Attending To What Is Mine

This meditation is an inquiry into what is mine to live in the world. Enquiring into different aspects of our lives, though we ask. What is mine to know? What is it I am supposed to see, to share, to love? Through a simple prayer or a mantra - we open ourselves up to our inner wisdom. And we end with the resolution - Whatever it is, I am here.

Transcript

Welcome everybody to our first community meditation practice class of 2022.

My name is Michael McDowell,

You probably know,

Most of you know that,

And Matt is assisting us tonight and Matt is one of the other founders of Instinctive Meditation Australia.

We offer these sessions every couple of weeks where we introduce some concepts of instinctive meditation but also offer a meditation practice for you.

The practice that I want to share with you tonight is one that came out of my own experience during the Christmas new year period where I was practicing,

With my normal practice,

I was attending to sort of my body,

The energy centers that we have,

You might call them the chakras and the characteristics that they evoke,

The characteristics that they encompass and that over time some sort of a map has been created that different areas of our body have affinities for different types of instincts,

Different types of desires and the like.

And I don't necessarily say that a map of the chakras is something that we should try to impress upon ourselves but it may be a description of someone else's experience and we may have similar experiences when we just be with ourselves.

So through over a couple of days in my practice I was sort of making inquiries into my life I suppose and it ended up turning into a sort of a prayer.

So to start off with what I'll do is I'll share this prayer with you and then after I've done that I'll talk about a couple of principles of instinctive meditation and how we might then play with this prayer or even just parts of it from an instinctive meditation perspective.

So first of all I'll share it with you.

Now I'll invite you just to get comfortable to start with however that is,

However that is for you and that might be sitting,

Lying down,

Comfortable in a nest.

It may be still,

It may be moving.

I find that this actually came out of movement,

This prayer came out of the movement that I was experiencing in my body and the energy that was moving in me and my connection to these different characteristics I suppose of life.

So I'll share it with you and then we'll have a bit of a discussion.

Then we'll dive deeper and give you time to engage with each of the lines,

Each of the inquiries I suppose.

So if you're nice and comfortable there's no need to close your eyes you can just be with yourself however that is.

This is called whatever it is.

Whatever it is I'm supposed to see.

Let me see.

Whatever it is I'm supposed to know.

Whatever it is I am supposed to know.

Let me know.

Whatever it is I am supposed to share.

Let me share.

Whatever it is I'm supposed to do.

Let me do.

Whatever it is I'm supposed to feel.

Let me feel.

Whatever it is I'm supposed to love.

Let me love.

Whatever it is I'm supposed to be.

Let me be.

Whatever it is.

Whatever it is I am here.

So I'm going to offer this to you in a much more luxurious sort of way in a moment that you get to soak in or inquire into each of these for a couple of minutes or so.

But first of all you want to bring to your awareness your attention.

One of the core,

I suppose,

Essential elements of an instinctive meditation practice and that is that we trust in the intelligence of the life force that is within us.

Such that when we make an inquiry,

When we honestly ask in ourselves whatever it is I'm supposed to see,

Let me see.

That the response comes from our own inner resources,

From our own Soul,

From our own spirit.

And that we trust that our life force provides us with an appropriate feeling,

Sensation,

Response,

Maybe movement.

So first thing we want to do is we want to trust that whatever arises out of our inquiries for us,

That it's right for us.

Secondly is that we actually get to choose what our style of attention is or sort of what lens we use to attend to our experience.

And what do I mean by that?

So we could think,

Okay well as human beings we have desires,

We have instincts.

And when we ask ourselves these questions are they relating to certain desires perhaps?

Now in our yoga tradition through the Radiant Sutras,

Through Dr.

Lauren Roche,

We've been taught that there's a name,

A Sanskrit name for what encompasses the desires that human beings basically have,

And there are four of them.

Those four desires are karma.

That's the desire for sort of sensual pleasure to experience and enjoy life in this body,

To enjoy touch,

Taste,

Enjoy what we see,

Enjoy the use of this body whether it's intimately with other people or whether it's experiencing something like surfing or running.

But we enjoy the sensual pleasure of living in the body.

And maybe some of these inquiries open you up to this idea of karma,

The desire of sensual pleasure.

Another of these inquiries might open you up to the idea of ata,

Which is our desire for a life that has enough material wealth in it that we can live,

That we can enjoy life,

We can enjoy those sensual pleasures,

And we can buy good food,

We can have a roof over our head,

We can have clothes that cover us.

