Finding Balance

You must bring balance to yourself before you can bring balance to the world. But how do we find balance? So often, the idea of balance is thrown around without a lot of detail put into how we should go about understanding and finding balance within ourselves.

In this talk, Silas hopes to introduce some contemplations and meditations that you can use to help find balance.

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

My name is Silas Day and today we will be taking a look at something which I believe is tossed around a lot and given a lot of pomp and circumstance in the spirituality world,

But rarely ever specifically practiced or looked into.

This is balance.

So often in my teachings and conversations with students,

They want to devote themselves entirely to this meditative practice,

Or that scholarly study,

Or any fanciful idealistic pursuit.

Generally,

It is not long before I see them again and they are burnt out to the point where they don't want anything to do with their practice,

Or they never really ever began it at all.

Balance is everywhere,

And to be a master of balance is to be a master of yourself.

Now I'm not claiming to be a master of balance,

But you must bring balance to yourself before you can bring balance to the world.

This is taught in many traditions.

This is why you are achieving awakening,

Not for your sake,

But for the sake of others.

If you cannot change yourself,

What hope do you have to help others change themselves and see through eyes untainted by our malice and our self-interest,

Which is so often unconscious?

Balance is a multifaceted aspect of our existence.

It lay not only in how we conduct ourselves,

But how we feel about ourselves,

Where we put our energy,

Our considerations,

And our understandings.

In many ways,

The balance within us is like water flowing down a river.

If we didn't have so much stuff weighing us down,

We could easily just float down the river with ease.

But sadly,

We swirl around and around,

Getting in our own way in blatant and very sneaky ways.

Life is messy.

Life is painful.

Things happen and get in the way which can leave us deeply scarred and wounded if left unattended.

The wounds can cause deep blockages to our emotional,

Physical,

Mental,

And spiritual balance no matter what we wish it to be.

But if we work diligently,

Compassionately,

And with great humility and humbleness of mind,

We can remove those blockages and allow ourselves to find a deep inner and outer balance.

Much like the training of Scylla,

Or morality,

To know and practice balance can be refined and deepened basically into infinity.

It is a living practice which can never be fully mastered,

And anyone who says that they have,

I think is probably just trying to sell you something.

Once we take to heart the will and want to find balance,

And we sit with ourselves,

Fathoming what ignorances we may have,

Or what weaknesses might lay in us,

Then we take our first steps in this journey of balance.

And once that begins,

You won't be able to stop it.

You may fall off the path now and then,

But you can't get off the path entirely.

So enjoy the journey of this human experience for what it is.

Not seeking,

But being.

So let's take a look at some contemplations and meditations to help us find balance.

The first meditation one can do is to consider our own mortality,

Our wish for survival,

And what we fear most in this world.

Whether it be in silent contemplation,

Wandering through the forest,

Prayer,

Or on the meditation cushion,

It matters not.

What are you most afraid of?

What shakes you to your core?

Do you fear death?

Do you fear pain?

Perhaps it is utter oblivion,

Or that you won't hold yourself up to your own idea of yourself.

Sit.

Walk.

Write.

Consider.

But let your fears become blatantly clear to you.

Let them be felt and known down to the marrow of your bones.

Let your fears become you,

And know them so intimately that you let them go.

Know that this life is precious,

And fear keeps us from living it fully.

Who knows how long we have on this strange,

Wet rock going around a ball of spherical fire,

Hurling through infinite blackness.

So know your fears,

And let them go,

Finding a measure of groundedness in this freedom.

Once you feel as though you have sufficiently looked into fear and mortality,

Go over it again.

Much like the movies we watch and the books we read,

We don't catch everything the first time through.

In all of these practices and considerations,

It is good to be thorough.

The next contemplation deals with pleasure and guilt.

Consider all the guilt that burdens you.

Perhaps you feel guilt over words,

Actions,

Or their opposites of not saying things when you think you should,

Or not doing things when they needed done.

Perhaps you are guilty over eating too much,

Or eating too little,

Not spending enough time with your family,

Or not putting enough time into your passions.

What do you blame yourself for?

