Hello there,
It's Mandy here.
Welcome back to Diary of a Provincial Lady by E.
M.
Delafield.
So back briefly to Edmé's time in the French convent,
She recounts being told by the Superior that if a doctor advised a surgical operation,
And I quote,
Your superiors will decide whether your life is of sufficient value to the community to justify the expense.
If it is not,
You will either get better without the operation or die.
In either case,
You will be doing the will of God and nothing else matters.
Perhaps not surprisingly,
Delafield finally left the convent.
So we've reached chapter 12,
And before I go ahead,
Please feel free to make yourself really comfortable.
Settle down into your chair or into your bed.
Relax your hands.
Drop your shoulders.
And loosen your jaw.
That's great.
So if you're ready,
Then I shall begin.
February the 28th.
Notice,
And I'm gratified by,
Appearance of large clump of crocuses near the front gate.
Should like to make whimsical and charming reference to these,
And try to fancy myself as Elizabeth of the German Garden.
But I'm interrupted by Cook,
Saying that the fish is here,
But he's only bought cod and haddock,
And the haddock doesn't smell any too fresh,
So what about cod?
Have noticed that life is often like that.
March the 1st.
The Kellaways lunch with us,
Before going on altogether to wedding of Rosemary H.
,
Daughter of mutual friend and neighbour.
Fire refuses to burn up,
And I'm still struggling with it when they arrive,
With small boy,
Vickie's contemporary,
All three frozen with cold.
I say,
Do come and get warm,
And they accept this,
Alas,
Meaningless offer with enthusiasm.
Vickie rushes in,
And I'm struck,
As usual,
By the complete and utter straightness of her hair,
In comparison with that of practically every other child in the world.
Little Kellaway has a natural wave.
Chickens overdone,
And potatoes underdone.
Meringue's quite a success,
Especially with the children,
Though leading to brisk sotto voce encounter between Vickie and Mademoiselle on question of second helping.
This ends by an appeal from Mademoiselle for un bon mouvement on Vickie's part,
Which she facilitates by summarily removing her plate,
Spoon and fork.
Everybody ignores this drama,
With the exception of the infant Kellaway,
Who looks amused and unblenchingly attacks a second meringue.
Start directly after lunch,
Robert and Mary's husband appearing in a highly unnatural state of shiny smartness,
With a top hat apiece.
Effects of this splendour greatly mitigated when they don the top hats by screams of unaffected amusement from both children.
We drive off,
Leaving them leaning against Mademoiselle,
Apparently helpless with mirth.
Queery is not the inferiority complex about which so much is written and spoken,
Nowadays shifting from the child to the parent.
Mary wears blue with admirable diamond ornament and looks nice.
I wear red and think regretfully of Great Aunt's diamond ring,
Still reposing in Backstreet of Plymouth,
Under care of old friend,
The pawnbroker.
Note,
Financial situation very low indeed,
And must positively take steps to send assortment of old clothes to second-hand dealer for disposal.
I'm struck by false air of opulence,
With which I don fur coat,
White gloves and new shoes,
One very painful,
And get into the car.
Irony of life,
Thus exemplified.
Charming wedding.
Rosemary H.
Looks lovely,
Bridesmaids highly picturesque.
One of them has bright red hair,
And I'm completely paralysed by devastating enquiry from Mary's husband,
Who hisses at me through his teeth,
Is that the colour yours was when you dyed it?
Crowds of people at the reception know most of them,
But I'm startled by strange lady in pink,
Wearing eyeglasses,
Who says that I don't remember her,
Which is only too true,
But that she has played tennis at my house.
How,
She says,
Are those sweet twins!
Find myself telling her that they are very well indeed,
Before I know where I am.
Can only trust never to set eyes on her again.
Exchange talk with Mrs.
Summers,
Recent arrival to the neighbourhood,
Who apologises profusely for never having returned my call.
I'm in doubt whether to say that I haven't noticed the omission,
Or that I hope she will repair it as quickly as possible.
Either sounds uncivil.
Speak to old lady Dufford,
Who reminds me that the last time we met was at the Jones wedding.
That,
She says,
Came to grief within a year.
She also asks if I have heard about the Greens who have separated,
And poor Winifred R,
Who has had to go back to her parents because he drinks.
