The Core Reason Of Your Unhappiness - Talk

Today I will share with you why most people are unhappy. Many live their lives focused on survival and conformity, just like their parents. People are merely focused on making it to another day, not on true meaning and happiness.

The main reason for this pattern is that people attain positions, possessions, and people before they know who they actually are. This creates a false life, based on a false self. By letting go of what no longer serves us, we are more able to be our true selves.

Transcript

Welcome to Love,

Dream,

Live!

Your source of life lessons that inspire you to love intensely,

Dream relentlessly,

And live passionately.

Our goal is to help you create harmony in your work,

Personal life,

And self-discovery journey.

Welcome your host Aida with today's topic.

Hey there wonderful!

Thank you for tuning in today.

Today I will be talking about contrast and the role that it plays in our lives and about how contrast and duality exist so that we can learn from them and not for us to live there.

We're not supposed to live in contrast,

We're supposed to learn from it.

So first I'm going to define contrast and duality as basically to me it's like the illusion of opposites and the illusion of seemingly opposing and contradicting forces that our mind has talked us into believing that they exist.

For example happiness and sadness,

Day and night.

These are examples of completely opposite and seemingly contradicting themes that are a part of our everyday world,

A part of our everyday life.

So the problem with contrast in a world of duality and living in this place of so much variety is that whenever we believe that there's two different things that we must make a choice,

Like it's up to us to choose lightness or darkness,

We need to choose between day and night,

We need to decide if we're gonna be happy or if we're gonna be sad,

But in all reality the real truth is that both darkness and lightness they're both real.

Happiness and sadness both of them are real.

They're all truth within themselves.

So being that they are both true and that they are both pretty much two different sides of the same coin,

You're not really able to make a choice that would exclude the other one completely.

Like you could never say I want to experience every day as only daytime.

I don't want any nighttime.

Like that's not possible and also like consciously choosing to be happy there's no guarantee that you're not gonna be sad sometimes.

There is really no guarantee that you will be able to experience only that one thing that you consciously choose.

So all in all there is no way to have one without having the other one also exist and since both things,

Since both sides of the spectrum are real and both sides of the spectrum are truths,

Like opposing truths,

But they're both truths no matter which way you choose the other one is still real,

The other one is still valid and the other one is still true.

So in all reality our goal in life should never be to pick one side or the other because whenever we try to put ourselves in that place it creates a lot of discomfort,

A lot of challenge,

Anxiety and overwhelm to say oh my goodness I'm gonna have to choose between one or the other and in all reality you don't because no matter which one you choose you're gonna have a little bit of the other one and you're gonna have some of both.

So I believe that our ultimate goal in life is to dance in the middle and embrace both truths without resistance to either one.

So in essence you don't have to run away from your fear but you also don't have to run towards love just learn to dance in the middle and use that contrast to learn and to expand your awareness not as a way to say I'm gonna have to pick a side I'm gonna have to go left or right I'm gonna have to move up or down because although the power of choice is magnificent and it really allows us to feel like we have control and direction in our lives the power of choice is also somewhat of an illusion.

So I encourage you that whenever you are making a decision and you have a choice to make between one thing and another one to use contrast as a way to compare and contrast and a way to learn and grow but try to find a way to integrate both truths as one thing.

Don't force yourself to have to pick one or the other and don't force yourself to make a choice to be on one side of the spectrum or on the other side of the spectrum because in all honesty picking a side and making a choice never works because you cannot have the day without the night and you can't have happiness without sadness so in all reality at the end of the day even though it might seem that you're making a choice you really are wanting to find a way to dance somewhere in the middle and create harmony between the two opposing forces and not allowing them to oppose because you're getting rid of that resistance.

