What Is Your Story?

What is the story you tell yourself that is maybe keeping you from fully living the life you want to live? How can understanding your stories better help you to connect more to your passion and purpose? What is your archetype? In this podcast, we will explore our stories and how they are linked to our experience, the way we see the world and the freedom we think we have. Our stories can show us a lot about our beliefs and those parts of us that cannot move on.

Transcript

Hi,

This is Muneera again and this podcast is all about finding your passion and purpose.

And last time we spoke about strength and natural strength and seeing this like as one of the things that are really important for us to find our passion and purpose.

And yeah,

Like in the essence of strength and finding our strength is also a lot like the way we see this world and the way we are kind of like anchored in this world.

And I've seen one of the parts of this which is what are the kind of stories that we're telling us every day about ourself,

About why things are happening to us.

So really the stories that we tell ourselves,

The way we look at the world,

Our view onto the world is another thing that can either support us to understand ourself better and understand what is,

Yeah,

Somehow what is ruling our life.

And at the same time,

Yeah,

They help us to understand when we might do things in life that are actually not what we really want to do.

And that are more related to the stories.

And for that I felt it was really important for me to find a way how I can observe myself from a different perspective.

Basically it's almost like you observe yourself from the third person.

And if you like Ken Wobar and even if you don't like him and really like how he puts together like how we can see ourselves and reflect ourselves.

So he describes this third person perspective which I found really useful.

And it's basically has different elements.

So one part of it is that I can observe myself from a different perspective,

My behaviors,

My stories.

And then obviously also put myself into other people's shoes and then also see the collective.

I can see my part in this world,

In this life,

In this country from a higher perspective of the whole collective.

And kind of like even relate everything I do and everything I experience to that higher perspective.

And I know this sounds right now maybe really big and really like not practical.

And that's why for me the concept of archetypes was a really good way of understanding that.

So I don't know if you have heard of archetypes yet.

There's a few really nice books about it that describe all sorts of archetypes that we can find.

But basically it is,

So let's say I'm experiencing a fear and I conquer this fear.

Or let's say I don't conquer it but I'm still stuck in this fear and I can't go over it.

And so I see or I cannot,

Maybe I even feel that something in my life has to change but I'm kind of stuck in this thing that I don't want to look at.

Or in this change that feels super uncomfortable.

Whatever it is.

So in a way the archetype here would be a hero.

So what the hero is doing,

The story of the hero is,

He goes on to a journey and on that journey he comes,

He has many different difficulties.

And through these difficulties and through conquering,

Let's say these difficulties are like conquering his own biggest fears.

And when he's done with it and he's conquered that big demon or dragon or whatever,

He comes out of it like the hero.

And so basically when I'm stuck with such a story,

Recognizing in such a moment that I'm also in an archetypal story can help us to kind of step back from what we are experiencing.

So basically when I experience a situation what is really difficult,

When I can see it from that perspective of the archetype,

It doesn't mean that this is not happening to me.

Of course it's still happening to me.

And at the same time what it does is it gives me a little bit of space.

It gives me a little bit of space between what is actually happening and how I can look at it.

Let's say I have this archetype.

All of a sudden I can look at what is happening in my life from that story of the archetype.

And it's kind of like I can analyze it.

I can look at this hero story and see,

Okay,

What's happening in that hero story?

How does the hero feel in different stages of his hero story?

What happens before he can actually tackle the dragon?

What happens afterwards?

And what it does for me when I'm stuck in this situation of conquering my fear or going beyond something is it gives me the possibility to observe myself without all these emotions and all this kind of like when we are in this story and it's very emotional it's sometimes really hard to step back and to not be emotional.

When I look at the hero story I can be very almost very mind driven and just explain it analytically.

So it seems like,

And I highly recommend Marianne Williamson,

She wrote a book and she has an audio for that that goes into these hero stories and I love the way she describes it.

Basically much better than I just did.

But it seems like every one of us is having different archetypal situations again and again and sometimes it helps us in the moment to see,

Wow,

This is really archetypal.

So we don't cling so much on that situation.

At the same time it gives us also a hint on our passion and purpose because there are certain archetypes that seem to be much more present in our lives.

And so understanding these archetypes can help us to see what kind of type we are and it literally it gives us some hints and some more information about what could be our path if this archetype is coming into my life again and again.

