How To Stop Procrastinating - Finally Be Productive

This talk will help you to stop procrastinating by addressing the mental and emotional causes of procrastination. I provide you with insights that are designed to address the roots of your procrastination so that you can be productive more easily in the future.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Noah Elkrieff and in this video I'm going to show you how to stop procrastinating.

And in the process of showing you how to do that,

I'm also going to help you to stop feeling bad about yourself when you do procrastinate and how to stop being filled with internal conflict,

This war of trying to do your work but yet wanting to procrastinate and you know that familiar struggle.

So in order to stop procrastinating,

We first have to look at what procrastinating is.

So we know it as delaying what I want to be doing or I should be doing.

But beyond that,

Look in your own life.

Do you ever procrastinate eating ice cream,

Watching TV,

Playing a sport,

Dancing or doing anything that you love?

No,

Of course not.

You don't procrastinate what you enjoy.

On the other hand,

Do you ever procrastinate doing your taxes,

Doing your homework,

Working on a project,

Cleaning the dishes,

Cleaning your room?

Of course,

These are the things we procrastinate because these are most often the things that we don't enjoy.

So what is procrastinating?

Avoiding what you don't enjoy or in other words,

Avoiding suffering.

So that's actually quite logical.

Of course we're going to avoid suffering.

Of course we're going to immediately do what we enjoy.

That makes sense,

Doesn't it?

So when you apply the normal methods of how to stop procrastinating,

They usually have to do with time management or trying harder or things like that.

But you can't force yourself to do it now most of the time because you're not addressing the reason why you're avoiding it.

And all the time management tactics in the world won't be enough if you're avoiding it because it makes you suffer.

So what do you do about it?

Well,

It depends on what specific suffering you have around the task,

Activity or issue.

So broadly speaking,

There are five major reasons why people procrastinate.

And I'm going to go over each of them real quick and then I'm going to go into each one of them in more detail to show you how to get rid of it,

How to lose it.

So the five major reasons why we procrastinate are one,

Because it's overwhelming.

So we have so much to do we don't know where to start and it overwhelms our mind.

Two,

Because the previous time we did it,

We didn't enjoy it.

We were unhappy while doing it.

So now we're avoiding it because we remember it as something unenjoyable.

The third reason is because our mind tells us some story about how it will make us suffer and how it won't be good for us.

The fourth reason is because we have some suffering now that could be completely unrelated to the task.

And so we want to avoid that suffering and we immediately go into distractions like TV,

Internet and things along those lines.

And five,

The fifth reason is because the task just isn't the right fit for us.

So now let's look at how to lose each one of those reasons,

Each one of those causes for procrastination.

For the first reason,

Avoiding something because it's overwhelming,

The way to get around that is by breaking down the big task into small little tasks.

Focus on where to start,

The first thing to do,

Rather than thinking of all the things you have to do.

And the way to really handle that is to not keep it in your head,

But put it down on paper.

Break down all the things you have to do and pick one to do now.

Focus on one thing,

Where to start.

When you think of all the things at the same time,

Your mind is very busy and you can't focus on one and it becomes overwhelming and kind of scary in a sense.

So in order to not avoid it,

In order to not be scared by it and overwhelmed by it,

Focus on one task,

Focus on where to start rather than all the things you need to do and write it down.

The second reason why we procrastinate is because we're avoiding something that was previously unenjoyable.

So in that situation,

If the last time you did your work,

A specific task,

Whatever,

It was unenjoyable,

The reason why you avoid it is because you think the task or activity itself was unenjoyable,

But it wasn't.

What happened was you were unhappy while doing the task and then you think the task made you unhappy,

But it didn't,

No matter what the task was.

What made you unhappy was your thoughts in that situation.

In those moments that you were doing the task,

You had some story in your head that was making you unhappy.

The way to see that it's not the task itself that was making you unhappy is because probably in some moments while doing that task,

You were fully immersed in it and you weren't suffering,

Or somebody else could be doing that task and they're not suffering.

So in order to not procrastinate or to stop procrastinating doing an activity that you previously didn't enjoy or that you were previously unhappy in,

Is to really identify what thoughts were making you suffer while doing that task and then recognize how they're not true so they stop impacting you and stop making you unhappy.

