Anxiety‑Friendly Breathing: A Different Way To Practice

Breath meditations are incredibly popular, and many people find them soothing. But for others, focusing on the breath can feel effortful, distracting, or even anxiety‑provoking. This gentle practice offers a different approach. You’ll explore simple techniques that help the breath feel natural again, without forcing it, controlling it, or trying to “do it right.” You’ll also learn what to do if the breath becomes uncomfortable, along with a few breathing methods you may not have come across before.

A supportive meditation for anyone who wants to work with the breath in a softer, safer, more sustainable way — whether you enjoy breath practices already or have found them challenging in the past.

Transcript

Before we begin,

Make sure that you're sitting,

Or lying,

In a comfy posture.

Now you may have heard that breath meditations are meant to make you feel relaxed and calm.

And of course,

They can.

Sometimes though,

Focusing on the breath may not seem relaxing at all.

Instead you might find yourself feeling tense,

Uncomfortable,

Or even anxious.

Thankfully there are solutions for this common problem,

And we'll explore them in this meditation.

So let's get started.

You can do that by gently closing your eyes,

And by appreciating that sense of turning inward,

Allowing yourself a respite from the busyness of the world.

Then deliberately yawn,

Opening your mouth wide to stretch the muscles of the jaw,

And allowing those muscles to relax as you breathe out.

And as we transition into this restful,

Meditative space,

Take a few moments just to listen.

Appreciate the incredible sensitivity of your hearing,

Noticing how you can pick up all kinds of sounds.

You can even listen to the underlying silence from which sounds emerge.

And as you listen,

Soften the muscles of the face,

Checking to see that your head is nicely balanced over the shoulders,

And letting your whole body sink downwards,

As though into a comfortable cushion or couch.

And you might remind yourself to be patient throughout this process,

Knowing that there may be times when you feel like things are going well,

And moments where you might notice some discomfort or restlessness.

With this in mind,

Focus on your hands,

Noticing what you feel in the right,

And comparing that with what you sense in the left.

How many different sensations can you notice in the hands?

What do they rest upon?

Can you notice contact points?

Pressure?

Weight?

Texture?

Tingling or warmth?

As you pay attention to these subtle sensations,

Remember that meditation is not always a smooth descent into calm.

Not every moment is likely to be quite as peaceful as you'd like,

And you'll almost certainly find your attention drawn into thought or memory from time to time.

This is not only natural or normal,

It's an essential part of the meditative process.

So you don't have to worry when this happens.

Indeed,

For now,

Why not imagine that you're lying in bed,

Feeling especially warm and cosy,

And get some impression of how the body feels under such conditions.

Perhaps heavy and soft.

The breath just a whisper within.

The mattress beneath you,

A cloud of feathers.

The body at rest.

And by now,

You might be wondering what kind of breath meditation this is,

Given that we've hardly mentioned it,

Let alone focused upon it.

And you might also note that because we haven't been fixated on the breath,

It's probably flowing quite freely and comfortably through your body,

And you're unlikely to be experiencing any difficulties with it.

This is an important insight,

And the first lesson to take on board.

Any time the breath begins to feel awkward,

Unnatural or uncomfortable,

Immediately stop focusing on it.

Instead,

Pay attention to the sensations in your hands or feet,

To the points of contact your body makes with the surfaces beneath you,

Or just listen intently to whatever sounds you can hear.

It's a simple way to diffuse any discomfort you might feel.

And doing this doesn't mean that you've somehow failed.

It's a smart strategy,

And a great way to begin to learn how to work more skilfully with the breath.

With this in mind,

Let's begin our search for a way to focus on the breath that works well for you.

To start,

Just notice what parts of your body move as you breathe.

Can you feel the rise and fall of the chest or belly?

See if you can focus on these movements without altering the natural rhythm of the breath.

And if you find this difficult,

Don't be alarmed.

Nearly everyone finds it hard not to control the breath to some degree.

You may find that you unconsciously lengthen or shorten the breath,

Or you may find yourself holding it in or out.

If this happens,

Try to let the breath return to its natural free-flowing rhythm.

This is usually easier to do if you don't focus too directly on it.

Instead you might focus on what you can hear,

And just glance or peek at the breath occasionally,

As though out of the corner of your eye.

Now let's see if we can expand our awareness of the breath.

You've already noticed the rise and fall of the belly and chest.

Can you also sense the subtle rise and fall of the shoulders?

Can you feel the ribs fan apart as you breathe in?

And can you feel them settle back into place as you breathe out?

Can you sense the breath gently massaging the organs of the abdomen?

