourself,

I always,

My first rule is always number one,

Identify if you're picking up energy,

Right?

You have to discern,

Is it energy I'm picking up or is it mine?

Right.

Because if it is yours,

That goes into a whole other topic,

Right?

But if it is because you're in a room and you're with someone and all of a sudden like your vibration drops or you start to feel something and you're like,

Just two seconds ago,

I was happy.

That's a very good indicator that you're actually picking up energy and responding to it.

Yeah.

Best question I found is just simply take a moment to ask yourself,

Is this,

Is there a reason why I'm feeling this?

Love that.

And if there doesn't,

You know,

If it doesn't seem to be any sort of situational thing going on with yourself,

You can probably assume that it's,

You're picking it up from somebody else.

A hundred percent.

And like my,

My,

My number one go-to question is,

Is this mine?

Yeah.

Perfect.

Because I instantly know it's not,

You know,

Or,

Oh yeah,

Maybe it is.

Right.

And so I think that's the most important,

Recognizing if it's yours and if it is yours,

The first thing you need to say before you do any type of protection is,

I am not accepting this.

I'm letting it go.

I'm moving it.

It's not mine.

You have to tell yourself what you want to do.

You mean if it's not yours?

If it's not yours.

I think you started that if it's yours.

Oh,

I apologize.

Maybe.

Okay.

Now I don't remember.

I get so hyped up into it.

But if it's not yours.

If it is not your energy,

So you are sitting there and all of a sudden you're like,

I'm happy.

And then all of a sudden you're like,

Ask yourself,

Is this my energy?

If your answer is no,

Because I was just happy.

The first thing you want to say is I'm going to let that go because that isn't mine.

Like you have to give it the intention.

Right.

And so for me,

If the intention is always,

I'm letting it go.

It's not mine.

I'm not going to take it.

Right.

And then my number one recommendation,

The easiest is just to ground your energy.

Right.

And that is feet on the ground.

Envision roots forming and just push the energy out.

Right.

If you're in a public place that can sometimes feel a little awkward,

Especially if you're newer at it.

Right.

So I always tell people,

Like when you feel it,

Excuse yourself,

Run to the bathroom,

Shut the stall,

Sit on the toilet and just do it.

Right.

I guess multiple things.

If you wanted to,

You could actually do that.

I tell people that too,

But just the way you said it was perfection.

Just let it go.

Let it out.

Just release it.

Just let it go.

And take a few minutes just to do it.

Right.

I know.

I know.

I'm sorry.

That's funny.

I laugh because I used to work in a.

.

.

I'm like a child.

You are a child.

I never grew up.

I always worry about her.

I personally used to work in a very corporate environment where we were just everywhere.

And I had no problems running to the bathroom and going,

Be right back.

Oh,

Yeah.

Just to get it out.

Right.

You have to identify.

And for my number one thing is just let it go.

Go and just feel yourself release it.

Feel the energy fall through.

Feel it let go.

And then ask yourself,

How am I feeling?

Right.

Because you need to make sure,

Oh,

That is gone or I'm still holding on to that.

Right.

Then you want to do it a little bit longer.

Typically three minutes is always a good amount of time.

Three to five will typically get it out.

Okay.

So from a psychological perspective,

I would.

.

.

You know,

It's good even just having the awareness that this is not mine ends up to be like half the battle.

Yes.

Right.

And then the rest is just kind of like that physical or energetic release of it.

Yeah.

But remember,

Words are magic.

Right.

Words,

Those intentions are magical.

They make things happen.

Yes.

And so some other things that you can do,

Again,

Psychologically is boundaries.

Boundaries are really,

Really important.

Especially when you know,

Like if there's somebody around you that you tend to pick up energy from frequently,

Like maybe a spouse or,

You know,

Your kids or a parent or something like that.

Maybe,

You know,

A good friend or,

You know,

Anything that you're around.

You may want to,

Until you can kind of manage this better and it not affect you so deeply.

I always recommend having strong boundaries with that person.

And that can look,

You know,

In a lot of different ways.

It can maybe it's maybe you minimize the how long you're with them or for how often you see them.

Or maybe,

You know,

Email like texting or social media contact for a little while over maybe in person or phone calls or something like that.

You know,

Maybe if they're having,

You know,

Get together,

You're planning to see them.

You know,

Maybe come a little bit later or leave a little bit early where you're spending less time there.

Just kind of something like that.

And this is,

Of course,

I'm recommending this in cases where we get really triggered and we could end up like taking on their anxiety or anger or something like that.

And then it ends up causing,

You know,

A fight,

An argument between that person.

And,

You know,

I'm talking about like an extreme circumstance.

I totally agree.

And,

You know,

One of the things that I add to that would add to that is also you can set like boundaries in the sense of what do I want to talk about?

Correct.

So if someone is always talking about something that,

You know,

Is against what you feel or against kind of like your nature,

Like make it a rule.

I don't talk about religion.

Off topic.

Yeah.

Just make them make those subjects,

You know,

Off.

