Hello,
You're here because something has touched you,
Or maybe stirred you,
A disagreement,
Tension,
Maybe even words you wish you hadn't said,
Or ones you wish you'd heard differently.
Right now,
Emotions might still be close to the surface,
Maybe anger,
Frustration,
Sadness,
Or maybe just a sense of being off-center.
This practice is here to help you pause,
To soften the edges,
To step out of the emotional heat,
To breathe,
To see things more clearly from all sides.
This is not to fix anything,
It's not to force anything,
But to soften,
To reflect,
To reconnect with yourself,
And maybe when the time is right,
With the other person too.
If you wish to treat this as a space to journal rather,
Feel free to pause the audio in between and answer questions asked in writing.
So let's begin.
Begin by replaying the moment,
Just the surface first.
What was said?
What was done?
How did it start?
What part of the conversation still echoes in your chest?
Let your body show you how it felt,
And notice where tension sits.
Maybe in the jaw,
The shoulders,
The throat,
The belly.
Where's the emotional charge living?
Just notice,
Let the breath move through,
And now begin to sense the emotion.
What rose up in you?
What emotion colors the air inside you?
Is it anger,
Hurt,
Disappointment maybe?
Try naming it,
And then say,
This is what it felt like,
Or this is what I felt,
Not because it's right or wrong,
But because it's real.
Then gently ask,
What is this feeling protecting?
What would happen if I let it speak?
If it had an image,
A shape,
A texture,
What would it be?
Breathe into it,
Give it room rather than judgment.
Now take a step back in your mind's eye.
See the entire situation like a play on the stage,
You,
The other,
The moment,
The energy between you,
The backdrop,
The cues,
The history.
And from here,
Try to let the storyline drop.
What did you truly want in that moment?
How did your reactions align with your needs?
Were you listening,
Or were you waiting to defend?
Were you trying to be right,
Or to be heard?
Were you trying to win,
Or were you trying to connect?
What were you trying to protect,
Or prove,
Or hold on to?
Was there maybe a part of you that felt unseen,
Unheard,
Disrespected?
Was there maybe a moment where you could have paused instead of reacted?
Was there a tone,
A word,
A withdrawal that shifted the energy?
Let that sit,
Let the answers surprise you.
And now gently step into the other person's shoes,
Not to accuse,
But to witness.
Try not to guess what they thought,
But instead,
Try to feel what they might have felt.
And then ask yourself,
What might they have been trying to express?
Were they hurt,
Tired,
Frustrated,
Afraid,
Misunderstood?
What did they need in that moment,
Even if they couldn't say it clearly?
And what need wasn't met?
This isn't about excusing anything,
It's about seeing the full human in front of you.
Now pause here to meet your triggers,
The invisible strings that may have pulled you tighter than the moment itself,
A pattern,
A past wound,
A well-rehearsed belief.
And then ask yourself,
Was I reacting to this situation,
Or to something older?
Is there a wound,
This touched,
A pattern I fall into in conflict?
What part of me was touched too deeply,
Too quickly?
And did I take something personally that may have not been meant that way?
Feel the triggers,
Name them if you can,
And then gently imagine how you would have responded if you weren't reacting from that place.
What would you have said?
What would you have felt safe enough to hear?
Now do the same for the other person.
Imagine their trigger,
The hidden part that might have flared up,
The part that they may have felt too vulnerable to show.
Breathe.
And now imagine the exact same situation,
But without the trigger.
You in your full presence,
Them in theirs.
How would you have responded if you weren't reacting from a place?
What tone would you have used?
What would you have felt safe enough to say?
Let this version of you,
This version of them,
Linger for a moment and hold it as a quiet possibility.
Now step further back.
See both of you from above,
Like two dots in a wide landscape.
Zoom out,
Soften.
You're both human.
You're both carrying stories.
Now ask yourself some deeper questions.
What did I contribute to this situation,
Even if unintentionally?
What am I ready to earn without needing the other to do so first?
Also ask yourself what they contributed.
What could they take responsibility for?
What do you wish they understood about how you feel?
Let your answers be honest,
Not to judge,
But to see.
Now this is about finding what you can offer.
So ask yourself what that moment was asking from both of you that you haven't given yet and that you can still offer.
What's that small thing you can do or offer to support resolution that would soften the space between you?
This is without thinking whether your offer would be accepted or not and without needing to fix,
Just to invite connection.
Now what would you want to hear if the roles were reversed?
And if you could meet this moment with clarity,
Again,
What would you say?
If it helps,
Speak it out aloud when you're ready or write it down later.
Now let's take a moment of forgiveness,
Not as an obligation,
But as an opening.
This is not about forgetting.
It's not about excusing.
It's about softening the sharpness,
Even if just a little.
So ask,
Am I willing to forgive the version of them that I couldn't see then?
Am I willing to forgive the version of me that did the same?
Let both be true.
Now breathe in deeply.
And exhale.
And begin to invite your emotions back in,
But this time observe them from above.
Watch anger,
Sadness,
Frustration,
Defensiveness,
Guilt,
Any emotions that may have changed.
And let each one come forward.
Stay with them long enough to hear their wisdom.
What would peace look like here?
What would forgiveness feel like for them and for you?
What would it feel like to let go of the need to be right and instead reach for resolution?
You've done something brave.
You've made space.
You've stepped out of reaction and into responsibility.
Let that settle in your body.
Now you choose how to move forward.
Not from pride,
Not from reactivity,
But from clarity.
You've taken time not just to react,
But to reflect.
And that already shifts everything.
You can act.
You can wait.
You can say nothing yet.
But if it feels right to you,
You can send this practice to the person you had a conflict with.
Invite them to listen.
Invite them to reflect.
To then say,
Here's what I've come to understand.
Here's what matters to me now.
And maybe even share your offer.
Maybe even share your forgiveness.
And to close this practice,
You can repeat gently after me.
I choose response over reaction.
I choose awareness over reactivity.
I choose understanding over defense.
And if you feel it,
Gently open your eyes.
Thank you for practicing with me.
And may this have helped you to resolve any conflicts that laid heavy on you.
And to re-invite love.
