Just William: The Fall Of The Idol, Part One

Relax and drift off to sleep listening to Part One of another Just William story, written by Richmal Crompton. In the Fall of the Idol, our irrepressible hero develops his very first crush: on his lovely teacher, Miss Drew. Richmal Crompton used to be a school teacher herself, so as you can imagine, she knows this territory well!

Guitar music by William King.

Transcript

Hello,

It's Mandy here.

Welcome to another story about William by Richmald Crompton and tonight's story is called The Fall of the Idol and I'll be reading you part one.

So before I begin,

Please go right on ahead and make yourself really comfortable whether you're sitting or lying.

Okay,

Then I'll begin.

The Fall of the Idol.

William was bored.

He sat at his desk in the sunny school room and gazed dispassionately at a row of figures on the blackboard.

It isn't sense,

He murmured scornfully.

Miss Drew was also bored,

But unlike William,

She tried to hide that fact.

If the interest on a hundred pounds for one year is five pounds,

She said wearily,

Then William Brown do sit up and don't look so stupid.

William changed his position from that of lolling over one side of his desk to that of lolling over the other and began to justify himself.

Well,

I can't understand any of it.

It's enough to make anyone look stupid when he can't understand any of it.

I can't think why people go on giving people bits of money for giving them lots of money and go on and on doing it.

It doesn't seem sense.

Anyone's a mug for giving anyone a hundred pounds just because he says he'll go on giving him five pounds and go on sticking to his hundred pounds.

How's he to know he will?

Well,

He warmed to the subject.

What's to stop him not giving any five pounds once he's got hold of the hundred pounds and going on sticking to the hundred pounds?

Miss Drew checked him by a slim,

Upraised hand.

William,

She said patiently,

Just listen to me.

Now suppose her eyes roved around the room and settled on a small red-haired boy.

Suppose that Eric wanted a hundred pounds for something and you lent it to him.

I wouldn't lend Eric a hundred pounds,

Said William firmly,

Because I haven't got it.

I've only got three and a half pence and I won't lend that to Eric because I'm not such a mug because I lent him my mouth organ once and he bit a bit off and Miss Drew interrupted sharply.

Teaching on a hot afternoon is rather trying.

You'd better stay in after school William and I'll explain.

William scowled,

Emitted his monosyllable of scornful disdain and relapsed into gloom.

He brightened,

However,

On remembering a lizard he had caught on the way to school and drew it from its hiding place in his pocket.

But the lizard had abandoned the unequal struggle for existence among the stones,

Top,

Penknife,

Bits of putty and other small objects that inhabited William's pocket.

The housing problem had been too much for it.

William,

In disgust,

Shrouded the remains in blotting paper and disposed of it in his neighbour's ink pot.

The neighbour protested and an enlivening scrimmage ensued.

Finally,

The lizard was dropped down the neck of an inveterate enemy of William's in the next row and was extracted only with the help of obliging friends.

Threats of vengeance followed,

Couched in blood-curdling terms and written on blotting paper.

Meanwhile,

Miss Drew explained simple practice to a small but earnest coterie of admirers in the front row.

And William,

In the back row,

Wiled away the hours for which his father paid the education authorities a substantial sum.

But his turn was to come.

At the end of afternoon school,

One by one,

The class departed,

Leaving William only nonchalantly chewing an India rubber and glaring at Miss Drew.

Now,

William.

.

.

Miss Drew was severely patient.

William went up to the platform and stood by her desk.

You see,

If someone borrows a hundred pounds from someone else,

She wrote down the figures on a piece of paper,

Bending low over her desk.

The sun poured in through the window and showed the little golden curls in the nape of her neck.

She lifted to William eyes that were stern and frowning,

But blue as blue above flushed cheeks.

Don't you see,

William,

She said.

There was a faint perfume about her,

And William,

The devil-may-care pirate and robber chief,

The stern despiser of all things effeminate,

Felt the first dart of the malicious blind god.

He blushed and simpered.

Yes,

I see all about it now,

He assured her.

You've explained it all plain now.

I couldn't understand it before.

It's a bit soft,

Isn't it,

Anyway,

To go lending hundred pounds about just because someone says they'll give you five pounds next year.

Some folks is mugs,

But I do understand now.

I couldn't understand it before.

You'd have found it simpler if you hadn't played with dead lizards all the time,

She said wearily,

Closing her books.

William gasped.

He went home,

Her devoted slave.

Certain members of the class always deposited dainty bouquets on her desk in the morning.

William was determined to outshine the rest.

He went into the garden with a large basket and a pair of scissors the next morning before he set out for school.

It happened that no one was about.

He went first to the hothouse.

It was a riot of colour.

He worked there with a thoroughness and a concentration worthy of a nobler cause.

He came out staggering beneath a piled up basket of hothouse blooms.

The hothouse itself was left bare and desolate.

Hearing a sound in the back garden,

He hastily decided to delay no longer,

But to set out to school at once.

He set out as unostentatiously as possible.

Miss Drew,

Entering her classroom,

Was aghast to see instead of the usual small array of buttonholes on her desk,

A mass of already withering hothouse flowers completely covering her desk and chair.

William was a boy who never did things by halves.

William blushed with pleasure.

He changed his seat to one in the front row.

All that morning he sat,

His eyes fixed on her earnestly,

Dreaming of moments in which he rescued her from robbers and pirates.

