You know,
I've been thinking a lot lately about this idea of the shadow self.
It's not some spooky,
Scary thing,
Not like a monster that's hiding in the closet,
But it's actually a lot more ordinary than that.
It refers to the parts of ourselves that we try really hard not to show the world or actually even to ourselves.
Like,
Have you ever noticed how you get this flash of anger or jealousy or even just that little whisper inside that says,
Oh,
Why not me?
And almost immediately there's another voice that jumps in with shame saying,
You're not supposed to feel that.
You should be above that.
You should know better.
And I'm here because I really just want to tell you that that doesn't make you bad.
It doesn't mean you're failing at being spiritual or kind or evolved.
That's just your humanity showing itself.
And actually the shadow can be such a gift if you stop pushing it away long enough to listen.
I'll give you an example of my own life.
There are moments where I feel envy,
Jealousy,
Especially when I see someone doing something that I want to do,
But maybe I'm not there yet.
Maybe they're teaching a retreat in some beautiful place or publishing a book or building a community that looks really alive.
And then my first reaction is to judge myself.
You should be above this.
You teach yoga,
You meditate,
You're supposed to be spiritual.
And then I feel this sense of guilt for even having the envy in the first place.
But if I actually pause,
If I sit with it instead of running away,
I realize the envy is telling me something that is not there to punish me,
But that it might just be there to guide me.
That it's trying to say,
Hey,
There's a longing inside you.
There's something you want.
Pay attention.
And that longing is valid.
It doesn't make me weak.
It just means that there is a part of me still tugging for more expression or more life or more growth.
So what I try to do is imagine that part of me is like a younger version of myself.
A little kid tugging at my sleeve saying,
Hey,
I need something.
And when I see it that way,
Instead of getting hard or judgmental,
I soften and I listen.
And honestly,
That to me is shadow work.
Not about fixing yourself or erasing all your so-called bad parts.
It's about bringing them into the light with compassion.
Because when you bring them from out of hiding,
They're not running the show in secret anymore.
And here's another way the shadow shows up in our triggers.
You know that moment when someone just pushes all your buttons?
Maybe it's the way they talk or how confident they seem or how careless they act.
And you feel this surge inside you like,
Oh,
I can't stand that person.
That's usually the shadow.
Because often we judge most harshly in others.
What we judge most harshly in others is something we've disowned in ourselves.
For me,
It's arrogance.
When I see someone who feels really full of themselves,
I immediately feel irritated.
But if I peel it back,
What I actually see is I'm comfortable with my own confidence.
I grew up thinking I had to be humble,
Quiet,
Accommodating.
So when I see someone who just owns their power out loud,
It triggers me.
Not because they are wrong,
But because part of me wishes I could allow myself that same freedom.
And so again,
The shadow isn't the enemy.
It's just holding up a mirror,
Showing me where I still have growth or where I still haven't given up.
Where I still haven't given myself permission.
The beauty of this practice of welcoming in the shadow is that it really frees us.
Think of how much energy we spend trying to push things down,
Trying to pretend that we don't feel what we feel.
All that energy is like keeping a beach ball underwater.
You can do it for a while.
But eventually it pops back up and oftentimes it creates a bit of a mess.
But if instead you say,
All right,
I see you.
What are you trying to tell me?
You don't have to fight anymore.
You reclaim that energy and you can use it for creativity,
For relationships,
For showing up more fully in your life.
And maybe that's the invitation here.
Next time you feel that surge of anger,
Jealousy,
Insecurity,
Whatever it is.
Instead of going,
Oh,
Not this again,
Try softening,
Try saying,
Okay,
I see you.
What are you showing me?
But don't expect an immediate answer.
Just let the question open something inside you.
Because the truth is that integration doesn't happen overnight.
It's a lifelong relationship with yourself.
But every time you meet your shadow with compassion instead of judgment,
You take one step closer to wholeness.
And isn't that what we all want at the end of the day?
To feel whole,
To not have to hide,
To walk through the world knowing that every single part of us belongs.
The parts that we deem messy,
The parts we once thought were unlovable.
All of them.
So if there's something that you take from this brief talk today,
Let it be this,
That your shadow is not your enemy,
It's your teacher.
It's the younger parts of you still longing to be seen.
And when you welcome it in,
You might just find that you feel more like yourself than ever before.
Thank you for listening.
And I hope that you can also check out some of my meditations,
My breathwork sessions,
And that you find something beneficial in any of them.
Namaste.
