Burning Brightly, Not Out - Insight Timer Live

So many people across the globe are reporting feelings of burnout, overwhelm, and being "soul tired." In this previously recorded 75-minute live session, we normalized our collective feelings related to burnout, explored the physiology of burnout, stages of burnout, and 4 strategies to return to wholeness. We heal when we come together in community and name our experience.

*Please note the audio may contain background noises due to the live format*

Transcript

So we are talking today about a topic that is really near and dear to my heart because I'm actively actually going through my own journey of healing from burnout.

And one of the things that I hear repetitively in whatever context I'm in,

Whether it's my work environment,

Whether it's with friends,

Whether it's with clients that I work with through Insight Timer,

One thing is very consistent and common that so many of us are describing similar feelings.

And one of the things that I hear over and over is this feeling of being soul tired.

And so if this feels like you,

Pop me a hands up if you are feeling like your soul is tired or if you're feeling like you are going through extreme levels of exhaustion or perhaps you're not feeling quite like yourself or you can't quite bounce back like maybe you used to.

Yeah,

So I'm seeing like lots of hands.

Tia,

You've got like a million hands up there and Mo and Jean and Shanna and Ken.

Exactly.

So I wanted to create a space for us to really unpack and talk about burnout.

What is it?

How is it different than stress?

What are the signs and symptoms?

How can we be more preventive?

And if we're in actual acute burnout stage,

Some of you might be here on this session today.

What are some ways that you can start to manage that?

Burnout is pervasive right now.

And so I really wanted to create a space where you came here and didn't feel like you were alone.

And so already in the chat,

So many people are saying,

Yes,

I feel this way.

So that's what today is really about.

So just to briefly introduce myself,

It's been a while.

I love Insight Timer so much.

I've been a teacher here on the platform for not quite two years,

Almost two years.

I fell in love with Insight Timer first as a participant because you really get to access so many different types of teachers and perhaps people that you don't normally hear about in the mainstream.

And there's some incredibly gifted practitioners and instructors here on the platform.

And I highly recommend searching any topic you want and you will find incredible teachers.

Outside of Insight Timer,

I work at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence.

I consider myself an emotion science researcher,

Really exploring the impact of PTSD and trauma on our psychophysiology.

And that's a big fancy word for our mind and body connection.

And so on Insight Timer,

What my purpose has been is to bring the academic science into a more palatable format on Insight Timer so the community at large can really benefit from some of what we're learning academically.

So I have a course here on Insight Timer called The Wisdom of Our Wounds talking about the way trauma shows up in our autonomic nervous system,

Our brain and our body.

I offer my mentorships sessions here and I'm actually leading a workshop coming up in a couple of weeks called Finding Grace in Grief Together and exploring the physiology of grief and how do we start to again come together in community and recognize that grief is a very universal experience.

I eventually will bring back yoga and meditation sessions to the platform.

But as I mentioned briefly at the beginning,

I am actively going through my own healing journey with extreme exhaustion and burnout.

Some of you in my circle here on the platform know that almost a year ago to the day,

It was a year ago last week,

I survived a tornado but my home and my vehicles didn't.

And so it's been a lot.

There's been other things that have also occurred in the last year to compound the burnout that I've gone through.

But I've really had to take a step back to focus on my own well-being and to really make sure that when I showed up for you in this space that I was doing the things that we're going to be talking about because one of the things that's so important to me is to authentically be walking this journey,

Not just telling people what they should or shouldn't do.

So I've been on my own journey of healing and recovery.

And it's been really hard because I've loved this community so much and just to see some of you here and your support and just welcoming me back with open arms just means so much because I've really missed you so I'm really happy to be here.

I love Insight Timer live sessions because they're accessible for everyone.

And for those of you that are just newly being introduced to me,

Part of my work will always include offering free content on this platform.

And that's what I love most about Insight Timer compared to other meditation apps is that they really emphasize accessibility and also representation across the app.

So like I said,

Really get used to searching whatever topics that you want and you will find a really awesome group of teachers here.

So as we talk about burnout and burnout recovery,

I do just want to say first and foremost that this is a general education session.

Because of the way this format is,

It's so difficult to not be able to hear from you,

Kind of hear your voice or hear your experience.

So in this one hour session,

You know,

As much as I'd love to tailor this for every single unique lived experience that all of you might be going through with your journey of burnout,

It's impossible for me to do that.

So what I really invite you to do is to take what works.

Take what works from this session.

You're going to hear from people in this session in the chat.

I'm going to ask you to share some of your experience.

So take what works for you and leave the rest.

There may be something that I say or suggest that triggers a different reaction in you.

Some people might really be like,

Yeah,

That actually makes sense.

And some people might have a sense of confusion or maybe a bit of resistance.

And I just invite you to welcome the experience with that.

This is just one person's perspective.

So I'm going to predominantly be drawing on my own lived experience for this discussion.

But I invite you,

If you feel like there's something you'd like to add that you think the community would benefit from hearing,

Please feel free to do so in this chat.

I really believe in co-creating these sessions as opposed to me just talking at you.

So absolutely please feel free to share.

So in terms of a quick agenda,

Because I like to keep us organized,

I'm just going to go through some housekeeping.

We'll get into an arrival practice.

And then we'll dive into an overview of what burnout is and how it differs from stress.

Because I think sometimes we can get these two concepts a little bit confused.

Then we'll go through some stages of burnout,

Sort of like the initial stages right through to full burnout mode.

We'll talk about some of the physiology.

Don't worry,

There's no test on this.

But I think it's really important to shift away from this idea that burnout's only a psychological or mental manifestation and talk about some of the very real ways that burnout shows up in our physiology.

Because when we understand the body,

We start to tell ourselves that we make sense.

And my hope for all of you,

Even if it's like 1% more,

Is to validate your own experience and say,

Hmm,

I make sense.

Then we'll end with strategies to manage burnout.

I'm going to call on you to share some of the strategies that have worked for you.

And then we'll leave time for Q&A.

