New Year's is just an invention.
It doesn't need to be anything special if that's what's best for you.
It can seem like everyone is happy,
Nostalgic,
And hopeful.
Yet,
As someone with past trauma,
You may find that that is not your experience.
And that's okay.
Or,
Perhaps you feel pretty good,
Or pleasantly neutral.
And that's also alright.
All emotions are valid.
And in this audio,
We're more so focused on those who may not be having such a great time.
New Year's doesn't need to mean new me.
I can stay the same without guilt or shame.
There are themes that often come up around this time of celebration.
One in particular is that of making resolutions.
I'm here to say that you don't need to participate in that if it's not a helpful thing.
There is nothing wrong with you if you feel negatively towards this concept.
It might be hard for you to look into the future beyond the hour or the day.
There are likely very valid reasons for this,
A lot of which may be connected to past coping methods.
Working on future dreaming might be helpful on your path,
But you don't have to do so alone or on an arbitrary date.
Talking with a therapist about this might be a great help.
Or you might try a support group.
I don't need to make resolutions,
And there are valid reasons why I don't.
The most popular resolutions tend to be around weight loss,
Diet,
And exercise.
You are likely to see a litany of social media posts from friends and family,
And an increase on advertising for these topics.
I'd like to offer the following thought to you.
Your body is a good body.
It has taken you this far in life,
Which should be celebrated.
You do not need to change it in any way unless that is something that you want and that serves you.
It's okay to take a break from social media over the New Year's.
It's totally fine to set boundaries during conversations,
Such as no diet talk.
It's a smart idea to hit mute when problematic commercials pop up on TV.
I will respect my needs around avoiding diet culture,
And I don't need to worry about what other people are doing.
Nostalgia over the past is another common thing that comes up over New Year's.
But what if your past wasn't so great?
What if you experienced trauma or other harms?
What if the idea of posting a photo from 10 or 20 years ago only fills you with dread?
Again,
I suggest that it's okay to forgo the nostalgia if it doesn't serve you.
This may come with a sense of loss,
Anger,
Or even grief.
These are all understandable emotions,
And there is no need to judge them.
More people than you know are feeling them right along with you.
This may be a time where you decide to create a changed narrative.
Perhaps you might choose to focus on making new memories in the present for the future you.
You might support your inner child with old needs that went unmet.
Or you might reflect back and consider the positive memories you do have.
Or,
If it's best,
Just ignore the whole thing as needed.
After three days,
The throwback posts will fade,
And you can keep living.
I don't have to enjoy nostalgia.
I can look at it from a different way,
Recreate it,
Or not at all.
As we all know,
Parties are also a part of New Year's,
And yet parties may not be for you.
It could be that you grew up in a household with excessive substance use,
The sensory input is too much,
You lead a sober lifestyle,
Or you experience trauma at a similar setting,
Or any other sort of reason.
I again offer to you that it's not a big deal if you decide to skip the party,
Or that you find a party that's right for you.
Staying at home or meeting up with a friend or two are perfectly healthy choices.
I don't have to go to a party if I don't want to.
I'm not a stick in the mud.
I'm doing what's best for my mental health.
Lastly,
Connections with others also tends to be a big theme,
Such as the importance of family,
Having a romantic partner,
Or close intimate friendships.
Perhaps you avoid family,
Or interact with strong boundaries.
That's fine.
Maybe you don't care for dating or romance.
No problem.
Maybe right now you don't feel like you have a lot of connection with others.
That's okay.
And if you want to work on that,
You can.
But you don't have to take up that task on December 31st.
Spend time with people who are safe and meaningful to you.
It's okay to spend limited time with some people you don't especially like,
If it will keep things easier in your life.
Consider your boundaries as you do so.
I don't have to connect with people for the holidays who I find unsafe.
I can limit access.
New Year's is just a human invention.
I don't need to participate or can pick and choose what's best for me.
I'm not the only one who finds this time to be triggering or overwhelming.
There are many others with the same emotions.
I can try my best to avoid the trap of existing as a human doing,
But instead be a human being.
I am a human being who happens to not get much joy out of New Year's.
And that's okay.
I don't have to like it,
Or I can adjust in ways that make sense.
I can just be me.
New Year's,
Same me.
