How To Meditate & Why Most People Fail

This track explains how to meditate, and how to avoid all of the mind traps and tricks that keep your mind busy and conflicting while trying to meditate. You could spend years of frustrating results trying to meditate if you don't know these tricks.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Noah Elkrief and in this video I'm going to show you how to meditate.

So this video will comprise of an explanation for how to meditate,

Mostly in the format of telling you what to avoid,

Telling you how not to meditate is really the easiest way to show you how to meditate.

And in the process of explaining this all to you,

It will also take the form of a guided meditation in some way.

So first off,

Just take a moment to just get in a comfortable position in your chair,

On the floor,

Wherever you are,

Just to get in a comfortable position.

Make sure you turn off any distractions.

And now just take a deep breath to start out.

So most people,

When they want to start a meditation practice,

They have a goal in mind.

And the goal,

Generally,

Is to silence their mind.

So that doesn't work.

That doesn't work.

And there's a very simple explanation why.

If you come up with any goal,

Your mind will help you get there.

So if the goal is to get rid of your mind,

Then your mind will try to help get rid of your mind.

And what that creates is a headache,

Agitation,

And a busy mind.

If you have a bush in the backyard that you want to get rid of,

What do you do first?

What do you think?

What is the best way to get rid of it?

How do I get rid of it quicker?

How do I?

So if the question is,

How do I get rid of my mind,

Who's going to answer it?

Thoughts.

You need to do this more.

You need to do that more.

You need to try this.

You need to try that.

And that.

That will create a lot of suffering.

So as long as you have any goal of trying to get rid of something,

Or get somewhere,

There's no relaxation.

There's effort.

So whatever goal you had created,

Forget about it.

Just let yourself sit there with me.

Let yourself just be there and rest.

Let thoughts do whatever they want,

Just for this moment.

Because look,

The other goal people create is to get rid of a particular thought.

But you can't get rid of a thought.

Just look for yourself.

If I tell you right now,

Don't think about honey.

Don't think about what honey looks like when it's coming out of the jar.

Don't think about what you put honey on.

Don't think about the taste of honey.

Give that a shot.

What happens?

You think about honey.

That's the way mind works.

If you try to get rid of a thought,

You'll just end up thinking about it more.

So don't do that.

Don't try to silence mind.

Don't try to get rid of a particular thought.

You'll just end up making mind busier and just giving yourself more attention to that thought.

So stop.

Bring your attention back to my voice.

Let yourself be there as you are.

Whatever thoughts come,

Let them come.

Thoughts come and go.

It's okay.

They don't mean anything about you.

You see,

The tendency in meditation is to try to control thoughts.

But do you control thoughts?

Can you control thoughts?

Look for yourself.

What's the next thought to pop up in your head?

Do you know what it will be before it shows up?

Really be honest with yourself.

Do you know what the next thought will be?

Take a moment and look.

Do you know whether it will talk about the future or the past?

Do you know whether it will be a question or an answer,

A judgment or a comment?

You don't know.

So if you don't know what the next thought to pop up in your head is,

You don't pick your thoughts.

If you pick the thoughts that enter your mind,

You would only pick positive ones and never pick negative ones.

So you don't control the thoughts in your head.

So stop trying.

As long as you're trying to control thoughts,

You're fighting a battle in your head.

Get rid of this one,

Get rid of that one,

Control this.

It's like trying to control a bull.

You know,

If you try to control a bull and you can't control it,

You're just going to be fighting.

It's not enjoyable,

It's not relaxing to engage in a war in your head.

Stop.

Let your mind do whatever it wants.

Only because you have no choice anyhow.

Stop.

Let thoughts come and go as they please.

Let thoughts say anything they want.

If a negative thought pops up,

Okay,

You don't need to get rid of it.

You don't need to fix it.

It doesn't signify there's something wrong with you.

It's just a thought.

You didn't put it there.

It doesn't mean anything about you.

It just showed up.

You didn't decide to put it there.

Okay?

It's like if you see somebody hitting somebody outside.

You may think the action is bad,

But you're not going to feel guilty and to blame for it because you didn't make it happen.

You didn't control whether it occurred or not.

So you may think a thought is bad,

But if you didn't put it there and you're not in control of it,

Then it doesn't signify anything about you.

Stop.

Let thoughts do whatever they want and then bring your attention back here to my eyes,

To my voice.

Not because my eyes or my voice are better than your thoughts.

Just stop.

Just out of curiosity.

What is here now?

What is here in this moment away from my imagination?

Because that's what thoughts are,

Imagination.

Let thoughts do whatever they want and then bring your attention back here.

The next trap that meditators are plagued by is believing in the fallacy that you control where your attention goes.

So what happens is when I say stop,

Bring your attention back here,

The tendency of a meditating mind is to say,

I did that,

I controlled it,

I took a step back,

I became present,

I became conscious.

