Overcoming Fear

This inspiring talk and meditation will help you create a new relationship with fear and use it as a way to grow and move in the direction of your dreams. This practice will help you stay persistent on your path and trust that the energy you're putting out in the world will come back to you.

Transcript

All right,

Let's start with just naming this topic and just the theme,

Overcoming fear.

I think that's actually a little bit of a myth because on our journey,

We're not necessarily wanting to get rid of fear,

Right?

We definitely don't want to get rid of fear.

And if we use that idea of overcome,

Right,

I kind of like this looking at it in the sense of sometimes when we feel the weight,

Like the pressure of fear,

When we're under it,

Then it's really constricting us.

And so the overcoming aspect is learning to get on its level.

Okay,

I can be with fear.

And then I can,

Oh,

There's an over,

There's an enlightening aspect to our energy that's like,

Okay,

Fear's not as controlling me because when it feels up here,

It's like crushing us.

And so there is this overcoming in the sense of kind of enlightening our spirit in that sense.

I also want to note this,

There's my favorite Joseph Campbell quote,

My favorite quote maybe,

If you've taken any of my courses,

You've probably heard me share this before,

But it's the cave you fear holds the treasure you seek.

I think the full line of it is the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

And so I'll talk a little bit about the distinctions of different kinds of fear in a moment,

But I want to presence that because there's this acronym that we hear that fear is false evidence appearing real.

And I get the truth in that.

I totally get that where it's not actually real,

Like it's in our minds,

Or it's in our experience.

But in our experience,

That emotion is real.

And if we listen to Joe on this quote of the cave we fear holds the treasure we seek,

It's not really false evidence.

It's like,

Oh,

Wow,

I'm feeling fear.

And I can ask what's on the other side of it.

And if what's on the other side of it is my growth,

Then wow,

That's actually some evidence of where I should be leaning into.

And so not to put that quote,

The acronym down,

I think it's great for many reasons,

But I just want to offer this other perspective around it.

And so there's these three distinctions when I think of fear.

And all fear is primal,

Obviously,

But I think of like,

There's a fear of if we're walking down late at night,

There's a dark alley and we get some like ping in our system that's just like feeling on threat or feeling some fear.

That's one aspect.

Then we have this fear that comes from maybe some sort of health crisis,

Maybe the fear that many of us felt in early or still within COVID times,

Right?

That fear of our mortality,

Maybe we're diagnosed with something and there's this fear that comes from that.

And now there's this other side of fear,

This other aspect where it's putting ourselves out there.

It's being vulnerable,

It's pushing our comfort zone.

And so I want us to focus more on the second two because the first one,

There's nothing really positive in being with that,

Right?

If you're going down a dark alley and you're feeling that,

Go down,

Go take another path,

Right?

You don't have to live into that or work with that in any way.

You can kind of just trust your intuition and that primal nature in us and maybe we're wrong,

Maybe we're right.

It doesn't matter.

Let's just go the other way and figure it out.

The other two are an invitation for us.

They're an invitation for us to practice courage and resilience.

We need fear to be courageous.

It's in the definition of courage.

If you're playing a tennis match and you don't have the ball,

You'll just be swinging rackets and you won't be playing tennis.

But fear,

We need fear to practice courage,

Right?

We can't be courageous without the fear.

And so when we're feeling it in those two realms,

It's like,

Okay,

This is an invitation for courage and this is an invitation also for us to be a little bit more resilient and to grow from this.

And I know I just watched,

Speaking of like the health fear,

I just watched this documentary on Netflix called Seven Yards.

This is about this Chris Norton who was paralyzed when he was a freshman in college playing football.

And it's really inspiring story like the fear of will I be able to walk again?

And how much courage and how much resilience it took and the impact he's having is incredible.

And so we can use this as an invitation for our own growth when we're feeling it.

And so all of this is learning to create a different relationship with the thing that we're feeling.

And the most of meditation and mindfulness is right,

We're changing our relationship to that thing.

So it no longer is holding us or grabbing,

Grappling us in a way that is not supportive.

And so I'll share,

I've many,

Many times where I felt an incredible amount of fear and where the courage had to come in.

And I want to share one that just comes to mind.

It was probably two years ago,

I was giving a three hour training,

My longest training that I was doing for a group of counselors,

High schools,

Training them on mindfulness for bringing it into the schools and bringing it into the kids.