Here he was somewhat inconsistent with his own favourite role of robber chief and pirate,

And bore her fainting in his strong arms to safety.

Then she clung to him in love and gratitude,

And they were married at once.

William would have no half measures.

They were to be married by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York,

Or else the Pope.

He would have no half measures.

William would have no half measures.

They were to be married by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York,

Or else the Pope.

He was sure that he wouldn't rather have the Pope.

He would wear his black pirate suit with the skull and crossbones.

No,

That wouldn't do.

What have I just been saying,

William?

Said Miss Drew.

William coughed and gazed at her soulfully.

About lending money,

He said hopefully.

William,

She snapped.

This isn't an arithmetic lesson.

I'm trying to teach you about the Armada.

Oh,

That,

Said William,

Brightly and ingratiatingly.

Oh,

Yes.

Tell me something about it.

I don't know anything.

Not just yet.

I've been telling you about it.

I do wish you'd listen,

She said despairingly.

William relapsed into silence,

Nonplussed,

But by no means cowed.

When he reached home that evening,

He found the garden was the scene of excitement and hubbub.

One policeman was measuring the panes of glass in the conservatory roof,

And another was on his knees examining the beds nearby.

His grown-up sister,

Ethel,

Was standing at the front door.

Every single flower has been stolen from the conservatory sometime this morning,

She said excitedly.

We've only just been able to get the police.

William,

Did you see anyone about when you went to school this morning?

William pondered deeply.

His most guileless and innocent expression came to his face.

No,

He said at last.

No,

Ethel,

I didn't see nobody.

He coughed and discreetly withdrew.

That evening,

He settled down at the library table,

Spreading out his books around him,

A determined frown on his small face.

His father was sitting in an armchair by the window,

Reading the evening paper.

Father,

Said William suddenly,

Suppose I came to you and said you was to give me £100 and I'd give you £5 next year and so on,

Would you give it me?

I should not,

My son,

Said his father firmly.

William sighed.

I knew there was something wrong with it,

He said.

Mr Brown returned to the leading article,

But not for long.

Father,

What was the date of the Armada?

Good heavens,

How should I know?

I wasn't there.

William sighed.

Well,

I'm trying to write about it and why it failed and why did it fail?

Mr Brown groaned,

Gathered up his paper and retired to the dining room.

He had almost finished the leading article when William appeared,

His arms full of books and sat down quietly at the table.

Father,

What's the French for my aunt is walking in the garden?

What on earth are you doing,

Said Mr Brown irritably.

I'm doing my home lessons,

Said William virtuously.

I never even knew you had the things to do.

No,

William admitted gently.

I don't generally take much bother over them,

But I'm going to now,

Because Miss Drew,

He blushed slightly and paused,

Because Miss Drew,

He blushed more deeply and began to stammer,

Because Miss Drew,

He was almost apoplectic.

Mr Brown quietly gathered up his paper and crept out to the veranda where his wife sat with the weeks mending.

William's gone raving mad in the dining room,

He said pleasantly as he sat down.

Takes the form of a wild thirst for knowledge and a babbling of a misdrawing or drew or something.

He's best left alone.

Mrs Brown merely smiled placidly over the mending.

Mr Brown had finished one leading article and begun another before William appeared again.

He stood in the doorway frowning and stern.

Father,

What's the capital of Holland?

Good heavens,

Said his father.

Buy him an encyclopedia,

Anything,

Anything.

What does he think I am?

I'd better set apart a special room for his homework,

Said Mrs Brown soothingly,

Now that he's beginning to take such an interest.

A room,

Echoed his father bitterly,

He wants a whole house.

Miss Drew was surprised and touched by William's earnestness and attention the next day.

At the end of the afternoon school,

He kindly offered to carry her books home for her.

He waved aside all protests.

He marched home by her side,

Discoursing pleasantly,

His small freckled face beaming devotion.

I like pirates,

Don't you Miss Drew?

And robbers and things like that.

Miss Drew,

Would you like to be married to a robber?

He was trying to reconcile his old beloved dream of his future estate with the new one of becoming Miss Drew's husband.

No,

She said firmly.

His heart sank.

Nor a pirate,

He said sadly.

No.

They're quite nice really,

Pirates,

He assured her.

I think not.

Well,

He said resignedly,

We'll just have to go hunting wild animals and things.

That'll be all right.

Who,

She said,

Bewildered.

Well,

Just you wait,

He said darkly.

Then,

Would you rather be married by the Archbishop of York or the Pope?

The Archbishop,

I think,

She said gravely.

He nodded,

All right.

She was distinctly amused.

To be continued.

Reviews

Just hilarious 😆 I loved William when I was at school and also Jennings do you remember Jennings and Derbyshire ? That would be a wonderful bedtime story especially for winter nights. I really enjoy listening to your stories.

His madness “takes the form of a wild thirst for knowledge”! Ha ha!! So delightful. I’m listening to these stories with the light on to decompress before going to sleep. I don’t want to miss any of William’s antics. Thank you Mandy for introducing us to these stories.

Sweet boy that William but with the just the right amount of spice! I like the background music; adds some dimension and texture. Thanks for reading Mandy 🙏🏻

Very, very sweet and true of many young boys who tenderly love their teacher ❤️

Dear Mandy, I so appreciate your readings, voice inflections, and amused pauses. Thank you. Sending good wishes 🌻