Life is messy,

Life is painful,

And at the end of the day we are flawed,

And that's okay.

Accept the reality of the day.

Accept that these things happened,

But instead of touching them with a heart full of fear,

Know them with a heart of forgiveness and compassion.

Do not let them cloud your heart and mind,

Poisoning the real strength you have within you.

If we are to be positive influences on the world,

We need to be able to forgive ourselves,

So that when others need forgiveness,

We can do so without the weight of our own guilt and fear upon us.

Moving right along,

The next thing you can meditate on deals with our own individual willpower and our depth of shame.

What are you ashamed of?

What keeps you from having the best day you can every day?

What holds you down so heavily that your willpower cannot lift it off you?

What are your biggest disappointments in yourself or in your life?

Why do they affect you so deeply and keep you from doing those things you truly wish you could be doing?

Really dig deeply and sit at the table of understanding within,

Inviting all these old thoughts,

Memories,

And actions to the table.

You will never find balance if you deny aspects of your life because you are ashamed of them,

And afraid you do not have the will to take them into the heart essence of your being.

To overcome them doesn't have to be by force of will,

But by the gentle nature which our will can have.

It is to be a warrior in a garden instead of a gardener in a war.

Next,

We consider love and we consider grief.

Two incredibly powerful feelings which can sway us to do things we never thought we would and make us feel highs and lows,

Previously unimaginable.

Close your eyes and lay out all of your grief and grieving in front of you.

Think of all of those who have come and gone,

Whether it be friends,

Family,

Pets,

Or anything.

We have all felt great loss,

And if we have not,

We will.

It is a part of being human,

But it is not the loss itself which is important,

But how we grow from it.

Whether or not we let that loss define us and make us fear,

The love of all those who have come and gone has not left this world,

But it resides in the heart of those they touched.

It is still in your heart,

Reborn again and again,

Each day acting as the spark of new love for this life,

For those around you and yourself as cheesy as it may sound.

Let the pain of grief flow away and be replaced with the felt love of those gone.

How wonderful.

Next,

In your journey of balance,

Work with truth and contemplate lies.

Know the truth,

The good and the beautiful of this world as best you can,

But in all of those things know the lies as well.

Not only the ones we tell other people,

But the ones we tell ourselves.

You cannot lie to yourself forever.

To do so leaves you cold and hollow.

You cannot lie about your own nature.

You must humble yourself to the lowest point you can and see the truth of your nature stripped bare of anything that you have told yourself over the years.

You must accept who,

Where and what you are exactly for what it is.

You must know that you have the will,

The good,

The true and the beauty to change that and become better without lying to yourself.

We are a pillar unto ourselves in this world.

We root ourselves to the earth and hold up the heavens and any cracks can cause us to collapse.

But even if we do collapse,

We can be built up stronger again as long as we choose to recognize lies and see truth.

Next,

We contemplate and meditate on insight and illusion,

Working our way into the more esoteric considerations of balance.

Yet,

No matter how esoteric or strange they may seem,

They are right at home in our every action and thought.

The greatest illusion of this world,

Taught not only by the Buddha,

But by every master of wisdom across the ages,

In one way or another,

Is the illusion of separation.

That we are skin-encapsulated egos cut off from the rest of the world and the rest of the universe.

To think of yourself as alone and not connected in any way at all to this world or to others is the greatest hallucination you can find yourself in.

Things you think are separate and different are actually one and the same.

Good and bad arise from the same place,

Up and down too.

We are all one people,

No matter what color of clothes or labels we wish to put on ourselves.

But we live as if we are all divided and that our actions do not ripple out to affect the entire world.

We are all connected,

And everything is connected,

Just as a wave crashing against a shore is as much the entire ocean as it is a wave.

All the atoms that make up your being were here long before you and will be here long after you.

You are all of the food and drink you have ever had,

All the conversations and thoughts that have ever and will ever come your way.

Like a great tapestry,

We are a thread,

One part of a whole.

We are all a part of the same great shifting,

Strange democracy wearing the billion masks of God.

So sit with this and know all things to be all other things,

And any distinction we have between them is merely for convenience of this life and not the base of their true insight and knowledge.