And the week before I was preparing for it and I was preparing so much for it.

Like it was the longest amount I've ever spoken for in front of a group.

It was the most amount of people at the time.

I think it was only like 35 people.

And the day before,

For whatever reason,

As I'm rehearsing,

It's like this whole wave of fear just comes over me.

And I'm just like,

Whoa,

Like really in it.

Like I've never had a panic attack before,

But if I've come close,

It was this day and I was just like really in it.

And it's tomorrow.

And all I could do was just breathe into it and just trust that the effort that I was putting into it would be what would support it.

And so there was this crazy energy of fear.

The next day I get in my car,

I'm driving to this presentation.

It's like 30 minutes away.

The whole time,

It's like just a blanket of fear driving with me and there's nowhere else to go.

There's nowhere else to go.

It's like you have to go through it.

And that's often,

Coming back to this quote,

The cave you fear holds the treasure you seek.

It's that we can't sidestep it.

We don't want to get rid of it.

We have to learn how to move through it for that overcoming to happen.

And so yeah,

That was an extreme challenge for me and it was a huge growth experience.

And in that time,

That's growing my comfort level.

I had a similar little fear,

The first time doing an insight live back in September when I was like,

Oh my gosh,

All of these people that I just record meditations and put it out there,

It's very,

I can hang out by myself.

But here I'm exposed and there's all these people chatting and there was so much fear that came up.

And of course,

As you do more of it,

It becomes a little less and this becomes more comfortable now.

Now it's crazy,

But fear comes up in different ways.

Like two days ago,

I was on a conference for like a webinar and I had a question for like this panel and they brought me into the Zoom room,

Right?

On this webinar.

And I was like blown away how much fear I felt to ask this question in front of like a few people.

It's like,

Wow,

I can be on Insight Timer and speak to all of you and be like,

Okay,

And feel comfortable.

But coming on to ask this question,

I was like,

Wow,

It's interesting where this shows up,

How this shows up.

And it's all a muscle that we're starting to develop.

And I like to use the symbol of the lotus seed,

Right?

That we are this seed that we're nurturing,

But we have to go through this resistance.

We have to go through the muck.

That is the fear,

Right?

And as we go through it,

It strengthens us,

It grows us until eventually we blossom into something really beautiful.

And that is our journey.

And learning how to befriend fear that will be part of our practice today is really befriending at seeing what is the fear that we're currently dealing with.

Like I said,

It might be different categories,

It might be health concerns,

It might be job concerns,

It might be whatever it might be,

But we can find strength and resolve within that.

So,

All right,

With that,

Let us get into our practice today.

So shifting from moving into just listening to kind of an inner realm,

Closing your eyes if that's comfortable,

Allowing your hands to find a place that they feel rested on your thighs and between your hips,

Relaxing your shoulders,

And getting a sense of groundedness in any way that normally supported for you.

So maybe this is your first time meditating,

But often it's probably not.

So you kind of get a sense of what you need to settle into a practice,

Whether that's shifting any parts of your body.

Maybe that's just feeling your sit bones on the chair,

The cushion,

Feeling your legs on the floor or your feet flat on the floor.

Connecting with this earth element below us.

Maybe even imagine your energy connecting with the physical earth.

So if you can imagine where that is in relationship to where you're sitting.

Maybe it's a couple floors down.

Maybe you're outside and you're sitting on grass and you're right there.

Whatever it is,

Feel that energy drop down into the center of the earth.

And to work with fear definitely helps for us to feel a sense of groundedness.

But as you move down,

Make sure there's not a total collapse of shoulders or kind of a lumping,

Right?

Feel keeping a wakefulness and an alertness through your upper body.

And sometimes I like to do this in just a grounding practice,

What I call grounding in gratitude.

And so as you get a sense of your breath and you get a sense of its rhythm and its texture,

I'd like you to also just invite in one thing that you are grateful for right now.

And as you breathe,

Just inviting in this sense of thankfulness.

And sometimes that can offer some support and some ease as we ground.

And then together we're going to take a full and conscious breath in through the nose and release.

And so continue to settle into your breath,

Using it as your focus,

As your practice,

Feeling it wherever you feel it in your chest and your belly and your nose.

And setting this intention that with each focused breath that you are inviting an inner strength and courage.

