The Art Of Surrender

“The life you can plan is too small for you to live.” This practice uses this theme from David Whyte to release our hold on how things should be and learn the sacred art of surrendering to life's divine unfolding.

Transcript

So today's theme,

I've talked about a little bit about this theme in July,

But talking about something that I think is so foundational to our spirituality in general,

And that is learning how to surrender.

Now,

A lot of you have taken some sort of or have been in this world for a little while where you can,

I think,

Understand that when we talk about surrender,

We're not talking necessarily about giving up.

When we're talking about surrender,

It's really the way that I like to look at it is simply saying yes to the moment,

Saying yes to what is presenting itself in our life.

And that doesn't mean necessarily saying yes,

I like this thing,

Or yes,

But next time it needs to go this way.

It's just saying,

Okay,

This is what is presenting itself in my life right now,

And how do I stay open to that?

Michael Singer,

Who is,

I think,

The godfather of surrender,

He's written two really great books in spirituality.

If you haven't read them,

I highly recommend both of them,

The Untethered Soul and The Surrender Experiment.

And he says that spirituality is never about getting what you want,

And it's never about avoiding what you don't want.

And those two concepts kind of help us,

And it's not to say that we don't have goals and we don't want things,

But just those two thought experiments help us to shift into allowing an opening to what is here and what is present.

Because when we don't,

We're saying no,

We're constricting,

We're closing down.

When we say no to what is here,

And so much of this work energetically is to notice that,

To notice the resistances,

To notice the anxieties that come up.

And see,

Instead of constricting,

Saying no,

Maybe running away,

Suppressing it,

Doing something where we don't have to fully feel it,

We say,

Okay,

How do I open to this?

How do I allow whatever this energy is to move through me and to find,

Hopefully,

A new state of being or a new way to move through that?

So,

Often,

We want to control our lives,

Or we want to have things go our way.

And I'm reminded in this theme of the quote that I've been using to guide my year.

It's by David White,

A great poet,

And he says,

I forgot exactly what poem this is from,

But,

The life you can plan is too small for you to live.

The life you can plan is too small for you to live.

And another way to say that is,

The life you can control,

The life you can expect,

The life you can know ahead of time.

That life,

There's actually something so much greater if we open up to it.

And if we can see it,

We're like that,

Michael Singer would always say,

We're like a flashlight in a dark room,

And all we can see is what that light is shining upon,

When really maybe something so much greater is on that wall.

But it's blocked.

We don't see it.

And so we need life to shake it up.

So we turn around and be like,

Oh,

Yes,

There it is.

I'm so happy that that thing happened.

And it allows us to be a little bit more pleasantly surprised.

Instead of,

And there's a little kind of everyday thing here that I was thinking about of,

Let's say you're driving with your husband or your wife or whoever,

And you're doing some backseat driving and they take a wrong turn and like,

You should have went right.

Like now we're going to be 10 minutes late or whatever it is.

Instead of you take a wrong turn and be like,

Oh my gosh,

Wow,

I've never got to see in the street before.

This is such a nice house.

What a nice little detour we're taking.

And so just letting ourselves be in that moment in a new way.

And that's kind of if you take it in the broad,

You take that little metaphor into our life,

It's like,

We can be pleasant.

It's so nice to be pleasantly surprised.

Imagine just going through our life just constantly like,

Oh my gosh,

Pleasantly surprised at whatever it comes,

Almost like we have amnesia,

Which is probably not ideal.

But so all of this topic,

Many of you,

If you've been on my newsletter and have received or you've shared some of the things over the past month,

I've had a,

I had a lot of plans at the beginning of the summer.

And those plans changed due to an injury and having good surgery and,

And all this stuff that I was really focused on and thought was supposed to happen.

And as I'm a little bit further away from it now,

And I can see back the past two months,

All I can,

I'm just incredibly grateful for,

For this,

What at the time seemed like the worst possible thing that that could have happened for the plans that I had.

And it's been such a beautiful,

So many beautiful things have come from it.

And with it,

It's,

It's,

Everything is comparable to like what our challenges are.

But often,

If we look for it,

The most unexpected events in our life,

Carry with it the seed to also be the most transformative.

And if we can shift,

This is the worst time that this could have happened to,

This is the perfect time?