Most of you know that I have a really hard time keeping these sessions right to an hour because I want to give you as much information as possible.

But I'll do my best to keep us on time.

OK,

So in terms of housekeeping,

Just really quick,

Most of you know that I am such an advocate for creating a safe container for everyone to benefit from the session.

So one of the first things I want to say is that let's avoid this idea of burnout Olympics.

And what I mean by that is that burnout often creates the feeling like no one knows what I'm possibly going through and generates this idea that we are separate from other people.

And I've been there.

Some of you this might land to as well.

And burnout is often rooted in that feeling of not being seen,

Heard,

Or understood.

But today in this space with community,

We are here to honor our collective human experience of burnout.

And that means that we all have our own threshold and we all have our own context and unique experience with what it means to be burnt out.

So let's avoid the Olympic game of saying,

Well,

You've gone through this.

At least you haven't done or experienced X,

Y,

And Z.

Burnout is subjective to the individual.

And so what might have made me feel burnt out might be no big deal for somebody else and vice versa.

OK,

So it's not a competition at all.

OK,

I always like to mention that you're responsible for the energy that you bring into this space.

There are some people on this call who are actively working through severe bouts of burnout and chronic stress and potentially trauma.

So it's really important for all of us to uphold the tone of this chat to be in the spirit of community and encouragement.

So important to me.

So if you're actively feeling triggered or you're actively feeling really difficult emotions,

Super important that you take a pause and implement your own strategies to regulate before commenting in the chat,

Because energy is contagious.

And then I love questions,

But I want to get through some of the education for folks today.

So I'm going to leave the majority of questions till the end.

But as I can,

I'll absolutely be checking the chat and making sure I answer what I can.

And then feel free to take notes,

Grab a journal and pen,

Get comfy.

This is I really want this to be,

You know,

A community space that you take a lot from.

OK,

So as you're getting your equipment,

You're getting set up and feeling comfortable,

Let all find ourselves in a comfortable shape.

So if you want to be seated,

If that feels good for you,

Find yourself in your seat sitting upright.

If you want to lie down,

If you're feeling like,

You know what,

We're talking about burnout and it really could lie down,

Honor that.

So finding yourself in a comfortable,

Seated,

Lying down position,

Whatever feels right for you.

And we're going to get into just a short mindfulness practice.

If it feels right for you,

You can bring the eyes to a close,

But you don't have to.

Sometimes it's more comfortable to just drop the gaze downwards off the tip of the nose.

And just taking a few moments to give yourself permission to arrive in this space,

Maybe letting your to do list or the day that you just had or just about to start letting the past or the future just sit off to the side,

Arriving fully to this moment.

You may wish to draw awareness down to the soles of the feet,

Perhaps rocking the feet from tips of the toes to the heels and back,

Or maybe wiggling the toes,

Just really sensing into the feet,

Feeling the soles of the feet.

So often when we're going through chronic stress or burnout,

We tend to live above the neck.

And so just taking a couple of moments to notice what it feels like to draw into the body,

Remembering that we have a body to help us navigate challenging times.

If it feels right for you,

Just taking the awareness now to the breath,

Not trying to change the breath,

Trying your best to not evaluate the breath as right or wrong or good or bad.

Just simply noticing what does the breath feel like as it enters the body?

And what does the breath feel like as it leaves the body?

Perhaps noticing the temperature or the pace or flow,

Without judgment,

As best you can.

Again the subtle shift when we bring awareness to the breath,

We naturally,

Without having to think about it,

Start to lengthen the breath just a little bit more.

We're going to gently experience the practice of being on your own side.

What I've learned with the experience of burnout is that oftentimes we're not on our own side.

We might be self-critical.

We might be judging ourselves or quick to feel frustration or irritation.

And so the invitation right now is to take one or both hands and gently place the hand over your heart,

Coming into this heart-mind connection.

And if placing your hand over your heart doesn't feel comfortable,

Perhaps find another gentle contact.

Maybe you want to bring the arm over and the hand to gently rest on the upper arm.

Maybe you want to take the hand to the face,

Whatever feels right for you.

Just experimenting with that for a moment.

Breathing into the space just behind the heart,

Feel the heart space expand on the in-breath.

Just settling into this gentle contact and reflecting on the question,

What does it feel like to be on your own side?

One way we may start doing that is just tuning into the body and noticing what might the body need right now to feel 1% more comfortable.

So maybe that's brushing the hair out of your face or adjusting your clothing.

Maybe it's stretching or twisting,

Making a gentle move.

What does it feel like to listen to what your body needs right now in this moment?

And then asking yourself,

What are the words that you might need to hear from yourself right now?

Instead of the judgment or the criticism or feeling like you're not quite getting it right,

What are the words that you are craving to hear?

What do you need to hear right now?

And see if you might extend a short phrase to yourself that represents being on your own side.

It might be,

I'm here for you.

Or I'm listening.

Or I'm on your side.

And just noticing the experience.

Remembering there's no right or wrong.

This can be really challenging,

Especially if we've been saying more critical things to ourselves.

This can feel a little awkward or a little inauthentic at first.

That's okay.

Just notice it.

And just settling into this idea of being on your own side.

What does your body need?

What words does your mind need to hear from you?

Whenever you feel ready,

Just making an intuitive movement in the body that makes sense,

Whether it's a big stretch,

Big morning stretch up over your head or maybe twist side to side.

Just being on your own side.

What intuitive movement feels right in your body right now?

So this idea of being on your own side when you notice chronic stress,

Exhaustion,

Or burnout is going to be a really critical theme throughout this session today.

So I'd love to hear in the chat,

If anyone's feeling courageous,

What were the words that you repeated to yourself that represented being on your own side?

So I shared a couple of examples,

But I'd love to know if anyone else had something different.

Ah,

Beautiful,

Chrissy.

So I am safe.

Love it.

Yeah.

Sunny.

I love that too.

Amazing.

Amazing.

One that came up for me was,

You've got this.

You've got this.

Lonnie,

I'm doing my best and it is enough.