So instead of forcing yourself to make a choice or have a clear decision made I encourage you to find a way to embrace both truths and embrace both extremes and become neither one embrace both of them and dance in the middle and in this way you release a lot of the resistance and the fear and a lot of the negative emotions that come from making a choice because sometimes we make the wrong choices and so it creates a lot of resistance inside of ourselves and next time we try to make a choice we're really nervous because we have this fear that we're gonna make a mistake but the truth is that there is no mistake that both sides are real both sides are true and you don't have to force yourself to run either way you don't have to live in contrast because living in contrast is a lot like running and chasing it's a consistent struggle and it can be really really exhausting and even frustrating and it could lead you to feel depressed and upset with yourself because you're making the wrong choices or you're not getting the results that you want but it's all for a reason like if you're not getting the results that you're wanting it's because maybe you're not ready and you still have to learn from the different opposing and contradicting forces to find a happy medium a happy middle a place where you can be at ease and find stillness between the darkness and the lightness find somewhere in the middle that you can enjoy both of them without having to say I'm gonna pick one or the other because there's really no need to I feel like contrast and duality and living in this world of opposites helps to bring our own polarities that are inside of ourselves and puts them into a physical and real world where we can see the difference and we can acknowledge that there's different things that are available to us and in front of us and different things doesn't necessarily mean bad different things can also be good so whenever we do live in contrast it does serve a particular purpose basically contrast creates tension and resistance and that tension and resistance help you take action so sometimes we need that contrast and that discomfort to be able to realize oh my goodness you know I've been living my life this way maybe I could try this other way and it could make me live a happier life so in a way contrast serves as a way to create tension and friction that would hopefully enable us to take action and move forward and move towards the center and towards finding a happy middle and not towards having to pick one side or the other and I've talked about this before on a previous episode about how our mind insists on dividing and categorizing and labeling and our heart insists that we should unite and have togetherness and belonging and so there is that tug of war inside of ourselves and it's emphasized in a world of duality in a world of contrast because what we see on the outside is a reflection of what is happening with us on the inside if your mind and heart have opposing forces and they're always fighting and disagreeing you're gonna see a lot of contrast in your life because that's gonna create resistance and it's gonna create tension inside of you to take action to move towards or away from whatever it is that you're wanting or desiring but during that process and during that journey you need to learn to appreciate both sides of the spectrum because you need to learn how to appreciate the darkness the lightness the happiness and sadness and really understand that you can't have one without the other and even if you could then you could not be able to appreciate the opposite of it because you're not able to expand your awareness enough to include both of them so a lot of the lessons in our life are really just ways that we can experience both sides of the spectrum in a way that we can heal ourselves and find a center and find a way to embrace seemingly opposite things and have them combine into one and have that dance and not having to feel like we have to be making a choice like feeling compelled to pick one thing or another the truth is that you really don't have to because no matter what you choose you're gonna also experience the other side of the coin so there's tremendous power in integrating both sides and having it create wholeness inside of you and having you be able to find stillness in the middle and not having to run or chase so I know that I personally lived in contrast for a really long period of my life always running or chasing always trying to find a way to get this but away from that and so I feel that now there's a lot of different instances where I've created harmony where I've created synergy between opposites and it's allowed me to feel more calm more at ease and I can feel more serenity and it really does take a lot from me because you have to be able to expand your perspective and you have to be willing to see the other side of the coin so if I believe something I have to also be able to believe the other side of it otherwise I'm gonna be consistently having resistance towards the opposite so the way that I see living in contrast is like learning your letters so you're going into pre-k or kindergarten and you're learning your letters like the really basic roots of what makes up everything else in your language but you never create any words with your letters you know about the letter A B and C and D but you're never really taking those letters to combine them to create words like it just doesn't happen to click for you so you learn these letters but you never combine them and integrate them so you can create words so it doesn't really matter that you learn your letters because now you can't really do anything with them not until you start to learn how to create words with those letters and then how to create sentences with those words and then how to weave those sentences together to create a story then it all comes together and you realize okay I didn't really just learn my ABCs because I needed to learn my letters I needed to learn my ABCs because they enabled me to combine these letters and use them in a combination with different letters and integrate them so I can create language I can create words and stories and ways to connect on a deeper level if I just tell you the letter A that doesn't really mean anything to you but if I create a story that obviously will have the letter A in it then you're gonna be better able to