Grace When The World Isn't How We Want It

When life doesn’t unfold the way we expect, our nervous system can respond with tension, frustration, or overwhelm. This short reflection and practice offers a grounded way to notice what’s happening inside and soften the automatic resistance that can arise. Using examples from everyday life, the session explores how to shift perspective, relax the body, and connect with breath and compassion.

Practicing in this way supports nervous system regulation and helps bring more ease and kindness into daily moments, especially when circumstances are beyond our control. Practicing with smaller irritations helps us with bigger challenges.

Transcript

We have such unrealistic ideas about life sometimes. It's hard enough to have the situation and then we have our response to the situation as well. My meditation teacher would say in any situation you could focus on what there is to enjoy, What there is to suffer, Or what there is to enjoy. We make the situation a lot harder often because our nervous system goes into some kind of a survival response. We get into a catastrophic thinking perhaps or something. We get into resisting, Well I don't want it to be this way. I've had so many experiences of that and I still do sometimes of I don't want it to be the way it is. That is such a frustrating and futile resistance and it's also not something that we can just think away. It's something that happens in our bodies, It happens in our minds, Our hearts. It's an ongoing practice I find. Where I swim I love it so much there and it's a clean lake. It's a safe place to swim for the most part. There's not too many boats you know so it's fairly safe to swim. A lot of the children that are there, There's a dock out in the lake. They swim out to it and they jump off and if there's teenagers they push each other off but they're all shrieking. Children tend to shriek when they're having fun at the lake. I try to remind myself that they're having fun and that I'm not the boss of how people shriek or not and that I can swim a little ways. I don't have to be right in the tumult of the shrieking. It's an everyday reminder when I swim I don't get to choose how life is. It always feels a little softer when I appreciate that they're having fun rather than why do they have to be so loud. And so it's such a small example in a way and yet those kinds of patterns and habits in our body, In our mind, Our nervous system really affect us. Bring something to mind that we resist that we really wish was some different way than what it is. Sometimes it's helpful to work with something small like a daily life kind of thing rather than a global thing. I really wish everybody would care about social justice but something that's a little bit more manageable like kids that are too loud when we're swimming. What is something for you that you might bring in and just bring it into your heart for a moment? One of the ways that I sometimes relate to that as well is sometimes there's a jet ski or motorboat and they're pulling kids behind and it's exciting. There's a lot of adrenaline but it's also very noisy and it's a little scary because I don't really trust boaters to see me. I'm cautious and I have a bright yellow hat and a red swim shirt. One of the things that helps me not be angry about that or resist that is that I didn't get to do that much but I remember a couple times as a kid I got to go surfboarding behind a boat and it was really fun. That's what's happening with those people. They're having fun. I wish they would do it a little further down the lake but they probably aren't even thinking about the swimmers because they think well I see them I'm not gonna you know. There's so many examples so just whatever is coming to your mind something specific and to bring in your grumpiness about it if that's how you're feeling or your resistance. What does that feel like in the body as well? And then if we could take a few deeper breaths maybe relax anything that's tightened up. So we're not really looking at the right or the wrong of it. We're really just seeing what is my response to this situation. And then let our nervous system come back to a little bit more ease. Deeper breaths, Softer muscles. Look at the images or the thoughts in your mind. As we come back into a bit more subtle nervous system we have a bit more capacity to see the situation in a wider perspective. We have more capacity to be compassionate to ourselves. Here I am in the situation that's troubling me. We can more likely connect with the humanity of everybody else in the situation. How can we bring in different perspectives maybe from our own experience or more generally? What are some of the other ways to look at this situation or to be with it? And as with anything we don't have to be perfect. If you notice that you're shaming yourself at all see if you could back away from the shame. These are natural things that we can do. We have a lot of sexual responses. It's difficult to live with a lot of people around us. People get on our nerves whether it's our partner, Neighbor, Or it's kids at the lake. People don't arrange themselves to suit us and then we have a response to that. Sometimes it's helpful to let it just go where it goes. What else comes up around that? Notice the whole of your body from head to toes, Head to heels. If you want to move your body, You want to stretch or shake or do something like that, Always feel free. Probably some residue in your mind, Your body from what we were just looking at. Might be a little bit activated or feeling some energy. Let's start with letting the breath be smooth. One of the interesting things about the breath is we can work with it physically or energetically or metaphorically. When we feel anxious or afraid we often hold our breath at the end of the inhale. I can't afford to let that go. Notice what it feels like to let your breath be continuous as a practice. Notice your forehead, Eyebrows, And eyes. Bring to mind something that you smile about and notice how that changes your face. What's going on in your heart right now? Is there any emotional energy there that could use some attention? Have you got some inner critic going on in your brain that you could soften with some compassion in your heart? Notice your breath now. See what's happening with the continuity of your breath. Just as you're finishing your exhale, Your stomach is getting softer, Moving back towards the spine. Can you bring in the inhale with some willingness, Some welcoming, Letting go willingly. Sometimes we hang on to things that don't serve us anymore or that have a very minimal amount of nourishment. Could you let go of some of those perhaps as you're breathing out? When we dare to release and we have room to bring in the new, Let your whole body soften as you breathe out. You might be noticing thoughts, Some situation that you're grumpy about. Could you bring some ease into your heart? Notice that much of the time we are able to keep things in context, To enjoy what there is to enjoy, And other times that's a bit more of a stretch. Especially when it's more of a stretch, We could offer ourselves kindness. We struggle with those things because we're feeling overloaded or overwhelmed, Not because we're a bad person. Basic goodness is in all of us, And practicing this generosity of spirit helps us to remember that. Have some secondhand enjoyment of the kids who are shrieking at the lake, And let that be as it is. How could I offer myself more ease, More happiness in my daily life? Bring a little heart around that. What could I do to open that up?

Reviews

Even though I cannot change the situation I can take care of myself. So true! Thank you! 💚🙏

This track perfectly captures the essence of choosing positivity and peace over negativity and anger. 🙏🏽♥️♥️💛🌟

Such a great reminder!! Many thanks Choose peace!