Removing Expectations

How can we receive fully when we place an expecation on what we should be receiving? By "washing" our thoughts, we can wipe our mental slate, so that the full colour of beauty in this world can be seen. Remember, fear does not exist in the outside world, and the colour shines bright regardless - let's make a choice to see them together!

Transcript

Hello,

And welcome to this meditation.

Removing Expectation.

I recently heard it described as this,

That the key is not to care.

And the irony of that,

Or the paradox,

Is that if you do that,

Your ability to care increases tenfold.

It's not so much that we don't care,

It's that we're not so attached to the outcome.

We trust.

We trust in ourselves.

We trust that when we are ourselves,

We will be,

Do,

And become exactly who we are.

Expectation gets in the way you see.

On a practical level,

It hinders enjoyment.

And if there's one thing I've learned and been shown,

Through meditation especially,

Is that this life is supposed to be enjoyed.

We all have periods of clearing that we go through,

Of course.

But the reason we're clearing is to get out of the way.

Remove those processes,

Those blocks.

Remove the gatekeepers in our own mind and emotional experiences.

To allow.

Freedom doesn't come with a medal,

Or fanfare,

Or a certificate.

Comes with a quiet knowing.

A spring in your step.

A lightness in your heart.

This is what I'd like to share with you today.

So if you're sitting comfortably,

Or perhaps you're lying down,

Shuffle your weight a little.

Nestle down.

Become comfortable.

Breathe in.

And breathe out.

If it feels comfortable to do so,

Just place one hand on your heart.

Or one around the area of your belly button.

Feeling the warmth of your hands on your chest and the other area.

With your thoughts,

Or that part of your mind,

Some call it the monkey mind that likes to tick,

Tick,

Tick and think over things.

Give it this task.

Watch the breath.

Breathe in.

And breathe out.

Breathe in.

And breathe out.

We're just going to take some time first before we go deeper.

Just to feel welcome in our bodies.

Because if we want to feel welcome in the world,

We can start by feeling welcome within ourself.

Now I've found this very difficult in the past,

So if you do too today,

Don't worry.

Remember that a lot of meditation is skill based.

And even the word skill is not appropriate.

It's a habit.

It's a retraining.

Away from learnt and adopted habits,

Back to your natural state of freedom.

Just take a couple of minutes now,

And just like we're not judging the breath,

Not judging ourselves,

Any feelings of uncomfortability that come up,

Try not to judge them.

Just become aware.

Because it's that gentle awareness,

That awareness of choice that is the habit we are trying to reinforce.

So breathing in and breathing out for the next five minutes.

With your hands on your body,

Like you're giving yourself a nice hug,

Just take some time to notice how welcome you feel within yourself.

And through the breath and the nourishment you give yourself in that,

Foster some of that feeling.

Form and create that habit.

And be guided by you.

So still breathing in and breathing out.

Having experienced some of that welcomeness in our own bodies,

Our own being,

And our own emotional states.

I'm going to slide gently into the second part of this meditation.

Breathing in and breathing out.

Breathing in and breathing out.

We're going to journey into the make up and architecture of our mind and thoughts.

Now if you can hold your attention in this gentle focus,

I want you to imagine that you've been asked to bake a cake.

Where's the first place that your thoughts went with that?

Was it how am I going to do this?

Did you have an image of the cake in your mind?

Did you consider it an easy or hard task?

Were you excited by it?

Irritated?

Over or underwhelmed?

I know if somebody was to ask me to bake a cake.

As I look at my thoughts and habits right now,

My first reaction instead of response wouldn't be focused on the enjoyment of simply baking the cake.

Because I'd be so attached to the expectation of what I was to produce that I'd miss the process entirely.

If you've got another example that suits your thinking or understanding better,

Run with that because this process is for you and your direct experience.

Feel breathing in and breathing out.

The purpose here is to return ourselves back to the sheer enjoyment of the process.

Just like we mentioned before about not caring,

The thing is that when we focus on the enjoyment of the process,

The result comes as a surprise,

Comes as a gift and pardon the cake pun,

Comes as the cherry on top.

So for the next five minutes,

Using the breath,

Becoming aware gently of your own thoughts around your enjoyment of the process and you can use something specific here,

A task or something that you've got to do,

Something that's pending in your inbox,

Something that you've built up an expectation around.

Remove the end product and let's breathe in and breathe out into that process,

Into your mind and into your thoughts,

Into your belief systems and breathe and nourish your appreciation and gratitude for the process and opportunity to grow and just be.

So breathing in,

Breathing out,

Guide yourself for the next five minutes.

So still breathing in and breathing out,

Carrying whatever you witnessed forward with you,

Owning that memory from direct experience and integrating it into your being and understanding emotionally and mentally into the third part of this meditation.

We've looked at feeling physically welcome in our bodies,

We've looked at the expectation that we carry around our output in life.

Now let's look at the input.