And so I experience that the archetypes can also change over time but some of them really like stay with us because they seem to be a really deep story that we carry with us.

So about stories,

I want to go deeper into the stories because it's really interesting to look into it,

Right,

To look into one story.

And one story I want to look into right now is the victim story.

The victim story is,

Let's say,

I've had something happening in my life that wasn't really nice or that made me feel like a victim of a situation,

Of a person.

And usually the victim story starts in early childhood when we experience something that makes us a victim.

And so what we do when we have experienced a victim story is we rewrite that story again and again.

Whenever someone is like our arbitrator,

We put ourselves immediately into this victim story,

Which means we are more likely sometimes to become the victim because we know that story already,

We have written that story already,

We have literally experienced that story already.

Okay,

So I hope it comes across in the right way,

So I'm not saying anyone who has ever been a victim is their fault or so.

I'm just trying to show how stories that we carry can actually influence the way we behave in certain situations.

And let's say if I have been a victim already,

It's so much easier for me to go back into that story,

Not only because it has happened to me already,

But because my whole system feels really good in that story.

It's familiar and even our body supports it because it says,

Oh yeah,

I know that feeling and it's familiar.

And this familiarity is something that makes us more likely to happen.

So if we want to change things in our life,

It's important to understand our stories first,

So the story we write,

And then we can in a moment when this same story comes up again,

Like the victim story,

And I'm saying this because victim story is definitely also one of my stories.

So in a moment,

When we go into this and we experience a situation that could most very likely become a victim story for us again,

To say,

Wait a second,

I don't have to be the victim.

I don't have to write that victim story anymore.

And that is how we then can do the first step,

Right?

I mean,

The first step is just becoming aware of the fact that you write that story again.

Why not even,

You don't have to do anything.

Awareness is the first step.

If that's becoming clear to you,

That's already super,

Super powerful.

And the second step could be to say,

I'm deciding differently.

So really it's like to understand and to empower yourself that you can actually always change a victim story or any other story.

I'm just using it because it's an example that I know from my own life,

But change,

Like take any other story that you want.

For example,

The not good enough story,

You know,

Or the story of I'm only valued if I do something story,

Or I always have to work hard to get something out of it or whatever it is,

Or I only deserve to rest if I've worked my ass off,

Whatever it is.

So there's multiple stories and no one is only writing one story.

Usually we have multiple,

Many,

Many me stories in our life.

So what fascinates me about that is to really like become curious about the way I tell myself what is happening in my life.

And about the way that I explain situations to me.

And the more awake I am with the storytelling aspect of myself,

The easier it becomes for me to understand.

The easier it becomes to me to peel it off,

Almost like an onion,

You peel off layer by layer.

And at the beginning it's only awareness,

You can't do anything,

You're going right again into the same story.

But what has changed is you can observe yourself with this.

So you're going into that story but something has shifted,

Your perspective has shifted slightly,

You're still fully in it,

You still maybe judge yourself for what the heck,

I know it better and I'm still again in it,

But something has shifted,

You see yourself more from an observatory perspective.

And then over time you might recognize it's getting less powerful on you,

Right,

Or there's this other part,

This empowered part that says I can change my story,

That becomes much stronger.

And then one day you feel like I'm liberated,

I can just change that story by myself.

I can just change it and I can decide what kind of story I tell.

But until you are there,

You first really have to be aware of what kind of stories you tell.

So,

I mean,

It sounds all really very easy,

It's kind of a thing and so this awareness really comes from awareness.

Did I just say this awareness comes from awareness?

Ok.

Yes,

What I actually wanted to say is this awareness comes from really like going into this observatory mode and for me what really really helped to get into this observatory mode was practicing meditation because it gives you kind of like that ability to be whatever is coming and you become the observer and you can accept everything with curiosity and kindness but you're not trying to change it and you just are with what is.

And the other thing that really helped me was practicing body awareness and especially yoga helped me but,

You know,

See whatever helps you.

There's multiple,

Many many practices out there.

And the aspect that helped me in yoga was,

So let's say you go,

Like I practice forest yoga which is kind of a strong practice and it's really helped,

Like the focus of forest yoga is really to go into your body and to understand your habitual behavior through that.

And so,

For example,

You go into a posture that is really hard for you to go into or to stay in and then all of a sudden it's becoming hard.