Yes.

Kim,

We are strong as we are.

Paulette,

You're actually doing a great job and are sort of badass,

To be honest.

I love that.

That's amazing.

That's amazing.

I will protect myself.

I am here for you.

Amazing.

Isn't it amazing to read all of the ways that we share these statements to be on our own side and how infrequent we actually say those things to ourselves?

And so just get curious about that.

Why is our default mode not to say these beautiful things?

I am lovingly grateful.

It's okay.

Everything will be all right.

I don't necessarily have the answer to that,

But I just always find it so curious that this isn't our default mode.

But when you read through all of them,

There's that sense of like,

Oh yeah,

Yeah,

Being on your own side.

So some of the questions I want to ask you today are what led you to come to this workshop on burnout?

Something led you to say,

Oh,

I want to come to this.

So what do you hope to take away?

What are some of the things that you're curious about?

Again,

We're co-creating together and I want to make sure that I am staying on track with what you need to take away today.

Okay.

How to give myself permission to slow down.

Yes,

Karen.

We are going to talk about discovering your relationship with rest,

Preventing burnout from happening again.

Beautiful.

Sustainable self-growth.

Want to see if there are other tools.

Awesome.

Yes,

Luna,

Day by day.

And I love that you said that because I think sometimes we can look for the giant leaps and bounds.

And I know Lonnie will give me a little heart when she hears me say that one of my biggest phrases is for one breath more than before.

So how do we do small incremental steps knowing that those small steps really are the big steps?

Awesome.

Oh,

Chrissy,

Middle school teacher.

Angels in disguise are teachers,

Frontline workers over the last couple of years.

Yes.

Okay.

Awesome.

So all of these are really great and thank you for sharing these because I think a lot of people,

Whether or not you're sharing,

Will resonate with these.

I resonate with all of these.

Okay.

So I want to know from you,

How do you know when you are on the verge or experiencing burnout?

What are the symptoms?

What are the signs that are true for you?

Because oftentimes we're so good at this as human beings,

We ignore the signs and think we're fine,

We're fine until we're actually over the tipping point and in an acute burnout phase.

So I see chronic procrastination happens.

Yes,

Depression and anxiety increases.

Really great to say that Sunny because burnout and depression often overlap and are intertwined and interlinked.

Karen,

Exhausted,

Depression,

Procrastination,

Lethargic,

Increase in panic attacks.

My house gets messy.

Yes,

Sam.

Those are some of my initial signs too.

I just can't seem to get organized.

I begin to tell myself I will get back to the self care,

But I need to do,

Lani,

That's a very important statement.

I need to do X,

Y,

Or Z.

Yeah.

Mental exhaustion,

Fatigue,

Pain flare ups.

Yeah.

Act like a robot.

Oh my gosh.

All of these are fantastic.

And absolutely signs that we need to pay attention here.

And so one of the things that's important to me,

Like I said at the beginning is burnout is often been categorized as a psychological manifestation and absolutely there's a psychological component.

But one of the things I hope you take away today is this idea of overlapping domains.

So here's my little chart.

Hopefully you can all see that.

Don't give me artistic points.

But in one domain we have the mind or the psychological manifestation of burnout.

In another domain we have the body.

We often forget that we have a body that can help us,

But is also speaking to us at every minute of the day about how we're doing.

And then over here we have the soul or the spirit.

So all of these domains of our lives that make us human beings get impacted by the experience of burnout.

But the unfortunate thing in the literature or in what we read is we're often hyper focused on the mind,

But we need to also consider the inter dynamics and the relationship between all three.

The other thing about burnout is that it's often linked to work related context.

So the earliest researchers on burnout looked at mental health professionals,

People that were working with other individuals that were going through extreme levels of stress or trauma or burnout.

And we've learned so much from that.

But what I think is really key is that we've all come through nearly two and a half years of an unbelievable time in history.

And this low grade stress of being involved in the pandemic,

Whether or not we are working is absolutely a contributing factor to why I believe there's this pervasive experience of burnout.

So I want to move us away from just the psychological and just work related context because I think a lot of people might actually have a lot of fulfillment in their work,

But they're still experiencing burnout in other contexts of their lives.

So let's kind of deconstruct that and be open minded to burnout is kind of a little bit more broad than what we typically know it to be.

So I'd love to hear from you.

What is the difference between stress and burnout?

What is stress versus burnout?

How would you distinguish the two?

Awesome,

Jason.

So stress is more temporary,

Where burnout,

Look at Peter Brook and Jason,

Like perfect answer.

Stress is more temporary.

Burnout is more long term.

Beautiful.

Burnout is just when you can't take stress anymore.

Burnout feels like completely empty,

Like your tank is empty.

Yes,

T.

S.

Stress is more manageable.

Burnout you're in collapse.

See,

Y'all know what this is all about.

So this is amazing.

So oftentimes stress gets a bad rap that stress is a bad thing.

We have to remember there's kind of two distinctions of stress.

There's eustress.

So E-U-S-T-R-E-S-S.

Stress is happy,

Fulfilling moments in our lives,

But do activate our nervous system or our body into action.

Weddings,

Birth of a child,

Exciting things that you go see or do as part of entertainment,

Going to a concert.

They might stress our system,

But they are derived from happy experiences.

And then there's distress.

So that's threat or perceived or real danger that our body mobilizes us into action to get out of.

And stresses,

We are designed to go through multiple stressors in a day.

You know,

Probably in your day already,

You had multiple different stressful moments.

So getting stuck in traffic,

Me thinking,

Oh,

Did I unplug my curling iron this morning?

Arriving late to a meeting.

Those types of things are very normal in our day to day.

And we have this system in our body that mobilizes us to meet those demands or potential threats,

Prepare us to get into action.

We typically know this as fight or flight.

And we can meet the demand and then our body is able to return to a balanced state.

Okay.

I won't go into too much detail,

But this is all living in our autonomic nervous system.

And we've got our sympathetic nervous system and our parasympathetic.

Parasympathetic is fight or flight.

