I Am - Appendix: What Is My "I Am"?

After 46 days of reflecting on Jesus as the I Am, in this reflective contemplation, we pull together the threads and ask the question, "If this is who Christ is, then who am I?" Discover what your "I Am" is, and be ready for a deep healing as you understand what the true nature of Christ means for your true nature.

This is a recorded version of the reflection from the final "Lent Day 47" that was Live at Easter.

Transcript

Hello friends,

This is Mark Gladman,

Also known as Brother Frederick James,

Your Friendly Neighbourhood Monk in Docs,

Welcoming you to this special conclusion to our I Am Reflection series,

Where for the past 46 days we've reflected on the I Am statements of Jesus in the Gospel of John.

Today we're going to draw all of that to a close and ask ourselves the question,

If this is who Jesus is,

Then who am I?

Who are you?

Who are we?

What is our I Am?

So as we begin,

As always,

I invite you to sit,

Be comfortable,

Take a deep breath in and out.

Settle into this moment.

Allow yourself to become aware of the presence of God here and now.

Now we've just journeyed through the I Am statements of Jesus in the Gospel of John.

I am the Bread of Life.

I am the Light of the World.

I am the Door.

I am the Good Shepherd.

I am the Way,

The Truth and the Life.

I am the True Vine.

These statements aren't just words.

They reveal to us the heart of Jesus' mission and for us it means we are fully nourished in Christ.

We no longer live in darkness.

We have access to God through Him.

There's no more gatekeepers anymore.

We are led and protected by a Good Shepherd.

We have resurrection hope,

Not just sometime in the future,

But now.

We have a clear path to follow and we are sustained daily by that True Vine.

Each one of these I Am statements is more than a poetic metaphor.

They are revelations.

They are glimpses into the very nature of God,

Made flesh,

Of the Word,

The Logos,

Who was with God in the beginning,

Who is God,

Who is the heartbeat behind all creation,

The One through whom all things were made and in whom all things hold together.

And ultimately,

We've seen the eternal I Am,

Not just a teacher,

Not just a miracle worker,

But the presence of the Divine incarnate,

Of God living in flesh.

Jesus is the I Am who walked among us,

The One who shows us not only who God is,

But who we are.

The One who invites us to abide,

Who invites us to follow,

To trust and ultimately to love.

And Easter,

The Easter story,

The Passion story,

Is the lens through which we see all these truths converge.

For example,

The empty tomb is not just the finale,

It's an unveiling.

The Cross and Resurrection together show us the heart of God,

The eternal I Am,

Who holds the galaxies in their hands.

That this I Am is not above suffering,

But enters into it fully with us.

This I Am entered our violence and our fear,

Our betrayal,

Our death,

And did not walk away.

We're told that Jesus bore the burdens of our sins.

Now,

For many,

This has long meant one thing,

That Jesus died instead of us to take on a punishment that we somehow deserved.

Now,

This view,

Which is often called the penal substitution atonement theory,

Says that we're guilty and God's justice demands some sort of payment,

Which Jesus provides.

But I'd like to suggest to you there's another way to see the Cross,

One that's just as deeply rooted in Scripture and the early church.

This way is not based in a transaction,

But this way is based in restoration.

Here's what this view sees,

That Jesus,

As the eternal I Am,

Enters into every dimension of our human brokenness.

That when we betray,

When we deny,

When we run from,

This God,

This eternal I Am does not retaliate.

This God,

This I Am remains.

That he bears the burden of our sin,

Not by absorbing God's wrath,

But by holding our pain with us.

By holding our violence,

Beholding our estrangement and transforming those things into love.

Alan Watts once wrote,

And I quote,

Christ bears the burden of our sins.

That is,

He remains in union with us,

Even though we crucify him and spit on him.

He continues to dwell within us and offers our lives to God,

Even though we commit every imaginable form of depravity.

All that remains is for us to say yes.

Amen.

