Feeling Otherworldly - Complex Trauma.

This audio is intended for folks who have experienced complex trauma and who at times feel otherworldly, which can be a symptom of CPTSD. This is a gentle walk through why someone might feel that way and a reminder that we are not alone. Our worldview will not change after listening to a 13 min audio, but perhaps it will give us a little nudge.

Light music plays throughout and continues for a few minutes after the speaking is done.

Music by Danielyan Ashot Makievich

Transcript

Today you feel otherworldly or perhaps that feeling never really goes away.

That feeling is real.

You are feeling it.

But feelings are not facts.

We might describe ourselves as completely different.

We may have a notion that no one could ever understand.

We may feel that some part of us is permanently damaged.

We can feel distrustful of society at large.

But I'd like to gently point out the use of the word we.

I know these feelings.

You know these feelings.

You are not the only one.

I am not the only one.

And believe me when I say this isn't limited to the two of us.

It is true that communicating our traumatic histories can be difficult.

But it is not impossible.

It is true that finding the right words can be one heck of a chore.

In those moments it can help to look to artists,

Writers,

Musicians and more.

These mediums can be a voice we have yet to harness.

And if they know,

Surely we are not alone.

For some of us,

There may have been direct or indirect messages that we were different,

Bad,

Or somehow not whole.

It's understandable that we have taken those into our hearts,

Especially if those ideas were repeated often.

I want you to know that those messages were wrong.

It was wrong for others to put those on you.

And I'm sorry that those feelings continue to live in your mind.

I'd like to offer up that it might be helpful to consider a shifted worldview.

Another aspect can be that those who harmed us were seen in some type of light of goodness,

Either by ourselves out of necessity,

By society for one reason or another,

Or a combination of the two.

And well,

If they're the good ones,

We must in turn be bad.

Right?

Wrong.

But it makes perfect sense that our minds use this form of coping.

I'd again like to offer up that it might be helpful to consider a different worldview.

We can also consider our good friend,

The nervous system,

Which I'd hazard a guess might play a part in this too.

At least I know it does for me.

Our nervous system may see having connections with other people as dangerous based off past experience,

Which made a lot of sense during traumatic times.

If we see ourselves as bad,

We might not make connections and therefore remain,

Quotes,

Safe.

You can thank your nervous system for this past wisdom that once indeed did help to keep you safe and share with it that you are no longer in these circumstances.

This takes time and effort,

But it can be done.

Dissociation or disconnection from the self can be a symptom or coping mechanism for us folks with trauma.

It makes sense to me that dissociation also causes feelings of being other worldly.

As you continue on your healing journey and regain a connection to yourself,

These feelings can and will shift,

And that's good news.

You may have received treatment or support that was not trauma informed.

You may have been made out to be a bad patient when in reality,

The practitioner or the theory was misinformed about trauma.

This too can be a source of not feeling normal.

I'm sorry those things happened.

It was unfair and unkind.

A lot of folks are now becoming trauma informed if they weren't already,

And society is making a shift too.

There may be other reasons than what we've shared here,

But the point is the reasons often make perfect sense,

And you aren't the only person who experiences this.

You are not other worldly.

This is true with all humans.

No one else has experienced life exactly as you have.

That is true.

Yet that doesn't mean you are an alien,

Or that what you've gone through is drastically different than other folks who have survived trauma.

You are not broken,

Flawed,

Or bad at being a human.

It was wrong for anyone to put that view into your mind,

And it makes perfect sense you may have adopted it too.

Disconnection from others and the self may have served as an excellent tool for keeping you safe.

You can rightfully be grateful for the wisdom behind this,

While also considering if this still serves a helpful purpose in your life.

You are not the only one who's walked in this place.

I've walked it,

You walk it,

And many others do too.

There is hope,

There is help,

And there is the possibility of beautiful connections.

It does take a lot of hard work to dive through this.

I know it isn't an easy task,

But you are worth the effort.

You are not otherworldly.

I am not otherworldly.

Together we are walking this healing path.

Reviews

This was so gentle and very spot on with your understanding of feeling otherworldly following complex traumas. Thank you very much. This meditation understood me and validated me when I thought no one else could.

That hit the spot. Thank you for that gift.
Kirk♍️

I've never felt so understood by insight timer content, thank you so so much!

I cried so much. This is a beautiful meditation. And the music … simply wonderful. I will come back for more. Thanks so much.

Thank you! I think this is the first time I listen to a meditation on depersonalization.
God bless you.
🙏👼🏼✨️♥️🕊

This is the first meditation I’ve come across that deals with this feeling that I couldn’t put a name to—this feeling of being “other”, like I don’t belong here. Thank you so much, Heidi, for this wonderful insight and help with something I couldn’t even define. 🙏🏻💚

Millions of long haulers can appreciate this. We belong in this world safely and equally. What we experience is real. Thank you.

This was a moving experience of solidarity. Thank you very much for keeping me company 🙏

Thank you for bringing together information that I had sensed before but not yet brought into focus!