And creating a wave-like oscillation in the lower back and spine?

Perhaps you can notice how the upper body expands in all directions with each inhalation,

Paying particular attention to the breath as it flows into the sides and back of the body.

How are you going so far?

However you're doing,

Give yourself a little break,

Allowing your attention to drift freely.

Maybe taking a moment to reflect back on the meditation so far.

And now let's try an alternative approach.

Many people think that there's a correct way to breathe,

And that in meditation the breath should be long,

Deep and full,

That you must push the belly out or activate the diaphragm.

None of this is necessary,

Nor relaxing for many people,

So we'll do the opposite.

We'll see if we can make the breath as delicate and as gentle as possible.

For the next minute then,

Imagine that you have a piece of duck down resting on your upper lip,

And imagine that those soft feathers hardly move as you breathe.

Let the breath be soft and subtle.

At the same time,

Try not to make the out-breath too long,

And try not to hold the breath at any point.

Let it flow easily and naturally.

And continue in this fashion for another minute or so,

Each breath a little more delicate than the last.

And remember that you can always focus on something else if the breath starts to become uncomfortable.

You don't want to inadvertently over-breathe or hyperventilate,

Which is quite easy to do if you start making the breaths too long or deep.

Now rest for a moment.

Take a 30 second nap without making any effort to relax or remain focused,

And I'll remain silent during this brief pause.

And let's continue.

I'd like to introduce a fabulous technique I call bum breathing.

It may well be the most effective breathing technique I know.

And certainly many people that have previously struggled with breath meditations have told me that this technique helps a lot.

So what I'd like you to do is imagine that the breath is entering the body,

Not through the mouth or the nose,

But instead from the base of the spine.

So as you breathe in,

It's as though air just flows into the pelvis and lower abdomen.

You don't have to try and fill up the lungs or push the belly out or activate the diaphragm.

And the breath doesn't have to be long or full.

The whole breath cycle can stay centered deep down in the body.

And the idea is just to let the body breathe for you.

Rather than using any effort,

You just allow the breath to flow in and out of the pelvis in its own time.

Let the breath flow into the body like water soaking into a sponge.

More like the lightest breeze rustling through the grass or leaves.

And you might picture an image of the Buddha in the lotus pose,

Sitting serenely on his butt.

The corners of his mouth turned upwards in a delicate smile.

And you might think to yourself,

Now I know precisely what he was doing.

This is the way to enlightenment.

Yes,

This is the way.

Now I had planned on introducing another two or three techniques,

But no pun intended.

This seems like a good place to end.

No pun intended.

Keep your eye out for part two of this meditation.

Coming soon to an app near you.

Reviews

I've long relied on breath to centre & relax, & have largely been successful. Knowing your other meditations, I approached this with curiosity. I was not disappointed. It provided novel ways (for me) to approach it, especially if my traditional approach isn't working well.
I'm learning that there is no 1 "right" way to meditate, & learning to benefit from a whole suite of new meditation styles.
Thank you for helping me open my mind!

So good! The bum breathing technique at the end just makes breathing so easy. Thanks Matt 🙏

The meditation ended abruptly with the phrase, "coming soon" and ended. Maybe my older version of insight timer on my older device did this. Maybe a reload.

But other than that, yes oh very cool way to notice the breath. I liked the work of the noticing of the right vs left hand. Very subtle. Thank you. Gail

Wonderful meditation !
Thsnk you

I was already lying in bed ...
As always, love your guidances

I enjoyed this. Thanks! 💖✌️

Wonderful! Relaxing and made me smile a lot. Useful techniques too.

Thanks Matt! Enjoyable as always 😃

If a meditation can be an entertaining exploration, this is the one! Will look out for no two ☺️

Matthew, ever since I happened upon one of your meditations on Insight Timer, I have been taken by the contrast between intuitive and popular meditation techniques that you describe. Your methods clearly work for me and this meditation really goes even a step further away from tradition for me and I love it!
As a former teacher, I would love to hear from you of the thought path that you took to come to your methodology. I assume that my request is counter intuitive to your process and you may even be aghast that I would even think to make such a request. I realize that your approach is a process approach and I am asking you to describe it in a very logical way. Yes, I am!
I ask for this analysis so that I can put together all of the meditations into one cohesive piece to put a framework around them all. I’m hoping that by doing this for me, you could move to publishing your ideas to make them more widely known around the world! I think that you’re onto something that could revolutionize meditation and make it palatable for many many people who like the idea of meditation but can’t make it work for them.
If you’ve gotten to my long diatribe, I say thank you. I would love a reaction from you!