That's when your habitual storytelling kicks off,

Right?

And so I'm in this posture and I'm like,

I can't do this anymore and then at one point I can recognize what is this habitual behavior that comes up whenever I'm doing something that I don't want to do or whenever an intense emotion comes up or whatever.

So it starts giving me more insights about my own experience and it also shows me that that behavior that I have on the mat is actually exactly the same behavior that I have in real life.

And the more I learn on the mat to stay with it,

To stay aware with it,

To not literally go unconscious but to really feel this discomfort and to stay with it,

The more I learn it for my real life.

And so next time when there is something that makes me literally want to numb out,

I can maybe breathe through it more likely.

So that's why this practice really helped me a lot.

So coming to your passionate purpose again and again,

What does it all mean?

Why is this important that you know about your stories and maybe even your archetypes?

Yeah,

All of this give you more information about what your path is and what it is not.

And it helps you really to free yourself from your path,

The part of your path that is not really your path but that you just repeat because it became one of your stories one day.

And so you go more into choosing what is actually important for you in your life to happen instead of being driven by these stories and being driven by repeating them again and again.

I've done a really beautiful workshop at the beginning of the year where we also looked into like when we are triggered in a situation or when a relationship,

You know,

In a relationship we have difficulties,

We face difficulties or different fights come up again and again.

But this for example has to do with a shame story very often.

So the deeply rooted story was that,

And that's again more like something that might have happened in childhood but can also happen in adulthood,

Is we have done something and we were shamed for it.

That doesn't have to be a conscious shaming,

Right?

It can just happen through,

You know,

Our behavior.

And so what it does to us is that when we get shamed about something,

Whenever someone says something to us that repeats that shame story that we had once,

It also repeats all these feelings that we had back then.

And then we can't listen to our partner anymore and we can't really stay with us anymore.

But because they are saying this,

We feel like this person is causing my pain.

And what we cannot see in such a moment is that the kind of pain that we feel this other person is causing is actually coming from us reliving our shame moment.

And I mean,

I could only talk about this for ages.

For me it's just really fascinating and I hope you see and I hope it comes across,

I'm not like,

I don't know all the answers and I don't know everything about all these phenomenons and it's not for me to tell you the truth,

Right?

What I'm trying is to explain to you phenomenons and mechanics that I found for myself and that I found that once they were clear to me,

They really helped me to let go of them and to heal and to really go my path of passion and purpose.

And it's also not over anytime,

Right?

It's not like I have nailed it now and then I'm done with it.

It's basically,

It's a constant journey and it's coming back again and again.

These stories come back,

Different stories come and it's really not about getting rid of all these stories.

It's more about just having,

Becoming more knowledgeable about how to work with these stories and to literally train this as a skill set to not get drawn away by it.

And the more you kind of practice that skill,

The more I practice that skill,

The more I understand that they still are gonna kick my ass,

But not that long,

Right?

They kick my ass maybe for an afternoon,

But then it's gone again.

Instead,

Versus in the past,

They would have maybe kicked my ass for a few months or maybe even a year.

And so one of the stories that I felt was really strong in my life lately was I had a few body issues and my body wasn't really super healthy and I didn't have a lot of energy and stuff like that.

And so all of a sudden,

The story became really powerful because when you have something going on for a few weeks,

You're like,

Whatever,

It's gonna go away and I can still stay optimistic.

But after a few months,

Especially when the same thing comes again,

I could tell that my whole system,

Every time symptoms would come back,

Would say,

Oh my God,

It's all the same again.

And what the story did was I didn't even see improvements anymore because for me,

I just fell down all the way into that hole again saying,

Wow,

I have the same thing again,

Right?

I couldn't even see that even if symptoms came back,

It was improving.

Maybe not in the amount that I wished for,

But that something was becoming better.

And so I created a health story,

Right?

And all of a sudden,

In my mind,

In the back of my mind,

I would tell myself,

I'm weak,

My body is weak.

You know what I mean?

And through that,

Maybe you might have recognized that,

But I'm also like a real geek when it comes to brain science and all sorts of scientific aha moments lately.

And I have to say,

It's really powerful to really look into what are the things you're repeating to yourself again and again.

And the interesting thing comes,

So you can basically reprogram your brain.

