Tantra & The Path Of Devotion

Traditionally in India, there are two ways of experiencing God. God can be experienced in His transcendental, formless aspect. God can also be experienced in His/Her immanent manifest aspect with form (the form of Rama, Siva, Krishna, etc.) Whether the individual worships God in His formless aspect or worships God through a personal form, the Bhakta (one who practices Bhakti) will approach his or her Divine Beloved with love or devotion.

Let us dive into the path of Tantric union through devotion to the one, to the all.

Transcript

So welcome.

Thank you for being here for yourselves and for all those that you impact in coming into deeper resonance and presence with yourself.

And my invitation as you receive this information and this message is that you do whatever you need to do for your body to feel the most comfortable.

And so if you would like to sit with a nice straight spine and a soft chest in front to really take in deep breaths through the nostrils,

Do so.

And if you would like to lay down and allow your body to rest and really,

Really kind of dive into the parasympathetic reset,

I encourage you to choose what feels best for you.

So tune into your intuition.

Maybe it means closing the eyes and asking yourself,

How best will I receive this information?

And how best will my body relax into receiving this information?

And only you will know that.

So in a meditative seat or in a meditative grounding and laying out.

So Tantra.

First,

I want to speak to this word Tantra.

We hear this word overused in modern day society,

And it makes sense.

We are very,

In general,

If I'm making generalizations,

There is much suppression and repression around sexuality and sensuality and relating that we have taken this term Tantra,

Which is truly presence,

Really the essence of Tantra.

The underground of it,

The solidity that exists underneath the Tantric path is deep,

Deep,

Deep presence.

And we say mindfulness,

But I almost want to say mindlessness when we have less mind,

When we're less mental and we're feeling.

There is this word called mindfulness.

Dharmata in Sanskrit.

And Dharmata is kind of known as the true essence of all.

It's the true state of self,

Capital S self.

And I've heard it explained in a way that I find really beautiful.

It's that gap or that space between one thought and the next.

And it's that place where we can rest,

Where we're out of story,

We're out of our masks,

We're out of our character,

And we simply exist in nothingness.

We exist in the void.

So that gap between one thought and the next,

Or we can think of it is the space between the inhalation and the exhalation.

So even if,

As I say that,

I invite you to take a deep breath into the nostrils,

A nice slow breath out of the nostrils,

Finding that ocean like sound.

And as we receive this information,

My invitation is to consistently check in with your body.

How are you feeling in your body?

If the body feels contracted or tense,

If the mind is clinging onto every word,

Soften the eyes like they're floating on cool pools of water.

Continue to breathe in and out of the nostrils and take your breath in and out of the nostrils.

Take yourself into that gap between the inhalation and the exhalation and rest there.

When gurus or great teachers speak about enlightenment or samadhi,

This instantaneous awakening,

They're speaking about existing in that gap between.

In between the first thought and the second and the continuum of that,

Those little gaps that get bigger and bigger and open and open until we are just like in a hammock between one thought and the next,

The inhalation and the exhalation.

And we relax there.

We breathe there.

We exist in that space of emptiness,

That nothingness.

So tantra in its true essence is coming out of the past and into the present moment.

It is truly being present with what is,

Not with what we expect or what we desire,

But with what is.

On the tantric path,

In the Buddhist perspective,

Desire is not seen as something to be suppressed but transformed.

So something that happened along the way,

Tantra in this deep,

Deep level of presence,

As more and more people started taking up tantric practices and studying with a tantric teacher,

It's a way of being present with what is.

So when I was a tantric master,

One of the byproducts of that was having a better sex life.

Not because that was the aim,

But when we are deeply present with ourselves and one another,

There is a bond that is created that is beyond form.

So what people started to notice was,

Wow,

Mindlessness.

If I rest in that gap between,

I'm no longer running towards an agenda.

I'm not in expectation.

I'm fully giving my presence to the moment and to the person that's in front of me.

So what happens in that is when we feel so seen,

When we feel heard,

When we feel acknowledged by someone else that's fully present with us,

There is a trust that occurs.

The body de-armors itself.

The walls come down.

We feel that we can tell our truths that will be accepted,

That will be loved.