Parasympathetic is rest and digest.

And the two systems work together to keep our body in this,

You know,

Adaptive state where we can rise to meet demands and then we can rest and replenish.

Okay.

So stress is not a bad thing.

We are designed as human beings to go through multiple stresses in a day.

But where burnout comes in is where it's chronic exposure to stress,

Whether it's by choice or not,

That has not been addressed or managed.

So the stress response hasn't been able to complete itself.

And we become more and more,

It's like a more and more compound effect that leads to exactly what you're saying in the chat.

Same levels of exhaustion,

Complete depletion,

Feeling empty.

But the other piece that comes into play is also more of a personality component of feeling really,

Really cynical and noticing changes in the way that you're showing up.

So cynicism is a huge component of burnout and disconnection.

Now oftentimes when burnout has been researched,

It's looking at work-related contexts.

But one of the things,

Like I said,

I really want to honor and talk about,

And I'd love to hear if anyone like this is in our group today so we can honor you and celebrate you,

Is that it can be work-related that's not linked to your occupation.

So I think of what's known as the sandwich generation.

Parents who are not only caring for young children,

But are caregivers of elderly parents.

So you're in the sandwich of looking after young children and looking after elderly parents.

Frontline workers.

So we all know nurses,

Personal support workers,

Therapists,

Physicians,

Teachers,

Like there's so many to name and I want to name them all,

But frontline workers over the last two and a half years,

The moral dilemma of the influx of people who have had to be treated by COVID or the fears surrounding COVID,

Or you might not work in treating COVID,

But the demands or the delays or wait lists for the people that you need to serve have been astronomically huge because of what's been going on with the pandemic.

Mental health professionals,

Counselors,

Therapists,

Coaches,

People who have been working with people like ourselves that are like,

I need to talk to somebody.

Mental health challenges are pervasive right now.

So professionals working with clients are at risk of experiencing burnout.

And then single parents or parents of multiple children that are also working.

So kind of this whole level of complexity of,

You know,

It's not just work related on the job,

But other hats that you might wear can compound and lead you to being at risk of burnout,

Especially in the last couple of years.

Yes,

Tia,

Like the wait lists for therapists is astronomical.

The wait lists for people to get elective surgeries or treatment for things other than COVID,

Astronomical.

So absolutely,

Compounding stresses.

Yeah,

Exactly,

Exactly.

And so we have these experiences of paid and unpaid work related duties.

And then we add the pandemic.

So as human beings,

We were not designed to hear or see constant news and constant changing of messaging.

There's been no time to actually turn off what's been going on with the pandemic.

And that coupled on top of some of the world changes,

The war against Russia and Ukraine,

Gun violence in the US,

You know,

Political strife across the globe,

Other natural disasters across the globe.

We were not designed as human beings to take in all of this constant negative news.

And so it's another compounded low grade.

Like you might think,

Oh,

It's happening across the globe.

It doesn't affect me,

But as human beings to absorb this kind of news,

This kind of context on the regular is actually imprinting on our mind and body.

There's no time to turn it off.

Everywhere you look from waiting rooms to your cell phones to news alerts,

There's news all the time that's fear based.

We also might have our own fears of getting COVID or witnessing loved ones get it.

There's been continual changes in messaging around public health guidelines,

Like continual changes.

Every country is also a little bit different.

One country is doing this and other countries doing that state to state,

Province to province.

So continual changes as human beings.

Some people thrive on change,

But we weren't designed to go through constant change and constant change in rules or norms or messaging guidelines.

So that is a hit to our system.

Some of you may have listened to my Polly Vagel theory talk on insight timer and the COVID-19 pandemic.

So wearing personal protective equipment is also a low grade stress to the system.

Being masked,

Not being able to distinguish if somebody's safe to talk to.

Eye contact is getting worse.

Speaking in a tone of voice that's comforting and welcoming.

Where I go right now,

There's more and more intolerance that I'm seeing,

Impatience.

And it's not to blame any one individual.

I think the context that we're in and what we are experiencing is leading to more complaining,

More higher levels of intolerance,

Divisiveness,

Separateness,

Impatience.

Literally having to wear PPE.

We've had to separate ourselves,

But as human beings,

We're designed to be in connection.

We are social beings designed to be engaging with one another.

We've also experienced a collective loss.

Like hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people,

Millions of people have lost their lives due to the pandemic or other issues that have gone on at the exact same time.

And again,

As human beings,

We are not designed to hold this collective loss,

But we have access to it like never before.

And then there's also individual guilt,

Shame,

Fear,

And comparison.

So you might notice somebody who's you think has gone through more than what you've gone through and they seem to be getting along just fine and you can't quite seem to bounce back like you once used to.

So there's this comparison game happening as we return to work spaces or within the family dynamic.

We're seeing some people really struggling and some people seemingly not struggling at all.

So there can be that comparison game as well.

And so we can't ignore this,

Right?

Like we can't ignore what we've all collectively gone through in the last couple of years and think that it hasn't imprinted in our brain and our body.

So in terms of what exactly is burnout,

Again,

It's a mistake to assume that burnout is merely psychological or emotional and only related to long demanding hours in the workplace.

It's so much more than that.

Burnout takes a profound physical toll on our mind,

On our body,

And on our soul.

And it's not just a state of mind.

It leaves its mark on the body.

So I always like to give like a clinical definition,

But we can expand this together.

So burnout first emerged in the research not that long ago,

Like in the mid 1970s.

So psychologist Herbert Freudenberger,

Don't worry,

No test on that,

First started looking at this idea of burnout by observing mental health professionals that offered free therapy or free counseling to people who needed it and started to notice some pretty consistent trends.

So burnout is defined as a loss of motivation,

A growing sense of emotional depletion.

And when I say emotional depletion,

It's like you have no more capacity in you to deal with either external emotions that you're witnessing in family dynamics or the workplace,

Or in internal emotions with yourself,

Coupled with cynicism.

And this is often in combination with resentment of other people.