Because the fact is the fact.

Here's the bit I really want you to get still in the quote,

We have been given union with God,

Whether we like it or not,

Want it or not,

Or know it or not.

And this,

My friends,

This is the radical gift of the cross.

This,

This is the ultimate definition of grace.

It is,

As I like to call it,

Audacious,

Audacious grace.

And as humans,

We struggle with this grace so much that many people find it offensive,

Share this idea of understanding the events of the cross and the resurrection,

And people get angry.

But the truth is,

Friends,

Union is not something we earn,

It is something God has already accomplished.

The incarnation means we don't have to climb a ladder to God.

God has descended to us and the cross.

Now the cross is the place where that descent reaches its deepest depths.

Even when in our own violent rejection of God or ourselves or the violence we we play on one another,

Even then God does not abandon us.

The cross isn't God turning away from us.

The cross is entirely the opposite.

It's God refusing to turn away from us.

And why would Jesus do this?

Because the I Am,

Who is love,

Desires nothing more than union,

Not as an idea,

But as the deepest reality of your being.

And if you take nothing else away from this particular reflection,

Friends,

Let it be this.

What is your I Am?

Union with God is your I Am.

It's the thread of divine life woven into your very soul.

It's what Jesus prays for us in John 17,

Where he says that they may be one as you are in me and I am in you,

That the love with which you have loved me may be in them and I in them.

Union with God is the beginning.

Union with God is the end.

And the cross,

Far from being a transaction,

The cross is the demonstration that nothing,

Not even death,

Can separate us from the love of God.

So how shall we live?

I want to return just for a moment to the cross and those words that Jesus cried from it.

Eli,

Eli,

Lama sabachthani,

My God,

My God,

Why have you forsaken me?

And I don't know about you,

But I've often been confused by this.

How can God,

Who is ever present and ever knowing,

Suddenly be separated from anyone,

Let alone from Christ?

And what you need to understand is in the Hebrew tradition,

They don't name the books of scripture as we do.

Genesis is not known as Genesis,

But as Bereshit,

Which is the first word in the book of Genesis.

It's the same with the other books of scripture.

And so,

Too,

The Psalms are known by their very first line,

Very similar to how you may be in church and someone announces a hymn by saying,

We are about to sing and then says the first line of the hymn.

Likewise,

The Psalms are known by the first line of the Psalm.

So when Jesus cries,

My God,

My God,

Why have you forsaken me?

For the people who are watching him that day,

It was a clue.

Because far from being a random cry of despair,

It's the opening line of Psalm 22.

A psalm that begins in anguish,

But ends in trust.

A psalm that starts with pain and finishes in joy.

In that moment,

Jesus takes up our experience of abandonment,

The feeling that God is far,

That we're alone.

And yet,

Even from that place,

He prays.

He stays.

He continues to entrust himself to God.

Because Jesus knows,

As do those who heard,

Precisely how the psalm ends.

God is present despite the pain.

God brings hope into the darkness.

And just as this hymn turns from despair to victory and joy,

So too,

So too in our lives.

Jesus enters the depths of human suffering that we could know.

Even there,

God is with us.

Even in our forsakenness,

We are not forsaken.

So again,

The question,

My friend,

If union with God is your I am,

How shall we live?

Well,

We live in the light of resurrection.

We live as those who have been grafted into the true vine.

We live as those who follow the way of love,

Speak the truth in grace,

And bear the life of Christ in our daily actions.

We live as branches,

Abiding in the vine,

Not striving,

Not performing,

But receiving and reflecting the love that flows through us.

The love that flows from Christ.

We live,

Knowing that we are fed by the bread of life,

Guided by the light of the world,

Led by the Good Shepherd,

Welcomed by the gate,

Revived by the resurrection and the life,

Formed in the way,

The truth and the life,

And rooted in the true vine.

And we live knowing that the eternal I am has already made their home in us.

So take a moment now,

Breathe in that truth.

