This is a reflection practice that is meant to help cultivate both mindful awareness as well as self-compassion.
And I'll be using a poem by the beloved poet Mary Oliver called While Swimming One Day in August.
Both self-compassion and mindfulness are so important for us on our journey to healing and well-being.
And in this reflection,
We'll be exploring a little bit of the ego's strategies and learning how to talk to them with compassion and wisdom.
For this practice,
I recommend sitting upright,
Whether that be on a chair,
The couch,
Or your meditation cushion.
It is time now for the deepening and the quieting of the heart among the flux of happenings.
This line from Mary Oliver's poem,
This is what we're doing.
This deepening and quieting among the flux of happenings in our life.
This is the invitation of meditation.
Arriving.
Arriving here and now.
Just as we are.
Just as conditions are.
Sensing the room you're in.
Noticing the temperature.
Arriving into this virtual field that gets created by insight timer and every time you meditate with all of the other beautiful beings meditating around the globe.
Arriving this sense of hereness.
Not later.
Not before.
But now.
Settling.
Dropping into the felt sense.
The felt sense of the body sitting.
Just sensing the whole body sitting.
Continuing to open awareness to this physical body.
Opening your awareness to this physical body.
Inviting it to rest into the support of the earth.
That's the touch points of the body.
Noticing the seat and the feet.
Just sensing into this lower half of the body.
Noticing the pelvic bowl.
Not pressing and not hovering.
Just resting.
Easy.
Gently.
Kindly.
Settling into the felt sense of groundedness.
And let this felt sense of groundedness get as big or as full or as grounded as it wants to get.
It might seem impossible or inconceivable to your ego that nothing is needed.
Nothing needs to be fixed.
Nothing needs to be managed or controlled.
The ego might pop in ready to help or ready to criticize or manage or compare.
If this happens,
Just notice and respond with kindness and maybe a wisdom talk of dear ego not needed.
I'm ready to open to life in this moment.
Sitting on the ground of this wholesome intention available to the truth of the way things are.
Sensing the relative stillness of the body.
Just about it.
Letting it come to you.
Just being easily satisfied with a hint of a hint.
No need for striving.
Letting it be good enough,
Whatever comes easily.
And if some part doesn't believe that,
Just say,
Let's try it.
No harm in trying it.
Compassion,
Kindness as we open into awareness what's here now.
This relative stillness of the body sitting.
And let the stillness usher in the contrasting experience of movement.
The movement of what we call breath.
The felt sense of the breath.
We are the participant observer.
So we're not hovering above our experience counting the breath or managing the breath or in the concept of the breath.
We're in the experience of the breath through the movement of the body.
Just being satisfied with a hint of a hint.
Realizing this physical body resting on the ground and the movement of breath flowing through it.
Stillness and movement.
Movement in stillness.
Allowing ourselves to be loyal in our willingness to sense this.
To keep coming home to the felt sense of this body.
Delighted,
Kind,
Curious,
Friendly.
And tune into the heart's aspiration,
The innocent place that wants to be free.
Because there is a through line,
A direct through line from this sincere heart or this innocent heart's longing to the sure heart's release.
It's so precious,
This heart's aspiration to know itself,
To come home,
To be free.
This wise intention to be available to the truth of this present moment.
This learning to meet each moment.
May I meet this moment fully.
Not easy.
Mary Oliver said,
Something had pestered me so much I thought my heart would break.
Yes,
We know that.
We know that as humans.
We thought our heart would break.
So we developed strategies or built walls.
We went on the offensive or the defensive.
Or we tried to be so likable.
Or tried to make everybody happy.
Or to be the smartest or the fastest or the coolest or the hottest or the brightest.
We learned to lay low so that no one would notice us.
Or we intentionally messed up believing that no one cared.
So understandable.
So natural.
Different parts of the committee inside of us having different strategies.
Kindness.
Settling and soothing.
Bringing all of these parts into the embrace.
The through line of practice is not the ego's strategies.
But it's so understandable that these strategies emerged.
Be grateful for their attempts to provide protection and shelter.
But we're ready now.
Ready to settle and to soothe these strategies.
We're ready to open to the felt sense of this present moment.
This is the ground of kindness.
This is the ground of compassion.
This welcoming of all the parts of us.
Mary Oliver goes on to say,
I went down to the sea which held me until I grew easy.
This beautiful image,
This sea,
These arms of loving kindness,
This sea that gently holds us in compassion,
In kindness,
In love.
This being held in the arms of love rather than trying to strategize and pick things up or control things or manage things or manage this meditation.
We learn to renounce through wisdom these tendencies to fix or to judge or to compare or to perform.
Settling and soothing.
Being here right now,
Letting go of any of the ego's tendencies to strategize and manage.
Inclining to be right here,
Right now.
All of those strategies come out of the assumption that something is broken,
That something is missing or needs some kind of heroic effort to be fixed.
Settling,
Soothing and instead recognizing what's already here.
This heart,
This beautiful heart being open to more deeply receiving what's happening now.
Listening to open to life.
Yes,
Life will be pleasant sometimes,
Unpleasant other times and neither pleasant or unpleasant sometimes.
You're cultivating a readiness with compassion and wisdom to meet each moment fully,
To meet each moment as a friend.
This is our learning.
It is time now,
I said,
For the deepening and quieting of the spirit among the flux of habitings.
Something had pestered me so much I thought my heart would break.
I mean the mechanical part.
I went down in the afternoon to the sea which held me until I grew easy.
About tomorrow,
Who knows anything except that it will be time again for the deepening and quieting of the spirit.
Yes,
Life will be pleasant sometimes,
Unpleasant other times and neither pleasant or pleasant sometimes.