This is the perfect,

Yes,

This is the perfect time that it was exactly this time that this needed to happen,

That we train our psychology,

We trade our mind to,

Okay,

How,

If that's the case,

Where do I find that?

How do,

How is this true?

How do I find the gift that is in doing us?

And because really,

I know we all have plans,

But there is,

If we can surrender,

We tune ourselves into the higher plan that,

Again,

We don't see.

And sometimes that negative thing happening to us,

Also seeing the interconnectedness that actually,

Okay,

Maybe that,

That,

That meant something more positive happened for someone else.

Right?

I didn't get that job because that person actually really needed it in a way that I don't even realize.

And actually,

I'm meant to,

To be in this position or in this case for my retreat,

I was supposed to be facilitating this retreat.

And I couldn't,

And it opened the door for someone to come help out who wouldn't have been on the retreat before that potentially could open a door for her to do something like that.

So I don't know,

I'm not,

I'm not playing the hands that are of a greater order.

So kind of reminding ourselves like,

Okay,

There's,

There's something else here.

And if we can allow ourselves to just loosen our grip a little bit of how we think we should go,

We can,

As David White says,

Open to the life that is in a way larger for us to live and really step into that.

And if we don't surrender,

As one of friends put it,

Either surrender or you suffer.

So it's like,

Okay,

You practice this or you can be cynical and just unhappy and go that route.

So that's what we're going to do today.

We're going to,

We're going to move through a practice that allows us to hopefully release something that we're saying no to or that we've been saying no to and see if we can fully surrender the essence of it.

And so we're going to do a good amount.

Well,

A lot of you practice me before,

So this is probably not unusual.

So today is a good amount of visualization.

And I always say for people that maybe have a more difficult time visualizing to one,

Be kind to yourself.

One that's it's very normal.

I would say like 20 to 30% of people for whatever reason,

Have a tougher time in visualizations,

Stick with the energetic component and just stay with the body and stick with like the intention that the visualization is getting to in actually like what we're trying to work with.

So just giving yourself that permission.

If you have a challenge in visualization.

So if you take a sip of water.

If you need to shift a little bit,

Move your body.

And starting to make yourself comfortable.

You're sitting on a chair,

Feet flat on the ground if you're on a cushion.

Feeling that the weight of your thighs and your legs connect down.

Resting your eyes closed,

That's comfortable.

And since it might be early for some of you,

You're welcome to maybe roll the shoulders back.

Roll the shoulders forward and just to loosen up,

Move some stuck energy in our neck.

You might awaken,

Woke up with.

Until eventually just find your shoulders.

Relax down the back.

Let the cushion,

Let your chair,

Let the ground receive you.

Bringing the awareness to simply your body.

Sitting where it is.

You notice the touch of your hands on your thighs or in between your legs.

The firmness or softness of cushion,

The chair.

Noticing where is your breath this morning or this afternoon.

And with each breath in,

Sense and bring in that fresh,

Clean air of the day into your body.

And with each breath out,

Release the stuck,

Stale energy from the night before.

And you can stay with this awareness of your breath as a space to hold.

Maybe you count the breath in and out.

Maybe you just note inhaling,

Exhaling.

And I'm going to offer us another anchoring practice.

When I've been writing recently,

I've been listening to this artist called Be Still the Earth.

I just love that name.

So using that like a tree,

Feeling yourself rooted,

Strong,

Surrendered to the ground.

And also feeling the flexibility,

The gentle sway that your upper body can allow.

And as you root down even further like a tree would,

We'll use that mantra to settle us even more.

Be still.

Let yourself just gently repeat that phrase to yourself,

Be still.

You can say it as a mantra or you can bring it into your breath.

Inhale,

Be.

And exhale,

Still.

And as you do this,

See if you can soften the belly,

Anything that's tense through the front body.

Softening the face muscles,

Forehead.

Be still.

Got a whole day ahead of you,

Nothing else you have to do yet.

Just right now,

Right here.

Be still.

And then together with me,

Let's take conscious breath in and breath out.

And so moving into our visualization,

Bring your awareness into your mind's eye.

I'd like you to imagine that you're walking down a desert path.

So imagining whatever desert comes to mind.

