To give ourselves this opportunity to soften and relax and rest is such a blessing.
Oftentimes when we have a memory of something our body also remembers at the same time as we have the thought in our mind.
Everyone has their own experience with that but it's interesting to see how that works.
And oftentimes what we're really noticing are the times that are kind of harder.
Our body tenses up or we hold our breath.
Also when you bring to mind a positive memory the same process happens.
And any time we come into a mindfulness,
Somatic,
Body-based relaxation practice,
We notice things.
I mean that is what we're doing.
We're noticing.
We're being mindful.
When we bring in a memory that's positive we have a positive effect on the breath and inner body.
So bring to mind something now that's a positive memory.
It could be a person,
An experience,
A place.
And as you're doing that notice your whole body head to toes.
And there are many ways that we can experience positive memories.
We might feel a lot of sadness that that's not happening at the moment.
Or maybe the person that we were with is no longer with us and that experience is not going to happen again.
Sometimes positive memories can be bittersweet.
Or maybe we've had a breach in the relationship with them.
So the positive memory can be something that's not just happy.
We remember wonderful times that we had with people.
Or maybe we remember a certain place.
Thinking about how much I enjoyed renting a car when I went to California and traveling up the highway or down the highway between San Francisco and Los Angeles and from LA to San Diego.
Since COVID I haven't done that.
I don't know when I would do that again.
So my memories of that are maybe one or two percent.
I wish I could do that again because I'm actually quite happy where I am.
And yet if I was younger and maybe I hadn't had some of the experiences that I've had or if I was just in a different place or if I really loved to travel then I would maybe have more longing mixed in with that.
Notice what comes to mind when you think about people,
Places,
And experiences that you really enjoyed.
They're good memories.
Let yourself be aware of that in your mind,
In your thoughts,
In your body,
In your heart.
And then let that reflect on your face.
Bring your attention to your forehead and eyebrows,
Your eyes.
Even when we're remembering something happy we still might have some of that habitual tension in the forehead or the eyebrows.
Lighten up your face deliberately.
Let yourself feel that in your face.
It might be a bit of a smile on your lips.
Our neck and shoulders also generally relax when we're remembering something happy or when we're experiencing something that we're enjoying.
Notice what that feels like on your face when you let your forehead and eyes soften and relax.
Let your mouth smile.
And the kind of smile that we have on our face when we're remembering an experience or a person or a being,
A location,
Something that we love and enjoy is different than when we are experiencing the moment of meeting somebody that we love and that we want to be with.
So there's often a big smile on our face when we actually greet someone.
It's different than that kind of smile and joy we feel when we're laughing until our guts hurt.
There's all these different experiences of pleasure and joy and the remembrance of a joyful experience might have a quieter type of smile.
Notice what your experience is about this.
What is your face doing as you're remembering this?
And bring your attention out to your whole body as well.
Generally speaking,
If you were clenching your teeth,
You're probably not now.
Our jaw tends to loosen up and become less stressed or less clenched when we're remembering or experiencing something pleasurable.
We feel connected and safe.
Notice your neck and shoulders.
We can always give ourselves permission to move a little bit.
When we're not feeling connected or safe,
We often have some tension in our upper back and shoulders.
We brace ourselves.
And when we are feeling safe and connected,
It's easier to let that go.
Let your whole upper back,
Neck,
Shoulders,
Between the shoulder blades,
Muscles that cover the shoulder blades,
Let that whole area soften.
Coming back to your face,
What do those subtle muscles of the forehead and eyebrows and eyes,
What are they signaling right now?
If someone was to look at you in the mirror,
What would they see?
And from the interior,
What does it feel like?
And notice as well,
Is there a little bit of that smile on your lips as well as around your eyes?
Or has your mind taken you off into something else?
And now you could do a restart on that.
Let your whole face be soft,
Mouth,
Your jaw,
Neck and shoulders,
And down into your chest.
Notice your breath.
Notice your stomach and how your belly moves.
Notice the rhythm of your breath.
And also notice your arms and your legs,
Your hands and your feet.
Notice if there's a sense of settledness.
Is your body settled?
Is there a restlessness?
Even though we've been working with experiences,
Places,
Beings,
People that bring us joy or pleasure,
We're working with positive memories.
It might have still the history of our whole life in our body through our nervous system.
So just because we're remembering something and experiencing a memory that's positive doesn't mean that we won't have that history still in our body.
Notice what does your body feel like?
Is there a change when you consciously bring to mind the details of some memories that were really enjoyable?
Notice your whole body.
And come back to your face,
Forehead and eyebrows,
Corners of your mouth.
And then come back into your chest and into your heart center in particular.
We're aware of the whole body and at the same time really focusing in on your heart center.
What does this smile feel like in your heart center?
And we can rest with that.
Let your mind bring the experience to life with a lot of detail.
Very specific detail.
Notice the smile on your face from your forehead and eyebrows and eyes through your mouth and lips.
Notice your whole body.
And then rest in your heart center,
Experiencing it from there.
And notice the nuances of the experience.
Is there a longing?
A sadness or a grief mixed up with this?
And if so,
Is that a little bit here?
Is it taking over the experience?
What are the nuances of your relationship with this?
Some awareness of the breath can help steady us.
You might have many memories moving through like a collage,
Centering around maybe a particular person or group of people,
Particular place.
When I think of my grandchildren,
Many things just come to mind,
Different moments of enjoyment.
And there are other moments that come too.
Right now we're really focusing on experiences of joy,
Letting our body feel that,
Feeling it in our heart center,
Letting it show on our face.
And notice the mind.
The mind will wander off or get engaged in something else at times.
And then we could keep bringing it back.
We could follow it.
We might not notice we're following it for a bit and then we do and we come back.
One of the things about recalling pleasure and enjoyment and connection is that it's nuanced.
No experience is all one thing.
No relationship is all one thing.
And yet we have such capacity for connection,
For joy.
And we experience that when we come together to do these practices,
Especially if you're one of the many people who've been coming day after day for years.
We form a community and you might be relatively new to the community or it might even be your first time here today.
And some of our experiences here are more pleasurable than others.
Sometimes our mind is too distracted to really settle in.
Other times I might be doing an inquiry that's bringing up something that's a bit more difficult.
And this might be as well.
Sometimes when we bring up positive memories,
We really notice that we don't have many of them or our brain will bring in a bunch of nuance to it or some difficult things about it.
And as adults who are much more well-resourced than we were as children,
We have more capacity to stay with the truth of our experience.
Joy does not have to be like a Hallmark movie.
It can be real and it can be joy.
It doesn't have to be some standard of joy that we're not needing or some idea that we should have this perfect,
Unrippled life where nothing ever disturbs us.
We can hold the complexity of our experience,
Of other people's nervous systems,
Of our own nervous system,
Of our own difficult times.
And sometimes I just notice that there's a joy here that's not attached to any experience.
Let's rest in the heart center for a bit,
Noticing what's here.
Let your memories move to the background.
There's a simple joy in experiencing what's here,
Body,
Breath,
And mind.