So the most common,

I'll go over now,

The most common thoughts that make you unhappy while doing a particular task,

And it's mostly focused on work because it seems that work is the things we procrastinate most often.

So the most common one is,

Or one of the most common ones is while doing the task,

You have anxiety.

So you might have anxiety of,

It would be bad if I don't get this done on time,

Or it would be bad if my boss doesn't like it,

Or it would be bad if it doesn't work out how I want basically,

If I don't get the new client,

If I lose somebody,

If something happens.

So it's some variation of it would be bad if.

And when you tell that story in your head,

It creates anxiety and stress,

And then you think the stress is caused by the actual activity that you're engaged in,

But it's not,

It's created by the story.

And the way to lose the anxiety is to discover you don't know whether it would be bad for that particular outcome to occur.

So if you're thinking it would be bad,

Let's say you're preparing for a client presentation,

So you think it would be good if I get the client,

Bad if I don't.

But how do you know that?

Can you think of any reasons why it might be good for you or your business?

You think it would be good if you're writing a book,

It would be good for it to sell a lot and bad for it to sell a little.

How do you know?

It would be good if I get it done,

This task done by this amount of time,

And bad if it takes that long.

How do you know?

Can you think of a few reasons as to why the opposite could be true?

When you recognize you don't know whether it would be bad or good for the outcome you want to happen,

Then you lose that story and you lose the anxiety that goes with it.

Does that make sense?

The second reason or the second thought that makes us suffer in our job or while doing anything is a thought that says,

I'm not good enough.

While doing the task,

We have these insecure thoughts of,

I'm not going to be able to get this done.

I'm not smart enough.

I'm not quick enough.

So when those thoughts pop up in your head,

Ask yourself,

Do I know that to be true?

Do I know I won't get it done?

Do I know I'm not smart enough?

Do I know I'm not capable of this?

Haven't I done it before?

Is it possible that I'm capable of it?

How do I know?

And even if you're not capable,

If the answer is,

You know what,

No,

I really am not capable.

So you might discover you are capable and you might discover,

No,

I'm really not capable of getting this done.

So if you're not capable then,

You can work on how to make yourself capable.

You can tell your boss I'm not capable if that seems appropriate.

Or most importantly,

Most fundamentally,

You can recognize that not being capable of this particular task doesn't mean you are bad in any way.

You see,

We don't pick our intellect.

We don't control our memory.

We don't control our tasks or our skills,

Right,

To a degree.

Look at that.

You didn't pick what intellect you have.

It doesn't mean anything about you.

You didn't pick your memory.

If you have a certain skill set,

Right,

So you did decide in some way to put forth time into developing a certain skill or not.

So if you don't have the skill that's required in order to get a task done,

Does that mean you're worse than someone who has that skill?

No.

You have some skills,

They have some skills.

You have some qualities,

They have some qualities on some level,

Right?

What makes knowing one skill better than knowing another skill?

Doesn't mean anything about you.

It's a skill,

Right?

It doesn't mean anything about you.

The third common thought that makes us suffer while we're doing our work is comparisons.

So basically when you're in your job,

It is incredibly common for people to compare what they're doing to their fantasy,

Right?

So you might compare it to your fantasy of a job that has purpose,

A job that has meaning,

A job that reaches my full potential,

Or not a job.

It would be better to be on a beach somewhere.

So the reason why that creates suffering is as soon as you believe your fantasy to be the way for you to be happy,

As soon as you believe your fantasy is the key to happiness,

You automatically believe this moment is insufficient and lacking,

And then you feel like something's missing from your life.

And that creates boredom,

Lack,

And just unhappiness.

So when a fantasy comes of it would be great if I had this job that has purpose or meaning or being there,

Ask yourself,

What do I want most in life?

What is the number one most important thing to me?

Is it purpose and meaning and living on a beach?

Or is it peace?

Because if the answer is peace,

Which it is for everyone I've come into contact with,

Right,

But most people aren't willing to see that or aren't ready to see that,

If you want peace more than anything else,

Then you'll discover that,

Well then the next question is can purpose or meaning or beach give you peace?