A bond can be created from here that is so deep.

So this can be the beginning of tantra within devotion to another,

When we're in unity with another.

So when we're speaking about the tantric path of devotion and intimacy to another person,

This is being deeply present to that person and putting the agenda to the side,

Putting the expectation to the side and becoming empty vessels.

As we rest in that gap between one thought and the next,

We see our partner or the other person as a divine presence,

As the divine vessel for love through form.

And so we get the opportunity in being mirrored in this way through partnership to see the divinity,

The godliness in this other person.

They no longer are the object of our obsession and what will give us affection.

We're not looking at them with this capitalistic perspective of what can you give to me?

How will you love me?

We are looking at them with what can I give to you?

How can I love you?

And we give our presence.

We let go of our expectation.

We let go of our agenda.

We see the person in front of us as godly and sacred and we treat them as so.

And this is the path to sacred union.

So in sacred union,

And I'm giving a heteronormative way to look at this,

But I want you to understand that when I'm speaking about love,

It's non-binary.

I'm speaking to feminine principles and masculine principles.

So depending on how you identify your sexuality,

You're included in this.

This is not just for males and females.

It's for the masculine and the feminine within each body.

So I want you to know that however you identify in your sexuality and your intimacy,

That you belong here,

That you belong to the tapestry,

That there is a place for you here,

That you also are included in love.

I also think that in so many of our teachings,

This heteronormative way of saying things really is not inclusive to the whole tapestry that we are.

So I'll speak to feminine and masculine principles,

However you identify with that in your body,

Because we all are the masculine.

We all are the feminine.

So it's important that in a sacred union,

In a tantric union,

That actually the polarity of the masculine and the feminine can be felt in both bodies.

So that me as an individual who identifies with her existence,

I can be felt in both bodies.

Her existence in embodiment of more divine feminine,

I'm also aware that I have a masculine pole that is very strong.

In a tantric union,

What comes to be is if my partner is also very connected,

Say I am with a partner that is in a male body and he is very connected with his feminine principle,

That we actually can interchange polarities and that he gives me space to be in my masculine principle while I give him space to be in his feminine principle.

Meaning that through sacred union,

In that emptiness,

Being in that space between one thought and the next,

Between the inhalation and the exhalation,

That each of us in divine presence,

Dropping the agenda,

Dropping expectation,

We become empty vessels.

We are no longer in a female body or a male body,

But we are empty vessels that are mirroring each other for the sake of our own evolution and we interchange.

We dance.

We allow the feminine principle to move between us and through each of us.

We allow the masculine principle to move between and through each of us.

So sacred union,

When we're speaking about the masculine principle and the feminine,

The feminine principle is usually symbolized as the union of wisdom through the feminine.

And method and consciousness is often represented as the male principle.

And so when we can respect this in each being,

We allow ourselves to be the fullest expressions of ourselves.

Because when you think of your existence coming into this world,

We come into the world,

We take our first breath.

And as soon as the doctor sees us,

He marks on a piece of paper,

Male born at dot,

Dot,

Dot,

Female born at dot,

Dot,

Dot.

In that moment,

Half of our identity is taken away from us.

All of a sudden we are in blue clothes or we're in pink clothes.

We are called this or we are called that and our world closes in.

This is the beginning of doling our wholeness down.

So in the tantric path,

We're taking that limitation off and we're allowing ourselves to be fully masculine and feminine.

Meaning that if you are relating to your feminine principle in a moment and you are in a male body,

That I can hold you.

I can allow you to cry.

You can be vulnerable.

You can share with me your tenderness and also the channel that is the wisdom of the feminine principle.

And I can be spaciousness.

I can be consciousness in that moment.

I can be emptiness as the stable masculine principle so that you can heal your relationship to the feminine.

So in sacred union and a tantric union,

We aren't holding ourselves to certain masks or certain roles.

We're allowing one another to be full,

To be capable.

In terms of being tantric,

When I think of being tantric,

I think of that as being present.

If I am being present with myself,

I am not a person,

But I am a process.

So being tantric with self to me is being tantric with life itself.

I am observing,

I am witnessing,

I am feeling,

I am noticing that I'm having a material existence,

That I have these arms and these legs and this body,

But that I am feeling,

You know,

Emotion is moving through me.

