Finding Your Edge

Hello and welcome.

My name is Lou Redmond.

Thank you for being here.

I want to share a quick story that highlights the inspiration for this practice.

I was preparing to go to a wedding alone and the wedding was for a friend.

And what I find interesting about most weddings is that when you go to them,

You don't really spend that much time with the person that you are celebrating or the person that invited you.

And in this case,

I wasn't really close with anyone else that I knew and again,

I was going to this alone.

Just that in itself can give someone anxiety.

We're going into a social situation that we don't know that many people is an anxiety providing situation and a big event like a wedding creates even more anxiety,

At least it did for me.

To add on that,

I do not drink and I used to drink and I used to drink a lot.

And some of the people that were at this wedding knew me when I drank a lot.

But I am in this phase of life where I do not drink anymore and I haven't drank for,

I guess,

Five years now.

With that,

The anxiety was even more so because some of these people only knew me when I used to drink.

So I knew I was going to go there as this person who doesn't drink and get asked all these questions and all this stuff was coming up before.

And really,

It was this moment where I was like,

Wow,

This is intense.

I hadn't felt this anxiety in so long.

And at that moment,

I thought of this phrase that gets repeated often.

I would love to take the edge off.

I would just love to take this edge that I feel.

And often,

What we take the edge off with and where that comes from sometimes is with a drink.

We use alcohol,

We use a drug to take our edge off.

And I thought about just that phrase a bit more,

Taking the edge off.

Where did that come from?

Why do we use it?

Why are we so infatuated with comfort?

Why can't we look at edges?

Why,

When we come to an edge,

Do we say,

No,

No,

No,

No,

I can't be with this?

Because what I found,

And what I'm sure many of us that have come to a meditation practice have found that there is so much power in looking at where the edges are in our life and not running away from them,

Not saying,

No,

No,

No,

I don't want any edges.

We open the door and we say,

Hey,

How can I come up towards my comfort zone?

How can I step to the edge,

See it,

And then know that I can be with it?

And not only that,

Maybe I can move past it.

Maybe there's times where I can feel confident enough where I can jump off of it.

And that's a lot of what we're working on is being able to be with those edges in our life,

To not run,

To be with discomfort and to see that we have so much more power in doing just that.

So I'm hoping this practice helps to encourage that in some way.

So go ahead and close down your eyes if you haven't.

Allow the weight of your body to begin to come into your cushion,

Your chair.

And we're going to settle by finding where our body is meeting the edge.

So finding where those edges are in our body.

So they may be where your sit bones are on your cushion or your chair.

It might be where your hands are resting on your thighs or in between your hips.

Just noticing all other places that the edges of your body are hitting the floor.

Maybe it's your feet.

Maybe it's your legs.

Maybe one leg is lying on top of the other.

And with that,

Start to invite in the awareness into your breath.

Inviting a few gentle inhales and exhales.

Just to create some space in your body.

And allow the tension to release.

And with a smooth and even breath going,

Maybe connecting to the invisible edges that we're coming across.

So where our body is meeting the air.

There's this energy that's surrounding us.

And so maybe feel the energy that's around you.

So although we might not realize it,

We're coming up against something.

The oxygen.

There are molecules that we don't see.

And there might also be these other invisible energies that we don't see.

So feel the spirit of that around you.

And taking that into any context that feels true.

You might feel the energy of your spirit,

Of your soul.

You might feel the energy of the universe.

You might just feel the energy of this earth and this air.

And the gravity that's all keeping it together.

And come back to that breathing.

Notice that your breath has this same quality.

Where does the breath begin?

Where does it end?

There's this space that we can't really see where it's coming in and where it's going out.

As you notice your breath,

Notice that.

Notice where does the breath start to come in?

When does it come in?

Where does it go out?

It's this exchange of invisible energies from the outside in and from the inside out.

And then take a full breath in and a full breath out.

I'm going to work through a bit of a guided visualization today.

So if at any point your mind starts to wander or you start to not connect with the guidance,

You're always welcome to just come back to that breath and allow the emotional experience of the meditation to guide you rather than the visual experience.

So I'd like you to imagine that you are sitting at the top of a mountain.

And you're sitting at the top of the mountain in the same meditation space as you are in right now.

So you can see yourself in this,

Maybe you're cross-legged,

Maybe you're on a chair,

Maybe you bring your cushion or your chair to this mountain.

Allow yourself to sit there and begin to take it in.

So whatever mountain comes to mind,

You may envision a mountain landscape,

Maybe it's a forest,

Maybe it's more rugged,

Maybe it's a plateau and you're looking out at a desert.

Anything that connects with you right now.

And take in all of the sight.

What do you see?

What else do you see?

Whether it's cloudy or not,

Whether the sun is out,

Or there's snow on the mountain tops.

And for a few moments taking in all the sights,

Anything else,

Bugs or birds that are around,

Rocks.

And really allow yourself to paint this picture in your mind's eye.

And then letting go of sights to bring in the sounds that you hear.

The sounds of animals,

The trees,

The wind moving through the trees.

Any other sounds that you might hear.

Maybe there's water in the distance.

Maybe you hear a lake or a river.

And then letting go of sounds and beginning to feel what you feel.

So the temperature,

You feel the warm rays of the sun on your face.

Maybe the coolness of the wind rushing by.

Notice if you're bundled up or if you are in shorts and a t-shirt.

Anything else that you can feel here.

Anything else that you can touch.

Maybe you can reach out and touch a rock that's nearby or feel the sandy path beneath you.

And letting that go and noticing any smells,

Anything that you can smell.

Flowers,

Pine,

Sap.

Sometimes this can be a little bit tougher.

And then lastly,

Just bringing all of those together.