It seems as though the answer might be yes,

But that misunderstands the question.

What makes you suffer?

What prevents you from being in peace?

Thoughts.

Thoughts that give you anxiety,

Thoughts that make you worry about others' opinions,

Thoughts that make you feel insecure,

Thoughts that compare yourself to others,

Thoughts that compare this moment to your fantasy.

So if you achieve your fantasy,

No matter what it is,

The dream job,

The dream meaning,

The dream purpose,

The dream beach,

The dream house,

Any of it,

It doesn't have the ability to eliminate the thoughts that make you suffer.

So why would you give attention to a fantasy that can't give you what you want?

When you discover that achieving your fantasy can't give you peace,

Then you automatically stop giving attention to it.

You can still pursue it with all your effort,

But there won't be anxiety or lack associated with it because the only reason we have anxiety is if we think one outcome would be better than another.

And the only reason we care about what outcome is better than another is if we innocently believe that achieving one outcome would result in happiness and one outcome would result in suffering.

But what outcome you have out there doesn't impact your peace because it doesn't change the thoughts in your head.

If in this moment you're comparing what you're doing to your fantasy,

In the next moment you're going to do the same thing in a year,

In ten years.

No matter what you change out there or in your job,

Which is your hand movements,

You're not going to change the thoughts in your head if you never even look at them,

If you ever even deal with them.

There's no such thing as purpose or meaning,

As something real.

No matter what job you're doing,

How would you know you have purpose or meaning or potential?

You're reaching your potential.

There is a story in your head.

There is no point where you can find potential or meaning or purpose on your body or on the job.

There's a story.

If you're in a job and you are,

Let's say you think all of the money you're making for the company is going to make the owner really,

Really rich,

Then you'll feel my job doesn't have meaning,

My job doesn't have purpose,

It's just making one guy rich.

But what happens if he's giving all of his money to charity and you don't know about it?

Would you feel different?

No,

Because you don't know about it.

You don't feel what's actually happening,

You feel your thoughts about it.

If you work in a charity and you think,

I'm doing such good work,

But what if the head of the charity is really taking all the money for himself and not giving it?

If you don't know about it,

Which means you don't think about it,

Then you don't feel that anything bad,

You feel my life has so much purpose.

The amount of purpose or meaning you feel is not related to what you are doing,

It is related to the story in your head.

So when you think you have purpose or meaning,

It is never enough to actually make you feel fulfilled and happy because it doesn't affect all the other thoughts in your head and it's not real,

So it never feels like enough.

So put simply,

Taking a step back,

One of the major causes of suffering while doing anything is comparing this moment to your fantasy.

And the way to eliminate the sense of lack that that creates is to discover that your fantasy can't make you happy because it can't get rid of the thoughts in your head.

Now moving on to the third fundamental reason why we procrastinate.

That is because a thought tells us something about the future which makes us think that we will suffer from doing the task.

It is slightly different than what we spoke about before.

So the most common thing perhaps in this category is the fear of failure.

So we think,

Well what happens is if you think it would be better for you to achieve one outcome than another one,

Then you automatically are afraid of not achieving the best case scenario.

Not even more than being afraid of that outcome.

We are afraid about what it means about me.

So let's say it's starting your own business or actually writing a book.

So let's say you write a book.

So best case scenario it sells millions of copies,

Worst case scenario it sells nothing.

So you think selling a lot will make you happier and selling less will make you less happy.

So that creates fear.

But the real strength of fear comes from if I sell a lot of books that means I am great and if I don't sell a lot of books that means I am not.

So that is a fear of failure because of what it means about me.

So the way to avoid that fear is,

Well the way that we tend to avoid that fear is by not giving our all.

So if I give 100% effort towards writing this book and getting it out there and nobody buys it it means I am not good enough according to the story in our head.

But if we only give 60% effort towards it then we have an excuse for why.

If it fails and nobody buys it we have an excuse.

I didn't give all my effort.

That's why it happened.

That's why it didn't work out.

So then it doesn't mean anything about me.

