Exploring The R.A.I.N. Practice Part 3

Part 3 of 3: this is a recording of a live meditation provided in 2020. I am hosting daily live meditations and I am recording these for listeners to catch up. This R.A.I.N. (part 1) practice is an exploration of the technique developed by Michelle McDonald and Tara Brach. Please practice part 1 and part 2 to get the full experience. The practice is 30 minutes long.

Transcript

Welcome everyone to our drop in meditation session.

If you haven't been here before,

So it's really great to know that you're tuning in today,

Or maybe you haven't been here for a while,

It's even better that you're reconnecting.

Or if you're managing to drop in frequently and regularly,

That is really good to know and a really great sign that you're looking after yourself in this particular way and also knowing that you're part of this like-minded community is such a beautiful thing and very reassuring that we're actually doing the right thing here.

Our drop in meditations are an invitation to pause and stop and to move away from doing and shifting into being and exploring a little bit.

What's that like if we let go of the busyness,

The hurriedness,

The searching and just dropping into each and every moment and seeing maybe a little bit more clearer what is actually happening in this particular moment,

What is the experience and how is it unfolding,

Maybe noticing our reactive habits and also getting the opportunity to stepping out of our reactions and learning to become a little bit more responsive to creating a little bit more space and psychological flexibility.

And by doing this also perhaps experience that the more space there is,

The better it is for making any decisions if there are any decisions to be made.

Because if we are inflamed and we are emotionally reactive and really caught up in our situations or situations that cause us to stress,

Then we can't really think clearly and it's constantly reinforced a pattern of reactivity.

So this week we have started exploring and practicing the RAIN technique and I've dedicated this week that we will do this every day and as an add-on if you like you can also join my mindfulness and compassion online closed Facebook group.

I posted yesterday another video just as another way of introducing this technique to you and for some variety so you can listen to that.

And of course I'm not the person who has invented this or developed this technique.

It was developed by Michelle McDonald and there are lots of modifications around one in particular or a few done by Tara Brach who has recently released a book that is called Radical Compassion and that book is all about the RAIN practice so I can only encourage you maybe to take a look at it.

And I really,

The reason why I brought it in here is just this one line that she is sharing at the very beginning of the book because she is sharing some personal experience Tara Brach and that she has gone through a difficult time and realizing that it is possible to love oneself to healing or into healing is quite powerful.

Love myself into healing and this technique actually I strongly believe can do that.

And in general the attitude,

The practice,

This way of living in a very compassionate way of course adds to it and cultivates this way of being.

And interestingly we are all human beings and for me this week was actually really a tough week so there it was,

The opportunity to explore this RAIN technique myself in response to something that is causing me a little bit of a difficult emotion and just embracing it that way and just reconnecting and feeling it's possible.

It's possible to be with these difficult emotions in this particular way if we are open to it.

So safety is very important at the beginning of the practice.

I wouldn't recommend to rush into it.

I always encourage people to set an intention at the very beginning,

Even dropping in and perhaps checking in what they need in this very moment and even when we do the practice here I always want you to tune in and slow down and to notice what is it that you need.

And if you feel safe and ready then you can of course explore and practice or follow the instructions this week for the RAIN technique.

So how about we all drop in and I will just bring the screen back so you have something inviting up there.

The invitation to simply let it rain is quite radical even though there is sunshine but as we know there is also rain and often we struggle with what do we do if it's raining and we are staying inside because if it's rainy we can't go out,

We get wet and soaked and then we maybe get a cold or get a flu and so on.

So we better stay inside and avoid all of it.

But that keeps you stuck and it keeps you trapped and actually it's not really adding to any life quality.

So how about just as a metaphor,

Take the umbrella and go out into the rain or just put on the relevant or right clothes and just walk into the rain and see what happens.

And you won't get soaked because you are protected but you can still participate.

So yes,

Very good,

I think people are arriving and thank you for letting me know who is here,

It's wonderful and perhaps let's do a short practice today and tomorrow we will space it out a little bit and Friday we will conclude this week but for now come into a posture that feels comfortable and supports you in your uprightness and dignity.