And finally,

You must work with attachment.

What attaches you to this world?

When you are born,

It is as if you are thrown out of a plane tethered to a boulder.

You cling to the boulder,

Thinking it will somehow help you,

When all it does is nothing of the sort.

Learning to let go of everything,

Because you will lose everything.

Everything in the universe,

Including your own self,

Is like snow on the desert sand,

Once here and then gone forevermore in that form it once held.

Moment to moment,

Even.

We are changing and shifting,

Becoming different.

You are not the same being who began listening to this little talk of mine.

That was then,

This is now.

All is ever-changing.

All is every moment arising and disappearing.

So ask yourself,

What attaches you to this world?

And learn to let it go.

When the time comes,

Know that this is how all things are.

Learn to let loved ones go,

And be strong for those who still remain.

And the most important thing,

Learn to let yourself go,

And be one with this process of experience when your time comes.

Balance is more than this,

But I think this is a good place to start,

If you have ever needed a consideration of where to begin.

Balance is a journey that isn't done in a day,

A week,

A month,

Or a year,

But a lifetime of practice and renewal.

It is a living practice which we can use to not only help ourselves,

But build a better and more balanced world by helping those around us.

Reviews

Love it, thx,!

Saved to favourites. Paused and contemplated many times and will continue to many more. Shared widely. Thank you

Good stuff, thanks

Wow. I highly, highly recommend this talk.

Very insightful talk x

To listening everyday , to know yourself a bit more everyday , to decide how to live everyday. ☀️😇🙌 Thank you 🙏🏼

Another insightful talk, thank you Silas 🙏

Just magical ☆thank you very much Silas for sharing with us your knowledge 🙏

I’ll be coming back for all your talks. They resonate in a variety of ways for me personally. Thank you.

Excellent advise 🙏

Hi Silas, my gratitude for your words. It's the first talk I hear from you and I'm definitely going to dive in to something more coming from you.

Balance is a difficult thing for me beiing partially disabled with ptsd and add (very busy mind..😆) so I find some peace in meditation and contemplation, you definitely opened something up. 🙏

Thank you Silas. There was so much content and where does one start, with fear, shame, guilt, etc?
Just listening to the talk helped me gained a little balance.

Wonderful insight, thank you so much, I realize I need to practice much 😊

Thank you Silas. You touched on some very good key points for self acceptance, and said with much compassion.

This is a great talk - and lesson. Thank you.

Very timely for me, and extremely helpful. I appreciated the distinct sequence provided of areas to focus upon, whether a sequence was intended or not. I have long wondered where to start, and have jumped from one area to another at random, hoping to find a good place and gleaning insight along the way, but never knowing where to move to next. Likewise, I REALLY appreciated the point to repeat the focus area once you feel you are done for the time being.

The analogy of never catching everything on the first viewing of a movie was particularly apt. I am finding more and more things like this as I age, especially in music and tv/movies that I enjoyed as a child. With the experience of decades more life under my belt, nuances lost on the child-me come out in subtle ways as I revisit these old favorites. So too when I re-read poetry and writings from my teen years and beyond.

One is never "finished" and is always learning. Yet it would be a mistake to solely focus on one area, which as you noted, can lead to boredom. A "well-rounded application" is highly sought after in colleges and workplaces (I have worked in vocational counseling for decades, so this is a common refrain in my line of work). Being well-rounded hopefully includes some semblance of balance as well. It is nice to hear this concept applied to self-development as well as meditative practices.

Thank you for sharing this talk with us. Highly recommended and extremely worthwhile, in my opinion. I see the light within you. 🤲🏻❤️🤲🏻

So much wonderful insight, Silas. Thank you. Balance has been a goal for the past 31 years in recovery. Balance and the awakening are the North Star of why we work the 12 steps which brought me to meditation. I was taught by those who came before that if I devote myself to the practice, I do not have to worry about finding balance so much. Balance will find me. And yes, the wisdom that we are One, that there are no "others," is one of the pearls I, too, have discovered in meditation and Buddhism. Thank you. These talks are very helpful. I look forward to them.