Why All Your Emotions Are Completely Logical

This track is for you if ever think that your emotions are illogical, you shouldn't be feeling how you're feeling, or there's something wrong with you for feeling how you do. There is always a logical explanation for why you feel how you do.

Transcript

Hello,

I'm Noah Elkrief,

And today I have a very simple message for you.

All of your emotions are completely logical.

None of your emotions are stupid,

Wrong,

Defective,

Illogical,

And things along those lines.

So many times in my past and with many people that come to me,

When they're experiencing an emotion,

They think they shouldn't be,

That they're somehow defective or bad for feeling that emotion.

Like for example,

If you're feeling anxiety at the grocery store when you're talking to the cashier or bumping into somebody you haven't seen in a while,

You might feel intense anxiety.

And then your mind says,

What the hell's wrong with me for having anxiety in this situation?

There's nothing dangerous happening here.

There's nothing to be afraid of.

Clearly I'm defective.

Or maybe you feel lonely when you're around people and you're like,

What's wrong with me?

I'm not supposed to feel lonely when I'm around people.

Or maybe you feel worthless and inadequate,

Even though you're incredibly successful.

So naturally you think,

I'm clearly messed up.

I shouldn't feel worthless when I'm successful.

Or maybe you complain all the time.

You feel always like something's not good enough about your life,

Even though mentally you know there's so much to be grateful for in your life.

So you think I'm stupid or bad or ungrateful for having such negativity,

Even though my environment is so great.

That's not nice when we judge our emotions.

That's not nice when we feel like I'm defective or bad or stupid or weird or miswired for having whatever emotion I'm experiencing.

Because as soon as we think our emotion is in the wrong place,

We're going to judge that emotion.

We're going to reject that emotion.

And then we're either going to push it down,

Make ourselves wrong for having it,

Or try to heal it from a place of rejection.

So we try to get rid of our anxiety,

Get rid of our loneliness,

Get rid of our sadness or unworthiness from a place of hate.

Like I hate you.

Get out of me.

You don't belong here.

Get out of me.

But when we try to heal our emotions,

When we try to get rid of our emotions,

Release our emotions,

Fix our emotions from a place of rejection,

It doesn't work so well.

It's very hard to see clearly the roots of our emotional pain when we're rejecting our emotions and hating our emotions,

Viewing them as signals of our defectiveness and inadequacy.

So to give you an example of what I mean of how emotions are logical,

Right,

How all emotions are logical,

Imagine for a moment that a song comes on the radio.

Let's say you're with a group of people at work or friends and a song comes on the radio.

And when that song comes on,

All of a sudden you start to smile.

You start to beam because this was a song that you have a really positive memory association with.

Like maybe this song was playing when you were having your birthday party when you were 16 and you felt so happy and you haven't heard this song in 10 years and when it comes on you're so happy.

Maybe everybody looks at you like you're weird and strange because why are you so happy all of a sudden?

Why are you so joyous?

They don't understand that association,

Right?

They might think you're strange.

You might think,

But you know it makes sense because you understand the connection.

So I have this positive emotion that nobody else in the room is having because I have an association with these sounds,

With this song that nobody else in the room is having.

So you don't judge yourself because you understand the connection.

Now imagine it was a negative emotion.

So imagine the song that comes on the radio is actually a song that you and an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend used to listen to all the time.

Now when you listen to that song,

You might immediately feel lonely or sad or stressed that you'll never find anyone ever again.

And if everyone were to look at you,

They might think you're strange.

You're weird because you have this emotion that none of us else do.

It's just a song,

Right?

It's just a song.

If they don't understand the connection between the song and your emotion,

They'll think you're weird or defective.

But because you understand the connection,

You don't feel weird or defective.

This song just reminds me of something that automatically brought up pain.

I didn't need to think about it.

It just triggered pain in me.

But what if you didn't understand the connection?

What if a song came on the radio and it triggered sadness or loneliness but you didn't understand why?

Now all of a sudden,

As soon as you don't understand what the connection is and nobody around you seems to have that emotion,

You think I'm strange or I'm weird or I'm defective.

Why would that song do that to me?

And this is what we're constantly living with.

We're constantly in environments that are triggering pain in us,

But we don't understand how it started.

We don't understand the association that's creating it.

So if you talk to someone at work and it triggers your inadequacy,

There's a reason why.

If you're speaking in front of a group and you have massive fear,

There's a reason why.

If you listen to a song and it triggers loneliness,

There's a reason why.

If you have everything amazing in your life but you feel unhappy and lacking,

There's a reason why.

If you're with people and you feel lonely,

There's a reason why.

And just because you don't understand the reason,

Just because you don't understand the connection,

It doesn't mean it's not there,

Hidden beneath the surface,

In your unconscious.

So for example,

If you're with people,

You might think,

I should never feel lonely when I'm with people.

It doesn't make any sense.