Southwest,

US,

Mojave,

Sahara,

Australia.

See if you can feel your feet moving in the sand,

The coarseness or the bareness.

And as you walk,

You notice that there really is no path.

You can go north,

South,

East,

West.

And so before we pick a place to go,

I'd like you to sit down on the ground.

And again,

Be still.

Feel the wind across your face.

The sun on your skin.

Again,

Notice where your breath is at.

The desert has always been known as this place of transformation.

So a liminal space where things get stripped away,

Where we learn new ways of being.

And we all go through the deserts of our lifetime.

In those deserts,

Often we don't plan them.

We lose a loved one,

A virus sweeps through,

A sickness finds us,

Plans,

They change.

And so if you feel comfortable allowing yourself to go there,

I'd like you to bring to mind something present or past that has been one of these deserts that has challenged you,

Maybe devastated you,

Where life didn't go to plan.

Maybe that's something you resisted or cursed or didn't want.

And see if you can bring that into this experience representing the desert that you sit in.

And continue to be still.

Start to notice where you feel this resistance or where you feel this in your body.

And if you need,

Using that mantra still as an anchor.

Now I'd like you to imagine that you are reaching your hands into the sand so you can feel it on your skin,

Feel your hands go deep into the ground,

Even if it wasn't that sandy of a desert.

And just like your hands being buried,

This resistance will keep you stuck.

Keep you stiff,

Small and bound.

And notice you can't sway anymore.

And so I'd like you to start to squeeze your hands,

So it's squeezing the hands or the sand between your fingers,

Almost like you're squeezing a stress ball.

And if you'd like,

You can also do this.

You really bring this into your body by moving your hands by your side and imagining that you're actually pressing your hands down and squeezing your fists.

Right.

And this is representing those places that you're holding on and tethering in your life where you're controlling.

Where you're resisting.

Again,

Stay connected to your body.

And notice in your body,

Where is this energy of this desert,

Whatever that thing that you brought in,

Where is it still blocking you?

And asking yourself if you're willing to release this.

And are you willing to change bad timing to perfect timing?

And so feel any tension,

Feel that tightness in your body,

Feel that resistance.

And then as a way to cleanse what needs to be cleansed,

Imagine yourself squeeze your hands in the sand,

Feel like that emotion in your body is actually leaving your body and you're releasing it through your hands transmuting it into the desert sand.

And maybe this is a sadness,

Grief,

Anger,

Just feel like you're squeezing it like you're squeezing it out of your body.

And then when you feel like you've squeezed and release as much as you can imagine yourself either physically or in your visualization,

Let go,

Release,

Let your fingers and hands be open and relaxed.

Notice as you're able to move and sway easily.

And so one last thing here as you sit in the sand and there still might be some resistance still there and that's okay.

There might be still.

And before we continue this little journey,

I'd like you to write one affirmation in the sand that is supportive to you right now.

Something that might help you go forward to remind you of something,

Maybe just a simple I am I am free.

I am trusting I'm surrendered I'm open.

Whatever it is for you.

So you imagine you write it down in the sand right in front of you and just take in that message.

Let that energy move into your body.

And then let's take a gentle breath in and letting it go.

And so now it's time to get up.

From your seat in the desert.

And begin walking and just walk intuitively.

As you walk,

You see that in the distance there's a forest.

Very different terrain than what you've been standing in.

You've crossed through your desert and now.

As you enter this forest,

Start walking on a path that is shown.

You walk a little bit more into it,

You see that there's actually two paths.

Like the Robert Frost poem,

Two paths diverge in the woods.

I get to just stand.

Before each path.

To the right is a path of certainty.

Of expectations of even your goals.

It's the path of what you can imagine,

What you can think of.

And so as you look down in the distance of that path,

Just notice what you see.

And it's not all bad,

It's a lot of great stuff,

So just take a look.

You see your life,

You see your goals,

Your retirement,

Whatever it is.

And let yourself take in the beauty of that.

And then pause that and this time I'm going to turn to your left.

And the left is the path of the unknown.

The mystery of what you don't know that you don't know.

And those dreams might be there,

But there also might be dreams greater than you can even think of right now.

It could be a life of bliss,

Of rapture,

And inherently it's going to be a life of uncertainty or a path of uncertainty.