It just means I didn't put enough effort in.

There is no out when you put 100% effort in.

So the way to put 100% effort in and not to procrastinate and not to have that excuse is to recognize that the outcome of your effort doesn't mean anything about you.

Good or bad.

So if 10 people spend 100 hours writing a book about the exact same topic researching at the same amount spending the exact same amount of time writing is each one going to sell the same number of copies?

No.

Why not?

We don't know.

Each one has a mind that works differently.

Each one has a different network of connections.

Each one has a different memory,

A different skill set,

A different all different types of things that are different.

Right,

If each person spends 100 hours practicing basketball,

Each one's going to come up with a end up with a different skill level.

Why?

Because the amount of time we put in doesn't necessarily or doesn't isn't the only factor that determines the outcome.

So when you fail at achieving the outcome you desire,

You say it's my fault.

But there's millions of factors which you don't control.

You didn't control the intellect that was given to you,

The memory,

Your previous life experiences that helped to contribute to what you're doing,

Whether your boss likes it,

Whether the readers like it,

Whether you meet the right person to help it succeed,

Any of those things.

It's not up to you.

We don't operate in a vacuum where everything that happens is only based on what I do.

It's not how it works.

And even if it was based on only what I do,

I don't control what I'm able to do.

You see?

So when you recognize that the good outcome doesn't mean you're great and the bad outcome doesn't mean you're bad,

Then all of a sudden you're free to try your best.

You don't need to procrastinate.

The second thought in this category of why we procrastinate is because we often have this idea that I am forced to do what I'm doing.

So I have to do this.

I have no choice.

So this could happen with someone doing their homework or this could happen with someone in their job when they think I have to do this.

I don't want to do it,

But I have to.

So that mentality creates resentment towards the task.

It's forcing me to do something I don't want to do.

And when we're forced to do something we don't want to do,

We put it off.

Partially because we want to avoid things that we don't enjoy and partially just as this idea to give us some power.

Right?

Well,

I may have to do it,

But I can do it when I want.

I don't have to do it now.

The way to get around this story in our head is to simply recognize you do have a choice.

You are choosing to do it.

So with your homework you may think you don't have a choice,

You have to do it.

No,

You do have a choice.

Do the homework and get a grade that you like or don't do the homework and get a grade that you don't like.

Don't do the homework and have your parents be mad at you.

You have a choice.

The same is true with doing your work.

You think you don't have a choice?

You do.

The choice is do your work and get the boss to like you or at least be okay with you or don't do the work and take the chance of being fired or talk to the boss and see if there's something you can do about it or quit and do something else.

You have a choice.

You are choosing to do the work.

No matter what the situation is,

You have a choice always.

And when you recognize you are choosing to do it,

You stop blaming it on others that are forcing it on you and then you can stop resenting it.

You can see I am choosing to do it because I've evaluated the pros and cons and I've decided this choice is what's best for me.

That's always what's happening.

We're just unaware of it.

The next reason why we avoid work is because we think I'm not good enough to do it.

So we may have never done it before or we may have done it before but we tell a story I'm just not going to be able to do it.

Why even start?

I'm not going to be able to.

So in that situation you could simply ask yourself the question,

Do I know that to be true?

Is it possible that I will be able to do it?

Have I done something similar before and been able to do it?

Have I previously come to the conclusion that I won't be able to do something and then when I tried I actually was able to do it?

So do you actually know that you won't be able to do it?

And if you think you do,

Then you can ask yourself the question,

Do I know whether it's better to fail or succeed at this?

How do I know what's best for my life?

Do I know all the effects that could occur from this situation?

From failing or succeeding?

How do you know?

And the last thought that we're going to talk about in this category of avoiding work because of what thoughts say is the idea that if you do the work you are missing out on something else.

So you think it's a waste of time,

It's not fun.

It's sometimes referred to as the fear of missing out.

So the whole premise of the fear of missing out and wanting to do something fun instead of that is based on the idea that the best way to pursue happiness is through experiences.

But when you pursue happiness through experience your life goes happy moments,

Experience,

Suffering and a sense of lack all in between.