So neuroplasticity suggests that we can change the function and the structure of our brain by bringing different things into our attention,

Which means when I start to say to myself that I'm strong,

My body is strong and healthy,

I give that story into my system and after a while,

It becomes the way I believe and then it becomes the way I behave.

And that's really interesting because in the time when I thought I'm weak,

My body is weak,

I'm super sick,

I started having a different body language,

Right?

I wouldn't go walk that straight anymore.

My whole system would tell me,

Oh,

I'm so weak.

And obviously,

What happened is I became even weaker.

So when I tell myself every day I'm strong,

My body is strong,

My whole system starts to be straighter again and feel like,

Yeah,

There is strength in me and recognize the strength more than the weakness.

Right,

When I tell the weakness story,

My body is recognizing weakness more than strength.

Oh my God,

I really hope that this is clear to you and that is not super complicated.

If it is,

Please leave it to me in comments so I can improve that or I can give you more examples.

But that's kind of like my aha moment with this.

And so,

Yeah,

Stories,

The way I see the world,

You know what?

We sometimes,

At least I,

Sometimes really think,

Yeah,

Everyone sees the world in the same way I do,

Like with the same glasses.

But what I found lately,

Or not only lately,

But it's becoming clearer and clearer to me that every one of us has a totally different way of looking at the world.

And I mean,

If you go deeper into consciousness work,

Yeah,

You might even say,

No matter what happens to me,

I'm the creator of my own reality.

So everything that happens to me is my own creation.

And so if everything of that is my own creation,

I can also change that creation anytime.

And so,

Yeah,

I mean,

Many,

Many things to say about that.

One thing that I'm doing right now,

And maybe you want to test this at home as well,

Is I'm using an audio recording system.

And it's basically,

It's different recordings.

They call them paraliminals.

And let me just see if I find who they are from,

Because it's a learning institute.

Oh,

Man,

What was it again?

Where were they from again?

So this learning institute is really interesting.

So they make these audio recordings,

And they use some kind of NLP practice,

Or NLP method.

You have to have audio headphones,

Like headphones that can have a left and a right side.

Stereo headphones,

That's the right name.

And this is really funny.

I can't get together my mind really properly.

And basically what happens when you use these headphones,

They can kind of speak to you in both ears,

And it somehow does something with the way you perceive the message,

Because they can help you to really go into your subconscious and retrain your subconscious.

Because many of the stories that we actually have are in our subconscious.

They are so deeply rooted,

Because we have told them so many times to us,

Or we have subconsciously carried them with us.

And that's just about stories.

They are very,

Very often,

First of all,

Very subconscious.

And only after time and time and time,

They come up to consciousness,

Or they become our shadows.

And shadows are things that we don't want to look at.

So we hide them as our shadows.

So Paul Cili is the guy who is doing these recordings,

And it's called Learning Strategies Corporation.

So I can highly recommend them.

For me,

It really feels like using these paraliminals and these recordings helps me to reprogram.

You can also use all sorts of affirmation practices.

And just like the fact that you repeat a certain sentence every day with some kind of energy that is very positive can make it happen too.

So some people say it's like if you like think something,

Even if it is not in your life,

But you think it in a way as if it would be already,

You can reprogram that.

You can say,

I for example could say I'm so grateful and thankful that my body is so strong and so healthy.

But when you do that kind of stuff,

It's also important that you have the right energy for it.

Because in the end,

One of the things,

Like we can reprogram our subconscious and our mind and everything,

But we're also energy.

Part of us is energy,

And who we are is energy.

So whatever energy we emanate day to day,

That's what comes into our life.

So if I tell myself that stuff,

I need to really mean it.

And sometimes you don't mean it,

Especially at the beginning,

Because this other story is much more powerful.

For example,

For me,

It's like no,

My body is still not strong.

So I have to make something that makes me feel better first.

So what I do very often is I do a really nice yoga practice where I get my energy moving,

And then I do positive affirmations or I feel how would it feel for me to be in my favorite place and be just happy and everything.

And that's how you can do this whole reprogramming.

Anyways,

This is a topic for whole podcast in itself.

Coming back to stories and coming back to passion and purpose.

So the way you see the world,

The kind of stories you tell to yourself define the kind of path you go in your life.