So Freudenberger actually found that burned out therapists started really resenting their clients,

Really resented if they asked certain questions or if they said certain things,

The therapist would start to show signs of resentment.

Okay,

So the definition that we'll go with is a loss of motivation,

Growing sense of emotional depletion,

Cynicism,

And then this is coupled with the behavior of resentment towards other people.

And you know,

I've had to really get real with myself.

I don't define myself as a resentful person,

But I think that's one of the signs that I noticed in myself is the way that I would feel over the last year with certain members of my family or friends,

Friend groups,

There was like some resentment coming up.

And I had to get really curious about that.

And so,

You know,

I name it because sometimes it's really hard to admit that,

You know,

Especially for people that are seen as being positive and optimistic,

Or you're like an emotional support for a lot of people,

Burnout almost shifts the way that you show up and you start to become unrecognizable,

Not only to yourself,

But to other people.

And that's a really hard thing to admit sometimes.

So I share that with you because if you're going through it,

You know,

You're not alone.

You're definitely not alone.

And no one here is immune to burnout.

I think we all have it collectively within us,

The potential to be burnt out.

So one of the interesting things about burnout is it's actually recognized in the ICD,

The International Classification of Disorders,

As a legitimate medical disorder.

Whether or not a physician or health care provider believes in the ICD,

I think it's really important that burnout has become so researched that it is now a legitimate medical disorder.

And they describe it more as a state of vital exhaustion.

So your vital signs.

And burnout often overlaps with depression,

Chronic fatigue syndrome,

For example,

Or extreme fatigue,

A loss of passion,

And intensifying negativity.

Yes,

H,

Getting grumpy and irritable and it's not like you.

And I think that that is such a key statement,

You know,

Is like,

Ah,

That's not like me.

And recognizing that.

Yeah,

It's very hard to accept.

Yes,

Lonnie,

Very,

Very hard to accept.

And the hopeful piece is that when we can name it like we're doing right now and we can talk about it,

We start to realize that it's not our identity.

It's external to our identity.

It's a man.

It's a legitimate medical condition that is manifested as a result of what we've gone through or what we're going through,

Which means that our identity is not linked to it.

Something that's happening to us.

OK,

So going through,

You know,

Some of the stages of burnout.

OK,

So initially and kind of see,

I'm going to give you about 10 to 12 different stages of burnout.

And I'd love to see where you think you land on that.

Where do you think you are?

Because I'm going to start with like sort of the more lighter stages of burnout and end with like utter complete burnout collapse and kind of see where do you sit.

OK.

So the first stage of burnout is this compulsive sense to hustle for your worthiness or to prove yourself.

There's this compulsion to have to prove yourself in some way,

Shape or form.

OK.

Think about where that might live for you.

It might be in a work related setting.

Maybe you started a new job.

I started a new job at a job that I never thought that I would get at a time where I went through a natural disaster.

And so that compulsion of like,

Oh,

They better not see that I'm struggling with what I'm going through outside of work.

So I have to prove myself because I'm new.

I'm a woman and I'm from a different country.

So this compulsion to have to prove myself,

Hustle to be seen as worthy.

Next stage is you push yourself to work even harder.

Is you're not quite seeing the return.

You don't think you're doing quite enough.

So it's this added push to work even harder.

Next stage is neglecting some of your needs and all of the things we know to do for our own self care.

We start to justify or rationalize why we don't have time.

Just like Lonnie said,

She knows got to work on self care,

But I need to do this first.

So we start to negotiate with ourselves and we typically now view self care or our own needs as something that has to be earned.

Only when we complete something can we then give ourselves permission,

But it's like a dangling carrot.

We never actually get to grab it.

We keep pushing our needs off because we see that we're not quite meeting what we think we've got to meet.

Next stage,

We move a little bit deeper into feeling really conflicted.

And starting to externalize or blame other people or the external situation for the cause of why you're not feeling like yourself.

Then we move into a little bit deeper.

We deny,

We deny that we are going through deeper levels of stress or that there's any problem at all because it's again,

That blame gets a little deeper on somebody else or the situation.

Then we negotiate and revise our own values and focus on work even more,

Focus on the work,

Whether it's paid or unpaid.

We focus on the task even further.

We dive even more deeper.

This is where workaholism comes into play.

Going a little bit deeper,

You start to withdraw from your social life and your family.

You start to not do any kind of socializing.

You retreat and you either work even more,

You justify why you can't be around certain people.

Then noticeable changes in your behavior happens.

People start to notice like,

Hey,

You seem a little bit off or you seem a little bit different.

And if you've got complex family dynamics,

That can even magnify even further.

Then you start to depersonalize and detach.

So it becomes even more noticeable.

There starts to be this disconnect happening.

Then a lot of people said this on the chat,

Starting to feel that emptiness,

That numbness.

And you might start to experiment with different substances to cope with that feeling.

You might suffer from insomnia,

For example,

That feeling of being wired but tired and you can't quite get that cycle to regulate.

So we start to take different things to help us and force us to get some kind of rest,

But it really isn't working.

Then we move into more of that deeper layers of depression,

Feeling lost and exhausted and that soul tiredness and that inability to bounce back.

And then the final stage is complete collapse.

And this might actually lead to hospitalization for some folks,

But complete burnout and collapse mentally and physically just can't do it anymore,

Complete collapse.

So lots of different,

You can kind of see how it can get tricky,

This vicious cycle and all of a sudden you're in that emptiness,

Numbness,

Depressed,

Lost state really quickly if we're not careful.

So kind of going through all of that,

Where do you think you land in terms of stages of burnout?

Do you add the initial stages of noticing like,

Hey,

I'm hustling for my worthiness and putting my sense of worthiness and enoughness in somebody else's hands.

I'm doing that a little too much.

Like,

Are you at that end or are you like that lost inability to bounce back,

Soul tired at a loss for,

I don't know how to get out of this.

Yeah.

So Tia,

Afraid,

Too afraid to go to the ER.

