How To Balance A Meditation Practice With Real World Obligations

In our pursuit of spiritual attainment,

It's vital that we keep in mind our obligations and dedications to the real world.

There's a temptation or a pull to lose ourselves in esoterica,

In the practice,

In meditation,

In prayer.

To give up our possessions,

To fall under the spell of a guru,

To sort of put aside our real world in favor of the spiritual.

There are multiple problems with this approach however.

The first being that we live in the physical world.

We,

No matter our past,

No matter our situations,

Have obligations towards friends and family and society in general.

And to put down or walk away from those obligations isn't necessarily right.

And this is important because a lot of the practices that we will explore have a moral component to it.

And whilst on retreat,

Whilst we are practicing our spiritual journey,

We may be encouraged to be as moral as possible.

You know,

Act rightly,

Walk in God's image,

Those sort of instructions.

But the problem is that if we've walked away from our real world obligations,

If we've left people struggling in some capacity,

We are building our numerality on unstable ground.

So any of those gains we attain will be forfeit because,

Well,

They're not based on reality.

It's easy to be the best follower,

The best servant,

You know,

Dedicated to the practice,

To the cause,

To the principles.

In theory,

Or for a while,

But true spiritual attainment,

True spiritual growth,

The true following of the path will integrate the reality of our situation.

Now,

This will mean for some people that they don't have the same opportunities to practice as others.

A young single person can afford to take time off from their life to spend months in solitude.

They can afford to travel to far out places,

To temples,

To study under the masters in person,

Because in their world,

They have very little to no obligations.

The same isn't true for the parents,

For the carers,

For the people that have jobs where they're the team leaders,

Where people rely on them.

They can't just up and go.

They can't just put aside their life.

Well,

Technically they can,

But doing so may not be the most appropriate path.

This doesn't mean that the approach to spirituality has gone to them.

It will just look different.

The best spiritual attainment,

The best spiritual growth comes from the soul,

Comes from a place that can be applied not just when you're on retreat,

Not just when you're on the meditation mat,

But in real life.

You know,

If you want the ashram experience of servitude,

Clean your house.

Apply the same practice of dedication to service to those in your family,

To your friends.

The same acts of forgiveness in the workplace.

In fact,

Taking the spiritual lessons into the real world is arguably more challengeable and ultimately more rewarding than doing it on a retreat,

Because you're interacting with people that are not down that same path as you.

They're going by their day to day lives,

Following their same day to day problems,

Without the same level of introspection,

Contemplation,

Mindfulness,

All of those things that you have at your disposal.

So to interact with the real world actually requires a deeper sense of connection to the cause,

Connection to the practice,

Because you will face significant challenges,

Not the least of which is finding the time to practice.

For those that do stay in the quote real world,

They may struggle to find the time to commit themselves to a formal practice.

When are they going to do the reading?

When are they going to do the connection?

When are they going to do the meditation or prayer?

These are all questions that need to be addressed.

In my experience,

I found two approaches.

The first is to accept,

Accept the situation.

For whatever reason,

Your life circumstances suggest that you can't simply run away and practice.

You can't dedicate hours upon hours of time in silent contemplation.

You can't afford or you don't have access to the masters.

What are the workarounds?

Let's accept where we are.

This is the state that we find ourselves in.

But what can we do about it?

We can look to technology,

Meditation apps,

Podcasts,

Books,

Audiobooks.

We will be able to find time to consume the literature that we want to consume.

If we look to modern technology,

Not as a distraction,

But as a tool,

We will find people around the world that will be able to guide us towards our path.

This may take the form of listening to 30 minutes of a book whilst we drive to work.

It may take the form of reading their blog posts.

It may take the form of online classes.

But we can choose to commit our spare time to that pursuit.

It will look different to the approach that the young,

Single,

Unobstructed seeker would take.

But it still is a path.

We also need to make sure that we're dedicating time in each day to our practice.

And this comes from developing morning routines and from prioritization.

Every morning when I wake up,

I wake up before the family and I meditate.

I follow a guided meditation of 10 minutes.

Then I do 10 minutes of mindfulness meditation in silence.

And then I do 10 minutes of mantra repetition.

And then I do 10 minutes of spiritual reading.

And what I found is by putting that practice at the start of my day,

I'm able to get it done.

I'm able to get it done because of the time I've set,

Because of the instructions that I've given to my family to let them know this is what I'm doing,

And this is the practice I am taking.

And focusing on,

For them,

How it benefits them.

For example,

If I am able to meditate daily,

I will be a better partner,

A better father,

A better worker,

Because it sets my mind in order.

So the people around me know that if I get the time to myself now,

I'll be better for them later.

And this allows me to blend my spiritual practice with my real world applications.

It allows me to be a better person in the real world,

And thus dedicate more time to the spiritual practice.

So it works hand in hand.

And beyond that,

It can help people in my real world start their own spiritual journey,

Because they're seeing the benefits and the changes in me in real time.

They're seeing the mat time I'm putting in.

They're seeing the books I'm reading.

They're with me for the journey.

Beyond that,

The people in my life know that I'm not forgoing my real world obligations.

They're not watching me practice and feeling like they're missing something.

They know that when I spend that time in meditation,

In contemplation,

It effectively benefits them.

So there's no push or guilt or jealousy.

It just works.

Because there's a real risk that we lose ourselves to the practice,

That our whole life becomes this homage to the way.

And whilst the benefits of practice can and should transcend the mat and should start impacting our real life.

If we're not careful,

It can take over our world.

And you become a fanatic.

In the sense that you start pushing it upon people.

You start saying,

Hey,

You should meditate.

You should act like this.

You should eat like this.

You should do this daily.

This isn't this isn't right what you're doing here.

Not only is that rude,

It's also ineffective.

No one likes to be told that they're doing the wrong thing.

No one likes to be pushed down certain paths.

And doing so is both offensive and ineffective because they're not going to follow.

The better approach to get people on board is to be the example.

To show them by your actions and by your results.

The best way to thrive,

To function,

To prosper.

And when they ask,

And they will ask when they see the results.

You say,

Hey,

Welcome.

I welcome you.

I invite you to practice with me.

Here's the meditations that I do.

Here's how I practice.

And they'll ask you for more because you didn't push it upon them.

Because you welcomed them with open arms without judgment and and brought them into your circle.

So if you've got a practice,

Make sure that it's a part of your life,

Not something that takes over your life completely.

But also make sure that you do dedicate time to your practice.

Because unless you're extremely lucky or you came to it extremely early,

The chances of you being able to take an extended period of time,

Just to focus on your practice is quite low.

So work on the morning routines,

Work on the discipline.

Share the reasons why with your friends and family and have an open offer to invite them in.

And should they accept it,

Invite them,

Welcome them and begin your practice together.

And that way you will best meld your internal practice with your external reality in a way that's sustainable,

Enjoyable and provides a deep sense of connection between everyone.