And if you want to dive deeper into your passion and purpose,

It's important to first of all understand where you at right now,

To kind of get a picture of your status quo.

Because sometimes you might even already know your passion and purpose,

But for some reason it's not working out.

You're like,

I want this,

But it's not happening no matter how much I try.

The reason could be because you maybe still write some stories that don't support this outcome to happen,

Right?

And also it can really help us to understand the archetypes and what would be supportive for us in our lifetime,

In our path.

Okay.

I hope this storytelling story about passion and purpose gave you some insights.

I gave you some really important topics,

Like in a very condensed form,

And it took me really long time to grasp all these things.

For me,

It's like so many different information in this right now.

So let it sink in.

And also,

You know,

How I was able to grasp these things was not so much about,

It was not so much hearing about them.

Hearing about them helped me to understand the concept in general.

But then what really helped me was to experience these situations and to then observe the stories and how they unfold,

And to then experience how,

When I change a story,

It can actually shift or when I'm aware of a story that it already doesn't have so much power over me.

Let me know what you think.

Let me know if you have a story about your own stories or if you know your archetype or anything that I haven't said about archetypes.

Please share them.

Thank you so much,

And we're gonna go into a practice now.

In every segment,

In every podcast,

I have one part that is more practical because in the end,

You know,

What at least my experience is,

Is the more I practice the things,

The clearer they get for me and the more tangible they become for me.

And so this practice can help you with reprogramming your own stories,

Maybe becoming more aware of your stories.

And you can do this after you have done any kind of practice like meditation or yoga practice,

But you can also do it just as it is.

And you can do it like in the morning,

Early in the morning is first thing,

Which I do.

I do my practices right in the morning before I start anything else because it's kind of,

It sets the tone of my day.

But even if you do that during the day or at night,

It will benefit you.

So find a place and a space where it works for you to do it.

And then find a way to anchor yourself,

Like find a nice place in a nice room that you really like and that you feel safe.

Make sure no one is going to disturb you right now.

And then you can really sit,

You can sit in meditation posture,

But you can also just lean against the wall and sit in a leaning way.

So it's kind of like the wall is carrying you.

Make sure you're not cold and if you feel like you could get cold,

Take a blanket.

Now start fully arriving.

Maybe you want to take three very deep breaths to fully arrive in this place in the here and now.

Deeply in through your nose and out through your mouth.

When you breathe out,

Feel free to really sigh out,

So that really helps us to release even more.

And through your breathing,

Let go of everything that does not serve you anymore,

Everything that you feel like you're still carrying from the day,

From the week.

And allow yourself to fully let go and arrive in a relaxed state.

Feel how you release the tension in your shoulders,

In your jaw and in your neck.

Fully arriving in the here and now.

Allow yourself to just be.

Feel how is it for you to just be and to just allow everything to come and go.

So whatever thought comes,

Whatever body sensation and emotion comes,

Allow yourself to be an observer.

So you're not going into any of that,

But you start just like recognizing when something comes into your attention and then let go of it again.

And now choose for yourself a story that you feel like you have repeated in your life multiple times already.

If you don't know what kind of story,

Maybe start with an experience that you feel could have some kind of story in it,

Because you feel like that experience has happened multiple times with different people already.

And if that's not available for you,

Then just get into a more questioning mode.

So just ask what is the story,

What could be a story that I carry in my life?

And not so much in thinking about a story,

But really like ask your own wisdom to show you something.

And whatever comes up first,

Just be with it.

And if you have a story,

Same thing.

Feel for how can you just look at it,

Almost as if you watch a movie,

As if you watch this movie of being in that story.

Like I spoke about this archetypal story of the hero,

Maybe you have one of these stories where you're like fighting a dragon,

Your very personal dragon or whatever it is.

So try to look at your story in that way that is almost like the third party perspective.

And the same way you would look into an archetypal story.

And really see and feel and hear all parts of the story.

So if it's unpleasant,

Feel for where in the body can you feel this unpleasant story?

And what does it do with you and with your system?

And now bring into your attention what could be a way for you to rewrite your story?

What could be the different story?

Like when I said my body was weak,

My different story was my body is strong and healthy.

So what could be the story that you actually want to write?

You might feel resistance about doing this right now.

Feel this resistance and see if you can still do it.

And maybe you can't say right away I'm healthy,

But maybe you can say I'm better.