I'm not surprised when she concludes with observation that it is rather heart-rending to see the two young things setting out together.
Large car,
Belonging to bridegroom,
Jaws up at hall door,
And old lady D further wags her head at me and says,
Ah,
In our day it would have been a carriage and pair,
To which I offer no assent,
Thinking it very unnecessary reminder of the flight of time,
And in any event,
I'm lady D's junior by a good many years.
Melancholy engendered by the whole of this conversation is lightened by a glass of champagne.
I ask Robert,
Sentimentally,
If this makes him think of our wedding.
He looks surprised and says,
No,
Not particularly.
Why should it?
As I cannot at the moment think of any particular reply to this,
The question drops.
Departure of the bridal couple is followed by general exodus,
And we take the Calloway's home to tea.
Remove shoes with great thankfulness.
March the 3rd.
Vicki,
After Halmer,
Inquires abruptly whether,
If she died,
I should cry.
I reply in the affirmative,
But she says,
Should I cry really hard?
Should I roar and scream?
Decline to commit myself to any such extravagant demonstrations,
At which Vicki displays a tendency to hurt astonishment.
I speak to mademoiselle and say,
I hope she will discourage anything in Vicki that seems to verge upon the morbid.
Mademoiselle requires a translation of the last word,
And after some consideration,
I suggest des natures,
At which she screams dramatically and crosses herself and assures me that if I knew what I was saying,
I should jump back in fright.
We decide to abandon the subject.
Our vicar's wife calls for me at seven o'clock,
And we go to a neighbouring women's institute,
At which I have,
Rather rashly,
Promised to speak.
On the way there,
Our vicar's wife tells me that the secretary of the institute is liable to have a heart attack at any minute,
And must on no account exert herself or be allowed to get overexcited.
Even a violent fit of laughing,
She adds impressively,
Might carry her off in a moment.
Hastily revise my speech and remove from it two funny stories.
After this,
It's a shock to find that the programme for the evening includes dancing and a game of general post.
I ask our vicar's wife what would happen if the secretary did get a heart attack,
And she replies mysteriously,
Oh she always carries drops in her handbag.
The thing to do is to keep an eye on her handbag.
This I do nervously throughout the evening,
But fortunately no crisis supervenes.
I speak,
Am thanked,
And asked if I will judge a darling competition.
This I do,
In spite of inward misgivings that few people are less qualified to give any opinion about darling than I am.
I am thanked again,
And given tea and a doughnut.
We all play general post and get very heated.
Signal success of the evening when two stout and elderly members collide in the middle of the room and both fall heavily to the floor together.
This,
If anything,
Will surely bring on a heart attack and I'm prepared to make a rush at the handbag,
But nothing happens.
We all sing the national anthem and our vicar's wife says she does hope the lights of her two-seater are in order,
And drives me home.
We are relieved and surprised to find that the lights,
All except the rear one,
Are in order,
Although rather faint.
I beg our vicar's wife to come in.
She says no,
No,
It is far too late really,
And comes in.
Robert and Helen Wills both asleep in the drawing room.
Our vicar's wife says she must not stay a moment,
And we talk about country women,
Stanley Baldwin,
Hotels at Madeira,
Where none of us have ever been,
And other unrelated topics.
Ethel brings in cocoa,
But can tell from the way she puts down the tray that she thinks it's an unreasonable requirement,
And will quite likely give notice tomorrow.
At 11,
Our vicar's wife says that she does hope the lights of the two-seater are still in order,
And gets as far as the hall door.
There we talk about forthcoming village concert,
Parrot disease,
And the bishop of the diocese.
Her car refuses to start.
Robert and I push it down the drive.
After a good deal of jerking and grinding,
Engine starts.
The hand of our vicar's wife waves at us through the hole in the tulk,
And the car disappears down the lane.
Robert inhospitably says,
Let us put out the lights,
And fasten the hall door,
And go to bed immediately,
In case she comes back for anything.
We do so,
Only delayed by Helen Wills,
Whom Robert tries vainly to expel into the night.
She retires under the piano,
Behind the bookcase,
And finally disappears altogether.
March the 4th.
Ethel,
As I anticipated,
Gives notice.
Cook says this is so unsettling,
She thinks she had better go too.
Despair invades me.
Write five letters to registry offices.
March the 7th.
No hope.
To be continued.