Let it settle deep into your soul.

Union with God is your I am.

You're not trying to earn God's love.

You are already loved,

Already known,

And already held.

Christ has always been united with you and nothing,

Nothing can undo that union.

All that remains is for us to remain awakened to it and say yes and amen.

As we end this series,

Then,

My friend,

Allow me to pray with you.

Let us pray.

Risen Christ,

Eternal I am.

You were with God in the beginning.

You through whom all things were made.

You in whom all things hold together.

We come before you now in awe and gratitude.

You have called us in the voice of the shepherd,

Fed us with the bread of life,

Lit our path with the light of the world.

You have laid down your life as the gate,

Stood with us in sorrow and triumph as the resurrection and the life,

And walked beside us as the way,

The truth,

And the life.

You have rooted us in yourself as the true vine,

A living connection that sustains us beyond fear,

Beyond death,

Beyond our failures.

And now in the light of Easter,

We see more clearly.

You're not only a path to God,

You are God with us.

You have united yourself to our humanity,

Not in theory,

But in flesh and blood.

In sorrow and in joy.

In cross and resurrection.

Thank you.

Thank you for bearing the weight of our sin,

Not with judgment and not with punishment,

But with presence.

For holding us even in our betrayal.

For loving us in our blindness.

For remaining with us in our forsakenness.

For declaring from the cross,

Not condemnation,

But the depth of a love that will not let us go.

Thank you for the empty tomb,

The whisper of your name in the garden,

The peace you breathe into our locked rooms,

And the fire you kindle on our hearts on the road.

Teach us to live resurrection lives,

Not only to believe you,

But to abide in you.

To become bread for a hungry world.

Light in places of shadow.

Shepherds to the lost.

Gates of welcome to the stranger.

And branches of love in the vine of your life.

Let our lives be a living yes to the union you have already given.

Let our hearts rest in the truth that nothing,

Nothing can separate us from you.

Not sin,

Not sorrow,

Not death.

And now,

Eternal Christ,

You who are the I am,

Breathe in us again.

Resurrect our weary hearts.

Root us in love.

Let us live not as those who strive to reach you,

But as those who carry you within.

For yours is the life that cannot be taken.

The love that cannot be lost.

And the kingdom that has no end.

Amen.

Take one last deep breath in,

My friend.

And out.

There's so much truth,

So much depth in what we've walked through over the last 46 days.

And I pray that as you go from here,

Carrying this resurrection life,

This I am,

That you are in union with into every single day,

That grace,

Peace,

Joy,

Hope,

And love will go with you today and every day.

Amen.

Peace be with you,

My friend.

Thank you for journeying with me over the season of Lent.

Until next time,

Peace be with you.

Reviews

This was an inspirational session!

Love the alternate loving view of the point of the death and resurrection.

Thank you, Mark. I’ve found your reflections to be so full of theological depth and grace. May the grace and peace you understand continue rippling out across this world. Keep on being you and doing this good work, brother!

Profound. Life changing. Thank you so much for this beautiful, deep series. It has changed and healed me. God bless you.

This series was and is such a blessing in my life. I’m grateful to have our live session posted. I continue to relisten and reflect on your beautiful teachings. I’m in a difficult life season, and this focus on God’s in dwelling union with us all, gives me comfort and hope. Many thanks and many blessings. 💜🕊️🌈

I have great comfort in the knowledge that Christ accepts me, dwell in me, and will never abandon me. Thank you for this series-it has and will continue to change me.

This was the perfect end to a phenomenal series! You became my nightly wind down over these past 40 days.

Some days I fell asleep before the end, but that's okay. I'm sure I was still absorbing your words.

❤️ Thank you for your lent messages. I was struggling a bit and they were helpful. I am studying the book of John right now. I find comfort in John 15:1-12 I am the true vine.
Come to me and abide 🕯✨️

Thank you for this conclusion to the Lenten journey🙏🏻