So a couple of these inquiries may refer to that desire of ata.

And perhaps a couple of them may refer to the desire that is called dharma,

And that is our desire to live our life in tune with our essence.

And when we live life in tune with our essence,

It is in service of other people.

And maybe a couple of these inquiries may talk to this desire of living a truthful,

Correct life for what our life essence is.

Another lens that you might use to attend to these questions,

These inquiries,

Is the movement of energy in you,

The sensations that they bring up.

You may simply feel into when I speak these words,

Does it tingle in my body anywhere?

Do I feel anything in my body anywhere?

Does it move a subtle energy in any way within me?

And it may relate to what you see as a map of the chakras or not.

You can just be with the sensations in your body.

Or you might feel that when we talk to these questions,

These statements,

That your body wants to move in a certain way.

You may feel that you want to reach out or touch a certain part of your body,

If that's what you feel to do,

That the inquiry sits somewhere and there's movement associated,

Or the feeling of touch required.

So again,

You get to choose the style of attention that you give to each of these inquiries.

It may be that you decide that I'm just going to have a restful evening,

And you're just going to give over to the sounds of the words that I speak,

Let them float over you,

And have no real intention with it,

But just allow the energy,

The vibration of those words to mingle with you,

To sort of come into every cell.

And you can just rest and do nothing with it and just be.

And the last lens that I want to maybe bring to your attention is one of sovereignty,

To look at all these really from the perspective of what is mine?

What is mine in this inquiry?

And what is not mine?

When I think of these questions,

Does an awareness come up to that's not mine,

This is mine?

So we're talking about our sovereignty,

Setting our own boundaries when we enquire into these questions again.

Now,

As we go through them,

And I'm going to leave you for a couple of minutes with each of these inquiries,

If you find that you're sinking to one,

And this happens with me when I practice with this,

That I might move through one or two,

And I find that on the second or the third one,

There's no,

I'm not called to go any further,

But I'm engaged with whatever it is I'm supposed to love,

Let me love,

And I just soak in the experience of letting me love what I love,

Or letting me feel what I feel.

So if you feel like,

I'm happy to stay with this now,

Then you're totally free to ignore me asking that next,

And offering that next inquiry.

So stay with what is living in you.

It's like a mantra,

It has rung in you,

It's touched you,

And then it's reverberating in your cells,

In your body,

And you don't need anything else to attend to,

You can just be with what you're being with.

So we'll settle,

And we'll slowly work through these,

And just offer these inquiries into ourselves,

Into that inner wisdom.

Let's just ask,

And really state,

Whatever it is,

Whatever it is I'm supposed to see,

Let me see,

And you can think at different levels of what that means,

What that means for you.

What am I supposed to perceive?

What is mind to see in the world?

What can I attend to with this brilliant sense of sight,

That allows me to perceive the world in such a way,

That allows me to perceive beauty?

Maybe what you see in the external world,

But maybe what you also perceive in your inner world,

Whatever it is I'm supposed to see,

Let me see.

So and if you're engrossed and engaged in this inquiry of sight,

The internal or external,

You can stay with that,

Or if you wish you can then inquire,

What is it that I'm supposed to know?

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to know,

Whatever it is that is mine to know,

Let me know,

Let me understand,

Whether it be understanding myself as a human,

Just as myself,

Understanding how I relate with others,

Or understanding my place in the Universe in the vast expanse of creation.

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to know,

Let me know,

Let me know.

Let me trust the intelligence of my own life force,

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to know,

Let me know.

So remembering that whatever arises for you is coming from your own internal wisdom,

And whatever arises we are completely tender with ourselves,

Accepting of all that we are,

Accepting of all of our thoughts,

Of all the emotions running through us,

All of the sensations.

Let's take a moment to think of these desires of Ata and Dharma,

The work that we do to give ourselves a life of prosperity,

The work that we do that is in line and tuned with our essence,

And inquire through this lens perhaps of desire.

What is it that I'm supposed to share?

Whatever it is that is mine to share,

Let me share,

And through the lens of sovereignty,

Whatever is mine to share,

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to share,

Let me share.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Maybe we can then move on to the inquiry of what is it that is mine to do?

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to do that my soul,

My spirit is called to do,

Let me do.