Because if you're waiting for fun moments like the night,

The weekend,

You spend your entire life waiting to be happy,

All day long you're waiting for the night time,

All week long you're waiting for the weekend,

All six months you're waiting for your next vacation,

Always waiting to be happy because you think happiness comes from accumulating fun moments.

Look at your own experience,

Is that the way you want to live life?

Is that a fulfilling way to live life?

A fun moment is simply a distraction from your thoughts when you're engaged in any activity that takes your complete attention,

You're in peace,

You're happy,

You're having fun.

Why?

Because you're not giving attention to all the thoughts in your head.

It doesn't matter what your job is,

How much money you make,

What your marital situation is,

What you look like,

Anything when you're distracted from your thoughts.

Right?

Whether you're watching TV,

Playing sports,

Dancing,

Anything,

If you're distracted from your thoughts,

You're fine.

If you're at work and you watch a funny cat video,

You're fine in that moment because you're distracted from your thoughts.

So that's fine,

There's no problem with that,

Except that distracting yourself from your thoughts to pursue happiness is an incredibly temporary solution.

If you're looking for happiness from distractions,

You're distracting yourself from a thought for a moment and then all of your thoughts come right back.

Right?

So when you're pursuing a fun moment instead of your work,

What you're saying is this fun moment is the key to happiness.

But ask yourself,

What do I want?

Fun moments,

Suffering moments,

And lack in between?

Or do I want to live a life of fulfillment,

To enjoy everything that I do,

To always feel complete at whole?

The way to be at peace is to discover how to be happy in any situation,

Not to constantly try to change everything and everyone to make it match your idea perfect so you can be happy in every moment.

That never works because no matter how perfect everything is,

You still have all of the same thoughts.

Now the fourth fundamental reason why we procrastinate was to avoid some form of suffering and then go to a distraction now.

So this is where the things like watching TV,

Going on YouTube,

Looking up articles on the internet,

Facebook,

Eating,

Going to distractions,

Going to simple fun activities or mind-consuming activities,

To take breaks from work or to avoid work.

So why do we do that?

Because in order to stop doing it,

You have to understand why you're doing it.

And there's really a simple answer and that is our mind goes to what makes us happy.

That's where we go.

And so when you watch that cat video,

When you read an interesting article,

When you look at photos,

When you eat,

You have a little bit of pleasure,

A little high.

And so what happens is that creates a memory of pleasure.

And then in this moment,

In any moment that you feel a sense of lack,

You immediately look to escape that feeling of lack by going to the easiest source of pleasure.

And the easiest source of pleasure,

Food,

TV,

Internet,

Pictures,

Whatever,

Something that takes your attention away from how you feel and away from the thoughts you have in this moment.

So the way to avoid doing that is not to force myself to stop.

I need to stop doing that.

Doesn't work,

Does it?

Why do you keep checking your email?

To keep telling,

Looking for good news,

Looking for someone to prove they love you,

Looking for some comment that says he still likes me,

Whatever.

Right?

If you're not addressing the reason why you're going to something,

No amount of discipline is going to stop you from going there.

So the way to free yourself from this constant urge to escape how you feel and go to distractions is to look at how you feel in the moment that you're pulled to go to a distraction.

So if right now I'm trying to do my work and then I feel like going to have a doughnut,

Stop.

Why am I trying to escape now?

And look,

Because there's some story going on that's making you unhappy.

It may be some thought about how you're not good enough,

Your life isn't good enough.

I don't know.

It could be anything.

But you need to look for yourself to see what thoughts you're trying to avoid.

Because that's what distractions are doing,

Avoiding thoughts,

Distracting you from thoughts.

So the way to stop having the pull to go to distractions is to stop suffering,

To stop being at the effect of these thoughts in your head.

And the way to stop being at the effect of the thoughts in your head is to look at them.

We never spend time with our thoughts.

We always need to be distracted in every single moment.

Right?

When do you spend time?

Buy yourself with no distractions.

You need TV,

Music,

Food,

Friends,

Work,

Anything to avoid you just being alone with your own thoughts.

Right?

