Transforming Jealousy

In this practice, we will explore the feeling of jealousy and its underlying causes, and learn how to transform it into a positive and empowering emotion. Whether you struggle with jealousy in your personal relationships, or in your professional or creative pursuits, this meditation will offer you tools to shift your perspective and cultivate greater compassion, gratitude, and abundance in your life.

Transcript

Hello,

My name is Lou Redman.

Welcome to an Insight Timer premium track.

I am so excited to be able to share with you.

It's such a gift every time that I hit record and know that this message will be received by people willing,

Ready to hear it.

Today is a message,

A lesson,

And a meditation that has been so transformational for me,

And I know it can be transformational for you because it's something we all deal with.

We all struggle with jealousy,

Feeling like someone else gaining is in some way taking away from us.

And this is a core delusion.

The delusion of jealousy is caused by the illusion of separation.

All great wisdom traditions in some way are saying we are one.

They're saying that what we do to others,

We do to ourselves.

And so that feeling of jealousy,

That ickiness that we often feel is disconnecting us from the truth of our nature and transforming this not only helps us to feel better in our bodies,

But it also brings more abundance,

More good things to our lives because jealousy is scarcity and it is no place to live.

And I'll share with you a little bit on the inside of a story that points to this recently in my life.

I talk about this a lot in a couple of my courses,

Learn to stop caring what others think,

Develop unshakable confidence.

So I've done a lot of work on this and I noticed how much work I've done on it recently because I am in a group with a few other Insight Timer teachers and one of the teachers asked if I was invited for an opportunity that Insight Timer was doing,

A special opportunity that not everyone was invited for and I hadn't gotten invited and there was a moment of feeling left out,

Of feeling disconnected or maybe even a little jealousy,

But it was only a brief moment and I was able to quickly shift into being so excited for my friend.

Some of you might know Darius Bashar.

Feeling so excited for Darius that he got this opportunity and just sending him love,

Celebrating it with him because I really have this belief that when others win,

We win.

And so that's the essence of this practice that we're gonna work through today to get to that space of feeling like when someone else gains,

So do you.

Alright,

So let's move into our practice and closing your eyes,

Coming into your body,

Feeling the connecting points on the chair,

The cushion,

Feeling the shoulders above hips,

Ears above shoulders,

Gentle tuck of the chin,

Both feeling rooted,

Heavy and also expansive and light.

Can you sense how those two seemingly opposites are working together as you drop in?

And to continue to ground,

Notice the different parts of your body.

Be doing a self body scan,

Noticing head,

Hands,

Calves,

Thighs,

Knees.

Not spending too much time,

Just noticing the different parts and then notice your body as one.

Noticing it without the parts,

Just as one organism working together.

And then start to notice the in-breath.

Just your attention on the in-breath.

What does that do to your body?

And then feel just the out-breath or I should say notice just the out-breath and then bring the breath into one.

So noticing the breath and feeling the breath as a whole,

As a whole process.

And so as we ground,

We're using the breath and body as an analogy for where we create separation and connect to oneness.

There's a Sufi teacher,

Kabir Helminski,

Who writes that two stones cannot occupy the same space,

But two fragrances can.

And this points to more of our true spiritual nature.

We walk around feeling like we're these heavy stone bodies separate,

But our spirit is so much greater and effervescent and light.

So we're going to use this metaphor as we work today.

So noticing your body,

Feeling it as if it is a stone,

Noticing its density.

And then connect with your root,

Feeling the connecting points of your sits bones on your chair and feeling like you're starting to,

With your breath,

Pull energy from the ground up through the base of your spine,

Pulling it up the central channel through the crown of your head.

Maybe even imagine your awareness dropped down into the earth to help you breathe it up.

And as you move the energy up your spine,

Imagine the physical body of stone starts to become lighter.

Maybe you can feel it vibrate faster.

And see if you can move the awareness and feel it outside of your physical body.

You start to feel your your aura.

And as you keep pulling the energy up,

Continue to feel the awareness travel wider and wider in every direction.

And see if you can use the metaphor of your stone completely evaporating into the fragrance.

Maybe even smell the the freshness of your spiritual fragrance.

And then let's take a breath in together,

Letting that go.

And coming back to your physical body,

You might even drop a little bit back into the stone again.

And I invite you to bring to mind someone who brings up jealousy.

Meaning that there's a part of you that believes that if this person or group of people gain,

That you lose.

It could be someone that you feel in competition with,

Or you don't get along with.

It could be a friend,

Family member,

Co-worker,

Colleague.

It might be someone you're close with,

And it might be someone that you have disagreements with,

Or that you're not connected to.

