Release Your Second Arrow

The Buddha's Second Arrow refers to the suffering caused by our own judgment, shame, or reaction to pain or discomfort, which compounds our suffering. The First Arrow represents unavoidable suffering, such as physical pain or loss, and the Second Arrow symbolizes our mental anguish, such as fear, shame, anger, or aversion, triggered by the First Arrow. In this 10-minute guided practice, we begin to recognize and get curious about our Second Arrow and how to observe our reactions with mindfulness and compassion, rather than exacerbating our suffering through resistance or attachment. By acknowledging our Second Arrow in the community, we can collectively heal together, cultivate equanimity, and lessen our mental distress in the face of adversity.

Music by Allen Grey and Ben Dransfield

Transcript

Hello and welcome.

My name is Megan Kirkchang and I'm so grateful that you're joining me today as we talk about the second arrow.

The Buddha once asked a student,

If a person is struck by an arrow,

Is it painful?

The student replied,

Why yes,

It is.

The Buddha then asked,

If the person is struck by a second arrow,

Is that even more painful?

The student replied again,

Yes,

It is.

The Buddha then explained,

In life,

We cannot always control the first arrow.

However,

The second arrow is our own reaction to the first.

And with this second arrow comes the possibility of choice.

The first arrow typically refers to the event or situation in your life that is deeply painful and causes us suffering.

We can have many multiple first arrows.

The second arrow is the one that we aim at ourselves to explain why the first arrow happened and refers to the judgment,

The criticism,

Shame,

Behaviors and reactions that actually exponentially magnify our pain from the first arrow.

We may feel justified in our second arrow.

And I believe that at some point,

We also begin to recognize that our second arrow is actually keeping us from feeling free.

So today,

How might you apply radical curiosity to reveal your own second arrow?

We all have our own bag of second arrows.

No one is immune.

It may be easy to identify obvious second arrows like rage or certain behaviors that we choose to avoid pain.

But I'm also talking about getting curious about even the most subtle of your second arrows.

The silent arrows that keep us from feeling fully self-expressed.

For example,

Have you ever talked yourself out of going for something that you really desired because you didn't think that you deserve it?

When you bring up difficult conversations with someone you care about,

Do you laugh or use sarcasm as a protection?

When someone compliments you,

Do you brush it off?

Do you rush to return a compliment?

So many examples of our subtle second arrow,

And I can't tell you how many people I've seen miss an opportunity because of their silent second arrow.

When we can recognize it,

When we can courageously name it together in community,

That's when we can start to shift it together.

Recognizing that we all carry our own second arrows,

Some obvious and some not so obvious.

So how might you dislodge some of the pain that your own second arrow is causing today?

Gently finding yourself in a comfortable seated or lying down position,

Honoring whatever feels most comfortable for you in this moment,

Making any adjustments that you might need to feel just one percent more comfortable,

More present.

If it feels right for you,

Place one or both hands gently over your heart space,

Imagining that your own healing touch is healing your own second arrow.

Giving yourself permission to be fully present,

See if you can focus awareness on your own subtle rhythm of breath,

Gently noticing the breath coming into the body on the inhale,

And noticing the breath leaving the body on your exhale.

Bringing awareness to the question,

How might you dislodge some of the pain of your second arrow?

What does my second arrow sound like and feel like?

How might I extend myself my deepest compassion,

Kindness and gentleness when I notice my second arrow surface?

As you feel comfortable beginning to draw a little more breath in through the nose on your in-breath,

Feeling the expansion through the upper chest and the abdomen,

And lengthening your out breath on the exhale,

Releasing,

Softening,

Letting go.

As you begin your day ahead,

Keeping these questions top of mind as you step towards a little more freedom of your own second arrows.

Remembering that we are all in this together,

We all have our own second arrows,

And when we name it in community,

That's when we collectively can start to heal.

I would love to hear how you are stepping towards freedom from your own second arrows.

I want to thank you for spending time here today.

I wish you ease,

Peace,

And a little more freedom.

We'll see you next time.

Reviews

Thought provoking. Will be listening to again and again.

Megan is my go to for feeling and exploring my emotions. Just live her teachings.

Perfectly timed in my life. The idea of subtle, silent second arrows opens a new perspective for me. TY Dr. Chang. 🙏🦋🌀🌟

Perfect and very helpful. The first arrow that hit me will never go away. I accepted it and have no need for 2nd arrow because the first will never go away.

The second arrow is a great synonym … and bringing it to the forefront certainly helps understand and tackle personal guilt and shame, and not deserving of love.
every time I do this meditation, it opens the door to different layers.
Looking to listening to this again and again to create an inner dialogue. Thank you. 🙏🏼

Stopping and breathing into the body and asking second arrow what are you wanting to tell me

Thank you 🙏🏽. As always, so helpful, calming and thoughtful. To answer your question: I will focus on my breath, and settle in the present moment.