Working With Your Adult Self

Often in life, we can feel like we are moving from one trigger to the next, unable to get a sense of confidence or regulation. The intention of this meditation is to help users access their adult self or wise self, that is able to feel confident, grounded, and relaxed. Once we do this we will then also work with part(s) of ourselves that we might struggle with.

This meditation brings forward elements of internal family systems (IFS) and ego states.

Transcript

So for this exercise that we're going to do here today, You're going to want to make sure that not only are you going to have a space where you're not going to be disturbed that has a level of quietness to it, But it's also really useful to bring a journal to this exercise, Mainly because there are opportunities to reflect post-exercise. And I'm hoping that this is something that you might also return to as well. So the intention around this meditation or this exercise is to work with parts of ourselves. And when we are in relationship or walking through the world, We can often get into situations where we get reactive. Someone acts in a way that we don't like, Boundaries get crossed, Something hurtful gets said, And all of these things can take us away from being with our full selves and being in spaces where we feel that we need to react or set somebody straight. And there might be a lot of reasons for this. These might be parts of us that grew up in a certain way or parts that have a certain sense of how the world's supposed to be or how relationships are supposed to be, Who gets to treat us in a certain way. And so with our intention here is we're not going to condemn these parts of ourselves, But we are going to see if these parts are willing to relax back so that we might meet a more adult side of ourselves. And when I say adult, I'm simply referring to a somatic embodied way of being that allows us to access our clarity and our compassion, Our sense of courage and thoughtfulness, A sense of being that can have boundaries and that really allows us to be our full selves. So let's just take a moment and see if we can feel into this together. And just starting this meditation off with the invitation to go inside. That might be closing your eyes or leaving them open, Whatever feels best for you. And just beginning to drop into what might be present for you. You might notice yourself thinking about something or feeling something or tracking certain sensations. And just see if you can be aware of that. And as you begin to become aware of that, Just see if you can begin to feel into that part of you. Maybe it's a part of you that's holding tension or part that is really oriented towards a certain situation in your life or a part that doesn't know what to do or feels escalated in some way. And as we begin to dialogue with that part, We want to begin to offer an invitation for that part to step back. And what I mean by that is that when someone's nose-to-nose with us, It's hard to have a conversation with them. And we don't want to erase this part or parts that we're discovering. We're simply asking for a little bit more room so that we can fully hear them, Fully digest what they're saying. And you might offer this to them, Or to the one that you're connecting with, And it might say no. And that's okay. Maybe the outcome of this exercise or meditation today for you is simply to be with that part. And as that part maybe begins to step back, Just see if you can really track what you notice. Does your body move in a different way? Does something relax? Does something else open up? And as you're tracking this, Beginning to see if this part or parts of you are willing to step back, I want you to see if you can just call in that adult sense of self, The one that can feel curious, Courageous, Compassionate, Can have boundaries. You might do that through feeling how you desire to act in situations. Or maybe you recall from a TV show or a movie or even a real life example, How somebody acted that really modeled the way that you wanted to be. And as you call that in, See if you can really digest how that is an embodied place, Not just a mental place. See what it feels like in your body. And as you begin to call this in deeper, You might almost use the inhales and the exhales to do that. For example, Just breathing in that way of being, That image, That example that you've begun to work with. And as you continue to notice this adult side of yourself, This adult part becoming stronger, You might see what it's like for this part to be more a part of your life. If it was more present, How might you act in situations? How might you treat yourself or others? Just paying attention to the information that comes up. And when you feel like you've done that, For the amount of time that feels right for your nervous system, When you have the capacity to access here today, Let's just begin to come out of that internal state. If you closed your eyes, You could begin to open them slowly, Beginning to close out this exercise. And ideally, Maybe just taking a little bit of time here to journal about what came up for you. Was there a certain part that you connected to? Was there an adult part that you found or an adult side of yourself that you really felt into? If that part was to become more of a part of your life, How would you act? How would you treat yourself or other people? Just seeing what comes up. And if you had the experience of asking those parts or part to step back, And it wasn't willing to do that, What might that part need from you in order to begin to consider to step back? These are some questions just to sit with and see what begins to unfold. Thanks so much for spending some time with me here today. Have a great rest of your day.