Just acknowledge the feelings that this person brings up.

And notice you and this person as two separate stones.

Maybe feeling in your body,

Where those feelings come up?

Where does jealousy live inside of you?

What is its texture?

Remember,

The delusion of jealousy comes from the illusion of separation.

And as we clear the the ickiness and distortions in our field,

We enlighten our spirits to be more the fragrance and less the heavy stone.

So to work with that,

I'd like you to bring your awareness inwards and invoke a prayer to be rid of jealousy and icky,

Toxic emotions.

And so bringing your awareness inwards,

And you're welcome to repeat these words silently or out loud.

Or you can just listen to me share these words and let them wash over you.

May I be cleansed of all toxic emotions.

May I experience the abundance in and around me.

May I be a vessel of truth and support for all.

May I be and give love unconditionally.

May I always remember,

When they win,

I win.

Repeating this one more time.

May I be cleansed of all toxic emotions.

May I experience the abundance in and around me.

May I be a vessel of truth and support for all.

May I be and give love unconditionally.

May I always remember,

When they win,

I win.

And repeat this last part silently to yourself.

When they win,

I win.

When they win,

I win.

And as you do this,

Notice the awareness expanding,

Coming more into the the fragrance of your spirit.

And with that,

Go ahead and now look at the person whom you're jealous of,

Or notice them in your awareness,

However this shows up for you.

What we're going to practice now is celebrating this person.

Even if it might be difficult,

Even if you might not actually feel it,

It's still taking those steps to transforming this energy within you.

This is a practice of sympathetic joy.

In Buddhism,

It's called mudita.

And so imagining that you're sharing these words from your heart with this person,

And as you share,

Imagine that each of your bodies start as stone,

But feel as you share as both of your fragrances start to come out,

And the separation starts to become a bit less.

And so sharing with them,

May you receive all you desire.

May your successes grow.

May your life flourish.

May you feel love and joy in all your days.

When you win,

I win.

May you receive all you desire.

May your successes grow.

May your life flourish.

May you feel love and joy in all your days.

When you win,

I win.

And repeat that last one for a while.

When you win,

I win.

When you win,

I win.

And as you do this,

Imagine that you see their spirit opening more and more,

And your fragrance is beginning to occupy the same space.

Connecting more to that universal truth that what we give,

We receive.

What we do and say to others,

We do and say to ourselves.

Feel that connection and oneness as your fragrances occupy the same space.

We are truly in this together.

Breathe and feel into that truth.

And then taking one last full breath with me,

And letting that go.

And in your own time,

There's no rush,

Beginning to open your eyes and come back into your space.

I thank you so much for the opportunity to share.

If you liked what you heard,

Please leave a comment.

Let me know how this practice was for you.

I love hearing from you and how these connected for you.

And if you want to stay connected with new meditations,

Events that I have coming up,

Check out my circle on Insight Timer called Lou's Circle,

And that's the best place to hear what's going on.

And then lastly,

If you like this topic and want to go deeper,

A few of my courses I work with this learn to stop caring what others think and develop unshakable confidence.

So there's just some good places to continue coming more into that self-empowered state that sees abundance,

That sees wellness and wholeness in and for all.

Thank you so much for your time and your attention.

Lots of love as always.

Namaste.

Reviews

When you win we win!!

This was just what I needed.

That was excellent. This has gnawed at me for years and has actually gotten worse, harder to deal with, as I have had many, continuous challenges while watching good friends reap the rewards of long careers, the gift of strong marriages, almost no challenges or losses like mine. I like the concept of "when they win, I win". Hope I can really believe it, eventually.
Thank you

Thank you- I’ve come a long way from how jealous I used to be. I liked the exercises and prayer especially about celebrating our own abundance from within and around us. Sometimes I catch myself feeling jealous but it’s improved through my own work with gratitude.

Bir olduğumuzu anlamak bütün olumsuz duyguların ilacı gibi görünüyor. Hatırlattığın için teşekkür ederim.

Thank you, I really needed to reframe my thoughts of feeling left out and indignant and this helped tremendously.

This practice was super intense for me the first time I tried it. I felt a lot of shame for the jealousy I was feeling. But the second time I tried it, it was much easier. It felt obvious to me that when they win, I win.

One thing I'm not sure about, though - is there really such a thing as a "toxic" emotion? I think my jealousy was pointing me to an imbalance, a place that needed healing, and ultimately I am grateful to that messenger. But maybe that is what you mean when you say "may I be cleansed of all toxic emotions" - may I follow the path they open up for healing & growth.

Very good! I’ve been unwell…this has helped with emotional limitations that have popped up during my convalescence!