Loneliness is caused by being by yourself.

That's not really true.

So perhaps as a child,

When you were around your mom or your dad or friends,

They weren't listening to you,

They ignored you,

They weren't caring about you,

And that can be on many levels.

So it might be they were ignoring you,

Just talking amongst themselves.

It might be that when you were talking,

They were looking at you and listening on one level but not deeply understanding you or caring or connecting to your emotional state.

And therefore,

If you find yourself around people who aren't paying attention to you or are listening but not deeply enough,

You can feel lonely and disconnected even when you're surrounded by people.

If you feel anxiety when you're around women,

You might think,

Why am I scared?

They're not dangerous.

Of course,

They're not dangerous here and now,

But what is it reminding you of?

Perhaps when you were a child,

Our safety is dependent on our mothers for most of us,

And therefore,

If mom ever got angry,

Upset,

Harsh tone,

Reject us,

Turn away,

Not care for us in a certain moment,

We're literally in danger,

Physically in danger.

So it would make sense for us then to feel scared,

Right?

Well,

If we never allowed that emotion to come out,

If we buried some of it because it was too intense for us to fully experience and express,

Well,

Then it can get triggered when we're around a woman.

We unconsciously associate this woman with our mother,

And therefore,

If she rejects us,

Ignores us,

Is harsh to us,

We can feel really,

Really scared.

So it's very logical for us to be afraid because we associate this woman with our mother.

You understand?

For example,

I have many clients who are successful financially or in their careers,

But they feel massively unworthy.

They have so much accomplishments,

But yet they still feel unworthy and inadequate.

Like it doesn't make sense.

You know,

I'm a CEO,

Or I have millions,

Or whatever it is.

Why should I feel unworthy?

Why do I still feel inadequate?

Well,

When we're a child,

We might feel inadequate relative to our father or our mother or our older brother or older sister.

They might be smarter than us,

And we feel worse.

It might be that when we get a B on an exam,

Our parents are a little harsh towards us,

And then we feel inadequate.

We're not good enough.

It might be when we're playing sports.

They're always telling us to be better.

Might just be like not specific,

But a big job for the parents is to help us develop,

To help us to grow,

To learn,

To become more functional in every aspect of our being.

And sometimes the way that works out is that they're always trying to improve us.

They're always trying to make us better and never just letting us be as we are.

So it can be a really,

Really deep programming that I'm not enough.

I'm not good enough to deserve love.

And even if you change the outside environment,

If our whole life were programmed that we're not enough,

That we have to be better to get the full love,

The hug,

The approval,

The relaxation,

Then no matter how much success we get on the outside,

We're never going to feel like enough.

So these are just a couple of examples,

But every single emotion you experience is logical.

Every single emotion you experience has a connection to something that happened in your life.

Everything about the here and now reminds your system unconsciously or consciously of something that happened in the past,

Otherwise you wouldn't be in pain unless there was actually something in the moment that was causing you pain.

We're like these automated memory beings that like things are just constantly activating old memories,

Old pains that haven't been healed,

Released,

Integrated,

Taken care of.

And I'm here simply with the message that none of it signifies that you're bad or wrong or defective or emotionally poorly wired.

Sometimes it can seem that way when we don't understand the connection.

Sometimes it can seem that way when everybody around us seems to have no emotion or less emotion or not the same emotion as us.

But maybe I'm triggered when I am around tall people and maybe you're triggered around short people.

Maybe I'm triggered around spiritual people and maybe you're triggered around business people.

Our triggers are based on our unique history.

So if you have a different trigger than the people around you,

It just means you have a different history.

And so much of the time,

Because we judge our emotions to be signs of defectiveness,

Stupidity,

Unworthiness,

Unlovability,

We hide them from others.

So you might think you're the only one that feels anxiety or inadequacy or loneliness in a particular setting,

But it's very possible,

If not probable,

That a very large percentage of the other people feel the same way and just aren't expressing it.

Just like they may not know you have that emotion,

You may not know they have that emotion because we're all hiding our emotions,

Hoping nobody sees.

Because if they were to see our emotions,

They would know how defective,

Stupid,

Weird,

Strange,

Messed up we are.

But our emotions aren't a sign of our messed upness.

Our emotions are beautiful and lovable and okay and logical and just need to be taken care of so we can feel the fullness of joy,

Love,

Connection,

Adventure,

Play,

And all that good stuff that we want to in this life.

So it feels that's the end of what's coming through me.

So I hope it softens your relationship towards your emotions,

And I hope that you have a really wonderful day.

And I'd love to hear about your experience in the comments from watching this video.

And please feel free to share or subscribe if you feel like it.

Okay,

Bye.

Reviews

The thoughts shared in this short audio are a fantastic resource for people who need a little self compassion. Our emotions are a deep part of us and there for a reason. Great reminder for those who can be hard on themselves and how they feel.

Thank you.