Boost Your Success By Telling Yourself Good Stories

What are the stories you tell yourself? Our personal stories, the way we “story” the world, impact our ability to succeed in our soulful business. In this talk, I explore the stories that you have created that are limiting your potential and take you through some of my favorite methods to rewrite your story. “Remember you are the author of your story!”

Transcript

Today we're chatting about what the stories are that you are telling yourself that are holding you back from creating the kind of business that you truly desire.

Now,

What I mean by this is every single day,

Every single moment,

Every single thing that happens to us,

We are capable of creating a story around that,

Right?

A train of thoughts.

So I'm gonna give you an example of what I mean by this.

So for example,

You put out a post,

Right?

You had put your heart and soul into it.

It feels like the most amazing,

Juicy post that you've ever put out ever.

And you post it and no one responds.

Like there's not even one like,

There's no comment,

Nothing.

And then we create the story around that thing that happened,

Okay?

And the story might go something like this.

Well,

That was a waste of time.

What am I even doing?

No one is seeing me.

I'm absolutely invisible.

This is,

You know,

I put in all this effort and nothing works.

I'm never going to be able to do this.

Can you see the spiral of thoughts that we can attach to an event that becomes a huge story?

Yeah.

Now,

Stories are something that are really quite interesting because they have been used as ways of which we have communicated very early on as a species.

And so they speak to us at some really gut,

Almost instinctual level,

Right?

They are one of the first ways that we could get across our ideas to people before we had the written word.

And so they speak very much to the heart.

They pull you in on an emotional level.

And of course,

This can affect your energy,

The way that you are turning up,

Yeah?

And so when we create these stories,

When we attach a bunch of thoughts that aren't true,

Yeah,

Here's the key,

They're not true,

Then we have created a story that gets us emotionally involved into the event and therefore starts causing even more unhelpful thoughts and a vibration that keeps us in the same place in our business.

And this particular example that I have given you,

Where you have put some effort in and you haven't seen the reward that you have wanted,

Have you been privy to creating a story that is not helpful around that event?

So have you done this before?

Are you guilty of it?

I certainly am,

Right?

If something hasn't turned out the way that I expected it to turn out or wanted it to turn out,

I have created a story about what that means,

Okay?

So equally off of that,

Our stories have meanings attached to them.

We attach meaning to an event that is actually just an event.

It is something that has happened and is independent of all of the emotions and ideas that we then put onto it,

Right?

So the way that you start to unravel your story is firstly,

You have to become aware that you are making up a story,

Yeah.

So if we take this example of what I just talked about,

Okay,

Creating a social media post that is kick ass and you get zero likes and you get no response and you create the story about,

Well,

This is because I'm invisible,

No one sees me,

No one cares about what I do,

I'm not talking to my ideal clients,

I haven't got my messaging right,

Whatever the story is,

Right?

You create the story about the event.

What is actually true?

That is the question you have to ask yourself.

So when you've done the train of thought,

Because when you're in that habit,

That is what's gonna happen,

Right?

And when you can take a moment to step back and go,

Well,

What is actually true here?

What is true is it did have my heart and soul in it,

It did feel like a really good post,

I posted it and no one responded.

That is actually the end of what is true,

Okay?

What you have attached,

The way that you have attached meaning to that through the story is this,

Okay?

So what is true is that you did have your heart and soul in it and you posted it,

No one commented or liked it,

That is the end of the story.

Then you,

Sorry,

The end of the truth.

Then you added in the story of that must mean that I am invisible,

That no one sees me,

That I don't have my messaging right,

That I'm not talking to the right audience,

That I et cetera,

Et cetera,

Et cetera,

Yeah.

Which is not true.

There is no evidence to say that that is true.

There could be plenty of times when you have put something out,

Someone has read it,

It has hit them completely,

Really hard in the heart and they've gone,

Wow,

I actually can't respond right now.

I can't,

It's that powerful.