When you inquire,

What is it that I'm supposed to do?

Is there a sensation in your body that is speaking to you?

Are you called to move?

Are you called to feel the movement of energy through your more subtle sensations?

And whatever it is I'm supposed to do,

Let me do.

Thank you.

So.

.

.

And always being aware that when we're practicing,

That we,

Our attention moves through a rhythm of resting in the inquiry,

Of letting it talk to us,

And our subconscious,

Our spirit will bring thoughts up for us to attend to.

You may find that we're replaying past experiences or practicing attending to something differently.

This is natural.

We're simply tender in accepting everything that arises,

This rhythm of the life that flows through us.

And as we inquire into whatever it is that I'm supposed to feel,

Whatever it is that is mine to feel,

We hold ourselves in fierce tenderness as we say to ourselves,

Let me feel.

Whatever it is that is mine to feel,

Let me feel.

No need to do anything with the sensations that we experience.

Perhaps we simply take an attitude of curiosity,

Of wonder,

That the life force through,

Flowing through us is bringing these sensations to our awareness.

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to feel,

Let me feel.

So we can remind ourselves of our sovereignty.

As we feel and sensations we may be called to recognize our boundaries with movement,

Feel into where our energy,

Where our space is.

Or when you're called to feel,

Maybe there's movement in that feeling.

It has a certain texture,

A certain tenor.

It may have flow,

It may be staccato.

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to feel,

Let me feel.

Whatever it is that is mine to love,

Whatever it is I'm supposed to love,

Let me love.

Allow my essence that is love to be expressed.

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to love,

Let me love.

Are the sensations that stir in you,

Is their movement that is called.

What realms are you called to love in?

Internally,

Human relationships,

Relationships with nature,

With pets,

Or a love of the mystery of life,

The mystery of the universe,

The love of the life force that is pulsing in everybody,

In everything,

That is part of you and part of everybody else.

What is it that is mine to love?

Let me love.

So you whatever it is that I'm supposed to be let me be.

Whatever it is that I'm supposed to be,

Let me be.

Let me express my own essence.

Let me walk my own path,

Let me be on my own side.

Let me know what I need to know,

Let me share,

Let me feel,

Let me do,

Let me love.

And whatever it is that I'm meant to be,

Let me be.

So so so and whichever of these inquiries resonate with you ringing still in you you are here I am here and whatever it is I am here whatever it is I am here I am here yatra tatra yatra tatra whatever it is I am here so let's rest in that for a couple more minutes with no intention with no agenda whatever it is I am here so so and if you're someone who likes to journal,

Who likes to write,

While you're still engaged with this inquiry,

You might like to just find your pen and paper and express whatever it is that you feel too.

Otherwise we can take another minute or so just to be with ourselves,

Soaking in the experience so so you might want to inquire how do I know that I'm here and alive at the moment?

What tells me that the life force is still running through me?

What am I experiencing that tells me I'm alive?

Which of your senses are you most aware of at the moment?

Or what process are you most aware of going on in you that tells you that you are here now that I am here?

How can you attune into your body?

If you maybe recognize the sensation of yourself on the floor or on your chair,

The shape of your body,

Do you instinctively know where the center of the earth is through your sense of balance and this exquisite ability to know?

The angle of every joint that tells you where you are in relation to the center of the earth.

Do you attune to your hearing?

Do you attune to this movement of breath through you?

Do you feel that there's something wanting to move in you,

Muscles and tendons?

They can tell you that yes I'm here,

I'm starting to come back into the community that we have here now.

Bringing back with me my own experience,

Feeling whether you wish to share any of that or not.

And quite often I find that the last of the senses to come back to bring myself back into the world is the sense of sight that we can attune to the light coming in through our eyelids and then eventually we can slowly gently open our eyes when we're ready.

So you want to feel that you're here now.

Now if you feel like you want to have a little bit more movement,

Maybe a little deeper breath.

So before we open up to any conversation or any questions we will stop the recording.

I want to thank you for joining us,

This group that we are,

For coming together and being willing to make these inquiries.

I will share this prayer,

This poem and remind you that you could use all of it if you wish at any time.

Well you may simply choose one and use one of these lines as a mantra,

Then you can amend it any way you like.

You might not like whatever it is I'm supposed to be,

You might say whatever it is that is mine to be.

Whatever it is that I am to love,

Let me love.