Open Hearted Grieving And Compassion

We naturally try to protect ourselves from intense uncomfortable feelings like grief. This gently guided practice brings us into our heart center and out into awareness of the space that is also here. We explore being with the nuances of the layers in our experiences. We can offer ourselves kindness and compassion as we relax our bodies and allow emotion to move in our hearts.

Transcript

Each day is so different,

And of course we also have the continuity of our days,

And we have what changes,

And we have our response to what's going on.

One thing that we can always count on and that we could always come back to is really being here for ourselves,

For being on our own side,

For living our life in a way that honors us.

As we look into boundaries,

It doesn't have to be an oppositional approach.

Part of what that could be is I need to create the space for me to really be me.

I also need to connect with other people in a way that is nourishing and nurturing.

Let's start with noticing what comes up for you when you hear that.

So one of the boundaries could be that we just put that one on the other side of the fence.

Say,

I'm not going to listen to you,

Especially if you're being critical and mean.

If you want me to know something,

Let's be kind.

As you're settling into your body and bringing your awareness in,

Notice what would help you to be more present with yourself just as you are right now.

And just as life is right now.

And feel that in your body.

I'm here.

I'm here for myself.

And I'm somewhere on the continuum,

The range of,

I don't want to let anything more in because it feels like it's too much,

To my arms and heart are wide open and I'm here without fear,

Without walls.

I'm here.

Bring your awareness to your heart center and to the muscles of your chest at the front and the upper back,

Down into your mid back area,

Between your shoulder blades and a little bit lower.

And we have the ribcage,

Which is another kind of protective barrier.

We have our heart and lungs on the inside of that protective barrier.

And we have that field of energy,

Our emotional heart,

Our physical heart,

As well as the heart chakra.

There's a lot going on in that area that's protected by the ribcage.

Sometimes we're open-hearted,

We're really open to be in the energy field of the heart with whatever it is that's here.

We might be bringing to mind times of great joy,

Of grief or loss,

Of difficulty or being overwhelmed,

Of difficulty or being closed,

Barriered against someone or some experience.

If you can,

To just let yourself be here in that energy of the heart area without barriers.

Sometimes we can go right into the energy,

But we can also put our awareness on the space,

On the outside of that energy.

We don't have to go right into the intensity if it feels like it's too much.

And as we're breathing,

We might notice the breath,

Our physical body.

And it might be exactly the right place to be right now,

To be aware of the space around the energy of the heart.

And notice other things like maybe the song of the birds outside or the movement of your body as you breathe.

And then we'll move in a little bit closer,

A little bit more tenderly,

Opening our hearts to what's here.

And we don't have a particular plan or a particular way that's the right way or the wrong way.

We can let go of all of that,

Organizing and protecting and trying to be open-hearted.

We could allow ourselves to have whatever experience we're having.

Sometimes we can open our chest and breathe in really deeply.

And as we breathe out,

We can let that ease,

Release it from our shoulders,

From our back,

From our heart.

I'm here with what is.

And sometimes I can take a very small breath.

Other times I can take a big,

Deep,

Nourishing,

Oxygen-filled in-breath,

Bringing the light,

The energy of that into my body,

Into my energy field.

And breathe out into the space around the heart center.

I can breathe out into the space,

That reciprocity of the in-breath and the out-breath.

The trees and the plants that are breathing out,

And we're breathing in their oxygen.

We nourish ourselves when we let ourselves breathe.

Sometimes we really focus in on the big picture.

Some things can be so big that they just take over our awareness.

That's all that we're really focusing on.

There's a lot of thoughts,

A lot of feelings.

And sometimes we can go into the nuances.

When we're grieving,

Something has changed.

We also have moments of really appreciating what it is that we've lost,

Who it is that we've lost.

And we have whatever experience that we're having with that.

Sometimes we're very boundaried.

We don't want to let this in.

It feels like it's too much.

And a thought will come in,

An emotion,

A warmth,

A light.

We remember a smile,

A look on their face,

A laugh.

A moment that we enjoyed,

That comes right in here as well.

We tend to have a habit of putting up barriers and boundaries and some rules for how we're going to work with what's changed.

It's a way to try to help us feel more in control.

And yet here comes this thought,

This memory.

We can surrender to that.

We can let it in.

And there's a flow.

It comes in and that's what's here for a moment.

And then we take a deep breath,

Perhaps.

Or we notice our shoulders have come back up around our ears,

So we can release them.

Our experience has a lot of nuance and specificity.

It's not one big thing.

It's many,

Many layers.

Sometimes our heart is wide open.

And other times we shift.

We flow into the open and then we shift back to the protected.

The ribcage,

The muscles and skin become a barrier.

We don't want to be there.

We could allow that flow.

We don't have to be on one end or the other.

We can acknowledge that we move in,

We move closer.

We don't actually control that.

An image of their smile comes to our mind.