And,

You know,

An easy way to say it is just to say like,

Hey,

I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't talk about that.

Yeah.

Exactly.

So don't blame it on them.

That's perfect.

Just say it about yourself,

That it's a commitment to yourself.

And,

You know,

That's great.

I mean,

For boundaries,

Especially nowadays,

You know,

To have any way to just be able to,

You know,

Say,

You know what,

That topic makes me,

You know,

It's not serving my purpose.

It doesn't,

You know,

I get very upset about it.

So in order to take care of myself,

I've made a commitment to myself not to talk about it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean,

And like,

I would probably shorten that and just say,

I just promised myself I wouldn't talk about that subject.

Right.

Because I don't think sometimes you have to share the reasons.

Well,

That's true.

Yeah,

That's true.

But that's just me.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean,

Whatever works for you.

Right.

But if you live with that person,

Obviously the physical boundaries are a little bit more difficult.

But,

You know,

You could have separation.

That's where,

Like,

Even coping skills and self-care become very important.

You know,

Coping skills and self-care could even be outside of the house,

Which gives you space from that person.

Yeah.

You know,

So,

You know,

So and again,

You know,

Self-care and coping skills are different.

We have a separate episode on that if you want to check that out.

So.

But another way,

You know,

One of the things that I will always say is,

Like,

For me,

When I start to feel that I'm picking up other people's energy,

Whether I'm at home,

At work,

At the library,

At the mall,

In the car,

Wherever it is.

Right.

Like my first number one thing is I just start to just acknowledge I'm not taking that on.

Right.

Right.

You know,

You walk into a room and you see someone and you're like,

Oh,

That person's real angry.

You know what I mean?

And you sit down and you start to feel that kind of bubbling.

You need to remind yourself,

Like,

I'm not taking that.

Right.

Like,

That's not mine.

Well,

That would always be a great first step.

Yes.

And then you can follow it up.

Yes.

You know,

But that takes a little while,

A little practice for people who aren't used to doing that and grounding and things like that.

So if you are,

You know,

Very new to this,

That can take some practice.

And that's where you can also add on to the other things where eventually the more you practice it,

You'll get to a point where you could just simply say that to yourself and do,

You know,

The grounding release.

And it's a done deal.

100.

Well,

And but like with anything that comes to intuition,

Being an empath is that,

Right?

It's practice.

Right.

No one runs a marathon the first day.

You don't ever decide,

Oh,

I'm going to run a marathon tomorrow and actually run it.

Yeah.

Not going to happen.

Like,

I don't think that it's real.

I'm just going to set your expectations to reality.

Right.

Like,

No,

It's going to take you a minute.

Right.

And so sometimes it's always best to practice with someone you care about.

Right.

To kind of develop the skills and what works for me.

Right.

Because it's not always going to be like just grounding.

Right.

It's not always going to be just removing yourself or saying,

I,

You know,

That's not a topic I want to talk about.

Sometimes it's a combination.

Right.

Sometimes depending on the energy,

It could be many things,

You know,

I have so many stories of this,

Like happening to me personally,

But like the easy ones,

The ones that I'm not connected to are the easiest to ground out.

The deeper the connection or the closer you are to them takes a little bit more.

Right.

It's a little different.

Right.

Right.

Because they can trigger you on such a more intense level because they're a loved one.

Yes.

You know,

And we care so much about,

You know,

What they think and feel about us and things like that.

Yeah.

And so it's kind of like,

Especially if it's somebody that you live with,

It's,

You know,

If one person in the house generally isn't in a good mood,

It's like it domino effects to the whole house and you just feel the energy in the house.

That doesn't ever happen in this house.

Oh,

Yeah.

Okay.

Why?

All lies.

All lies.

But you know what?

It happens in every household.

It's supposed to.

We're human.

We're experiencing life.

Yeah.

And remember,

It's because we love that person.

Yes.

Because,

And then we feel very helpless and then we,

Our efforts,

We have good intention most of the time,

But we want to help.

But,

You know,

What ends up happening is when say somebody comes home,

Our partner or,

You know,

Somebody comes home early.

Yeah.

And they're angry and,

You know,

We're like,

What's your problem or what are you angry at?

Well,

What do you think the response is going to be like that?

You know,

The person is going to get like immediately defensive and now you're in an argument,

You know,

So that,

So our intention of wanting to help and then normally,

You know,

Then we can end up taking the martyr or the victim role and be like,

I was just asking you or I was just trying to help,

You know,

That famous line.

But we have to see whether our intentions are actually matching.

So the best way we can,

You want to jump in?

Can I just jump into that?

Because I think there's a valid point in that.

It's like,

Especially people who are in a service related business,

Right?

If you're feeling the energy of someone,

You don't have to fix it.

Right.

Right.

Like you don't want to,

Because if you're feeling it,

You can't fix it.

Well,

I.

In that moment.

I have,

I try to teach people,

You know,

Rework your definition of fixing it because you're not,

You're correct.