And there are people who go through and look at your things,

They never like a comment,

Yeah?

So what stories are you creating for yourself around events in your business that maybe haven't worked out the way that you have liked?

Equally,

What are the stories that you are creating when something does happen the way you would like?

And the reason I ask this particular question is because when we start creating stories,

I.

E.

Attaching our emotion and our energy and our sense of value and worth to what is happening in the outside world,

Guess what happens?

We are dependent on what happens outside of us,

Yeah?

Our energy,

Our emotions,

Our resilience,

Our thought patterns are always going to be dependent on what happens outside of us.

Now,

I know that all of you know this and I want to remind you of it,

That is really shaky ground to place all of your self-worth,

All of your positive feelings,

All of your happiness and joy on what happens outside of you.

You cannot operate like that as an entrepreneur,

Especially a soul-led,

Spiritual,

Soulful entrepreneur.

You cannot do that.

You cannot do that as an empathic person.

You cannot do that as a big feeling person because you're gonna get fucked up.

You're going to get really drawn in and it is going to seep energy out of you.

And I don't want that for you.

I want you to be here doing your transformational work and changing lives.

And so what stories are you creating when things don't work out and when things do work out?

Become really aware of those.

So how can you become aware of those?

The first way and the best way is to write your story.

Write it down.

This is why journaling is one of these very powerful tools here.

Write it down.

An event happens,

It makes you feel a certain way,

Write it down.

You're going to start,

When you start doing this practice,

You're going to start,

Especially with the things that don't make you feel good.

Let's just stick to that side of the story.

When you start doing this practice and you start really dissecting what kind of stories you're coming up that are not making you feel good,

That are not helpful for you,

You're going to get the chance to realize what bull you are creating in your mind.

So you are the author of your story,

Your life story,

Your future story,

Your now story,

All of them.

And this is really one of the ways that you can start stepping into that embodiment of knowing that you are the creator of everything in your life.

And you are the creator of your business,

Which means that you have full power to claim and to direct towards what you truly desire to create in your business.

So if your business is not where you want it to be,

If it is not where you want it to be,

If it is not at the level of success that you desire,

If it is not as easy and fun as it should be,

If you're doing it in a soul-led way,

If it is none of those things,

You need to start asking,

What am I doing as the author of my story?

What kind of story am I writing for myself about my business,

About myself?

And it is the act of becoming aware of what we are writing about ourselves,

What we are saying about ourselves,

What we are saying about our actions,

What we are saying about the reactions to our actions,

All of that,

That you start to unravel what it is that you are truly believing and therefore thinking and therefore acting upon,

Which comes with a certain energetic resonance that is either helpful for you or not helpful for you.

So on the flip side of that,

On the flip side of the stories that aren't helpful are the stories that are very helpful.

So I like to play with stories that are really helpful for me.

They're not true.

When I look at the evidence,

They're not necessarily true until they are true,

Okay?

But they help me in terms of how I feel about myself,

How I therefore think about myself,

How I therefore believe about myself,

And therefore how I act in the world.

They are helpful stories.

So a helpful story,

For example,

That I have is that my people find me and my people might take a while to get on board with the train of working with me,

Right?

That might be my sphere for a while,

But they eventually do.

They always do.

They always turn up.

They always turn up.

They always turn up.

And so this story serves me because when I have,

Say,

A launch or I put out something and no one bites,

Yeah?

There's no sales.

Doesn't look like it's really happening.

The story for me is I know it touched some people.

I know that it planted some seeds for my soul clients.

And I know those people are gonna come closer into my world and eventually they're going to work with me because that's how it goes.

So I have a story that every single piece of content that I create touches someone,

Plants a seed in my soul clients,

So I only call them my soul clients,

Yeah?

In my soul clients,

And that draws them closer to me and eventually to the point where they work with me.

That is the story that I choose to tell myself,

So choice.

That is the story that I choose to tell myself that affects the way that I think,

Affects the way that I believe,

And affects the way that I then go and do things and show up in my business,

Yeah?