And you raise a really good point because,

Oh my gosh,

Like emergency departments with the context of the pandemic,

Like I think the average wait in Canada in the ER is something like 15 hours to be seen.

Of course somebody would be afraid to go to the ER right now.

And so it's really hard because we are experiencing this intense experience,

But then we feel at a loss because the places and spaces that are designed to help us,

There's barriers that are happening there as well.

Some people have more agency and more capacity to carve out strategies to deal with burnout where some people,

There are going to be naturally more challenges.

I'm so grateful for all of you sharing where you think you're at because again,

When you are feeling like Shanna saying towards the lost end,

Like that's really hard to admit.

It's really hard to have the courage to say like,

Hey,

I'm actually feeling like consistent depression and the inability to bounce back.

It's hard to admit that,

But like look at how many people are experiencing similar feelings.

And so again,

We are not alone.

We are not alone in this experience.

So let's talk a little bit about some of the brain and body imprints of burnout.

So the biggest thing,

People with burnout have extreme difficulty modulating strong negative emotional responses because you just have an empty tank,

Right?

But life doesn't stop.

And that's the catch 22 is like,

We are desperate for rest and a break,

But life continues to keep going.

And so people who are in that acute phase of burnout,

Modulating strong negative emotions or experiences or situations is really,

Really challenging.

And that's because there's an area in the brain called the amygdala.

Some of you probably heard this multiple times,

But the amygdala is like a little almond shape region of the brain.

That's our threat detection center.

Okay.

So I do a lot of work with trauma survivors and when we're traumatized,

You know,

There's similar comparisons with burnout.

That's a little slow simmer where trauma is very like extreme and sudden in the general sense.

The amygdala is what helps us turn on the systems in our body to get out of danger.

But when we've experienced burnout,

The amygdala actually becomes more activated.

It actually increases in size.

This is known and witnessed on imaging.

For example.

And so when we have a more reactive amygdala,

We are constantly experiencing our environment as threatening.

We are less able to distinguish between real or imagined threats because of this overactivity.

Everything in the environment is perceived as a threat to our system.

So that leads to a cascade of lots of different reactions in the body and we constantly feel heightened anxiety on edge,

On guard,

For example,

To a point.

And then if we don't manage that,

We move into withdrawal and shutdown mode.

When the amygdala is increased in size,

What actually happens is our prefrontal cortex.

So this is what makes us humans,

The space behind the forehead.

This is what makes us different than,

You know,

Fish,

For example,

Is we have this beautiful prefrontal cortex.

It starts to deactivate because the amygdala is like on alert,

On alarm.

So our prefrontal cortex starts to go offline.

So if we have an overactive amygdala and an underactive prefrontal cortex,

We are not responding.

We are reacting.

The prefrontal cortex is where we problem solve.

It's where our executive function is.

And there's actually very clear research showing that people who are burned out actually have a thinning of the prefrontal cortex,

Which basically means like the neural pathways aren't functioning as well as they could be.

And it's this vicious feedback loop.

When we've got an overactive amygdala,

It leads to an underactive prefrontal cortex,

Which then triggers further stimulation of the amygdala.

So we get into this loop that is very,

Very difficult.

We also have cognitive impacts.

So the cognitive impact of burnout is that it disrupts creativity.

We are in survival mode that the regions of the brain that are responsible for creative thinking,

Joy,

Problem solving,

And working memory even,

They also get turned off.

People with burnout are more prone to attentional lapses.

So not being able to pay attention.

One of the things that happened to me this last year is I'd be literally face to face with my partner having a conversation.

And like literally in the moment,

He's like,

Did you hear what I just said?

And I couldn't recall what like two seconds prior what the conversation was.

So these attentional lapses,

And it was,

I'm laughing now,

But it was scary in the moment where he's like,

We literally just talked about this.

And I would have no recollection of,

I couldn't pay attention to the dialogue.

There's also memory impairment.

So also in this last year,

You know,

Wasn't uncommon for me to put my milk in the cupboard or to put my purse in the fridge.

Like these are things that happen.

So things like just the cognitive impacts of being burned out,

Like some really unusual things happen.

And so I share that with you because it's what happens.

Our brain is being so impacted by what we're going through that,

You know,

Memory and attention,

Creativity all get impacted.

And then the last phase that I want to say before we get into the recovery,

I can't believe it's almost an hour,

My goodness,

Is our neuroendocrine system.

So we have this incredible system in our body that controls and regulates hormone function.

We need hormones for lots of different processes in our body.

And so we talk about cortisol a lot,

Which is known as the stress hormone.

And we have the HPA access,

Which is the hypothalamic pituitary adrenal access.

So regions of the brain send messages to our adrenal glands to release the stress hormone cortisol.

When we are normally functioning and regulated,

Our body releases cortisol to meet that demand.

And once the threat is passed,

Our cortisol levels drop off and we return to baseline.

Okay,

We've got this beautiful system.

With burnout,

The body doesn't return to baseline levels.

At first it takes longer.

And then eventually we have such a depletion of cortisol that if there is a stress,

We have to activate even deeper brain regions that pump out other hormones like adrenaline.

So I don't know if anyone's gone through this,

But I did experience this this last year where I had an adrenaline surge.

This feeling of like that stomach dropping and then all of a sudden heartbeat is like pounding in my chest,

Panic,

Bright-eyed,

Feeling like terror.

But it was in the middle of the night when I was resting.

I don't know if anyone has had that happen,

But when we have a depletion of cortisol,

The body has to work even harder and call on deeper brain regions to pump out the system and then the system can kind of get out of whack and we can experience,

Like I said,

Adrenaline surges where it's like this panicked feeling in the middle of the night when you're sleeping.

Becca is asking if that's called a night terror.

For me,

It wasn't linked to,

At least I don't recall it being linked to like a nightmare or like something that I was dreaming.

It was more literally my body was having its own party and my mind was not connected to it.

It was like it was just happening.

So one of the things that happens to folks with burnout is what's called hypocortisolism.

Okay,

So you can get this tested.