Breath is moving through me.

And when we speak of tantric energy,

People talk about the energy of sexuality.

Energy is energy.

So we can direct energy to be sexual,

But we are all fueled by life force energy.

What is important on the tantric path is that we learn to transform that desire that we have,

That sexual energy that we have into energy to evolve,

That we can be in our sacred union in sexuality,

But that in the sex magic of dropping the masks and of being empty and of being both the masculine and feminine poles and playing with the polarities,

Who wants to be what in this moment?

And can we wave through?

Because as we make love,

As we cycle through,

The principles are changing,

They're shifting.

So I could be in my feminine and I could be opening and I could be surrendering and submitting.

But in another moment,

I can be in my power,

In my spaciousness,

Holding the feminine that moves through my male body partner.

And instead of using that energy to go down,

To go down into the base of the body,

Into the base of the body and to to go down into the base of the body,

Into the sexual organs,

We instead rise the energy up through and out so that we give our orgasm,

That we give our energy to life.

So that in sexuality,

In tantric practices,

In sacred union,

We are taking the sexual energy that we feel and we are rising up.

We're bringing it through the body.

We learn to transmute that into life-serving energy instead of life-depleting.

So just taking some breaths here,

Receiving inhales and exhales through the nostrils.

So this is an important aspect to really understand when it comes to,

We speak about sacred union,

We speak about sex magic and everybody's excited about that.

This new age obsession with sexuality,

It makes sense because since we are all so suppressed and repressed in many cultures,

Of course,

There is this obsession to step out of shame,

To step out of guilt,

To express ourselves sexually,

To feel excited.

And we've gone very much on the polar side of things to devotion,

Which makes sense because when you suppress something for so long,

It needs to bounce back and go completely the opposite direction first.

But what we're seeing in a lot of spiritual communities is this deep desire to be polyamorous and to be open and to make love to everyone and to be detached to no one.

And this is not a bad path.

I'm not saying that there is a good path and a bad path.

But what I am saying is you have to look at how that energy feels in you.

What does it feel like to constantly give your sexual energy out to multiple people and to not have energy coming back?

Is it depleting you?

So it's important to look at what is your intention when you're having sex?

What is your intention when you're connecting with somebody?

Is your intention to receive something and to receive an exchange,

To receive an orgasm?

Or is your intention to know yourself more deeply,

To know your capital S self more deeply and to know that person more deeply?

And this is what this conversation is about.

I'm not here to share information about how to have better casual sex and how to be less detached to other human beings and how to receive from other human beings without giving.

What I'm here to share is how to be in a devoted union with someone or some people.

If you are deciding to be more polyamorous,

I celebrate you in that.

I've been on that path and it is a beautiful path if done in deep,

Deep integrity.

But it takes very,

Very special,

Secure,

Attached individuals to step onto that path and deeply and devotedly love multiple beings at the same time.

And I haven't seen it done consistently in large communities with many,

Many people.

So the reason I speak to this is because I think that we are in a time where we're starving for connection and we are going out and we are learning to have more and more casual connections and to numb ourselves and to become completely detached to the people that we're connecting with.

And we feel a moment of gratification,

But it very quickly leaves us feeling empty and not empty in the good way that we speak about in Buddhism,

That emptiness between one thought and the next,

Between the inhalation and the exhalation,

That resting place,

But an emptiness of shame and guilt.

And sometimes even those of us that engage in this way,

We might feel dirty.

We might feel,

And I don't like this term when it comes to our sexuality or intimacy,

But we might feel shameful about the sexual connections we have because underneath it we really want love.

And we might not say that we want love,

But we want to be held.

The feminine principle that exists within us wants to be nurtured,

Wants to be held.

And so even though we might go out and have these casual connections,

The feminine principle,

If they're not being honored by the masculine principle,

It's not going to feel like an exchange.

That sacred union isn't happening.

It's not cycling.

It's ping-ponging.

It's like,

You give me,

I give you.

You give me,

I give you.

You give me,

I give you.

And it's like we're having a tennis match with the other principle,

But we're not cycling.