So what stories are you creating about yourself or about your business or in response to something that has or hasn't happened in your business?

And is it helpful for you?

Is it giving you the emotional energy,

The energetic resonance,

And the mental capacity to want to create more in your business?

Or is it holding you back,

Yeah?

Aloha for those catching me live,

Hi those catching the replay,

Drop me questions as you go,

Yeah?

So your ego is usually,

Is the creator of stories,

Okay?

Yeah,

Your ego is the creator of stories.

So in the case of when it isn't going well,

Yeah,

When your ego decides that this isn't a good thing,

It decides and creates and weaves stories that keep you in the same place,

Okay?

And I see this a lot with soulful entrepreneurs who talk about following their intuition when it's not intuition,

It's their ego.

And it's very,

Very clear when that happens for me,

Not for them,

Because the story goes something like this,

Okay?

Oh,

Well,

I thought I was going to do the thing that I was gonna do,

But then my intuition jumped in and I got all these signs that said that that wasn't the right thing for me.

No,

That was your ego.

So your ego is very tricky and it can masquerade itself as intuition.

And it is the one that creates stories and attaches meanings to very,

Like,

To events that completely stand alone,

Yeah?

So when people talk about signs,

I find that really interesting,

Right?

Because I used to be one of those persons,

People too,

Right?

I was like,

Oh,

Watching the signs and that feels good and that doesn't feel good.

But then I realized there was a very subtle difference,

A very sneaky,

Subtle difference.

And I could start to feel that it was actually my ego keeping me in the same place and using this idea of signs from the universe to just keep me the same,

Yeah?

That is the role of the ego,

To keep you safe.

It is not a bad thing,

It just is,

Yeah?

And so I see this,

As I said,

A lot with soulful entrepreneurs making decisions.

They will attach meaning or stories to signs or events in the outside world and have that be the dictator of how they then go forward in their business or not go forward in their business.

And it's often not going forward in their business,

Okay?

This is a mistake.

This is not your soul speaking through you.

This is your ego being super tricky and creating stories for you to keep you in the same place.

If you are a business,

If you're a person who has been in business for three to four years now and you are still at the same place,

Like pretty much at the same place than when you started and you haven't done a huge leap into the trajectory of what you wanna create,

There is a problem here.

There is a problem here.

And I would say that that problem is your ego being really tricky.

It is telling you things,

It is telling you lies,

It is creating meanings to things that don't have meanings.

It is creating stories for you that are really unhelpful in keeping you in the same place.

I say that with a lot of compassion and a lot of love because I have been there too.

Yeah,

Where nothing has worked,

Nothing appears to work,

Nothing does work because it doesn't appear to work.

And I've created a story that I can't do this and that everything I try doesn't work.

You need to start getting really disciplined with what kind of stories you are telling yourself,

What kind of meanings you are attaching to things that happen in your business and ask yourself,

Are these really helpful for me to move forward to what it is that I truly want to create in my business?

Because if it is not,

You need to change that story.

You really need to change that story.

It is no longer serving you.

Equally,

When you're making decisions about how to grow your business,

Yeah?

And I talk to my clients a lot.

I say,

When you're making a decision,

What would your six-figure CEO say about this?

Would they say yes or no?

And you should be operating in the same way,

Yeah?

When I want to work with that coach,

What would my desired state,

Like the highest vision that I had myself,

Say about the situation?

Because that takes your ego out of the story making,

Yeah?

And I'm really honing in on this idea about soulful entrepreneurs using this out of signs from the universe to not follow through on what they truly want to create in their business because it's bloody important.

And I see it so much.

It is a cop-out to me.

It is very rarely a sign from the universe and is most often thinly-veiled fear that has come from the ego that has created a story about signs from the universe to not do the thing that they had opened themselves to be able to do.

So what is the story that you are creating?

Is it helpful?

Because you can change the story.