A scarcity mindset will always look to reinforce that things are in lack,

Whether that be in business,

I need more clients,

I need to sell more products,

I need to beat my competitors,

Etc.

Or in our family and intimate relationships,

I haven't got enough time,

That person doesn't love me as much as I love them,

I'm not rewarded for what I do.

Again these expectations move us away from the beauty and simplicity of just being.

The irony again is that if you project inwards and outwards,

The belief that you have to be verified for who you are by what people give you,

You'll receive a lot less in life.

Love is a power that doesn't take from another because it honours the right of each individual to be themselves.

Like the sorting of silt on the river bed,

Everything will settle and follow a flow and be exactly where it needs to be if we remove expectation and get out of the way.

You can be a lot happier in your life,

You can receive love and abundance by removing expectation.

On an emotional and spiritual level,

This is true more so than any other.

Your make up internally and emotionally needs to be pointing to you,

For you to be fulfilled.

If you're waiting on the action of another,

If you're waiting for an external sign,

You'll never receive that verification.

You'll never know what it is to be in your truth and on the right path.

So it's about time I stop talking and reinforcing that just by giving my words and energy to it.

But I do this to illustrate to you how you can change this for yourself.

It's a great affirmation I know and was given by a dear friend.

I lovingly give and receive in equal measure.

You are like a membrane.

A point of interface between your beliefs,

Your thoughts and habits and the way the world reacts to you and you form your reality.

So in terms of input on what you receive,

Let's enjoy it.

Let's focus on the enjoyment and the gratitude.

So that expectation is a concept,

Well it seems like it never existed at all.

You can use the affirmation in the next five minutes if you want to.

I lovingly give and receive in equal measure.

But again,

You're at the helm,

You're in the driving seat and you're breathing in and breathing out and just bringing your conscious awareness to reprogramming your being to just being yourself and receiving that love that surrounds you.

So still breathing in and breathing out.

Accepting and letting all that you've seen,

Witnessed and felt just absorb deep into your body.

Breathing in and breathing out.

And as you move forward from this meditation in a moment to the rest of your day,

Just welcome you to contemplate this and be conscious of it.

Try to respond instead of react.

Try to be conscious instead of reactive.

Try to enjoy yourself,

But that is what you came here to do.

So taking some deeper breaths,

Breathing really deeply in and really letting go on that out breath of anything that doesn't serve you anymore.

Really being kind and just coming back to your body slowly,

Wriggling your fingers or wriggling your toes,

Giving your arms a little stroke perhaps and your legs and just opening your eyes in your own good time.

Remember,

There's always a choice,

Always a chance to come back into the folds of love and be yourself.

Thanks for joining me today and well done.

See you again soon.

Bye.

Reviews

This was such a lovely calming soothing meditation 🧘🏻 for me. Thank you.

Thank you. A great meditation & reflection to start my day 🙏💗🙏💗🙏💗

Great reminder to remember who you really are and what person you want to become...tomorrow !!!

Very helpful. Nice balance between guidance and space for introspection. Thank you 🙏

An amazing meditation! Initially I thought it might be too long for me as I usually go for 20 min at a time but the pace was great and we are given times of silence to practice meditating with the concepts. Wonderful!!! Thank you for your gift 🎁

This was definitely a needed meditation for me. I had to listen to it a couple of times to chew on it for a bit. I often get in my own way because of my expectations and need for validation which often leads to disappointment instead of just being and enjoying life. Thank you again... And now I'm wanting to bake a cake for some reason

Lovely mixture of bell, Melody, instruction, and self guided quiet time.

Beautiful! A meditation full of insights and practical tips

Very helpful. Dropping expectations and raising acceptance are ongoing goals for me. This was a delightful guided meditation. Thanks!

Loving each mediation I am doing. I love how you take it step by step, bringing it into our bodies and feeling it. And taking it all back to Love. The core of our existence. Namaste 🙏🏻

I loved the journey! Feeling more in my body and less in my expectations. Those things can be hard to let go of. This sure was a breath of fresh air to the removal or right sizing of them. Thanks!

I love the way this made me feel. Thank you for keeping it clear and simple. Well done

Wow Oliver, I loved how you brought cheerfulness, clarity, encouragement and humility into a skilfully arranged three step meditation! I feel a whole lot more aware of how I've been short circuiting myself and getting in my own way, and how to make a different choice. Thank you.

Wonderful wonderful meditation. Just what I needed. Thank you. 🙏

Wow!!! Thank you só much!! I will always remember this meditation as a most important compass in a joyous life.

Powerful paradox to contemplate.
Love your relatable analogies.

This practice changed my life. I suffer from panic attacks and I woke up immediately after it was over. I felt inspired and relaxed to continue my day and take care of myself. Forever grateful for Oliver!

So moving. Exactly what I needed today… the perfect balance of guidance & reflection. Thank you

Worth the space this creates for wisdom. Thank you 🙏🏼

Thanks very much. May the joy be with you. Nàmaste🤗