Naturopathic doctors do this,

Some primary care providers look at cortisol levels.

Hypocortisolism is essentially like no cortisol in the morning compared to healthy controls.

Like when you get up in the morning,

Your cortisol levels are supposed to be at a standardized level,

But hypocortisolism is like no more cortisol.

Your body's used it all up.

And this actually leads to low grade inflammation in the body.

So a whole host of other things like microbiome or gut issues,

Irritable bowel syndrome,

Chronic constipation,

Leaky gut syndrome,

You know,

More serious Crohn's and colitis.

If we're not managing burnout,

It can lead to these gut issues.

Our microbiome,

Our brain-gut connection is influenced by our stress levels.

Skin conditions,

Eczema,

Psoriasis,

Rashes,

Hives,

Lots of skin problems can happen when we've got inflammation in the body.

And then more seriously,

Over time,

If we're not managing burnout,

We can develop plaque in our arteries,

Which leads to potentially coronary heart disease,

One of the leading causes of all-cause mortality in the world,

Heart disease.

So really thinking about,

You know,

Burnout is not just psychological.

And I mean,

I could go through more and more hours of the body imprint,

But the takeaway here is like,

If we're not paying attention,

If we don't collectively think about,

Hey,

We got to really pay attention here,

This could lead to,

You know,

Very serious physical concerns.

And some of you might actually have some of these right now,

Too.

So that is what I want to say about the physiology.

I'm just going to pop into the chat and see if there's any questions.

Yeah,

So someone talking about going into early menopause.

Yeah,

You know,

Thinking about our neuroendocrine system,

Which is where,

You know,

Sex hormones are regulated,

All these different things.

If we are,

There is a link between heightened levels of chronic stress and burnout and early menopause.

Absolutely.

Yeah,

So Becca,

Hypo means underactive.

Hyper means overactive.

Think of hypothyroid and hyperthyroid,

For example.

Hypo means in the absence of.

So hypo cortisolism is like low to no,

Like your cortisol function isn't working.

Yes,

Holly,

Autoimmune disorders.

Absolutely.

Absolutely.

I work with clients that have actually been through they believe their burnout has manifested autoimmune disorders,

Like their body just started attacking themselves.

So,

Yeah,

It's interesting.

So in terms of recovery for burnout,

I hate to say it,

But I always want to be real.

Burnout doesn't fix itself after one relaxing weekend at all.

OK,

It's not going to take one weekend at a minimum.

At a minimum,

Burnout recovery will take at a minimum six months,

Most likely multiple years.

And that's,

You know,

Really thinking about life doesn't stop.

So the hopeful message in this is that there is an abundance of research showing that when we actively manage our burnout,

We can reverse the changes that happen to the brain regions that I talked about,

But it doesn't fix itself after going away for one relaxing weekend.

So some strategies to manage burnout.

So first thing I want you to recognize is where do you have a sense of agency in your life and really challenging the beliefs and thoughts that you're telling yourself that you don't have time or so many people need me that I can't possibly focus on this right now.

We really have to get curious about what we're telling ourselves about our capacity to be able to manage our burnout.

And some people will have a harder time and less sense of agency based on different factors.

Refrain your relationship with doing towards being.

So we are human beings after all,

Not human doings.

And like I said at the beginning,

Small incremental steps are crucial.

We often put pressure on ourselves to take these giant leaps and bounds,

Which can actually have a reverse effect when we're healing from burnout.

And so these small incremental steps,

Taking more sips of water,

One more sip,

One more breath,

One more intentional breath than before.

We have to work with the psychological thought that small is insignificant and reframe it because the only way to move through burnout is to start valuing the small incremental steps.

So there's four things that I want to share with you to start the recovery process.

One,

Boundaries,

Boundaries,

Boundaries,

Boundaries.

Here's the question to ponder to write in your journal.

What are you saying yes to that your body is intuitively saying no to?

What are you saying yes to that your body intuitively is saying no to?

Because your body will tell you whether the decision is a yes or a no.

If setting boundaries are difficult for you,

I have two hands way up there,

Setting boundaries is very difficult,

It's so important to get to the root of why that is.

Is it based on past conditioning?

A lot of us in our lives and family dynamics received attention and love by not having appropriate boundaries.

Not everyone,

But just think about was this true for you?

Boundaries can be linked to feelings of guilt or shame.

Maybe something happened in your life or you have a significant loss that you're going through and there's feelings of guilt that maybe you didn't do enough or there's shame around what happened and so you don't think you're worthy of having boundaries.

It's so critical,

The number one thing that I would say in terms of your recovery process with burnout is understanding your relationship to setting boundaries.

What is driving your need to continually do more and hustle and not pay attention to the burnout?

And usually it's linked to past conditioning or unhealthy beliefs about yourself.

There's a lot of mentors,

I'm one of them on Insight Timer,

I'm happy to work with anybody who's struggling with boundaries if that's something you want to work through.

Boundaries are key.

Number two,

Second most important is examining your relationship with rest.

I'm not talking about sleep at this point,

I'm talking about rest and honestly,

We've got to get honest with what is our relationship with rest.

Most of us think that rest has to be earned after we do or complete something.

We collectively as a society do not know how to rest.

We live in this hustle culture and it's eroding,

It's literally eating away at our insides,

Like literally.

Rest does not have to be earned,

It's available to you in this moment.

So the question I want to ask you is,

What makes you feel the most like yourself?

When I say rest,

I'm not talking about necessarily lying down and sleeping,

That might be what you need.

Rest is doing the things that make you come to life and get you in touch with the essence of who you are.

So for me,

Rest looks like being in nature.

Number three,

Sleep.

What is the quality of your sleep hygiene?

One of the biggest disruptors to our sleep hygiene is this device,

Our phones and our access to news and social media.

There's also like the blue light coming from our devices that has been shown to affect our circadian rhythms and our ability to actually,

I forget the term off the top of my head,

Like we have melatonin that really helps us,

It increases when there's darkness and we are able to sleep more soundly.