And then,

Since you think you did that,

You take credit for when a step back occurs,

You take credit for when attention goes away from thoughts,

You also take credit for when attention goes to thoughts.

So then,

When I say stop and come back,

Immediately judgments occur.

It was bad that I was just following thoughts for the last five seconds or five minutes.

Why was I following them?

Why can't I get it?

Because it's not up to you.

It's not up to you.

Take a moment really to be honest with yourself.

Do you control where your attention goes?

What do you think one day you can control it or you should be able to control it?

Do you control it?

In your direct experience,

Do you control where your attention goes?

Of course not.

If you controlled where your attention goes,

You would never put your attention on the thoughts that create suffering.

You would never put your attention on the thoughts that create anxiety,

Worry,

Shame,

Sadness,

Anger.

Because that's the cause of suffering,

Right?

If you controlled your attention,

You would always keep your attention here,

Now.

But yet you don't.

But if you have the belief that you control your attention when you can't,

Well that results in self-hatred and shame,

Amongst other things.

Because then why can't I keep my attention on his voice?

Why do I keep going back there?

Or when you see things clearly,

Okay,

Attention went there,

Attention is here.

End of story.

There's no I did bad or good.

It doesn't signify anything about you when attention goes to thoughts because you're not in control over it.

You're not to blame for it.

If attention is constantly on thoughts,

Fine,

Okay.

Doesn't mean anything.

So when I say stop,

Bring your attention back to my eyes,

Bring your attention back to my voice,

Just for this second,

Then the tendency of mind is to say,

Okay,

I need to make sure I stay focused on his voice and his eyes.

You can't.

You can't do that.

Look,

Try.

Try to stay attentive to my voice.

Try to keep your attention on my eyes.

Just notice what happens.

Oh,

Another thought.

Oh,

Another thought.

It's okay.

That's what happens.

Thoughts pop up and then they go.

Thoughts take your attention and then they go.

But it doesn't mean anything about you and you don't have to stop it.

Meditation is about allowing this moment to be exactly as it is.

To ask the simple question,

What is wrong?

How do I know?

Where's the problem in this moment?

Where's your nose?

Now where is the problem?

Where's your hair?

Now where is the problem?

It doesn't exist.

Stop.

Bring your attention back here to this moment.

You see,

The regular trained mind says,

It's bad to look like this.

It's good to look like that.

Bad to have this job.

Good to have that job.

Bad to be single.

Good to be married.

Bad to live in an apartment.

Good to have a house.

Etc.

But the spiritual mind,

The meditator's mind says,

Just makes a whole new set of concepts about what is good and bad in their own head.

It's good to have positive thoughts,

Bad to have negative thoughts,

Good to have quiet mind,

Bad to have busy mind,

Good to give attention to this moment,

Bad to give attention to thought,

Good to whatever,

Good to be disidentified with thoughts,

Bad to be identified with thoughts.

Forget about all that.

All that exists in your imagination,

Not part of reality.

Thoughts come,

Thoughts go.

That's it.

You don't need to do anything.

You don't need to do anything.

You don't need to do anything.

You don't need to fix anything.

Stop.

Allow this moment to be as it is.

That's what meditation is.

Stop.

Allow this moment to be as it is.

So that means allow your thoughts to do whatever they want.

If they're positive,

Let them be positive.

If they're negative,

Let them be negative.

If they're questioning everything,

I don't understand this,

I can't figure it out.

Let them do that.

But recognize the one that is trying to figure it out,

The one that is trying to understand what I'm saying,

Make sure it can practice it,

Apply it,

Remember it,

That's not you.

Those are thoughts.

They pop up and then they go.

They try to understand and then they go.

They try to figure it out and then they go.

But that trying to figure it out is based on the idea that something is wrong now.

Something is missing now.

Because if nothing was wrong,

If nothing was insufficient,

Then you wouldn't need to get anywhere and if you don't need to get anywhere,

You don't need to figure anything out.

Right?

If you're sitting where you are and that's a bad place to be,

Then you have to figure out where to get to and how to get there.

But if you're okay with where you are,

You don't have to figure out anything.

You're just sitting.

So the same is true with this mental world that you've created.

I need to get from my current experience to that wonderful experience.

But that's a trap.

What's wrong with your experience now?

Who says?

So if you have a feeling in your chest,

Mind could say it's bad,

It's anxiety,

It's this,

It's that.

It's just a feeling.

How do you know it's bad or good?

Who says in reality?

A thought pops up and says it's bad,

Good.

It means there's something wrong with me.

It means I'm okay.

Right?

Mind creates these ideas of states.

One experience is good,

One experience is bad.

I need to go from this bad experience to that good experience.

That's a trick.

Peace and freedom comes from recognizing that no experience is bad because no experience means anything about you.

And there's no experience that is inherently wrong or insufficient or lacking.

If you have a bruise,

Can you be in peace in the midst of a bruise?

Yeah,

Because it's just a feeling on your arm.

