So if you have a blanket or a pillow or something behind you that you can rest your body on,
Notice that.
Sometimes it can be a little bit of an ongoing practice just to keep coming back in to this moment to what we're doing.
So as you're getting settled,
Notice your whole physical body and notice if you're comfortable and notice your breath.
And then notice the support that you have in front of you and behind you.
And let yourself kind of get into the rhythm of your breath,
Into the regulation of your body.
And then if you were to go back in time,
Let your mind wander backwards into the past.
For most of us,
There would be many,
Many times and examples and memories of when we were distressed about something and we used food or some other kind of behavior to soothe ourselves.
So what we're looking for is just something,
This representative,
Something that comes to mind.
It doesn't have to be the most horrible thing for sure.
A time when you felt alone and unsupported.
So it's the before the eating.
So it might be before in terms of the days and months leading up to it.
It might be before in terms of a few minutes before.
But see if you can connect with that feeling of,
I'm alone with this.
There's no one here to support me,
To help me understand,
To feel connected to.
And that's not our situation now as an adult.
We have other resources.
We have our adult self.
We have other people.
We have each other.
And in particular right now,
We have our adult self who is present and grounded and kind.
So feel your body,
Feel the warmth and the connection,
The softness,
Whatever your sensations are of the pillow that's in front of your body,
In front of your chest,
In front of your stomach area.
And notice how it feels as you breathe.
There's that movement of your body as you breathe and then the pressure onto the pillow.
Notice how you can maybe relax your arms onto the pillow.
Notice the texture.
If you have a soft blanket or pillow or something behind you,
Notice that as well so that you're comforted front and back.
And then this practice we do with our eyes open.
Open your eyes and just notice there's whatever is in your room,
Whatever is in your eyesight.
And there's this space that your body is in.
Your body is occupying this space.
It's a location.
And in the front of your body,
There's this comfort.
In the back of your body,
There's comfort.
And as you're sitting with this experience,
Let yourself settle on a time and really sense in to the feeling of yourself at that time.
One of the ways that we might do that is to think about or remember the circumstances.
Maybe you're alone in your room or you're being yelled at or whatever it might be for you.
And kind of bring that in and stay really connected in your body as you are.
What's your sense of your nervous system at that moment?
So that would be a memory maybe.
There might be some visuals.
What's your felt sense?
We're not really looking to talk with this younger self or to say things or hear things,
Although if that comes up,
Of course that's fine.
Just for now,
In kind of a wordless way,
Tune into your nervous system as it was then.
And as you're breathing,
Notice the support that you have in front and back that you feel supported,
Soothed.
You're not alone anymore.
Your adult self is here with you.
You have the softness of the pillows,
Blanket,
And you have your own attention.
You're not alone now.
Continue to be aware.
Let your attention rest in the space that your body is occupying.
If your mind starts going off somewhere,
See if you could bring it back just to really attune to the feeling in your body.
Notice what your thoughts have been like.
Do you remember what that felt like at that age to feel so alone?
You might have been crying.
Your feelings might have been hurt.
You might be angry.
You might feel stirred up in your body.
Let yourself be comforted.
You can see you're not in the past.
You're right here.
You could have your gaze soft or you could just be looking about,
Not taking in new information,
Just steadying your awareness right here in this moment with all the feeling of the pillows,
The softness.
Notice what you feel like in your body and what's happening in your nervous system.
If there might be some deeper breaths,
That'd be helpful.
Your eyes can be open so that you remember that you're here.
Your eyes can see that you're not back in a situation in the past.
Just being present with the nervous system of our younger self.
Feeling our breath,
Feeling the pillows,
The softness.
Notice if there's any edginess,
If there's any restlessness or I don't want to stay attuned to this anymore.
Is there any inclination to escape or to have some food or to do something else that you used to do to soothe yourself or maybe still do?
If you were to just be aware of the space that your body is occupying and noticing the sensations in that space,
Is there anything in your body that is saying,
I need to do this thing,
I need to have some food,
I'm upset,
I need this comfort?
Kind of on a non-verbal level and we'll work with thought in a minute.
Is there anything in your body that's craving some kind of comfort that's not here right now?
If there is,
Notice what it is.
Is it a sensation?
Just keep coming back,
Eyes open,
Noticing the feeling of the pillow,
The softness,
The support,
The feeling of being held front and back.
Notice your breath,
Your physical body.
We're attuning to the nervous system of ourself at that age through our adult self.
And notice the thoughts that are in your mind as well.
Notice the energy of the thoughts.
Is there anger,
Impatience?
This is stupid.
I need to have ice cream tonight.
Notice whatever might be here for thoughts,
If anything.
And then come back into that attunement with the nervous system of your younger self.
Into feeling the pillow sensations of being comforted front and back.
The attunement of your adult self to the nervous system of your younger self.
With your eyes open,
You're aware that you're here in this moment in time.
You're not back in the history.
And you're attuning to the nervous system of your younger self.
Feel the comfort of your presence that you're attuned.
The physical feeling of pillow in front,
Whatever's behind.
And in a minute,
We're going to finish this part of the inquiry.
Notice what came forward.
What was your experience?
Was it easy?
Was it difficult?
Was it up and down?
Sometimes you were connecting right in,
And other times you kind of lost track of it,
And you came back.
Kind of walk through it in your mind.
And attune to your nervous system right now in this moment.
What's happening in your nervous system now?
Notice your body,
Your breath.
And then when you're ready,
Finish the practice and open your eyes.
Come out of the inquiry.
