Welcome.
This is a meditation for when your inner child needs love.
Sometimes when I speak about the inner child,
It can be difficult to connect with that,
As we often find ourselves all but innocent,
Playful,
Boisterous children.
So instead of pushing this topic away as a whole,
I'd like to challenge you today to listen to the behavior,
And ask yourself honestly if you ever find yourself here in relationships.
You see the version of you from your childhood that felt scared,
Confused,
Unlovable.
Now this doesn't mean that you had abusive parents or a dangerous situation growing up.
As a child,
A loud noise is scary.
And so even if only for a moment,
There were things that caused our heart's pain.
Things that made us feel like we weren't unconditionally loved.
There was a stipulation there.
We have to behave well.
We have to get good grades.
We have to stay quiet,
And not cry,
Or express ourselves,
Or whatever it is for you.
Anything at all that may have caused you to feel that maybe thinking about what that might be for you.
If we're not careful,
We can sometimes treat that little one inside the same way that we were treated.
When we do this in order to avoid that hurt from happening again,
We try to protect ourselves from feeling that way by telling ourselves,
Just shut up.
Don't act out.
Blend in.
And then we can avoid that erratic behavior.
So it's not unexpected.
It hurts less.
And so we begin to punish ourselves and become so hard on ourselves.
We hold ourselves to these unrealistically high standards and degrade ourselves even internally when we get it wrong.
And if we aren't well aware of this happening,
We stay in that loop and we may hold on to resentment to our parents or whomever to cause this disconnect,
Even if they've apologized.
And we're still doing it to ourselves.
So here's the behavior.
Imagine when a small child falls down and scrapes their knee outside.
Now sometimes they'll look up and they'll look around and they point to the nearest person,
Right?
The child that can't speak maybe in full sentences yet,
Maybe three years old.
They're going to point to the person that was watching them.
Assuming wrongly sometimes that this aching and stinging sensation that's so new to this little child it must have been someone's malice.
We don't understand or conceptualize accidents or any of that.
We just feel pain and we blame someone and point our finger.
So as an adult,
Right,
When emotions and resentments aren't resolved,
They tend to come up again as other people and events trigger that wound.
In these moments,
Little you wants to point a finger at the closest thing to it at that moment,
Right?
My husband hurt me,
My boss hurt me,
The circumstance,
Look,
See,
It's clearly against me.
Can't you see?
And then hopefully our mother comes to soothe and protect us from the evil wretch that life can sometimes be.
Chances are these people around you that are triggering your pain,
They're not the ones who made that cut.
Rather,
You've tripped over your own fear in a conversation and it opened up that old gaping hole in your chest.
It's not their fault,
Little one.
They love you.
They love you.
And it's not your fault either.
Whoever caused you this stinging,
Lonely pain in you,
My love,
They made a mistake.
And you don't have to keep pushing everyone away in order to protect yourself.
So now,
Imagine that little child that fell and scraped their knee is you.
And you pick yourself up off the gravel and I want you to sit that child down and look into their eyes.
Look into their big beautiful eyes and wiping away those tears,
Feel this child's experience.
It's time to begin reparenting that little boy or girl.
It's time to be patient when they're feeling sad or scared or insecure or even when they don't understand their feelings and they just need to feel because they're a child.
You're a human and sometimes you just need to be allowed to feel.
So imagine that you just wrap your arms around yourself as this little boy or girl and just hold this precious,
Innocent little baby close and know that you're safe to feel.
Removing any shame that you may have laid over your heart.
And reclaiming your innocence.
In this moment here,
You are enough.
Say that your voice doesn't matter and reclaiming your childlike wonder and joy.
When did you lose that,
My love?
You're receiving a new energy of authenticity,
Embodying that boisterous and open-hearted version of you.
A healed inner child which gets to play the rest of their lives.
You are loved.
And starting to come back into the body,
Just taking some deep breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth.
You're gonna need a lot more time with this little baby but I hope that you carry her or him with you always wherever you go.
Blessings,
My friend.