Just like Dorothy having to meet the lion to learn of her courage,

We have our own journey to go on.

And so use this practice of focused attention to bring courage,

Invite it,

Welcome it into your awareness,

Into your being.

Notice as you do this,

If there's feelings of blockages or that it's not coming or that you're not courageous and see if you can soften into wherever you might be feeling that physically.

Soften,

Release those thoughts.

And just with the breath,

Offering the invitation for courage and resilience and strength to make its way in.

And we're going to work with that lotus flower symbolization.

And so almost like you're connecting with the power of your seed within.

So notice where you sense that seed within you.

Maybe you feel it,

Maybe you can imagine it as a little light at the center of your being.

The seed that's imbued with this growth,

This energetic spirit.

And recognize that we are this seed.

And where our life is taking us is that beautiful flower.

And the fear,

The resistance,

It's what's in between.

This seed wants you to grow into something so beautiful,

Wants you to feel all of life's treasures.

And so maybe that beauty of this seed represents something that you know already or maybe it's just the overarching beauty of who you are.

Just connect with the energy of this seed within.

And imagine that each breath you take is nurturing and watering that seed.

Because like anything,

What we control is the energy that we give to things.

Nourishing the seed with your breath and maybe feeling that courage grow just a little bit.

And all it takes from us is just a little bit,

Day by day.

You have the capacity to grow this seed.

Gentle breath in with me.

And breath out.

And that the muck that we must move through,

And that's our work.

And I read a comment,

Some maybe feeling tired of being in that muck.

And so if there is that resistance,

That tension that you've been feeling or you do feel something you're working towards,

Just notice if there's any sensation in the body that's feeling a little uncomfortable.

And just as a little practice,

Seeing if you can locate it,

Seeing if you cannot resist it.

And just offer a space for a moment.

And be with it.

Just allowing it to be part of your experience.

And then letting that go.

And here's where we really get into working with this.

And so with kindness,

With understanding your own space and your own awareness around this topic.

I want you to think of a situation for you that brings up fear.

Maybe it's something work related.

Maybe as I saw,

Maybe it's getting in a car,

Maybe it's driving.

Maybe it's a conversation with certain people.

Maybe it's health concerns.

Fear of not being good enough,

Of failing,

Being embarrassed.

And just not getting lost in the story.

Just noticing and seeing the awareness in the body,

What happens if there's tension,

There's tightness.

And just allowing it,

Just as we did a moment ago.

Just giving it some space.

Not having to run or resist right away.

And fear shows up in our lives for a good reason.

It's trying to protect us.

It's trying to help us,

Keep us safe.

And so I'd like you to,

With this awareness of your own fear,

Practice thanking it for its intention.

Thanking it for what it wants for you,

For caring for you,

For wanting you to be safe.

And if you want some affirmations to do that,

Just imagining,

Feeling,

Just noticing it and saying,

Thank you,

Fear.

Thank you for caring for me.

Thank you for wanting me to be safe.

Thank you,

Fear.

Thank you for caring for me.

Thank you for wanting me to be safe.

Just noticing of just offering that shifts anything.

It might,

It might not.

And then after you've thanked it,

Just asking yourself,

What's on the other side of this fear?

You can see a version of you that is no longer fearful of this thing.

What does that look like?

What is the seed blossoming into a flower?

What opens up?

And so depending on what the fear is,

There might be places in ahead that you want to go and there might be places that you don't know and that's welcome too.

Well,

Together we'll take a gentle breath in and breath out.

And still holding the awareness of this,

This fear.

And see if you can allow just a soft smile on your face.

That you can kind of offer lightness in the face of fear.

You can sense that you can be with this in a new way.

And honoring if this is challenging to do that too.

But we remember our friend,

Joseph Campbell.

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

So see if you can smile at this opportunity to practice courage and to be led towards your own growth and a new version of who you're becoming.

Once again,

Breathe in that courage and that strength into your seed.

I'd like you to repeat these words to yourself honoring what is happening as you be with and befriend and move through your fear.

Sharing silently or out loud or just listening.

This is growing me.

I can do this.

I am capable.

I am strong.

I am worthy.

This is growing me.

I can do this.

I am capable.

I am strong.

I am worthy.

Repeat one or a few of those that resonates that you feel like you need right now silently to yourself.