But if you can't be with your own thoughts,

Of course you're going to try to escape them in every moment.

If you want peace,

If you want to stop procrastinating,

Right?

Because they're the same thing.

If you're not at peace,

You're going to procrastinate.

Right?

Because you're going to associate your suffering with a task and you're going to try to avoid your suffering now by going to things that make you happy.

If you want to stop procrastinating,

What you really want is peace and happiness.

And the way to get that is to be willing to look at what thoughts you're telling yourself over and over again and then look at whether they're true or not.

And you can use my free ebook and free web app in the description to help you investigate your thoughts,

See what stories you're telling yourself,

Or you can look at my other videos.

Now for the fifth reason,

The fifth fundamental reason why we procrastinate is simply because a task,

A job is not the right fit for us.

Okay?

So maybe you really love interacting with people and you're in a job where you're in Microsoft Excel all day.

So that's not the ideal fit for you.

You don't feel motivated,

Enthusiastic,

Pulled to go do it.

Right?

So in that case,

Here's the thing.

You could recognize that and then try to pursue a different job or pursue a different way to spend your time.

But here's the most important thing to understand about that.

If some task is not the right fit for you,

You don't actively avoid it.

See?

So for me,

I love dealing with people,

But I don't avoid numbers.

I don't avoid doing other type of work because it doesn't make me suffer.

It's neutral.

So the task that isn't the right fit for me is still neutral.

So there's no reason to avoid it.

If you're trying to avoid something,

It's because it's not neutral.

It's because you believe it's making you suffer.

But even if something's not the right fit for you,

It can't make you suffer.

The only thing that can make you suffer is the thoughts in your head.

That's it.

Does that make sense?

If you have any questions,

So that's it for this video.

Those are the five major reasons and the primary thoughts that cause us to suffer while doing a task and causes us to avoid doing a task and which make us procrastinate.

So if you have any questions about anything I said,

Which you probably will,

Please ask them in the comments because I'm going to answer them.

And then by answering these questions in the comments,

Other people can see that and we can end up addressing everyone's issues and hopefully stop some procrastinating.

So thank you for watching this video.

I'm excited to hear what the impact is on your life and if you found it helpful.

Alright,

I'll see you on the next video.

Bye.

Hello again.

If you found my video helpful or you enjoyed it,

I welcome you to click on one of the videos below as you might find them helpful as well.

Or if you want to make sure you never miss another video of mine again,

You can click the subscribe button over there.

And if you want my free ebook,

You're welcome to click the free ebook button over there.

So thanks again for watching and I'll see you around.

Bye.

Reviews

Wow!!! Totally resonate with this!!! Going to listen to more!!! Grateful!!!♥️🙏🏻

Thanks for this insightful and thorough talk. I loved the book-writing example. I’m attempting to write a book right now and finding it an overwhelming and lengthy process. I have Long Covid which causes a great deal of fatigue, so can only engage in any activity for short periods of time (between 5 and 20 minutes). That isn’t my biggest issue regarding the book however. That’s something else. My book is an experiential take on having Long Covid. It’s a hot topic right now and still fairly new and fresh. My worry is that someone else will write a better book from a similar perspective, which can at times cause me to hold back or beat myself up for my slow progress. I will listen to your talk a few more times and familiarise myself with everything you’ve said. I believe there are many points I can take reassurance from and apply to my process. Thanks again 🙏🕊️

Great advice and insights. Thank you, Noah!

The best meditation on Prcrastination. Bookmarked it. Financial issues have been the biggest procrastination for me. This helped me a lot. Namaste. I’d love to hear something financial issues and answers. Kim

That was amazing, thank you SO much!

I love the different perspectives behind procrastination. Not only does he tell us about these perspectives, he provides strategies for working through them.

Insightful. I hope my son whom I homeschool absorbed some of the wisdom despite him trying to avoid it

Great

I really needed to hear that!
Thank you so much 🙏

So insightful

Very helpful. Thanks

This was great, learning about why I procrastinate. Can’t wait to see some changes in my processes! Thank you 🙏🏻🌞

Great reminders and information about the root issues! Thank you!

Excellent talk and good advice.