identify with it and now it's gonna be like okay well even though A and B are different and I'm aware of that when you combine them they create more meaning they create more depth that's the other thing about creating wholeness and integration is that whenever you're trying to pick between right and left you're kind of living on the surface and if you look deeper and realize that left and right are both real and true and you can be like okay let's go to a deeper level because sometimes I'm gonna be on the right side and sometimes I'm gonna be on the left side so in the same way that a letter doesn't really mean anything until you integrate it with other letters and create words and sentences and stories in that same way when you're able to combine different things to make more meaning and more depth you're able to create union and wholeness and you don't have to have a part of you that's fighting against you because you're creating a dance in this particular example it's the dance of our language and our language is so powerful whenever we combine and interweave different words different sentences different stories and we make chapters out of stories and we make entire books out of chapters so imagine only being able to use half of the letters of the alphabet whenever you're talking or communicating with somebody else you just imagine that you have to only use the first 13 letters or only the last 13 letters how divided your perspective will be now if you take the time to learn all 26 letters of the alphabet then at that point you're not really limiting your perspective anymore you're expanding your mind and you're expanding your awareness to be able to fit all of the letters not just the first half of the alphabet or the last half of the alphabet and in all reality that's how we limit our perspective when we live in contrast we force ourselves to make a choice am I gonna use only the first 13 letters of the alphabet or the last 13 letters of the alphabet and it's like well you're gonna really need all of the alphabet to be able to create something of meaning something of depth and a lot of this is learning to accept your own gifts and your own flaws and not have resistance towards the things that you don't like about yourself you're gonna need to find peace with every part of yourself and integrate yourself in order to be able to integrate other external things in your life because something about contrast is that it allows us to dismiss what is different from us so if we find something that's different from us we can dismiss it and we can label it as okay that's not right that's not good for me but on a deeper level that's not really true it's just that sometimes we're so busy looking for sameness that we're not really willing to look at the other side that we're not really wanting to learn or grow or expand and we're refusing to see what is different and we're resisting that difference and so it takes a lot more time for us to really create integration and find a way to embrace both sides of the spectrum as true as real and as valid and I believe that the biggest challenge is embracing our flaws embracing what's different and embracing change and when we learn to do that and integrate those pieces that are really challenging within ourselves then we can find a way to live in more peace and harmony and wholeness and stop fighting against ourselves and struggling with ourselves and feeling frustrated and exhausted with this consistent fight that's going on inside of ourselves and we're seeing it in our physical world because it's happening inside of ourselves so I encourage you to pay attention to your life right now and find out what kind of struggles you're facing and what kind of contradicting opposing seemingly completely different forces that are pulling at you one way or the other and try to find a dance in the middle try to find a way to synergize and integrate these two seemingly opposing forces and find a happy middle even though it might mean that you're gonna have to expand your perspective and embrace a truth or a reality that you don't want to embrace so with this process is a lot of practicing a lot of acceptance you're gonna need to find a lot of acceptance inside of yourself so I really challenge you to expand your perspective and be able to not only accept but embrace what is different whatever it is that you don't want whatever it is that you don't want to accept whatever it is that you fear or have resistance towards because when you do this and you embrace it and you accept it it no longer has a pull on you it no longer has power over you because you've diffused that power and you've neutralized it to a place where there is no opposite there is no contradiction and there is no tug of war and pushing and pulling and struggle and running and chasing so the main message today is to use contrast as a way to learn to expand your perspective and to create integration and create a dance that allows you to have peace and serenity and to not live in a contrast world that's contradicting and always on your side or against you and pushing you and pulling you in different ways in different directions because at the end of the day what really seems to be completely opposing and contradicting forces and the duality of the world it really is only a reflection of how you feel about yourself and how torn you are between your mind and your heart and once you're able to see that and gain that awareness and that perspective you're better able to integrate the different things and create wholeness and live a happier more balanced life not because you're always happy but because whenever you're happy or sad you find a way to dance in the middle you find a way to dance in the rain because it's all part of the journey and there's gonna be ups and downs and the more that you embrace that and welcome that the more likely it is that you're gonna feel happiness and find deeper meaning in life and the more likely that you'll experience harmony and balance in your life thank you for tuning in today and I'll see you again next time thank you for joining us today don't forget to subscribe and share this episode with a friend visit love dream live calm for more and remember to stop waiting decide to choose yourself you can experience unconditional love create the life of your dreams and live in harmony and abundance every single day see you again soon