You're not trying to fix it in the way that we would generally like think of fixing a problem,

Like actually like problem solving it or giving our opinion or advice or recommendations,

Whatever,

You know,

But we have to think of fixing it is just listening,

Offering support and encouragement.

That is the biggest support and fixer of all and asking somebody how,

You know,

What can I do to help?

But we're not able to do that and separate ourselves when we're now in the emotion with them.

Yes.

Right.

And so that's the biggest thing of going back to this,

You know,

Protection.

We kind of,

You know,

Got off on a little tangent,

But that's bringing it back around.

But it's a fact.

Yeah.

Correct.

Yeah.

So you have to recognize that,

Right?

Like you don't want to surge and operate on you if they're upset.

No.

Right.

No.

No.

Go home and be upset and then surgery.

You know,

Like we'll operate on you.

Sorry.

No,

I like that one better.

It's the moment.

But like to me,

That's a reality though.

I think that's something because a lot of empaths,

Because what is our nature?

Right.

We want to fix.

We want to help.

Right.

But if you're feeling that energy,

You can't help until you let it go.

Right.

You've got to let it go before you can even step into it.

And that's,

You know,

The primary reason,

Like the most important reason why even,

You know,

People in a helping profession,

Like for my profession especially,

Is we have to have that emotional boundary with people or we can't maintain objectivity and be able to help them.

So it's not like a callous,

Like cold thing.

Like,

I don't care about people.

You know,

Obviously I wouldn't be doing what I do.

But,

You know,

I have gotten that question before,

You know,

Like,

You know,

How do you maintain that?

Do you just not care?

And I'm like,

What?

That does not make sense.

It's far from it.

It's because we're protecting ourselves before we walk into it.

So that we can help.

Because,

Again,

We can't give what we don't have.

So it's really important to,

You know,

Try to,

You know,

Protect yourself from that energy,

Back up out of it.

And I have,

I used the practice for quite a while when I was trying to get it under control.

That really worked for me,

Is really like literally and emotionally backing up out of that energy.

So I imagine that person with like that,

You know,

We all have that ball of energy,

That auric field,

Right?

That goes like in a bubble around a couple feet around us.

So I actually visualize that person with that bubble of energy.

And then I will physically back up out of it.

And in my mind emotionally.

And I imagine my energy separate from theirs.

And then I say to myself,

That's not mine,

Like you were saying.

And I say,

And to remind myself of my intention of helping,

I say,

Don't attach to it.

I'm saying this in my mind.

And it's like a mantra that I'll repeat until I can really let,

Like separate myself from it.

And I'll say,

You know,

Let them have their emotion.

Let them have their emotion.

Because once we attach to it,

Now it becomes,

Now we're making it about us.

Right?

And now we're no longer helping them.

So that completely negates our original intention to help them.

I love that.

Like that?

I love that.

Okay,

Good.

The other one I like to always,

The other one that I will tell you that is an easy one to add is oftentimes in your inner room,

Right?

And most of the time,

I mean,

10 out of 10,

If you look up,

The light is white.

Every time,

Right?

You look up?

Yeah.

The light up there is white,

Right?

If you can just attach yourself to that,

One of my mentors taught me this.

If you can attach yourself to that light and just look at it for a second and just feel yourself let go by looking at that light.

So like you look at it and you're like,

This isn't mine and I'm letting it go,

Right?

That's interesting.

If you look at it,

Look up and then look straight,

You'll still be looking at it.

Do you notice that?

Yeah.

Try it at home.

It's a little exercise.

It's a fun time.

That's pretty,

That's interesting because also like one of the coping skills to like separate and basically like stop yourself emotionally is when you look up.

And because you know how like when people start to cry and when they're,

When they want to stop,

They immediately like look up and they're like,

You know,

Like making sure that,

You know,

You fan the tears away so they don't come out,

You know,

But that,

That is,

There's something scientific about looking up where you're looking,

You're accessing like a different part of the brain or something.

I'm not quite sure of the specific scientific explanation,

But I believe it's you're accessing a different part of the brain that moves you away from the emotional side.

Yeah.

And the spiritual side of it is if you look up and then you're looking at white,

It's typically like a clearing energy,

Right?

Like it's always like you step into the white light.

You always look at the white,

Right?

White is clearing.

It helps remove.

Right.

And so look up,

Look at it and just remind yourself.

And once you look up and you look straight,

You're going to continue to see the light somewhere over here.

Like it's still the best way I can describe it.

Yeah.

Try it.

You'll tell me I'm right.

And then we can all agree on that.

And then once you're in that,

You can be like,

Okay,

This isn't mine and I'm letting it go.

And that will serve as a form of grounding as well.

Awesome.

A quick little tip.

Spiritual psychology at its best.

Go to a banquet.

Working together.

Go into a big banquet conference and all those people,

Thousands of people all around you,

Just look up.

You'll feel 100% better.

All right.

Well,

Let us know what works for you.

Maybe what doesn't.

And thank you.

Our next episode is going to be about empaths in relationships.

So that should be a good one.

That'll be fun.

Interesting.

Until next time.

Bye.