Welcome,
I'm so glad you're here.
We're going to take a few minutes now to practice holding on to yourself,
To your clarity,
To your wisdom and your inner peace,
Just as you'd like to the next time you're involved in a difficult interaction with someone you love.
In this meditation,
The way we're going to do this is to practice being mindful of emotions during conflict.
By practicing here in this quiet moment,
You'll be more able to do this when tension arises in a precious relationship.
The goal is not to be able to do it as well as you'll be able to here with me in this guided meditation.
Even when you can shift your intention just a little during fights and arguments so that your intention is to be with your emotion rather than to try to make something happen during the conflict.
This is an immense step towards healing conflict in your life,
Towards softening the effect that difficult interactions have on your relationship and the effect that fights and arguments have on you in your life.
And on the rest of your day.
When you can hold uncomfortable emotion in the gentle embrace of your attention,
The emotion is less likely to trigger you to behave in ways that you'd rather not.
You'll have more ability to choose your response,
To choose how you want to handle the difficult interaction according to your wishes and your values.
Now I'm going to lead you through a practice of being with emotions that come up in intense interactions.
And the way we're going to do that is by bringing gentle curiosity to the sensations of emotion in the body.
Take a comfortable position,
Perhaps putting your feet on the floor,
Your arms comfortably at your sides.
Notice that your body is supported right now.
You're supported by the furniture that you're sitting or lying on.
You're supported by the floor,
By the building,
By the earth.
The earth is supporting you now.
So that you can prepare yourself to bring your best self to the most difficult moments of your precious relationships.
Now bring your attention to the breath.
In-breath and out-breath.
There's nothing you have to do to the breath.
There's no need to change the pace of the breath or its depth.
Simply noticing the sensations that accompany the breath now and at every moment.
With every out-breath,
Allow the body to sink a little deeper into the support of the chair or whatever it is that's supporting you right now,
Including the earth itself.
And now from this relaxed state,
We're going to proceed as if you're in a difficult interaction.
If you wish,
You can picture yourself in a room or a place where conflict often takes place with a loved one.
If you like,
You can picture yourself standing or sitting near this person as you often do.
Imagine them speaking words that are difficult for you.
Or imagine this other person not hearing you the way you wish to be heard.
Or speaking of a subject that is difficult for you.
Notice any feelings that are coming up right this moment.
Notice the emotions,
The sensations in your body.
You may sense emotion sensations in the trunk area or the throat.
Or behind your eyes.
Ask yourself,
Where am I sensing emotion in my body in this moment?
And when you notice emotion sensation in the body,
Just bring gentle curiosity.
To the sensations,
To that part of your body with no need to change anything right now.
Now,
Imagine doing exactly this in the midst of a painful argument or heated conflict with a loved one.
That person who is important to you is saying something that's upsetting to you.
Or they're not hearing you the way you feel you need to be heard.
Or you're upset in response to the topic that's being discussed.
For whatever reason,
You're experiencing emotional pain and overwhelm during this interaction that you're imagining.
Simply notice the sensations of that pain or overwhelm just the way you did a moment ago.
You're going to bring a gentle curiosity while you ask yourself,
Where am I experiencing emotion in my body right now?
Bring your attention to whatever part of your body you identify as the place where emotion is present.
As if you're holding those emotion sensations in the embrace of your attention.
You may bring your attention to a sense of heat in the throat or behind the eyes or a tightness around the solar plexus.
Whatever sensations you find in the body,
There's no need to alter them in any way.
With an in-breath,
Imagine the soft breath flowing through that part of your body that is holding the emotion sensations at this moment.
Your soft breath moves right through those painful emotion sensations.
Lightly caressing the heat or the tightness.
The emotion sensations do whatever they do.
They stay the same.
Or they loosen and you are simply noticing.
And while the emotion sensation remains present to whatever degree it's there,
Connect again to the sensations of the body in the chair or supported by whatever piece of furniture you're on,
Supported by the floor,
By the building,
By the earth.
This is your practice.
The next time you're in a difficult interaction,
With someone who's important to you,
First,
Notice your body.
Then,
Notice the sensation of in-breath and out-breath.
Next,
Bring your awareness to the sensations of emotion that are occurring in your body at that moment.
With every in-breath,
Imagine the soft breath flowing through the emotion sensation of whatever tightness or discomfort is present for you in the moment.
And with every out-breath,
Allowing your body to sink in to the support of the furniture or the building or the entire earth.
In-breath,
Caressing the emotion sensation.
Out-breath,
Allowing your body to sink in to the support of the earth.
In-breath,
Holding the sensations of emotion wherever they are in your body in the embrace of your attention.
Out-breath,
Seeing what parts of your body you can allow to sink in to the support of the floor,
The building,
The earth.
Now,
As we come to the end of the meditation,
Here's a moment for you to send love and care to yourself as you'll be in that next painful contact.
And as you're in that next painful contact,
I want you to take a moment to think about what you would like to remember at that moment.
What would you like to remember at that moment?
What would you like to know about yourself,
About your goodness,
About your intention?
Take a moment now to send love,
Care,
And wisdom to yourself in that future moment when you need it most.
And now,
Opening your eyes slowly at the right time for you,
Come back to the present moment and the space that you're in.
Notice that right now everything's okay.
In this place,
In this moment,
Everything's okay.
And you can come back here as often as you need to.
Anytime you like,
You can come back to this moment where everything is okay.
I'm wishing you well on your journey and looking forward to being with you again whenever it's right for you.