And as you're shifting into this particular way of being noticing,

As you're slowing down and paying attention to the posture,

The body,

Just noticing how the body feels,

What the body needs.

If the body is sleepy and tired and heavy,

You may need a nap or you may just need to go to bed or you just simply fine tune your posture,

Really stretching parts of the body,

Bringing in some energy maybe,

Maybe even keeping the eyes open during the practice but not looking around because that would be too much of a distraction but maybe finding a spot in front of you that you can keep a soft gaze at or if it feels a while,

Closing the eyes and helping you,

Supporting you to descend awareness inside and perhaps getting a sense of support from the knees,

The floor,

The chair and fully embodying the actuality of sitting.

Maybe setting an intention that you want to bring toward the practice,

Just the intention to respond with kindness and compassion if something difficult is bubbling up,

With patience and trust,

With non-judgment and equanimity and keeping in mind you have choice also in this practice any time you wish to discontinue or take a break or anchor yourself in whatever helps your grounding,

You're very welcome and even encouraged to do so and then to maybe conclude or reconnect.

Noticing how's the mind,

Pleasant,

Unpleasant,

Natural,

Anything bubbling up as you're slowing down and then shifting the focus to the breath and just following the air in and out of the body and that's a good thing.

Nothing else to be done and not even an effort to be made because no control is required,

No manipulation is required,

No change is required,

Just letting the air flow through the nostrils into the body in its own rhythm in and out.

Maybe feeding the sensations of the breath in the body,

Maybe in the chest or even further down in the diaphragm or belly region,

Noticing the sensations of movement arising on the medium breath,

Falling on the upper.

So you can continue just simply practicing the awareness of the breath,

The mindfulness of the breath in your own pace,

In your own rhythm or if you like just luckily opening up and checking in with this moment,

What this moment is made of.

Is there a particular thought or an emotion or a sensation or an impulse,

Advising,

So giving it some space and just dropping in and recognize first step,

What is here right now.

Maybe there is a very particular intrusive thought,

Maybe there is a difficult emotion,

Maybe there is a strong sensation,

Just recognize the imprint of this moment.

If you like you can even deliberately call up something that you are struggling with,

A particular thought or a particular emotion,

This technique is actually really designed for responding to difficult emotions but I think it can be also expanded and applied in a more broader context.

So I leave this to you,

Whether you want to choose something that is causing you distress but don't choose the 100% distress,

Maybe choose something more on the moderate,

Mild to moderate level.

And would it be possible as you noticing and becoming aware of and recognizing what is arising in this very moment.

Maybe noticing your natural reaction to it or habitual reaction or an impulse.

And rather than getting engaged in reactivity,

Would it be possible to simply allow second step of the brain model,

Allow the experience to be as it is,

This thought as it is,

This emotion as it is,

This sensation,

Rather than changing it,

Pushing it,

Resisting it,

Fighting it,

Avoiding it.

Allowing it to be here,

It does not mean that you are agreeing with what is coming up.

It's not about that.

By allowing yourself to feel it,

Remember,

I love myself into healing,

Contributing to this particular way of being with and responding to something that might feel challenging or difficult.

And really with this attitude,

Allowing this kindness,

Non-judgment,

Because that's often one of the automatic reaction that we judge our experiences,

That we make conclusions,

That we make references to self,

And then it is intensifying and becomes even more distressing.

So how about allowing the soul,

The emotion,

Sensation,

Or whatever is arising to just simply be as it is,

To be felt,

Noticed,

Acknowledged?

When you're noticing you're judging it or starting to get involved in plotting another narrative,

Then maybe let this compassionate voice be heard,

Say,

Oh,

This is what I'm doing.

All right,

Maybe I just let it be as it is,

Knowing it's here.

And investigating,

Getting curious,

What is actually seeking my attention right now?

Why is this bubbling up?

It's not about analyzing it in a conceptual way,

But it is giving it some space and let it be heard and let it be acknowledged.

So what matters?

Or what is needed right now?

And what would it be like if you allow yourself to be nurtured?

That's a final step,

To be nurtured.

To offer yourself,

If this is a moment of suffering,

To simply acknowledge,

Wow,

This is a moment of suffering.