We don't actually control that.

An image of their smile comes to our memory,

To our mind.

Or an image of an argument.

There's so many experiences that make up a relationship with ourselves,

With other people.

We can notice that this is something that we're experiencing.

Notice the whole of your back body,

The back of your head,

Your neck and shoulders,

Your upper back.

Notice if you could allow your body to be supported,

However it is that you're positioned.

Notice the back of your arms and hands.

If there's nothing that you need to do in this moment,

Maybe you could allow your arms and hands to be at ease,

At rest.

Notice the back of your hands,

The palms of your hands,

Sides of your neck and shoulders,

Down through your arms,

All the way down to your fingertips.

There's nothing that I can do.

There's nothing that I need to do.

My arms and hands could rest.

They might be resting at your side.

They might be resting on your heart center.

Notice the front of your heart area,

The back of your heart center.

Allow those muscles to soften.

You might move your breath.

Allow those muscles to soften.

You might move your body a little.

Take some deep breaths,

If that feels helpful,

And allow your whole back body to release and soften as you breathe out.

Notice the back of your arms and then down into the back of your legs.

Check to see if there's anything that you need to do in terms of moving around in the world.

And for the next several minutes,

As you're doing this practice,

Could you allow your legs to be at ease?

You might shake or stretch.

You might do a little tension release in your thighs.

As you release,

Let your legs be supported.

Let your legs be off-duty as well.

We could allow ourselves to rest.

All of your back body,

Back of your head,

Neck and shoulders,

Upper back,

Mid-back and behind the heart center,

Down through your lower back,

The back of your legs,

Your heels.

And the same in the front of your body,

The front of your face,

Forehead,

Eyebrows and eyes.

One of the ways we set up boundaries sometimes is that we avoid thinking about certain things.

We avoid letting certain memories in or thoughts in because it's too much.

And that's okay for a while,

For sure.

We don't always have to be open.

We could also be open to the world,

To our thoughts,

To our feelings.

We could also be resting or contained.

If your mind is in the past or if it's worrying about the future,

We could bring our awareness to that and let our mind rest for a moment.

There's nothing to figure out.

There's nothing to do.

Let your forehead soften,

Eyebrows,

Eyes,

Down through your mouth and jaw.

And soften through the tongue,

Your throat,

Your vocal cords.

If you're clenching your teeth,

Move your lower jaw around a little bit,

Soften up through the mouth and jaw.

And down through your throat and back into this very tender area in the heart.

Noticing again,

The container,

The ribcage,

The muscles.

We have a built-in protection in our heart and lungs.

And then we build these energetic protections as well.

And sometimes we go right into that open space of the heart.

We allow ourselves to rest in the heart.

There's physical sensations,

Energy.

Sometimes the energy is moving.

Sometimes it's still.

Often there are thoughts or memories.

Sometimes the mind is more still and we're tuning in more to the energy.

And we could let go of any aggression towards ourselves.

We don't need to have an open heart 100% of the time.

We could also step back.

Notice the space around our heart.

Focus for a moment on the body or the breath.

We notice how when we breathe out,

Our belly softens back towards the spine.

We also don't have to control the breath.

We can allow the body to breathe.

Let that softening happen as we're breathing out.

And then we have more ease with the inhalation.

Our muscles are able to expand and lengthen.

Try a few deep inhales,

Long,

Slow exhales.

Let your body be nourished by the breath.

And let the exhalation bring some ease.

Notice the front of your arms,

The front of your legs,

Your face,

Your chest,

Your belly.

Notice the whole of your body.

And whatever your experience is in this moment,

Notice that we're aware.

We're here.

Our mind is aware.

We're here.

Our mind might have been off to something else for most of the time.

And then we come back.

We have these moments where we dip right in again.

We're aware of the interior experience we're having.

We're aware of the container of our experience.

And there's so many elements to that.

Sometimes it's a barrier of a person who's harmful for us to be around.

Sometimes it's a barrier around inner critic thoughts or compulsive thinking.

Sometimes it's a releasing into this is here and I'm just going to feel for a bit.

I'm going to allow this to be whatever it is.

And whatever it is,

We could bring compassion.

You like it,

Put your hands on your heart.

Let your whole being be flooded with this kind compassion.

There's no right or wrong way.

We're just here.

Let yourself feel your own support,

Your own love and care.

And as we finish the practice,

Of course,

We know we could stay in the practice longer if we wanted.

Come out of the practice gradually.

Open your eyes,

Look around a bit.

When we spend time in this interior world,

Especially in the heart,

There's a lot going on there.

Concept of this moment in time is filled with a lot of other times.

That's part of what we're noticing now.

I hope whatever your day holds,

That you're able to hold yourself with kindness and to be open-hearted to yourself.

And then from there,

We move into the world.

Reviews

This was unexpectedly companionable and gentle support. I’m very grateful.