Just starting to notice if any of those sensations are shifting.

It might,

It might not.

Both are fully welcomed.

Together,

Let's take a full conscious breath in and breath out.

And so now that we've kind of been with this fear,

Created a little bit more relationship,

We're going to do a practice that I want to note may be especially challenging if your fear might be around driving.

Because what I'd like all of us to do is to imagine that you are getting into a car.

You're getting into your car and you're going on a long road trip and you're going to a beautiful destination,

But you're not exactly quite sure what it is.

And as you get into your car,

You see in the passenger seat is that same fear that you just worked with.

You notice and you realize that actually it's going to be a long for the ride.

But actually my job is not to get away from it,

It's actually to learn how to ride with it.

To not resist that it's there.

To befriend it like a friend on a road trip.

Maybe you look over to it and just honor that it's showing you courage,

It's teaching you courage.

Maybe ask where it wants to lead.

Road trips are exciting and fun,

Just like our journeys into the unknown.

And so imagine yourself starting your car and starting to drive through beautiful roads.

Imagine that you're driving towards that blossomed flower,

That North Star,

Your treasure.

Maybe you see yourself driving towards a goal,

A dream,

Enlightenment,

Whatever it is for you.

Wherever you're going,

That fear is going to be along for the ride.

So see if you can just drive and relax into it.

Like an old friend who's along on this path that you have chosen.

Or maybe this path that has chosen you.

Just enjoy the ride for another few moments.

Breathing in that courage.

Seeing that flower blossom.

And then together with me,

Take a full conscious breath in.

And breath out.

And then just honoring whatever the experience was for you.

Welcoming,

Knowing that we're not trying to create any kind of experience.

Noticing and honoring if there was resistance,

If there was more fear that came up.

And honoring and welcoming if there was a release,

An ease that was shown.

Maybe there's a hand or two over your heart just signifying this self-care,

This self-embrace.

And no matter what,

You are growing.

You can do this.

You are worthy.

You are strong.

You are capable.

And I say that because I've seen it in my own journey.

And staying here as long as you'd like.

But if you'd like to start to come back,

Maybe slight movements,

And now opening your eyes and joining us back in this space.

Reviews

Very helpful. Thanks

Well done

Great discussion and meditation on moving through fear and getting to the treasure on the other side.

Lou’s invitation to journey with your fear is soothing and worth the trip.

This was beautiful. I have fear of deep water but am learning how to swim. This meditation will help in my journey. Thank you!

Excellent. I am downloading this and using it to help me with my immense fear of flying, first time in 15 years this Saturday. Thank you for all the beautiful lessons you give.

Thank you!

Perfect and on point!

It felt like I was having a thearpy session her at y to hear

I listen to your meditation every night before going to sleep. I have noticed a renewed energy gushing inside me in the morning. Your meditations are really authentic and I can genuinely connect at a deeper level. Great job Lou!!!

Thank you very much. I think we clinched a deal today sir.

thank you! this gives me courage to face my fears.

Great meditation on how to manage fear and be with it. Very insightful! 🙂

Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!Truly showing the Holy Spirit in all circumstances.

Absolutely fantastic. Wonderful soothing voice. The best I have experienced.
I felt so much calmer and settled almost instantly.
🙏

This was such a helpful exercise. I have been experiencing panic and strong self-doubt and was getting so lost in the "muck." During this practice I was able to rise to the surface and look down at my struggle, seeing that it is just a bump in the road. I will find the treasure I seek in this cave of fear.

Thank you for helping me find gratitude for this challenge.

I really appreciate and am grateful for Lou’s ongoing efforts to connect and resonate with others on the theme of embracing fears with a different perspective; the fears shift from being disabling to one of service or growth. Lou’s transparency regarding his experiences with fear make his talks/meditations relatable and illustrates how we can shift perspectives. The guided images Lou uses create multiple ways to implement new approaches for managing what we fear. Revisiting this theme in multiple meditations has created a greater awareness of perceiving fears with greater neutrality. His masterful way of weaving talks, meditations and guided images together creates a better place for improving our practice. Highly recommend following what Lou has to offer.

Very helpful to acknowledge the different kinds of fear. Thanks Lou 🙏🏻🌺

'Breathing in courage'
Just that phrase really settles me.
Thank you.