And remembering that there's common humanity,

So everyone is suffering to a certain degree or intensity.

So I'm not alone in this.

That can be really nurturing,

This acknowledging that,

Wishing yourself to be kind to yourself.

Maybe you're noticing you actually would like to hear a few words whispered into your ear,

Maybe a,

Your own compassionate voice,

But maybe a voice of someone who cares for you.

So hearing that voice,

Hearing those words that you need to hear.

It's okay not to be okay.

May you know your own goodness.

May you know your own value.

May you know these two will pass.

So if that's something you want to be whispered into your ears.

Offering yourself a supportive touch,

Just a suggestion of support,

If that's something that is nurturing,

Why not?

And just noticing,

Nurturing yourself is an act of love,

And love is a way into healing.

And then releasing.

And shifting the focus onto the breath.

And just feeling the air coming in and out of your body,

Maybe using this as another way to ground yourself,

To sustain the nurturing.

Taking note of what that feels like,

Maybe even noticing is there anything different compared to how you would normally deal with something that could be a little bit challenging.

And then starting to move,

To maybe open the eyes,

Taking in the visual field,

Looking around,

Maybe looking up.

Maybe starting to raise your arms above your head,

So fingertips reaching toward the ceiling,

And then bringing the arms back again.

Just stretching the neck a little bit,

Shaking off your hands,

Shaking off your legs.

Whatever the body wants you to do,

Just allow it to happen.

So this was another RAIN practice,

R standing for Recognizing,

A for Acknowledging what is here,

Allowing it to be here and even radically to accept it to be here right now,

Whether that's a thought,

An emotion,

A sensation,

Or whatever else is bubbling up in a very unconditional way,

In a very non-judgmental way,

And bringing some curiosity towards.

So here it is.

If you're leaning in and looking a little bit closer,

Just investigating how do you know it's here,

And perhaps dropping into the body and feeling those sensations that are co-emerging,

That's for sure,

With thoughts and feelings,

And perhaps just exploring those sensations in a very particular way.

And again,

Also offering yourself this question,

Okay,

So what is this about?

What does it want from me?

What do I need right now?

And allowing yourself to,

In this very vulnerable moment,

To nurture yourself,

So to bring in and weave in a little bit more self-compassion,

And that looks or appears or can be done in many different ways.

You can offer yourself a supportive touch.

You can work with a compassionate color.

You can work with a soothing breath.

You can do loving kindness.

You can work with a compassionate inner voice,

With a soft voice that you can hear.

You can imagine someone is whispering into your ears something encouraging and ensuring and nurturing.

So there are many things that we can do,

And it's really good to embed it into,

Before you start this practice,

To really notice,

Ground yourself,

Set an intention for the practice,

And really check in,

Can you even,

If something is a little bit challenging at the moment,

Can you be with that?

Does it feel safe enough?

Or do you need something else before?

Maybe you need to move.

Maybe you need to stretch your body.

Maybe you need an epifluor.

You do the practice,

And then at the end of the practice,

Once you've done it,

I'm also checking in,

What does it feel like?

Because it's good for the brain to know,

Aha,

So I've done this.

Very different way of attending to myself,

Responding to myself,

And offering and practicing compassion because that's normally not the way how we do it.

We get tapped into our emotional activity,

And it's quite habitual and automatic.

So with this technique,

We step out of automaticity,

And yes,

This requires courage,

In particular,

If you haven't done this before.

So maybe have someone who is guiding you in this practice,

You can talk to and explore together.

I think that is also something very skillful and important to consider.

So tomorrow I will space it out a little bit.

I will just prompt the steps and then give you more space in there.

And then on Friday we will conclude this week.

And I hope you're doing well.

And I trust that you're taking care of yourself in this practice.

And remember,

There's always choice.

And if it's not the main practice for you this week,

Then maybe it's just the soothing breath or whatever else helps you grounding for a moment and stepping out of this doing mode and coming into being.

Lovely to see you.

And I'm so happy to know that you're here and that you will be here maybe tomorrow again or at another time.

Keep in touch and goodbye for now.

Goodbye.