One of our greatest challenges in our practice is what Lee Brazenton calls relaxed diligence.
And that seems like an oxymoron.
How can we be diligent and remain relaxed?
I don't joke when I tell you that it literally took me 10 years of meditation practice to finally hear the word relax.
The diligence was there,
But it wasn't at all relaxed.
It was a mind of striving to perfect my meditation technique,
Which at first sounds quite noble,
But it was full of dissatisfaction.
And this really hampered any progress.
We can't force meditation.
We have to allow it to happen.
We can create the conditions of stillness and attention,
But we don't get to say how or when mindfulness will choose to show itself or herself as Bhikkhu Analyao so beautifully speaks of mindfulness.
He urges us to see mindfulness as a feminine quality and tells us that the Pali word for mindfulness,
Sati,
Is a feminine word.
As well as the gentle approach to receiving mindfulness,
The yin rather than the yang,
He speaks of another feminine quality,
And that is that it has the potential to give birth to new possibilities.
I'll quote now from his book,
Satipatthana Meditation.
Right away,
The moment of waking up in the morning,
Our good friend Sati can already be there,
As if waiting for us.
She is ready to accompany us throughout the rest of the day,
Encouraging us to stay receptive and open,
Soft and understanding.
She never gets upset when we forget about her.
As soon as we remember her,
She is right there to be with us again.
Visualising the practice in terms of coming back to the presence of a good friend helps to avoid mistaking Sati for a forceful type of hyper-attentiveness that requires strained effort in order to be maintained.
Instead,
Being in her presence carries the flavours of an open receptivity and a soft alertness to whatever is taking place.
End of quote.
That is the most beautiful description of mindfulness I have ever read.
For me,
It brings it from a struggle out in the cold to sit by a warm fire and simply feel the light of her presence running through our unfolding experience.
Just sitting and enjoying being alive,
Birthing brand new ways to be in this world.
So,
Let's sit for around 10 minutes together now and we'll do as he says.
We'll wait patiently for her to show up and when she does,
We will honour her presence in yielding to her.
Come into your seated posture and just sit upright in a way that invites mindfulness to be present and allow the eyes to gently close.
Now just relax,
But stay aware,
Open and bright minded and just waiting for the breath to show up.
Waiting patiently in stillness,
Feeling the breath wherever it decides to show itself.
No forcing.
This is a different kind of effort to the effort we usually make in the world.
Can we be diligent and relaxed at the same time?
Not clinging to mindfulness for dear life.
Rather,
Just being ready for her when she shows up and when she does,
When she graces us with her presence,
We are devoted to it.
We don't run away into mundane thinking.
Mindfulness here and now is much more precious than the things of the world.
We will be carried away by thinking though.
That's fine,
Because mindfulness will show up again and when she does,
Greet her with reverence.
Because in doing so,
She will beautify your life.
We don't have to use the breath as an anchor into mindfulness.
We can just sit with whatever arises.
Just being aware,
Feeling different phenomena,
Sensations,
Feelings arise and pass away.
This takes time though,
To be able to sit in the storm of experience and not to be swept away.
But it will come,
And when it does,
You will see the birth of new possibilities in your world.
What once carried you away,
Into reaction,
You now have a new power over.
Allowing you to be the way you choose to be.
Great peace comes when mindfulness visits you unprompted,
Saving you from behaviour and words that you might later regret.
So bring in the meditation to a close now.
Allowing the eyes to open,
Moving and looking out for mindfulness throughout the day.
Feeling her presence whenever you get the chance.
And the more you do it,
The more she will show up.