If we're on our devices really late into the night,

It's disrupting that chemical balance in our body.

So what is the quality of your sleep hygiene?

And really think about how might you create even just a fraction,

Small incremental steps,

You're not expected to go to bed at 9 a.

M.

Or 9 p.

M.

Every single night,

Forever more right now.

But what are the conditions that you can shift ever so slightly to improve the hygiene of your sleep?

And then finally,

Fourth one,

Nutrition.

I'm not a dietician,

I'm not a nutritionist,

I highly recommend seeking out information from a qualified dietician,

But asking yourself how are you fueling your body?

When we are burnt out,

When we are exhausted,

We usually seek things to give us a quick fix to give us energy.

So energy drinks,

Caffeine,

Sugar,

Cravings,

Alcohol,

Substances,

All these things to help us manage moment to moment,

But really thinking about how is that fueling my body?

Is it giving me the fuel that is actually going to serve recovery?

Or is it just a short term quick fix?

And it's really important,

You know,

What might you supplement with?

What are some healthy supplements?

Maybe you're depleted in certain vitamins,

Minerals in your body,

You know,

Everyone's a little bit different,

But there's supplements that might be able to help and adaptogens that we might be able to use.

But I highly recommend speaking to somebody that knows your unique makeup and your body system to get more precise information on that.

So to summarize,

Four steps to recovery.

Boundaries number one,

Number one,

Boundaries,

Two,

Examining your relationship with rest,

Three,

Creating conditions of sleep hygiene,

And four,

Fueling your body in the right way.

So boundaries,

Rest,

Sleep,

Nutrition.

Those are the four takeaways.

So it's 512 p.

M.

Eastern Standard Time.

I know I went a little bit over,

So thank you for those that are staying here.

And thank you so much for just being open to this conversation.

I want to leave some room for your questions.

Is the expression of creativity what you consider rest?

Yes,

That's one of the aspects that I absolutely would consider rest.

Because creativity gets put offline or deactivated when we're burnt out,

Finding moments of creative outlets is so important.

But I caution people because sometimes expressions of creativity,

We can put pressure on ourselves to get back to if we were painters or story writers or singers,

We put pressure on ourselves to do it the way that we did it previously.

And so we couple that with the small incremental steps that I really want to hit home with,

Like small little moments,

Really bite sized pockets of creativity.

So breaking it down.

Yes,

Creativity without perfection.

Absolutely.

Awesome.

I feel I can't access my creativity easily.

How can I start to access it?

Really great question Tia.

And again,

I would say maybe it's not starting there.

Maybe it's starting with something that feels a little bit more doable right now,

Or maybe something that's more priority for you.

So not putting pressure on ourselves to have to have it look a certain way,

But maybe boundaries is what you need to set right now to carve out more time.

Or,

You know,

Getting down to the like for me getting down to a body of water.

That's not my creative outlet.

But when I give myself time to do those things,

Then the creativity comes a little bit later.

So if you're feeling like you can't access it,

You know,

The biggest thing I'll say is don't force it.

Once we start forcing something,

We're actually getting just doing the same cycle of burnout.

So start to switch it up,

You know,

Dance it out,

Drink more water,

Like start with something a little bit different,

And start to establish patterns of giving yourself permission to create space in your life.

One of the things for me that just came to mind is like when I start making my bed,

And I start cleaning up my space,

All of a sudden,

More creative things start to flow.

I can't force creativity if I have a completely chaotic environment.

And so sometimes I have to take a step back and really get back to the basics first.

Basics for me is like,

Let's make my bed.

I'm on the other side of burnout,

Any keys to post-traumatic growth?

Beautiful question,

Paulette.

So post-traumatic growth is often something that doesn't get talked about a lot,

Yet I see it in 100% of the clients I work with.

In terms of post-traumatic growth,

So typically post-traumatic growth refers to very generically as increased integration of life purpose and life meaning,

Deeper understanding of the human experience,

Integrating traumatic events as a way to serve and support other people in an empowering way.

So in terms of,

Again,

I feel like tapping into post-traumatic growth has an authenticity component and what I mean by that is to force the lesson or to force the silver lining or to force naming how you've grown doesn't equate to post-traumatic growth.

I think it has to emerge authentically.

I'm a really big believer in authentic growth.

So one of the things,

I went through a tornado last year,

I lost my home,

A lot of people ask,

What have you learned from that?

And I'm still in the space of,

I'm in the middle.

I don't have the big silver lining or the here's the life lesson,

And I think naming that is actually the post-traumatic growth as opposed to like,

I'm going to impart this big life lesson that I've learned that might never come.

I'm in the messy middle of that was just really hard and that sucked.

And I think that that's the post-traumatic growth is being able to sit in the messy middle of that and not resist it and think that,

Well,

I have to have a big positive,

Optimistic life lesson.

I hope that makes sense.

This idea of like,

Can you sit with the discomfort a little bit more?

To me,

That's post-traumatic growth.

I don't know.

The liminal space,

Yeah.

And that's just my opinion.

That's where I'm at right now.

I'm a big proponent of the messy middle and the liminal space.

I find the people,

The healers,

The practitioners that I connect with are the ones that are also in the liminal space right now.

It's just like,

Tell me how you navigate being okay with not being okay and knowing that it's not linked to my identity.

I'm still enough in this moment and that's,

I don't believe that all the time,

But it's like a practice.

Like I'm practicing that.

Yeah.

I'm right there with you.

Anyone who feels in that messy middle,

I'm right there with you.

So thank you so much.

Thank you for your time today.

I see you.

I honor you and really wish you continued success with setting boundaries,

Rest,

Sleep and nutrition.

We'll talk to you soon.

Reviews

Really well thought through session - human and science informed

Wonderful talk! Everything resonated. Thank you ✨️☀️

Thank you so much 🙏🏼❤️ I honour your generosity of heart for kindly making these talks freely available to all 🙏🏼

This was such an important discussion for these times in particular and really resonated with me. Thank you for this offering and your sharing from your own liminal space. 🙏🏼