You are the author of any of the stories that you have.

You are the author of the story that you have about your self-worth,

Your value,

About your capabilities.

You are the author of the story that you tell yourself about how you are seen on social media,

How you market yourself.

You are the author of the story about how your clients find you,

How easily that can happen for you.

So as I said before,

I have a story that my people find me.

They find me.

They may not comment on my things.

They may not even like the things that I have.

It might trigger the fuck out of them,

But they find me.

And once they're in my world,

My soul clients,

There is no escaping because they know their soul and my soul has made a contract that we need to work together.

And eventually,

This might be over a week,

It might be over a month,

Might be over a few years,

Eventually they come closer and closer until they're at the point where they work with me.

That is the story that I choose to tell myself.

And that story serves me to allow me to think more positively,

To have that energetic resonance of magnetism,

And to do the actions that I know are helping draw those people in.

Yeah?

So what is the story you're telling yourself?

You are allowed to change that because you are the author.

What is dropping in for you?

What story do you want to change about who you are and what you are doing in your business and where you are and what you are doing in your business?

What story?

Be mindful of the stories that you're attaching to events that happen in your business.

Be mindful of what you are making those events mean about you and your business because that all helps to create a story that is either helpful for you or not helpful for you.

And as I said,

We talk about this a lot with my clients and with my clients a lot is about what story are you creating here?

What are you thinking about this situation?

Because it is definitely not serving you and it's time to change that.

Yeah?

So for those of you who like doing this,

Here's your play work,

Home play I should call it.

What story are you authoring?

And if it's something that you don't like,

How can I start changing that?

Of course,

Writing this is going to be really helpful for you to know.

And then the next step for you is to act upon your new story,

I.

E.

Embody that.

Don't let it become another brain exercise,

Mind fodder for you to chew on.

When it becomes embodied,

When you start acting upon it,

That's when things start to change for you and your business.

Okay?

So don't just sit there and journal,

Go and do something about it.

Hi,

Sophie.

Yep.

As you know,

I'm working on the story about my value and my appearance.

Yeah.

Powerful story.

And as we have chatted about,

Your value is independent of that.

And of course,

Everything that we feel in our personal lives affects how we show up in our business.

Our business is a reflection of our personal life.

Our life is a reflection in our business.

And so this idea of value based on appearance,

That sets up a really hard standard to maintain.

Well,

That's how I feel about it,

Yeah.

And that is said again with a lot of love because I've been there where my value was based on my appearance.

And it set up a very,

The story was that I was only valuable if I appeared a certain way.

I worked in the sports industry,

Right?

Sports and health industry.

And there is a certain look,

Especially in Western culture,

That means that you are valuable.

And unhooking myself from that was the best thing that I have ever done for my stress levels,

For my body.

Yeah.

And of course,

For my mindset and energy.

As you were talking,

I was thinking I could start by choosing a new story.

I'm growing on myself.

Yeah.

Yes.

You can start a new story.

At every single moment,

We can change the story.

Yeah,

So earlier we were talking about your reactions or the story you create,

The meanings you attach to events that happen.

And I am very guilty of this,

Especially when it has meaning,

When I have associated it with something else that has happened in my past,

Like something traumatic,

Right?

I can quickly spiral into attaching meaning and story to an event that is actually very separate to what has happened to me in the past,

But looks similar.

And the mastery of this is catching yourself knowing that you are doing the story that is not serving you,

Stepping out and rewriting,

Choosing the new story.

All right,

Lovelies,

Any questions,

Drop them in here.

If you decide to do the play work,

You can also drop them into the group,

Soled Business Revolution.

All right,

Everyone,

Have a beautiful rest of your day,

Evening,

Wherever you are.

I will be back there.

I bring you something else juicy to not only think about,

Embody,

So that you can change your business and you can start moving on the trajectory to more ease,

Fun,

And that big,

Huge,

Juicy financial goal that you have for yourself in your sole work.