When we cycle in sacred union,

When we give and we keep giving,

The abundance that we have is the orgasmic wave that moves through the body,

That continuously gives to the other person.

And it's in the giving that we become orgasmic.

It's in the giving of like,

I'm giving,

I'm giving,

I'm giving.

And that creates the orgasmic wave through ourselves.

So again,

Take a breath,

Deep breaths in and out.

So it's an important moment to contemplate and to tune in.

How are you using your sexual energy?

If you're in a connection now,

Like how are you working with that sexual energy?

Is it a place where you just want to receive or is it a place that you give?

And do your best to not go into shame.

Not like slut shaming ourselves into,

I can't believe I did that.

Or you know,

Not guilting ourselves if we take.

But understanding that that's our conditioning and we can break it.

And so sacred union is about really being present with the other being that's in front of us as a divine being of God.

You know,

When you look at somebody naked and raw in front of you and realize that they are also God informed,

That's true tantric perspective.

And when we see that in the other person,

We couldn't,

We wouldn't want to exploit them.

We wouldn't want to manipulate them.

We wouldn't want to take from them.

We would want to get down on our knees and bow to them.

We would want to hear their teachings.

We would want to hear what they have to say.

And of course that doesn't mean that give that to every single person that you meet,

Because not each person has done the work where they're deserving of that much energy in that moment.

Because also what comes into play is boundaries.

What is it that you need?

What is it that you need to feel so that you can give that orgasmic energy of just cycling with somebody that is being received and also respected on the other side?

Because if we are people pleasers and if we want to be heroes and caretakers,

We can very quickly get into what we think is a sacred union and just be cycling and still giving to an energy that's not fully showing up,

That's not respectful of the divine nature that we are.

So we need to be discerning.

We need to be discerning,

Very discerning because the power,

The sexual power that we have,

The energy that we have in the godly being that we are is a gift to be cherished.

So first we cherish it about ourselves.

Like,

Wow,

I am this being with arms,

With legs,

With sex,

With genitals,

With this amazing ability to feel and to feel sensual and to feel sexual and to have a relationship to our own sexuality,

To open our bodies,

To do what we need to seek out somatic sex therapist or sexologist to feel comfortable in our own sex,

To feel comfortable with our own sensuality,

To step out of shame and to celebrate how beautiful it is to be this sensual and sexual being,

To step out of shame,

To be confident and proud of that so that when we meet another person who's also done the work that we've discerned as a great partner to practice with,

That we're so excited,

That we're like giddy children raw and naked in front of each other and it's like,

I'm so excited to give to you I want to give pleasure to you,

I want to touch you slowly and softly and I want to ask you your needs and I want to find out what your edges are and I want to know what your wounds are and I want to hold you in that and I want to let you cry and scream and all the things that you need to integrate what you've been to because this is sex magic.

You know,

When we look at tantric practices like yab yum in Tibetan Buddhism and the Vajrayana,

We are devoted to the feminine principle of life and the woman's body is this divine altar.

You know,

When you are coming to the body,

You are coming to this divine altar and you are like laying down your seva,

You are giving something to the altar.

You're not just coming and saying,

What are you going to give me?

You're like,

I'm here to pray,

I'm here to give back.

So it is so important to see like the beauty of two people coming together and choosing to honor the divine godliness in one another,

Like even talking about it gives me chill bumps because when we really find the opportunity for divine union with somebody,

It is mind-blowing.

Time slows down,

Everything gets quiet,

Like the eyes,

Like looking into somebody's eyes when we're in that space,

When we are looking at our body as a place of worship and we're not picking them apart,

We're not in righteousness and we're just together in this rawness.

This is life.

This is like true human life in form,

The masculine and feminine principle together sitting at the altar praying and the energy that runs through our bodies when we show up in that deep,

Deep presence is so profound.

And again,

It gives me chill bumps because there haven't been many moments in my life that I've had that with someone and it is very rare.

It is very easy to go out and have casual sex and meet somebody that will give you a physical experience,

But someone that will give you an energetic and prayerful experience is very,

Very rare.

And so when that opportunity shows up and somebody says to you,

I am willing to be transparent.

I'm willing to put my vulnerability on the line.

