Why You're Stressed At Work - 3 Causes You Need To Know

Does it seem like stress at work is inevitable? If you understand why you're stressed at work, then you can finally address the subconscious beliefs that are causing your stress. It's possible to feel calm, relaxed, confident, or even joyous at work even while you stay in the same job.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Noah Elkrief and I want to ask you a question.

How do you feel at work?

How do you feel when you're working on a project,

When you're giving a presentation,

When you're creating something?

Do you feel relaxed?

Do you often feel like you're in the flow?

Do you feel an ease about it?

Do you feel confident?

Do you feel motivated,

Alive?

For most of us,

The answer is no,

Not very often.

For most adults,

Yeah,

We feel stressed,

Inadequate,

Anxious,

And a lot of pressure when we're working.

Maybe we feel more pressure in some elements of our job than others,

More giving presentations,

Or more when we're working on some aspect of our job where we're going to be assessed,

Yeah,

When there's a potential to win or lose,

Or when there's a deadline.

Why is this the case?

Why is it so normal and seemingly inevitable that we feel stress,

Anxiety,

And pressure?

Well,

A few of the causes start from school.

Yeah,

I'm gonna mention three causes here in this video,

And the first one is that in school we are motivated through the fear of punishment.

So when you were in middle school,

When you were in high school,

Did you want to be working on math?

Did you want to be doing your reading assignments or writing essays?

Did you want to be doing your science homework?

Oftentimes,

We don't want to do it.

We want to be playing.

We're not interested in the subject,

Or we want to be playing with our friends,

Or we want to be watching TV,

Or playing video games.

We don't want to be doing the work,

But yet we're forced to do it anyhow through fear of punishment.

Now,

This punishment could be something immediate,

Like our parents will ground us if we don't,

Our teachers will give us detention if we don't,

Or maybe it's a little bit more emotional.

They will look down on us,

Look at us with disappointment,

Or judge us if we get a bad grade,

Or they'll threaten us in some long-term punishment that you'll never succeed,

You'll never make money,

You'll never find a husband or a wife if you don't graduate,

Or if you don't get into a good college.

There's all sorts of threats and ideas of punishment that are placed into us to motivate us to do our work.

We're not doing our work in school because we want to,

Because we're interested,

And passionate,

And excited.

We're doing it out of fear of punishment,

Fear of future pain,

And so therefore we're motivating ourselves,

Or they're motivating us,

Through fear.

So fear of a bad outcome motivates us,

Energizes us,

And it ends up happening so often this way that it becomes normalized,

That the only way we know how to motivate ourselves is through anxiety and fear.

So then as an adult,

When we have an upcoming presentation,

Or project,

Or deadline,

We actually try to make ourselves feel anxious and afraid,

Because that's how we motivate ourselves.

We'll tell us everything will be so bad if it fails,

It will be so miserable if it doesn't work out,

To try to push ourselves to put forth effort towards the work.

But that's wild,

Insane even.

We forget that it's possible to be motivated through joy,

Passion,

Interest,

Confidence,

Flow,

Ease.

And school normalizes this motivation through anxiety,

Instead of through intuition,

Desire,

And other beautiful,

Other motivating forces.

The second cause of why we feel anxiety at work that comes from school has to do with how we're treated when we perform well.

So do you remember a time in school when you did really,

Really well?

You got a great grade on an exam,

You got a perfect grade in the class.

How are you treated?

How are you treated by your teachers?

How are you treated by your parents?

How are you treated by your classmates?

For so many of us,

Particularly the overachievers,

We are treated with more love when we performed great,

And less love when we didn't.

So maybe we weren't insulted or punished if we did bad,

Or not perfect if we got a B,

Or an 80%,

Or 90% in class.

But we were given more love,

Right?

We were given hugs,

Or gold stars,

Or some sort of reward emotionally or physically when we performed well.

And what that teaches us,

Unconsciously,

Is in order to get love,

I have to perform great,

Or perfect.

In order to get this great approval,

And validation,

And rewards,

I have to perform great.

Which is simultaneously teaching us,

I don't deserve love and rewards if I'm not great,

Amazing,

Perfect.

And so what that's doing is it's training us to seek our self-worth,

Right?

Because when we're young,

We have to,

We perceive our self-worth through how others treat us.

So if they treat us better and more lovingly when we perform well in our class,

Then we assume I must be more worthy of love if I get a good grade.

And so what this is doing is setting us up for a lifetime of seeking our self-worth through our performance.

So then it's no surprise that in our careers,

We're trying to succeed,

Succeed,

Succeed,

Be the best,

Be the best,

Be perfect,

To prove I'm worthy,

To prove I'm smart,

To prove I'm great,

To prove I'm the most knowledgeable,

To prove I'm better than others,

Whatever it is.

And this creates a tremendous amount of pressure.

Pressure.

Because every assignment,

Every possible promotion,

Every project,

New project,

Every client meeting is the potential to prove that I'm good enough,

Worthy of love,

Acceptable,

Or means I'm not.

It's a lot,

A lot of pressure.

It is really normal,

Especially for overachievers,

But it's not natural or enjoyable.

And the third cause of anxiety at work that started in school is that within school systems,

The most important thing is success,

Right?

They're trying to train us to get to the next grade,

To get to college,

To get to med school,

To get to CEO,

Whatever it is.

They're trying to prepare us for that.

Every bit of time and energy,

Or the vast majority of it,

Is to prepare us for the next level in our sort of promotion,

If you will.

However,

There is very little,

If any,

Attention and energy given to our happiness.

There's not much energy and time given to what makes you happy,

Working on your thoughts,

What emotions do you have that are painful,

How do you feel.

It's not about that.

School isn't about how to make us happy.

It's about how to make us progress within the school and then career system.

Promote,

Promote,

Promote.

And what that does to us as children unconsciously is it's programming us and training us that success is the most important thing,

Right?

If I'm in this institution where all the teachers and administrators,

And then by extension perhaps largely our parents,

When everyone focuses on success,

Success,

Success,

Then it's training us that success is the most important thing in life,

Which means happiness,

My emotions,

My health is secondary.

And what happens when that's our prioritization in life?

Well,

We end up spending a lot more time working than we do enjoying ourselves.

And then when we're working,

We don't even care about our own joy and happiness.

We care about progressing to the next level,

Not about how good we feel,

How peaceful,

How happy,

How relaxed,

How flowing,

How confident we feel.

And this really just messes us up.

It's setting us up for a lifetime of normalized unhappiness.

So this is why I created my course,

Reclaim Your Naturally Joyous Self,

By deprogramming from the education system.

The purpose of this course is to get you back to the naturally authentic,

Joyous,

Light,

Vibrant,

Confident,

Authentic way of being that we had as children,

Right?

Where we're just,

If we're building a sandcastle,

We're not feeling this pressure for it to be amazing.

We're just in the flow,

In the joy of it.

Yeah,

There's no self-criticism.

There's no,

It needs to be so good,

Otherwise I'll be punished.

None of that.

This is programmed into us in school.

So if you want to feel,

Maybe you don't even know it's possible to feel,

But it is possible to feel confident in your work.

Ease,

Flow,

Relaxation,

To have more beautiful work-life balance,

To be able to relax without feeling the need to be productive in every moment.

If this is something you desire,

Then this course could be really amazing for you,

Really helpful for you.

So if you're filled with anxiety,

Stress,

And pressure in your career,

I invite you to click the link below,

Or somewhere around here,

And join the course.

Learn more about it.

It starts December 12th,

And you are so,

So welcome on it.

I hope to see you there.

Bye.