Sight,

Sounds,

Feeling,

Smells.

And now that you've gotten the landscape of where you are at,

I'd like you to embody that you are on this mountain on a quest.

Symbolic of why we take up meditation often it's we're on a quest for something.

That quest might be inner peace and maybe forgiveness and maybe compassion,

Manifestation,

Actualization,

Self-realization.

Might be a quest of forgiveness.

Quest of openness.

I'd like you to ask yourself what is the quest that you are on?

What is your journey?

What does that look like to you?

And it's okay to not know as well.

I'd like you to find gratitude simply for being on this journey.

Find appreciation for yourself.

For being on this mountain.

For choosing to walk this path.

And you know the path that I talk about.

We know that on a spiritual journey it can be difficult.

It will be difficult.

And that's exactly it.

We don't realize that the job of the quest is to bring us towards our edge.

Whether that be emotionally,

Whether that be in our relationships,

Our careers.

If we knew the terrain,

If we knew the future,

Then there would be no fun.

Coming to our edges,

Pushing past them is a great teacher.

It shows us where we should give our energy to.

And so in this state,

You get to ask yourself where is an edge that you are coming upon in your life?

Maybe a better way to say that is where is an edge that you come up on in your life and then hide away from it and then not look at it.

So come to fear.

Maybe you do take the edge off in some way by TV,

Food,

Alcohol,

Netflix.

Maybe that's a way to hide as it is for many of us.

Maybe that's not the case but maybe you still are coming up on some sort of fear,

Some sort of discomfort,

Some edge that you're not pushing through.

You're not looking past.

Maybe it's the edge of your own belief,

Which it often is.

And allow that to just be.

Allow it to just be especially in this beautiful scene that you've created.

It's okay.

Maybe noticing if your body is having any sort of reaction.

If you can feel this edge somewhere in your body and maybe just breathe and be there for a few moments.

This feeling,

This discomfort,

It's here to teach you something.

It's here to grow you.

These growing pains are real physically and also emotionally.

I'd like you to take a full breath in with me and a full breath out.

Now that we've identified where that edge is,

I'd like you to imagine yourself standing up from your seat on your mountain.

I'd like you to walk forward and come to that edge of whatever the mountain is that you imagine.

And take in symbolically what does it feel like to stand at your edge?

What does this feel like?

Does it excite you?

Or does it make you want to turn away?

And then look out into the distance.

What is out there if you go past your edge?

What are the possibilities for your life?

You might have no idea what is out there.

And that's why it's scary.

But I'd like you to use this to envision some ideal future for yourself.

Maybe you see an image out in the clouds of you being a certain person that you want to be.

Maybe you see yourself achieving something or attaining and realizing something within whatever it might be.

Outer and inner are both welcome here.

What's that feeling?

Is it a happiness,

A peace,

Love,

Success?

You can see that in the distance.

And breathe that feeling into your body standing on this edge.

You can have all of that if you step forward.

But first,

You need some help.

So turn around and behind you,

You see on a mountain is a sword in a stone.

Yes,

Just like Excalibur and that movie Sword in the Stone.

And the reason I use this sword is if you think or if you research the history of taking the edge off,

It was a medieval term that was used to take the edge off a blade,

A sword,

So to blunt the blade so it's less effective.

So when we take the edge off something,

We're making it less effective.

We're making ourselves less effective.

So go ahead to the sword.

And I'd like you to put your hand on it,

But still it is stuck in the stone.

And with a dull blade,

We can't get what we want to get done.

We need to sharpen our blade.

And this stone is so powerful that it can take away your discomfort.

So allowing it to by breathing in positive and breathing out negative,

Breathing in light,

And breathing out darkness.

Breathe in ease,

Breathe out discomfort,

Breathe in peace,

Breathe out worry,

Breathe in trust,

And breathe out doubt.

And now that that energy is out,

You'll need to resharpen the blade.

And the way you'll do that is through your belief.

Feeling yourself,

Maybe your stance,

Your stance in the image,

Get a little bit straight and maybe even feel your body straighten up a little bit,

Kind of opening to a more powerful stance.

Like you would repeat to yourself silently or out loud.

I am courageous.

I am powerful.

I am a peaceful warrior.

I am courageous.

I am powerful.

I am a peaceful warrior.

And when you feel ready,

You're going to pull that blade out from the stone and turn around and walk back over to the edge of your mountain.

And with this powerful rod,

Extend it high above your head and take in the energy of the mountains.

And repeat again,

I am courageous.

I am powerful.

I am a peaceful warrior.

And I'd like you to think again of that edge that you are coming up on in your life.

And see yourself with the power of this sword.

You see yourself moving forward,

See yourself being able to confront this and be with this edge.

When you feel that power embodied within,

I'd like you to go ahead and see yourself step and leap off your mountain top,

Leap off your edge.

And when you do,

You notice that the power of the sword floats you in the sky.

And you are supported when you step forward.

Enjoy for a few moments yourself floating through the mountain ranges,

Supported by your own strength and your own courage.

And you'll be repeating those words,

I am supported.

And after floating for some time,

Your sword is going to take you to a new mountain where you must move through another edge.

Because that is the journey we are on.

We conquer one mountain and all of a sudden there is another mountain right in front of it.

And that is the joy of our growth.

And so when you feel ready,

You can come back to your body and go ahead and open your eyes,

Back into your room.

And as always,

I wish you so much strength on your journey.

I hope that you are able to transcend those edges in your life.

And what we often find is they are a mental edge,

A belief in ourself,

A lack or a limitation that we set up.

And I hope that what I put out there can help support that journey,

Support you in that growth in some small way.

So I thank you as always,

Let me know what you thought by leaving a comment and I will connect with you all soon.

Sending much love.

Namaste.