Of course you could be in peace in the midst of a feeling on your arm.

If you have a stomach ache and then you go and watch TV or you go and eat something that distracts you from it,

You're fine.

You can be in peace in the midst of a stomach ache.

Why?

Because it's just a sensation in your stomach.

It doesn't determine whether you're in peace or not.

The same is true with all the physical sensations that you experience.

It is not a tool to get you from a bad experience to a good experience because then you're going to spend all day judging your current experience,

Having anxiety about whether you will ever get to that good experience,

Using mental processes the whole time trying to get to that good experience.

And sometimes you will get to that good experience,

But when you're there,

You'll worry about losing it.

You'll worry about keeping it.

Why can't I keep this experience?

Why can't I stay with that experience?

Well,

The answer is very simple.

Experiences come and go.

They change.

But who you are is always here,

Just aware.

You are there in the midst of every experience.

You are there when there's heaviness.

You are there when there's lightness.

Stop.

Allow your experience to be what it is.

And if you notice,

Mind says there's something wrong,

Okay,

Mind says there's something wrong.

It doesn't mean that there is.

If I go like this,

Is this a good movement or a bad movement?

It's just a movement.

Mind could say it's ugly or pretty,

Nice or bad,

Creative or not,

But it's just movement.

None of that is part of reality,

Part of the fact.

So if I go like this,

Or like this,

Which feeling is better and which is worse?

It doesn't exist in reality.

The feeling can't be bad or good.

That is an idea,

A concept that we superimpose onto reality and say the feeling is good.

No,

That is a feeling and then mind says good or bad.

Stop.

Let yourself be as you are.

Stop.

Just be with yourself.

Meditation is not about getting somewhere.

It's not about fixing something.

It's not about creating a better state or experience.

It's about being here as you are and allowing that.

And if your mind can't allow that,

Allow that your mind can't allow.

It doesn't have to because who you are is aware of thoughts.

So if thoughts are saying,

I can't allow,

Something's wrong,

Just watch.

Okay.

Mind says something's wrong.

Okay.

Mind says,

I can't allow.

Okay.

That's fine.

You are a step behind thoughts.

You are a step behind feelings.

They are not you,

They're just experience.

Stop.

Just sit there.

Just be with yourself.

You don't need to get away from yourself.

You don't need to fix anything about you or your experience because nothing is broken.

Nothing is wrong.

How do I know?

Because I'm looking.

I'm looking there.

I see you but I don't see anything wrong.

Where is wrong?

On your shoulder?

Where is bad?

On your chest?

Where is something missing?

On your chin?

How do you know your experience isn't good enough in reality?

Stop.

Bring your attention back to this room,

Back to my eyes.

Allow this moment to be as it is.

And that is how to meditate.

That is how to meditate in a way that frees you from the constant efforting,

Anxiety,

Shame and lack.

If you try to get to an experience in meditation,

You'll spend your whole life comparing experiences.

And that's not a very enjoyable way to live life.

So I welcome you to sit there and allow the moment to be as it is.

And anytime you notice any degree of not allowing,

Allow that.

Anytime you notice thoughts being busy,

Allow that.

Allow attention to go wherever it wants.

Allow it because you don't control it anyhow.

Okay,

So that's all I have to say about how to meditate.

If you have any questions,

Feel free to ask.

If you have any comments,

Feel free to share below.

It was a pleasure being with you.

Bye.

Reviews

Another fabulous presentation giving great insight where truly many of us might give up meditation because in our minds, we can’t do it perfectly <— whatever That is!
Thank you.
One of your newest fans.
Warmly. Anne

Perfect explanation thank you I needed that!

This was a great help with meditation. Not sure i fully agree that thoughts and attention can't be controlled.

Thank you, Noah! I’ll be patiently awaiting any new talks you want to provide 😉

Though it’s framed as a video that’s not a problem. He covers all the traps and myths that get in the way of simply being. Thanks.

Excellent. Just the way it is.

Thank you for explaining.

Great instructions. It's very helpful to be reminded of the appropriate mindset for meditation and it was very pleasantly explained.

Right before I listened to this I did an unguided meditation when my thought wouldn't stop. I kept fighting them. Now I know to just let them be. Whatever comes acceptance. Then return to my breath.

Absolutely illuminating and a go to talk when judgement starts to creep in about our practise!! Thank you Noah 🤗

So helpful. Thank you!

Makes sense! We cannot control our thoughts or attention yet we are consumed by trying to, trying to find a better state or feeling. Letting things be, and accepting the moment as it is, and our mind as it is....

Thank you, Noah !

Can't thank you enough! 👑🙏🌠🌠🌠💜

Excellent in its simplicity!

...all about acceptance of what is...thank you, namaste✨

Simple and beautiful. Thank you

Extremely simple explaination and very useful . Thank you for sharing .

Thank you, I feel relieved.... No more battles trying to empty my mind

Very helpful! Thank you!