
Good Will Relaxation
by Lynn Fraser
What a wonderful thing we do for ourselves. We tune in. We notice what is going on. We develop the capacity to concentrate. Overtime we heal our old survival strategies. We unwind some of that patterning that happened when we were younger.
Transcript
What a wonderful thing we do for ourselves.
This relationship that we have with ourselves,
And we spend time with ourselves.
We come in,
We notice what's going on,
We develop the capacity to concentrate.
So over time,
Our mind becomes more settled,
Less likely to wander off.
And part of that is the old survival strategies.
When we're uncomfortable or we feel powerless or hurt,
So often as a child that's our experience.
And we develop fantasizing and daydreaming and wandering mind and anxious thinking.
We develop a shell where breath,
Or we stop breathing,
We hold our breath,
And many people have a habit of that.
These practices are a way to get to know ourselves and to practice being kind and patient with ourselves as we heal.
And we unwind or reverse some of that patterning that happened when we were younger.
Just like we would feel so kindly and wanting to soothe and nourish a child we love or an adult we love too,
If they're feeling distressed.
We turn towards ourselves in that way.
We nourish and support ourselves.
As we're starting the practice,
Notice your own goodwill towards yourself.
And sometimes in inquiry we use sentences or phrases like,
I am 100% on my own side.
I unconditionally love myself.
And when we say those,
We might notice that there's some hesitation.
There's a holding back.
And that's not an inherent part of our personality.
That's due to some kind of hurt,
Threat,
Fear.
In our culture we often push ourselves and we forget that actually we could trust ourselves,
That we actually really do want the best for ourselves.
And our body is always trying to do that.
And if the best is that we harden up in protection,
Then that's what it'll do.
And then when we do a practice,
We take a deep breath.
Oh wow,
It feels good to settle our shoulders,
Let go of clenching our jaw.
And we look and we notice actually right now the absolute best thing that I could do for myself,
The best support,
The best way to build resilience and health,
Is to love and be kind and patient and accepting with myself,
To really cultivate this goodwill.
Notice however that is,
That it's showing up in your body and your mind,
Cultivating goodwill towards ourselves,
Within ourselves.
Bring your attention to the face.
Notice your forehead and eyebrows,
Muscles of your eyes.
Notice your eyelids and the corners of your eyes as well.
And notice if right now you don't need to scan for danger.
You could open your eyes and look around.
Look to the sides,
Even look behind you.
But for most of us,
I'm sure that you would not be doing a relaxation if there was danger in your environment.
And sometimes it helps to reassure ourselves.
A big part of our eyes and the task of our vision is to make sure that we're safe and to look out for danger.
So as you let your gaze go soft or as you close your eyes,
We need to trust that we're still going to be okay.
One of the ways that we know that is from experience.
If every day you do a practice in the same place or you're spending time in your home and it's safe there,
Then your body starts to relax,
Your primitive brain,
And it hasn't figured out that you're okay.
The vigilance can come down and that's a big part of resting.
Take a few more deep breaths and as you do,
Let your body know that it's safe to soften.
Let your arms and legs rest as well.
And then come back to this more subtle forehead muscles,
Eyebrows.
Let your forehead,
Eyebrows,
And eyes soften.
Let go of any anxious thinking in the background as well.
Then bring your attention down to your mouth and jaw.
Notice if you're clenching your teeth.
Move your lower jaw around a little bit and put some space between your upper jaw and lower jaw.
Let your tongue rest on the floor of your mouth.
Let your vocal cords be still in front of your throat.
And then bring your attention down the sides of your neck into your shoulders,
The back of your neck into the back of your shoulders,
The top of your back.
If you want,
You could move your shoulders up or wiggle them around a little bit.
But on the exhale,
Let go of any tightness through the neck and shoulders.
Notice how that feels.
Our shoulder muscles don't say,
I'm mad because you were tight all this time.
I'm not going to relax now.
As soon as we notice that our shoulder muscles are tight,
We automatically soften them.
And if we have a lot of momentum in that contraction,
If we do it a lot or if it's kind of become the habitual state of our muscles in our upper back,
Then it's not going to soften completely in a few breaths.
So we start with the large,
Obvious stuff first.
Let the large muscles soften and let your body be supported either by the back of the chair or the bed or the floor.
Bring your attention around to the front of your chest as well.
Notice what part of your chest is moving as you breathe.
And if there is any engagement in your upper chest with your breath,
See if you could relax your belly from the navel center down to your lower abdomen and let the breath move deeper,
Become slower,
More rhythmic.
And really let your body soften.
Cultivate the goodwill towards your body in a real visceral way.
Let your muscles relax.
Let your body be supported.
Soften your breath.
Notice the whole front of your body from your face,
Through your chin and your throat,
Your collarbones down through your chest,
From the sides of the neck and the shoulders down through your arms and hands,
Fingers,
Fingertips,
And from your chest through your belly,
Through the legs to the feet and the toes.
And then from the soles of the feet,
Bring your way up just with your attention through the ankles,
Lower legs,
The shins and the calves,
Knee joints,
Through your thighs,
The powerful muscles at the front of your thighs,
Hamstrings at the back,
Coming through your buttocks,
Your hips,
Your pelvic floor,
Up through your belly,
Navel center,
Stomach area under the ribs,
The diaphragm,
Everything that's protected by the rib cage,
Heart and lungs.
Notice the rib cage and how especially the lower ribs,
It moves a bit as you breathe.
Those little muscles between the ribs stretch a bit open and then they relax.
And then notice the powerful muscles that cover the rib cage,
The powerful muscles of the chest,
Of the back,
Behind the heart center,
Up into the shoulder blades,
The upper back,
Large bands of muscles in the back,
Up through your neck and shoulders and then down through your arms and hands.
And then from your neck up to your ears,
The hinges of your jaw,
Corners of your mouth,
The tongue as it rests on the floor of your mouth,
Sensations of air moving in through the nose,
Down through the back of the mouth.
Coming back to the eyes,
The eyelids,
The corners of the eyes,
Forehead,
Eyebrows,
To the top of the head.
And notice goodwill,
The goodwill that you have towards yourself,
Your whole being,
Your mind-body,
The goodwill your body has towards you,
Always wanting to do the best.
Soften,
Relax.
4.7 (30)
Recent Reviews
Debbie
March 21, 2023
What a lovely relaxation this is! Just what I needed after a day full of high anxiety which try as I might, just didn’t want to shift till now. I was able to send goodwill to each muscle group you mentioned and the tension melted away. Thank you Lynne.