I'm willing to show you all of me,

Imperfections and all.

I'm willing to hold space for you and all of your imperfections.

I'm willing to stay and work with you through your wounds.

I am willing to be here,

To give,

To give,

To give,

To give.

This is such a gift.

And so often,

So sadly,

Like when we are in these spaces of coming into intimacy,

We exploit each other.

We abuse each other's boundaries.

We break one another's hearts.

We break one another's trust.

And it is again,

Such a divine lottery to come into connection with deep presence and deep divine union.

So if somebody is willing to step into that with you,

Know that it is a great gift and you have the opportunity to transform your desire into life-serving energy.

You have an opportunity to not just live a human life,

But a very sacred and reverent and godly life in a timeless way,

In an empty space.

And all of you is welcome there.

All of your kinks,

All of your deepest desires and your fantasies,

When you let down,

Like,

I have to be the strong man or I have to be the soft woman,

And you allow yourself to be this non-binary,

Just amazing being that is everything.

And all of you is welcome.

It is the most naked and raw and received you will ever be.

And that's what I desire for people in sacred union and devotion,

Is for you to have all your wildest parts loved and cared for.

And for your fantasies to be heard and for your desires to be spoken.

And so that you come out of shame and you come out of guilt around your sexuality and you just really enjoy yourself in your rawness,

In your divinity,

In your godliness.

So there are different ways to speak to devotional practices in connection to tantric devotional union.

And some you may already know that are,

They're not rocket science,

But they're profound.

The first is just eye-gazing.

And I know the first time that I ever eye-gazed with somebody,

I started crying.

It was absolutely terrifying for me to be seen.

I realized that I'd always kind of looked away or I found ways to look at somebody and then look away and look at them again and like,

You know,

Get distracted.

But the first time I truly just stared into someone's eyes and just like felt them,

It was like I attuned to them.

I breathed with them.

That was tantra.

That was deep presence.

I fell in love with that person.

And it wasn't even an intimate sexual connection.

It just was a being in front of me.

And I was like,

Wow,

If I did this with every single human being on planet earth,

I'd fall in love with every single one of them.

And I'd also realized that falling in love doesn't have to be sexual,

That I fall in love with the God within that being.

And I'm like,

Hey,

Ancient being,

Master of masters,

What message do you have for me?

It was like I started to see the godliness in each person.

The other thing that you can do in relationship is so that eye-gazing,

Sitting down like once a day and eye-gazing and just sitting for two minutes.

You know,

Maybe you wake up in the morning and you sit in silence and you just sit together and you look at each other.

And then maybe you give each other touch and you ask that person,

How do you desire to be touched?

Like what kind of touch would be complimentary to how you're feeling today?

And it doesn't need to be sexual.

And this is something you can do with intimate partners and friends just to create a more tantric relationship with life.

How can you do this for a friend without trying to take from them,

Without making it sexual?

How can you just say,

How can my touch support you today?

You could do shared breathing with someone where you just breathe in and out of the nostrils and you maybe count to four as you inhale,

Count to four as you exhale,

And just sit together in silence and breathe together.

Can also sit in joint meditation together for five to ten minutes a day.

And again,

These are ways,

They're very quick that you can connect with somebody.

So morning connection ritual is important to me when it comes to lovership.

I like to have a morning ritual where there's more silence that we don't speak much.

My partner and I,

We have practices where if I'm coming back from a trip,

He'll pick me up from the airport and we won't speak for a few hours.

We'll just be in each other's presence and just be in silence.

And this is so beautiful because I can feel him more than hear him.

And the way he feels is so much more information giving than what he has to say.

I attune to the silence with him.

There can also be shared journaling that you do with one another.

And again,

This doesn't have to just be in sexual connection.

It can be in just intimate connection with a friend.

You share a journaling prompt of something that's maybe alive for you and you can share them out loud.

You can share with each other what you've written.

Sacred touch again is always there.

Breath is always there.

Taking a walk in nature and also mindful meals,

Meaning that we eat some of us three times a day,

Two or three times a day.

And we sit down and we put the food in,

Boom,

Boom,

Boom,

Very quick.