And this path will also bring up your greatest fears.

And it might bring up more deserts.

And also here there's no expectations,

There's no plans.

There's a full embodied yes to the moment.

So just sense in your body.

I know you can't see what's there,

But sense in your body what you get from this path.

Coming back where you're holding now both of those paths in your awareness.

Acknowledging that you get to decide which one that you walk.

And I'd like you to remember here that affirmation you wrote in the sand.

What does that say to you?

I'm going to share a line from one of my favorite artists.

You are greater than your deepest fears.

You are wise beyond your years.

It's by an artist,

Nako.

You are greater than your deepest fears.

You are wise beyond your years.

So see if you can embrace that in right now.

Maybe just saying to yourself silently.

I am greater than my deepest fears.

I am wise beyond my years.

I am love.

I am trusting.

I am surrendered.

And the spirit of one of my favorite shows,

Ted Lasso,

I believe.

I am greater than my deepest fears.

I am wise beyond my years.

I am love.

I am trusting.

I am surrendered.

I believe.

The life you can plan is too small for you to live.

Which one will you choose?

Before you do,

I'd like you to connect with whatever it is you connect with spiritually.

That's God,

Christ,

Buddha,

Saint,

Divine Mother.

Feel that presence with you,

Around you,

Supporting you.

Know that it will take care of you.

Connect with whatever this loving,

Benevolent energy is.

And when you feel ready,

Step forward into the path that you have chosen.

And as you walk down this path,

I want you to see the colors getting brighter,

The sky bluer,

The flowers more vibrant.

Take in the smells,

Take in the moment.

Sense the bounty,

Sense the beauty.

Because whatever path you chose,

This is the path that has been waiting for you.

And your job in either way is to stay surrendered to this moment.

So as you step,

Acknowledge that benevolent force of love,

Imagine it there beside you.

Taking care of you no matter how hard this road gets,

No matter how much deserts you may walk through,

No matter how many roadblocks you face.

And then as you walk to the end of this path,

This last part,

You see a field,

Beautiful green,

Lush grass.

And this field represents the future that you can't plan.

This represents something greater.

And so like it'll lie down in that field,

Feel yourself surrendered to the grass beneath your body.

And in this field,

There's all the possibilities and all the beauty that is here and moving through you.

As you lay down in that field,

Look up at the sky,

Open to the mystery,

To the wonder.

One last note to ourselves.

I trust the process.

I surrender to the wisdom.

I am right where I need to be.

I trust.

I surrender.

Feel that sun bursting through,

Enlivening your spirit,

Ready to take you on this next part of your path.

Moving forward on this journey.

And take a full breath in with me.

Letting that go.

And gently in your own time.

Whenever you feel right,

You can start to maybe come back out of this practice.

Maybe there's some movement like you went in.

Maybe there's some shoulder rolls.

There's a stretch.

Reviews

Thanks, Lou. Highly appreciated and highly recommended. 🙏🏻💞

That was so amazing. Thank you

Great talk and then meditation with visualization on surrendering to what life has in store for us. Namaste 🙏

I know this is the path I’m meant to be on. No matter how difficult or bare. There is more to the journey.

For me, this was a new visualization of a way to let go and I really appreciated it.

Useful when you experience issues with letting go.

Excellent.

once again aprecciate you time and energy! hugs!

Thank you, Lou. Your visualization took me to a place of awareness within myself where I can do some deeper work. And I know the path I want to take. So grateful!

This was so magical Lou! It came to right moment in my life. I needed to hear these words today! 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼❤️

Wow! Your best meditation yet Lou. I loved the strength of the visualisations and the way the theme was developed. A truly mind moving and refreshing zing of a meditation. Thank you so much 🙏🌈🌼🌺🌸🌈

My walls have officially fallen down for the last time. Very moving, it spoke to the soul. Thank you so much you are incredible

Thank you for the reminder
that the difficult path can lead to great beauty.

Thank you. I love bringing the guides in always amazes me. I took the oath on the left and found myself in the top of a long stairwell on the cliff of the ocean. Spontaneous and healing energy. Side note I had a strange “vision” I journaled about. I will have to contemplate 🤔

Born of love and intelligence this is a great meditation to motivate self-exploration