Start with little steps.

The more you allow the more it's gonna happen,

But still has to be in the pace that you feel I can handle it.

And now because that story,

That new rewritten story maybe feels a bit out of place or not really real for you,

Feel for how can you embody this?

Is there maybe a person,

A figure,

A picture that would perfectly describe that different story?

Maybe it's another person that lives what you want to live already,

That you admire and so you imagine that person or you imagine yourself in the near future fully being in that story,

In that new story.

What I do is I imagine myself being super strong and healthy by seeing a different person that for me is literally a manifestation of strength and healthy body.

So see that person or see yourself in the future fully in this different mode with this living that different story.

And see,

Feel and hear your own empowerment with this.

How do you feel when you're fully in that other story?

What do you do?

How do people around you react with you?

How do you behave towards yourself and towards others?

And the more you feel it,

The more real it becomes.

Wonderful.

So I want you to deeply embrace that new story and to literally thank your life for giving you exactly this,

Even if it is still in the future.

Bring gratitude into all of that seeing this picture,

Bringing gratitude and say I'm so grateful and thankful that I am so strong and healthy or whatever your story is.

Keep on breathing deeply while you're thinking for that story,

For that new way of looking at your story.

And take three more deep breaths.

Take a deep inhale in and a slow exhale out.

Then keep on bringing your attention,

Letting go of the story,

Bringing the attention back to your breath,

To your breathing and observe these three breaths,

Giving you a bridge back to reality,

To what you're doing right now.

And then when you're ready,

You can start arriving back where you're sitting.

Maybe,

Yeah,

Keep your eyes still closed but,

You know,

Stretch yourself and just start tuning in with yourself first and with this look inside.

How did that feel?

How do you feel right now?

And when you're ready,

Open your eyes.

Wasn't that wonderful?

Yes or no?

I'm excited to hear what it did with you,

If it was easy or not.

And let me know if you want to have more guidance into how to explain this.

My experience is also,

At the beginning it was really hard for me to visualize things.

It really took me some time.

And really before I could go into visualizing a current old story and then visualizing the new one,

I had to literally start observing myself in my life and then see,

Ah,

This could be a story.

So before you do that,

Go story hunting but not in a judgmental way,

Not in like,

Wow,

That's an awful story,

I really need to change that,

But more in a curious way.

So it's really important that you cultivate the attitude to be curious and kind towards yourself,

Right?

We don't want to become like these control flicks,

Controlling every thought and every action about ourselves,

But rather be curious scientists who look into all aspects of our being so we can become the best version of ourselves,

But still in a natural way,

Not in a I control myself now way.

I hope that makes sense for you.

I found the more I want to control myself,

The less it becomes a real natural flow of stepping into my power.

And yeah,

So there is a new commenting way.

You can actually give me audio comments and questions,

At least over anchor.

And you can obviously also just write comments.

I would love to hear your questions about these topics.

What is it that you want me to talk about in the same sequence or in a different one?

Is there any other question you have about finding your passion and purpose?

Where are your own difficulties with this?

I would love to hear your sharings and your ideas and also what helped you.

Thank you so much and see you next time.

Reviews

I really enjoyed this topic and your insights surrounding our stories. For me, it was clear that my most prominent story is I am not safe. It felt comforting to cultivate hope towards my future self during the visualization and feeling meditation. Thank you so much 🦋💚

This was really nice. I'm now going story hunting for stories in my life , in a non judgmental way :-) Thanks so much!

Thank you. I found an old shame story that isn't based on truth. I felt an opening into a new view of myself. Yay! So grateful for your insight :)

This was so wonderful thank you for sharing. I am also a Forrest Yogi 🌟🌟🌟 so was like yasssss 😄

I loved this genuine talk.
Thank for the insights 😊

I loved this. ❤️❤️❤️

Mounira❣️
God has given me a Goldmine of Insight and Understanding throughout my day, beginning with my meditation on His Word: Philippians 4:11❣️
As I listened and contemplated your sharing, I realized that your Talk and Practice was a continuation of His blessing for me❣️
I am experiencing ILLUMINATION, PEACE and FREEDOM. 💡🕯🌟🗽🇺🇸💗
Thank you for being an Instrument in helping to bring the fullness of His Blessing to me today. 🙏🏻💕