Wherever you are right now,
Take a second to land.
If it feels safe,
Let your eyes soften or close.
Unclench your jaw.
Let your shoulders drop.
Feel the weight of your body being held by the chair,
The bed,
The couch.
In through the nose for four.
Hold for two.
Out through the mouth for six.
One more time.
In for four.
Hold two.
Out for six.
Let the breath do its thing.
We're sitting with the fifth hindrance.
Doubt.
Doubt.
Not honest questions.
Not,
I want to understand.
This is the voice that says,
This probably won't work.
Other people can meditate.
Not you.
You're too broken.
Too thin.
Too late.
Too busy.
If that voice feels familiar,
You're in the right room.
In the old language,
It's called vichiki cha.
A kind of mental stiffness that can't step forward.
In our world,
It shows up as imposter syndrome.
I'm not a real anything.
Over-researching every path and never choosing one.
Scrolling meditations instead of pressing play.
Standing at the edge of the pool.
Arguing with the water.
Instead of getting in.
Underneath,
There's usually a body story.
You tried before and failed.
It hurt.
You trusted and got left.
It hurt.
You opened up and got laughed at.
It hurt.
So the nervous system says,
I know how to keep you safe.
We just won't let you try anything that really matters.
Doubt becomes a freeze response in disguise.
Not panic.
Not sleep.
Just stuck.
We're not here to hate that.
We're here to see if it's still helping you live.
There are two kinds of doubt.
Hindrance doubt says,
This won't work.
I'm broken.
Why bother?
It leaks your energy.
Keeps you on the couch.
Honest doubt says,
What is this life?
Who am I really?
That doubt has fire in it.
It pushes you toward practice.
We're not trying to kill doubt.
We're trying to flip it.
From the voice that shuts you down to the question that wakes you up.
Let's do a small experiment.
If it feels okay,
Keep your eyes soft.
Or closed.
Feel the weight of your body.
Contact with the chair or bed.
Feet or legs resting on something solid.
Take one slow breath in for four.
And out for six.
Now bring up a gentle thought.
Maybe this practice could help me.
Right when that thought appears,
Notice the pushback.
Where do you feel the no?
Chest pulling in.
Throat getting tight.
Shoulders curling forward.
A little collapse in the belly.
You don't have to fix it.
Just name it quietly.
This is doubt.
This is protection.
Stay with the sensations for a few breaths.
Tenderness.
Warmth.
Tightness.
Heaviness.
Pulling back.
You're learning what doubt feels like in your body.
You're putting a flashlight on it.
Now flip the question a little.
I don't have to solve my whole life today.
What if my only job is to finish this one sit?
Notice if there's even 5% more space.
Breathe into that space.
In for four.
Out for six.
Relax.
You don't have to become a perfect believer.
You just have to make enough room to take the next step.
Doubt loves isolation.
I'm the only one whose mind is this messy.
I'm the only one who can't get this right.
You're here with me right now.
And with everybody else who has ever listened to this same track.
That spiritual friendship in a loud world.
Another voice quietly saying,
Yeah,
My mind is wild too.
And we practice anyway.
Before we close,
Check in again.
Where is doubt in your body right now?
Is it exactly the same as when we started?
Or did something shift even 1%?
If it's softened at all,
That's real data.
Your system just learned.
I can feel doubt and still practice.
When the voice comes back and says,
Not you.
You know the move.
Feel your feet.
Take a breath.
Name it.
This is doubt.
And if you can,
Show up anyway.
Stillness is rebellion.
Compassion is a weapon.
Peace is within.
Carry all.