But what if for two minutes as we sat down,

We envisioned or we spoke out loud this food,

Where it came from and our gratitude for it.

I'll give you a dessert,

Like a love of mine,

Which is I sing to my food or I chant with it.

I have a little drum and I'll sing about what I'm eating.

And so today I had an omelet with a bunch of vegetables and I was like,

Thank you to the lettuce that grew in the ground.

Thank you to the sun that shined all around.

Thank you to the waters that rain down.

I'm grateful to this food as it sits in my body and gives me energy for connection.

So these kinds of practices that bring like play and joy into our relationship to food and our relationship to our partner and relationship to our body.

The same thing,

That tantric relationship to yourself.

Like when you look in the mirror,

I sing to myself like,

You are beautiful.

You are amazing.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

And so these are just fun ways to like,

Let go of,

Am I a good singer?

Am I a good dancer?

But just like dancing and appreciating our body.

For some of us,

We don't have legs that work.

We don't have arms that work.

We don't have eyes that see or ears that hear.

And if we do have all those functions,

Wow.

I think about that each day of,

You know,

When I was younger,

I used to not like my legs.

I wanted to look like the women I saw on TV.

And then at some point I thought,

This is absurd.

I have these legs that travel around,

That walk me around,

That are helping me balance throughout life.

These are amazing.

Like what incredible,

What incredible vessels I have to experience life.

And we spend so much time going,

I hate my hair.

I hate my arms.

I hate my boobs.

I hate my butt.

I hate my penis.

I hate my vagina,

Whatever it might be.

And this is wild for us to say anything like that about ourselves.

No matter what your body looks like,

What your sex looks like,

What you smell like,

If you exist,

You belong.

And so it's so important to come out of shame around anything about our body and really see the godliness of it and accept it with all of its cellulite and its fat and its dryness and its wildness and whatever it might be,

Its smallness,

Bigness,

Thickness,

Skinniness.

And to love this existence because it will be over like that.

One day,

This breath that continues to come,

This breath that gives you life where you're constantly inhaling and you're just given this gift,

That's tantra.

Life is breathing into you in this moment and in this moment and in this moment.

And one day it will not breathe into you again.

And on your last exhale,

You will be looking at your life like,

Wow,

I was alive.

And you will be initiated and you will move into the next transition,

But you won't have a chance to come back into this body and these legs and these arms.

And so many people spend that last moment when they let go,

Regretting all the ways in which they didn't love themselves and they didn't love others.

So I pray for each of you that you enjoy this human existence that you have,

This form that you have,

This wildly sexual,

Sensual,

Amazing,

Beautiful body that you have.

And that if you're feeling numb or dissociated,

That you reach out and that you get help.

If you're feeling like you can't speak your truth,

That you say that.

You tell somebody,

You tell your friend or your partner,

I realize it's really hard for me to speak my truth to you.

And I want to speak my truth to you.

And this is what I need.

Say what you need,

Make boundaries,

Find friends,

Find people,

Guides to help you so that you can fully embody this voice,

This sex,

This mind,

This heart that you have.

And so that you can sit in front of somebody raw and naked and true,

And that you can be received and that you can make love to life,

That you can make love to yourself and that you can be in divine union with life.

Deep breath in.

Deep breath out.

And because you are alive today,

Anything is possible.

I saw this written the other day,

Because you are alive today,

Anything is possible.

So life is still breathing into you.

There is still space for you here.

And you deserve all of the things.

You deserve to be loved and to be pleased.

And you also deserve to give love and to give pleasure,

Because what a gift.

It is such a gift in a world that is very numb and that has a lot of walls for someone to allow you to love them and to give to them is a great honor,

A great gift,

A great place of devotion and prayer.

So I pray for you to have that life,

That deeply devotional,

Divine union.

Reviews

🙏 you put in words the most precious cords..

Love of being

Gentle and seeing

Love of live

Like a beehive

You mesmerise

And truly energise

🌈💓

Thank you for this wonderful talk on how Tantra teaches us reverence for our senses, our bodies and the gift of life.

This really helped me to get out of my mind, and more in touch with the body and its energies . Thank you for bringing me back to Tantra

It so wonderful to hear words that express the desires I have always had but could not put into words myself.